[CONTENTID2] Spikes [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID1]

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Chapter 16:

Seconds passed, minutes flew, but despite the ticking time, Jaejoong remained in the comfort of my own arms as we sat in the corner of the bathroom.

He refused to leave the spot, no matter how persuasive I tried to be.

Not a single word fled from his lips, only his soft, muffled cries filled the silence.

Life wasn’t fair. Why did Jaejoong have to suffer like this?

Did that bastard Yoochun commit a crime to Jaejoong? Was it the reasoning for my hatred towards him? Think Yunho, think.

I cannot stay oblivious anymore.

Think hard, think about Jaejoong’s past words.

My fickle mind remained blank like a starless sky.

Maybe Yoochun bullied Jaejoong. He seemed like the type to inflict harm against weak ones. Jaejoong’s eyes were filled of fear as if Yoochun was superior to him.

Or maybe it was more severe than bullying. Bullying is the worse thing you could do to anyone, but there’s also , murder, blackmailing

“A group of boys…they were attempting to me,” he muttered.

But, why would Yoochun Jaejoong? Wasn’t he…wasn’t he straight? Why would he a boy?

Then I forgot, rapists had no preferences. Right? They ed anything that walked. Children, elderly, adults- Jaejoong was no exception.

I wanted to punch the out of Yoochun and his disgusting face. I wanted to cut that off of his and feed it to pihranas. He wasn’t a man; he was human filth. I had no proof of it being him, but my instincts told me otherwise.

I couldn’t just leave Jaejoong. Maybe when he falls asleep, I’ll run out the door and track that bastard.

I wanted to land my fists on the mirror, craving the pain it would bring me. I wanted blood to shed, I wanted to hear the glass shatter.

 My anger was getting worse by the minute like a spreading fire.

The mild tremors that shook Jaejoong’s body died down as he surrendered to his own fatigue. His hushed down, faint snores tickled my arm as air drew out from his mouth.

“Let’s go sleep,” I said as I rose him from the ground. I loaded him on my back, feeling the burden of his body weigh down my spine.

“Aish, you’re so light…you lost too much weight,” I groaned as I exited the bathroom.

Finally, his body plopped to the couch as I let him down. Suddenly, something hit my shoes as I draw away from him.

His voice recorder appeared in my sight as I fixate my gaze to the ground.

‘Huh?” I asked, bending to the ground. The earphones swayed as I snatch it in my possession.

Inspecting it, I realize it’s the recorder that he held in his sleep. The recorder he was so dependent on.

A pang of curiosity hit my tiny brain as my thumb hovered over the play button.

Jaejoong was sleeping. He wouldn’t catch me, right?

This voice recorder could be the end to my questions.

I moved to the neighboring couch across him, plugging the earphones in my ears.

. . This was invasion of privacy, but I didn’t care. This is for my own good. This Jaejoong was full of secrets, and it’s his fault for not telling me.

I’ll just listen to a few recordings, then I’ll toss it back to the ground.

Who knows? Maybe the files are just Girls Generation songs or Xiah Junsu’s ballads.

God will punish me for doing this. I held my breath and pressed the button.

Nothing but the wind’s brisk sound buzzed through the speakers. I let the file play, hoping a voice would interject.

Was that it? Just wind blowing? I pressed the next button, hoping I could get something else other than wind sound effects. Yeah, it was nice, but a bit irrelevant for my current situation.

I looked at the small, tiny screen embedded on the device. The files were dated from ten years ago, which was quite interesting.

(Author’s Note: Instead of using Italic I will use a bold and italic font to indicate it’s a voice recording, because I always use italic fonts for flashbacks/dreams and it might confuse people. And if there's other people's voice in the recordings, I'll just use italic)

File: 060126.mp3

Jaejoong-ah. It’s me appa. I saw this voice recorder in the store and I wanted to give it to you for your birthday. You probably have the recorder right now, right?

Well, I’m going to tell you something.

Appa…is going to Suwon. Don’t worry, me and your mother are not divorcing. My boss offered me a spot there and the pay is high. Once I move to Suwon, you and your mother’s lives will improve.

When my boss first offered me the job, I wanted to refuse. The idea of being a sparrow dad frightened me. 

But I told myself, this would be the best for our family. I’ll finally be able to afford a good Hagwon for you to attend, your mother doesn’t have to work, and I’ll get to pay our debt.

Don’t worry Jaejoong-ah, appa will be sure to visit you every weekend. The drive is only two hours from Seoul.

With this recorder, I want you to record your daily life, so appa doesn’t miss much. My worst fear is not knowing my son well enough.

Every meal you take, record it. When you’re feeling sad, vent it out on this voice recorder. Okay?

So email me the files, so appa can hear it at night. It’d be nice if you record your mom’s voice too.

Happy birthday Jaejoong-ah!!

Be strong…okay?! Aja Aja, fighting, fighting!

>> next

File: 060127.mp3

Appa…it’s me Jaejoong-ah.

*sniffles*

Why…why did…why did you have to leave me…on my birthday…appa…

Why did that truck have to hit you?

I’m so scared…I’m hiding in the corner of the bathroom, hiding my tears from omma.

I don’t want omma to see me cry. She’s already crying, if she sees me cry, she’s gonna lose it all together…

I can’t believe how fast your life can change with just one event.

Just yesterday, I was smiling, eating mom’s cooking, dancing with my friends, talking to you. Now tears are spilling out of my eyes.

Omma…I know she wants to hide her sadness, but she’s always in the room crying to herself while holding your picture.

I try to look strong for her…but I can’t do it anymore.

Appa…you told me to be strong. How come I can’t do it?

I read a line from a book, that men only have three chances to cry in their lives. But I think I broke that rule.

Appa…why did you leave us so early?

Next >>>>>

File: 060128.mp3

Appa…

The landlord kicked us out of the apartment. They also took our furniture…and my stuff. Luckily I managed to take my clothes and the recorder. Don’t worry appa, I’ll make sure no one takes my recorder.

Why does our life get worse day by day? Does God hate us?

Right now, we’re staying in gomo’s (auntie) apartment.

Gomo is a bit scary, but I think we’ll be able to suffice. She just nags a lot. But she cooks good food. I guess that’s why her son is so fat.

I’m going now. I have to help mom make the side dishes.

I can’t say if we’re doing fine without you, but I’ll be strong.

I won’t cry ever again. I promise.

>>> next

File: 060216.mp3

Appa!

Mom got a job. Hopefully we’ll be able to pay the debt. She got a job as a kitchen maid at some Chaebol’s house. My auntie referred my mom since she knows the maids who work at the house.

Right now I’m packing. Apparently, me and my mother have to move in that house.

I’m a bit scared…but I’m excited at the same time. The house must be huge if they’re rich enough to hire maids.

Apparently, the master of the house is the founder of a food manufacturing company. They produce the bread and crackers we get at the grocery store.

 I think it’s the Jung Foods Assocication or something like that.

Sorry I didn’t get to record that much for the past few weeks. I had to study a lot and help mom out a lot.

I’m going to miss Gomo and Seung Hyun, or his nickname-Tabi.

I’ll be strong dad! Don’t worry~

>>>next

File: 060217.mp3

Appa…

I’m really~~tired~~

It’s midnight right now.

I changed into my pyjamas, right now I’m in the bathroom since I don’t want to wake the guy who I share my room with.

. I’m forced to share a room with him since their basement is still getting renovated. I can’t share a room with omma since the spare room is too small.

Omma says it would be weird if a son was sleeping with his mom on the same bed.

To be honest, I’m a bit scared of that guy who I share a room with.

I’m not scared of him because of my shyness, it’s because he’s really intimidating. I can’t even say his name.

The guy is a total gangster. He reeks of cigarettes and he keeps alcohol in his closet. He drinks soju as if his life depended on it. His hair is really spiky, like those iljins in my school. It’s dyed light brown too.  

He totally hates me too and the idea of sharing a room with me. He made a whole tantrum about it and kicked my leg underneath the table when we were having dinner!

 He’s totally different from his three other brothers. Should I tell you about his family and my impression of them?

Well their dad seems like a decent guy. He’s a bit scary, and short. You can totally tell he’s a boss. He has a mustache and wears a suit all the time. I don’t even think he knows how to smile.

The oldest son is the best looking. He’s tall and gives a good impression. He shook my hands, and his hands were really soft and smooth. I think he gives off a cool vibe.

He says I can call him Hyung...!!

The middle son is the one who shares the room with me, I already told you about him.

The youngest son isn’t related to the other sons, but they’re stepbrothers. You can tell they’re not related; he looks totally different from the other two. He is darker than the rest of them, and his eyes are super big. Like a deer. He’s nice too, but a little shy.

Then, there’s the youngest’s son’s mom. She’s really pretty and nice. She dresses in a sophisticated way and wears a lot of perfume. She even helped my mom with the food and gave us a warm welcome.

It's rare for a maid's family to eat with their masters, but the master's wife let us join. She's even fond of the idea of letting in a boy her stepson's age.

When I ate dinner with them, the youngest son finished the food within five minutes! He may be skinny, but he has a big appetite.

Oh dad, did I forget to tell you? Their house is so, so, so big! It’s big as Lotte World!! It’s like those houses from the dramas. Their backyard is amazing too…I never would’ve imagined living in a house like this.

They also have a library! I wish I could touch the books inside.

But too bad I don’t have full privileges to it. In order to stay in this house, I have to help my mom.

Their bathroom is huge. Bigger than my old room at Gomo’s house. I think it’s bigger than Gomo’s house altogether. I swear everything is made out of gold here.

I don’t think I’m allowed to-

“Hey ! What are you doing in my bathroom?!”

“Oh…I’m sorry…”

“Screw off! I got to pee you little leech! Now go!”

The voice that interrupted Jaejoong sounded a lot like mine, which made me more suspicious.

Perhaps, that meant…Jaejoong was the kitchen maid’s son? Was he the boy who changed my life? Did he also make me insane in the past?

I wanted to stop listening, but I couldn’t. My curiosity was intensifying. I needed to know more. 

>>> next

File: 060219.mp3

Appa…I’m sitting alone on the school rooftop, eating omma’s lunchbox. Remember when she used to deliver those to you at your office? I wish you could get a taste of it.

So far I have no friends. But that’s okay, I don’t need friends anyways. I have omma and Tabi. Oh, and how could I forget you Appa?

We had breakfast and it was the tensest breakfast I had in my whole life. It wasn’t even eight o’clock yet, and the middle son was already stirring up some trouble. Even his Hyung had to stop the fight.

The scary looking man was arguing with the rebel son. Actually, let me get a nickname for him. Let’s call him ‘spiky hair’. Spiky hair was chewing with his mouth really~~really