[CONTENTID1] Epilogue [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

Kim Jaejoong’s POV

My own reflection stared at me, appearing beautiful like expected. For, I had not always regarded myself as a handsome man, but a pretty one. Before, my own prettiness had been an insecurity of mine, a trait I wanted to shed. Just the idea of looking like a girl had daunted me. It brought annoyances, such as misconceptions of my gender, and stereotypes regarding on how I acted.

Yes, I did like to clean and partake in household chores. Yes, I did like to cook. I did enjoy the sizzling of the pan, and the scent of food dancing in my nose. I liked the pleasure it brought me, the way it reminded me of my mother. It sent me back to the days when I had met my love, Jung Yunho.

Jung Yunho was not yet a man, but a boy. A reckless, unstoppable boy who I viewed of negatively. He was a beast in a human’s body. He carried the stench of cigarettes as he graced the halls. A train of swears poured out of his mouth like no tomorrow.

Up until now, Jung Yunho remained unstoppable. Nobody could stop him. He was a man who sacrificed anything. Like my idiotic self, I couldn’t do anything but watch. But, he claimed his actions as an act of his love. So, instead of opposing him, I responded with a smile.

It’s been months since I woke up from the dreary hospital. For those past couple months without Yunho, it felt like I was truly dying. An emptiness had gnawed me in the inside, slowly submerging me into a sea of sadness. I was always weak, and meek, the idea of suicide was not a foreign concept, for I have attempted it several times.

My first taste of the pill was not after my diagnosis. No, it was after Yunho and I’s separation. My omma’s sickness was worsening, and life had become meaningless. I was under the scrutiny of a crime I was blamed for. I believed that Yunho had left me for good.

I can recall it being a dark, snowy night. The streets were barely visible, due to the heavy snow. The roads were closed, and the power was out. While my omma was deep in her slumber, I snuck to the medicine cabinet and grabbed a handful of pills. As my hand neared my mouth, my own vision had attacked me. The sight of Yunho lying on a hospital bed flashed in my eyes, causing my stomach to wretch. With that one vision, the pills spilled out of my hands, crashing to the floor.

Tears could not stop pouring that night. My body trembled so violently that night, that it felt like a drift of cold air had entered.

Before my vision, I’d thought Yunho resented me. I’d assumed he believed in the stories Lee Mi Ran had spewed out. My own delusions drove me to a pit of craziness, ripping me into shreds.

But knowing that he shared the same craziness as I, I somewhat felt relieved.

We really did bring pain to each other, haven’t we? But it was a pain I enjoyed, a pain that felt pleasurable. Call me a masochist, but this is who I am. A rose with thorns. Beautiful, but dangerous.

Thankfully, traces of the cancer had faded away. The tumor no longer remained, and my stamina was back to its best. Of course, it could come back any minute, any second. But, I chose not to dwell upon that fact. I wanted to live my life to its fullest, and make up for the ten years I had lost.

“Ahjussi.”

That voice was too familiar for me to ignore. I turned around, sighting the youthful, bubbly girl I’ve grown fond over. For me, she was almost like a daughter. A sweet, filial daughter.

“Ji Eun Tak-ssi,” I said, spinning on the stool.

Finally, I had control of my own voice, along with my steps, and the way I lived life. It took quite time to regain my abilities. Countless appointments with the physical and speech therapists had paid off.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“Of course I am,” I said with eagerness, rising from the chair. “You look quite beautiful.”

“Really?! Heechul-oppa helped me!” she exclaimed, twirling in her turquoise dress.

It was a lovely color, its shade easy on the eyes. It reminded me of a tropical sea. The pearls on her neck complimented her attire, making her dazzle. Her hair was styled in wavy curls that hit her soldier. In my eyes, she was no longer a girl, but a woman. Of course, she’s a woman, she’s entering University. How could I forget?

“You need to stop calling him your oppa. He is sixteen years older than you, he can basically be your uncle,” I said, fixing my collar.

“He says I can’t do that,” she pouted, crossing her arms.

“You’re just making his midlife crisis worse,” I said.

She gave out a laugh, in response to my remark.

“Anyways ahjussi...you look quite cool~” she said, fixing my tie. “You look more handsome in a suit and tie.”

“Really?” I asked. “Is not weird or anything? Does it fit me properly?”

“Of course it does! We got it tailored just for you! Thank god you gained bit of weight, because your shoulders look wider.”

“Does gaining weight make your shoulders wider?” I questioned.

“Well, in your case...maybe it does,” she said.

“So...” I said, eying the window. “When are the other men coming?”

“You mean your...bridesmaids?” Ji Eun Tak said, snickering.

“I do not want to call them my bridesmaids,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Oh, there they are,” she pointed out.

“Heechul! Kangin! Ji Cheol!” I exclaimed, drawing towards my best friends.

“Jaejoongie~~” Heechul beamed.

“Jaejoong-ssi!” Ji Cheol cried.

“Jaejoong-ah!” Kangin exclaimed.

It’s been a decade since I last saw Kangin. It seemed that he gained a bit of weight, the fat softening his handsome features. But for his case, it was quite inevitable, since he raised four kids while owning a ramen restaurant.