[CONTENTID2]잃어버린 시간 IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID1]

“Yunho-yah…” Heechul said, placing his hand on top of mine. He gave me a look, a look of seriousness as his eyebrows knotted together. “Your Hyung…he specifically told me not to tell you about how you two separated…because if we ever did…you’ll…you’ll end up in that mental hospital again…”

“Then…then I’ll be in the mental hospital!” I exclaimed.

Did I actually go to a mental hospital? Was Heechul kidding? You know Heechul, he likes to poke fun and make jokes all the phone…being his friend for a long time, I knew my own friend’s humor.

“Yunho…” he said, his seriousness unfaltered. “I’m being serious…”

“What…?” I muttered in disbelief as I gawked at Heechul.  

“Do…do you want to suffer again Yunho? You know how long it took…it took you to be sane again? Eight years. During those two years in that hospital…you…you were so miserable…so miserable from Jaejoong’s absence…even your dad considered disowning you…”

“My dad…” I whispered.

“He…he almost did. But he didn’t. All he did was cut your credit cards, and all the money you mooched off of him…after you got ran away from that hospital…you became broke…and...we even called the police....In-Sung and Changmin tried to look for you…then…then…”

“Then what?” I asked.

“We finally found you two months later…living in a small studio apartment in Itaewon…when we found you, you begged us not to tell your dad…or else he’d get you back in that mental hospital…”

“What…what else did I do?” I stammered, trembling within my seat.

“You also told us not to give you any money, or any financial help since you wanted to earn money yourself. So then you painted that famous painting of yours, and finally you became famous, and rich once again. But then…your dad wanted to get you back in the mental hospital…so then you continued to avoid him, so then In-Sung got you a house that was far away from your dad’s. You even tried to cut yourself off of the Jung family registry…”

“…why did I do all that?”

“Don’t you get it?!” Heechul cried, tightening his grasp on my hand. “You went crazy for that !!”

“Heechul!” I cried, standing up from the chair. “How…how could you call Jaejoong a ?! Weren’t…weren’t you two the best of friends?”

Heechul looked at me from below, his eyes full of anger and desperation as lines creased his forehead.

 “I didn’t mean to say it…He’s still my friend. No matter how crazy Jaejoong is, I still like him. It’s just that…he’s not healthy for you Yunho-yah…it’s best for you not to know…it’s best not to know what happened at the day you separated-”

“Then…then, if you two are friends…then why did he run away from you at the café when I was with him?” I croaked. “Did you really keep in contact with him for all these years?”

Heechul lowered his gaze. “I’ll explain…how we’re still friends…I’ll explain why stuff happened okay?”

“Okay,” I said, sitting back on the chair. “Tell me everything you know.”

“Well…after the day you two…you guys separated…I tried to contact Jaejoong. I tried really, really hard just to get a hold of him because of the current state you were in at the time…”

“…”

“I tried to call him again. I even walked around with Kangin just to find him. But we couldn’t find him, no matter how hard we tried…”

“Then what?” I asked.

“Then…you found him for the last time at the train station…that was your last meeting…I remember that day…you called me, and you were crying so hard…”

Flashback:

“Heechul…Jaejoong…he’s…he left me…” I sobbed into the phone. My own tears blurred the sight of the phonebooth I stood in. Raindrops fell from the sky, trickling down the glass walls that surrounded me.

“Yunho…where…where are you?!”

“I’m…I’m in the phonebooth…near that train…and that oak tree…”

“Yunho…did you see Jaejoong again?!” Heechul burst.

“I did…I saw him in that train…I tried to chase after it…but I couldn’t keep up with it…I wanted to say my last farewell…to apologize…to apologize that I couldn’t protect him…this is all my fault…they’re blaming him…they’re blaming him for everything…and I couldn’t do anything to stop it!! Heechul…what am I going to do?”

“Yunho…take a deep breath. We…we really tried to do the best we can. It’s so not your fault! And the whole thing…there’s too much evidence that it was him…we can’t…we can’t do anything about it…”

“Yunho…are you okay?” Heechul asked, his eyes enlarging.

“I’m fine,” I nodded, trying to shake off the recent flashback. The vaugue flashbacks were somewhat aligning to the things Heechul said, which left a glint of hope within me.

“Do you want me to keep telling you? Or are you going to faint?”

“No…keep going…” I muttered.

“I had no contact of Jaejoong for five years. Things changed in a span of five years. You finally achieved your dreams of being an artist. Kangin married and left for Japan. Your Hyung  finally became a lawyer, Changmin went to college…but then something bad happened to your father’s business…”

“What?” I asked.

“Someone filed a lawsuit for deceptive advertising for your father’s products and the excessive use of MSG or something...and then the person who filed the lawsuit ended up winning three billion won.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.

“You know who filed the lawsuit?” Heechul asked.

“Who?”

“Jaejoong…” Heechul replied. “I personally think Jaejoong did it on purpose to fight against your father…”

“How…how did you know it was Jaejoong?” I asked, leaning my head forwards.

“Jaejoong and I accidentally bumped into each other when I was grocery shopping…then we met up in the coffee shop…and we just talked for hours and hours.”

“And…and you didn’t tell me? For all these years…you had contact with him, but you didn’t tell me?” I asked, reffering to my 'past' self. 

“I even kept Jaejoong and I's friendship a secret from your whole family…” Heechul said.

“…”  

“Anyways…Jaejoong told me…he told me that he filed the lawsuit against your father. He didn’t tell me why he did it so out of the blue, but then I knew.”

“So he could fight against my father? So then…he could sabotage my abouji’s business…right?” I asked.

“Right. When he filed the lawsuit, Jaejoong already had enough money to hire a really good lawyer since he earns a lot with that professor job of his. If he tried to do it as a poor college student, do you think he would’ve had the money to hire a good lawyer? Also, no one would’ve believed Jaejoong since seniority matters in this country of ours. The older you are, the wiser you are.”

“Wow…I never would’ve thought about it like that…”

“In the past…you would’ve never thought Jaejoong was capable of doing something like that…since you know, he was shy, and scared of everything…but I guess the stuff that happened to him…made him…made him into a stronger person?” Heechul said. 

“Do not swear by the moon, for she changes constantly. then your love would also change,” I said, hiding my journal afterwards.

“Wow Yunho, that’s one of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare. It showcases the evolution of human nature; don’t you think?”

“It is. I’ve been contemplating about that fact. People change as they grow older. The future is very unpredictable. It would be really interesting to see how much I change as a person.”

Jaejoong was right, and somewhat his words were a mere reflection of my own self. I was changing my ways for the sake of Jaejoong in the sake of love.

“I think…I think you’ll be a great person in the future…” I said without holding back. “You’re smart…and you’re nice…unlike me…”

“What did my father do to make Jaejoong hate him so much?” 

“The question is…” Heechul said. “What did Jaejoong do to make your whole family hate him so much?”

That question burned itself into my memories…it made my blood run, and my thoughts go wild.

“I’ll tell you more…” Heechul said.

“Okay…”

“When you got into that car accident…Jaejoong called me when I was in Europe…”

I hated that day. I hope this would be the last time it’d be mentioned again. Just the memory of it brought great pain, and immense guilt within me.

“What…what did he say?” I asked.

“He just got out of his surgery…and he just finished talking the police that day…he found out you were the one who caused the accident....he said he had a plan…his voice was so happy that day too…”

“Why?” I asked. “Why would he be happy?”

“He had a plan for you two to reunite…he thought it all out…since…since he could see into the future…well to be exact…he can see into your future…Oh !! I’m not supposed to tell you that!!!!” Heechul burst, clapping his hand over his mouth.

“No…it’s okay…I already know…”

“How?”

“Well…it’s a long story…” I said, thinking about the time I eveasdropped into somebody else’s appointment with the therapist.

Could that possibly mean…that Jaejoong was the author to that cellphone novel. It was totally him. Who else could describe the moments we shared underneath the oak tree? Who else could write about my flaws? My personality? My interests. It was nobody else but Kim Jaejoong. But then, who was Kim Min Ji? Did Kim Min Ji exist? 

“Wait…Heechul, if Jaejoong could see into my future... did that mean he told you about his visions?” I asked, cutting his words.

“He did. So…so I already knew about you two living together…since Jaejoong told me that day…he said…”

Flashback; Heechul’s POV:

“Heechul…I’m finally going to meet Yunho…” Jaejoong said.

What the hell? Was he deluding himself again? Is he confusing his own dreams for reality? Yunho? Why would they meet? Is Jae-Jae going cray cray?

“Huh?! Jaejoong…you’re totally not making sense here!! How are you going to meet Yunho? Hm?? In your dreams? Psh…” I said into the phone as I looked at my nail beds.

“No…I saw it in my vision…this accident…it happened for a reason…”

“Jaejoong…are you sure? Are you like sure that guy in your ‘vision’ was actually Yunho?!”

“A week ago, I got a vision of that same, exact day…but Yunho was proposing to his little …”

“Jaejoong! That’s not very nice you know?! I can’t believe you just called Chae-Won a …” I burst.

I could remember that day when Jaejoong received that vision. We were hanging out at the café near Seoul University; the University he taught literature in. Then when he was about to drink his coffee, he dropped his coffee and ran into that bathroom. So then, I followed him and then I heard him crying in that stall. So then I asked him what was wrong and then he told me that Yunho proposed to that Chae Won (his words, not mine). Jaejoong was a total wreck that day, I swear.

“Anways…the vision didn’t come true…I swear he was going to propose to her on that day, but then the car accident happened…and now I’m going to meet Yunho…”

“You know…that’s not a very good thing to be happy about Jaejoong! Yunho’s girlfriend…well, In-Sung told me she’s in a coma…someone’s in a coma and you’re all happy and stuff!!”

“I don’t give a Heechul! I hate that ! I hope she dies…only I belong to Yunho!!”

“Jaejoong…you’re really~really crazy…”

“I even wasted my money on baby clothes for Yunho’s future baby. The got herself pregnant and  the baby's probably dead by now…I even went all the way to his house to deliver the package…what a waste of time…”

How crazy has Kim Jaejoong gotten in the duration of 10 years? Very crazy. I would’ve never envisioned him saying the words ‘’ in the years I knew him. Especially in high school. Yunho and Jaejoong really did reverse roles. Jaejoong was spice, and Yunho was sugar.

Sweet, angelic Yunho did nothing but paint and provide happiness to his beautiful doctor girlfriend, Kim Chae Won. He couldn’t even drink soju past one shot before passing out.

Ambitious, work-oriented, and fierce Kim Jaejoong was a total . Especially when it came to grading papers. He’s such a neatfreak too, I swear he has OCD. What happened to the sweet, shy Kim Jaejoong I once knew from 10 years ago?

“Anyways, you want to know what’ happens in my vision when I meet Yunho?”

“What?”

“