EDIT: OMGGGG I HATE MY LIFE I ACCIDENTALLY OVERRIDED THIS FILE WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER AND I ONLY HAD THIS FILE ON WORD DOCUMENT BUT THE FINAL EDIT WAS IN THE AFF EDITOR SO NOW THE FINAL VERSION IS GONE

I AM CRYINGGGGGGG THIS ISNT FAIRRRR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if it notifies you...

"Yunho...it's not fair if you ask all the questions...right?"

I didn't answer. I had no urge to. Why should I be obliged to answer his questions?

"That's probably a yes, considering you're not opposing me."

No, it wasn’t a yes, Kim Jaejoong. My mouth is shut, simply because I’m not interested in playing your games. Even though I initiated it, I was the one who made the rules, because I had the right to! I had the right to interrogate you due to your lies…due to your manipulative ways…

"..."

"I'm going to change the structure of the sentence. Instead of what if, I'll change it to 'where, what, when, who, and why?"

“…”

"Okay, first question. When was the lowest point of your life?"

Did I have to answer?

As I parted my mouth open, words yearned to come out of my mouth.

"When...when my girlfriend got into a coma..." I said.

But then, pondering upon my past. Was it really the worst time of my life? It definitely was. The pain of Chae Won’s absence dragged me to the realm of darkness, haunting every inch of my brain. I could still remember the hospital walls enclosing me as tears fell out my eyes from the amount of guilt I had bundled, deep in my chest.

"Are you sure? Are you sure there's nothing...more severe than that?"

"No..." I said, shaking my head.

"But isn't your girlfriend in a coma right now? But here you are...mindlessly listening to pop songs, eating, talking like a normal person. Are you sure you're at the lowest point of your life as of now?"

"I don't want to talk about my girlfriend as of now..." I said.

What did he know about me? How do YOU know I’m happy? I may seem fine on the outside, but on the inside, there was nothing but a thick emptiness that caused my heart to throb. So what if I was listening to pop songs? So what if I ate? So what if I spoke?

"Fine. Then...what moment would you revisit in your life? Could be ten days from now...or ten years from now."

"When I met my girlfriend..." I replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else in mind? Like sharing a kiss under the rain with your first love? Like exchanging rings underneath a tree?" he asked, obviously referring to our teenage memories.

"Where did you get those ideas?" I asked, acting oblivious.

"....mo...movies...." he stuttered.

Obviously not.

"Next question?" I asked.

"What would you do? conform to society or choose your happiness?"

This was a question not to be answered with such carelessness.

"Can't I do both?"

"No, one only,” he said.

"Fine...happiness..." I said, not giving the question a second thought. Or maybe I did have second thoughts. I’m happy with Chae Won…right? Being with a woman, made me happy…right? Why did I even question myself?  

"Are you happy with your woman?" he asked.

"Very happy."

"Why?" he asked.

"She makes me warm..." I replied, thinking about the warmth of Chae Won’s hugs.

"That's it? Does your heart flutter when you kiss her? Or does she only make you feel 'warm'?"

What kind of question was that? Of course my heart fluttered. Anybody’s heart would flutter if they kissed the one they loved, right?

"Both."

"Is it true?" he asked.

"Very,” I replied.

"How true?" he asked.

"A hundred percent...if I could, I would kiss her right in front of you to prove my point.”

It’d be nice if Chae Won was here, just to lift the burden of Kim Jaejoong off my back. The endless array of questions he had for me were vaster than an ocean, which left me with a drought of no answers.

"Last question,” Jaejoong added.

"Okay.”

"What was your biggest regret?"

"My past,” I said.

"Why?" he asked.

"For loving someone so crazily. So crazily that it drove me insane...doing that...it made me realize how stupid I was..."

"You...you really regretted that?"

By the stutter of his words, a great, load of guilt settled on my chest, weighing deep like an anchor. Did…did I really say that?

"Yes. I hate myself over it. I'm embarrassed of it.”

But then, my stubbornness remained as I added more oil to the fire.

"...really? You hated it...that much?" he asked, his voice weak and wavering.

"Yes...." I replied.

“…”

"I have another regret.”

"What?"

"Kissing you in the park...it was a mistake....I shouldn’t have done it..."

This was going to erupt into something bigger, I can already predict it. From a small, mere flame to a fiery explosion. My mouth wouldn’t stop running, and my mind couldn’t stop words from leaking.

"You did it because you wanted me that night did you?"

"No!” I shrieked. His desperateness was showing.

"Then why did you do it?"

"I needed someone to fulfill my needs...after lack of affection I’ve been getting…I just needed something to fix my craving. Not because I wanted you. I could’ve done it to any girl…but you were there…"

Was I saying the truth? Or was I deluding myself? I didn’t care. I’m willing to do anything to stab him with my words, in order for him to bleed the pain I felt.

"You're ing sick,” he gnarled.

I hitched my breath at his sudden remark.

"…”

"How dare you ing play with someone's feelings like that? Do you think I'm some toy? Just because I like boys...you used me to fulfill your needs?"

"I..."

The tires squealed, tossing my head back as the car jerked to a sharp, sudden turn, soon followed by an unexpected stop to the curb.

“What the hell?!” I cried, darting my gaze at Jaejoong.

An intimidating, frightening expression exuded from every inch, every line of his face as he pierced the dashboard with his eyes.  "I'm going to the washroom..." he croaked.

The car door opened, soon shutting with a bang as Jaejoong exited the vehicle. His coat flapped as he stomped towards the rest stop. His figure vanished faster than I could count.

What did I just do? What the did I do?

I leaned my head back, rubbing my temples with the tips of my fingers as I delved upon the things I’d said to Jaejoong. How sick was I? How low could I ing get?

Even if he used my amnesia as a way to win me back, even if he dropped a pot on Ara’s head, even if he made me crazy…my frustration couldn’t outweigh my conscience.

Then I thought about the other possibilities of his sudden visit to the restroom…maybe he needed to tend his bladder. Maybe his hands in need of a rinse, maybe he needed to look at a mirror.

In order to distract myself from my worries, I unwrapped the knot of the cloth, unbundling the cloth wrapped around the container. Within the giant container, consisted of a thermos, three packs of chocolpies, a glass container filled of boiled eggs, and a big back of honey butter chips. Go-Ara was definitely generous.

I ripped the package of the chocopie, consuming the pie within seconds as I chomped it contently. Oh, the power of food. The sweet, rich flavor of the chocolate coating subsided my worries within seconds.

But then the worries returned to my stomach as time ticked. Where the hell was Jaejoong? Didn’t taking a piss take less than five minutes? Perhaps, was there a line? No way, the roads were vacant. Only our car occupied the space.

The countryside’s fresh, summer air radiated throughout as I escaped the car’s stuffiness. I deposited the bundled container on the car seat, soon leaving it behind as I shut the door.

Jaejoong…where the are you? Why are you hiding from me? Although I knew the answers, I asked myself these questions as I neared the rectangular, mahogany covered structure.

Entering the washroom, I was greeted with nothing but a lifeless atmosphere. Not a single person was in sight, except the silhouette of my own shadow, which bled on the ground.

“Kim-byeonhosa…help me…”

My stance wavered as Jaejoong’s sobs echoed throughout the walls. Who was he talking to? Looking down, I spotted the shiny texture of his suede shoes underneath the stall.

 “I can’t take this anymore…”

“It hurts too much…help me…”

I stood still, eager to know the reason behind his whimpers. The pitiful sound of his voice made my heart wrench, and my knees wobble.

“I had two visions that night…He knows everything…I know it…I saw him…my vision…he read…something…I don’t know what it was…but…but he knows something…he’s been…questioning me…”  

“…it’s not a good thing…my bastard of a friend…he…he said things to him…now he knows …he knows…the reason…behind…everything… …I was so scared…to come drive here…knowing…that he hates me…I tried…I tried to pretend…that nothing was wrong…but…it definitely shows…”

“What..,what am I going to do now?....help me…help me…I don’t know why I’m crying…I shouldn’t…have…attempted this…he regrets…everything…”

“help me…please…convince him…try to make him…not mad at me…try…if you’re good at defending the needy…then defend me…help me…do anything you can…you can tell him…anything…as long…as he comes to me”…bye…”

-vibration-

I darted out of the bathroom, not wanting to be caught in the a