[CONTENTID2] Hidden Answers [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID1]

“You can stop carrying me now…I’m…a grown man…you know…” Jaejoong stuttered.

“I don’t want to…” I said, nearing the bus station.

“Aish…I feel so embarrassed…” he said. A thud hit the ground as the weight of his body slips off my back.

Quickly reacting to his sudden fall, I turned my head over my shoulder, just to see a completely, independent Jaejoong standing with his own feet. I guess he didn’t need me after all. But why was I so drawn to the idea of taking care of him?

“Aish Yunho, you embarrass me,” he said, crossing his arms.

I guess he wasn’t affected by the kiss. He seemed to be functioning normally. He’s totally acting as if nothing every happened. Why did the color of his flesh remain the same? Wasn’t he supposed to be red? Maybe it’s because he’s sick. Maybe I wasn’t attractive enough for him.

Why did I even care?

It’s not like I held romantic feelings towards him, right? I was just curious. That’s all.

Kissing doesn’t automatically mean love, right? Aish! Get your head straight Jung Yunho. Kim Jaejoong is a MAN.

Yunho, you are a man. Just a man. He’s just another man. Maybe it’s my rare communication with females that caused my physical attraction towards Jaejoong. I had to admit. He’s really pretty. Prettier than most girls. He could even compete with Kim Tae Hee. But definitely not with my Chae Won.

Chae Won. Why am I like this?

God. Help me. Please. Explain me the reason why my heart his thumping so loudly, why my hands are shaking, why my composure is faltering.

I should just avoid him. Stay far away from him.

I drew myself far from Jaejoong as I sat down. He perched on the same bench, causing me to slide further to the end. He remained still in his spot as he cupped his hands around his mouth, soon heaving out a loud cough. On impulse, I angled my body towards his direction as I gained the urge to comfort him.

No! You can’t do that Jung Yunho! Are you crazy? You’re going to end up sleeping with him at this rate. Stay still and look at the illuminated advertisement board of Hani endorsing a water bottle.

I rocked in my seat back and forth, rubbing my thighs as I concentrated my focus on Hani.

Hani. Pale skin, round cheeks, big eyes. Hani is a girl. Jung Yunho likes girls. He loves women. 

But that Xiah guy from TVXQ is already dating her, how was I supposed to fantasize over Hani, knowing that she probably sleeps with that Xiah dude?

That stupid dolphin Xiah!

Aigoo! This wasn’t working at all! Jaejoong somehow managed to enter my mind despite my eager motivation to snap out of my delusions.

“Aish!!!” I shrieked, rising from the chair. A flock of people turned their heads at me, reacting to my sudden outburst.

“Aigoo…It’s nothing,” I chuckled, feeling my cheeks burn.

The neighboring people turned their heads back, pretending as if nothing happened.

“Crazy dude,” the high school student standing in front of me muttered.

Aish! If I could, I would smack some sense into that girl. I’m totally not crazy. Okay maybe I am. It’s not my fault though, it’s all because of Kim Jaejoong!! Not me!!

“Yunho.”

“What?!” I asked, filching at the sound of my name.

“The bus is here,” he muttered.

“Right,” I said, looking at the approaching bus.

In order to avoid Jaejoong, I walked to the front of the line as I cut myself in front of a teenage girl.

“What is this?! Ahjussi, why did you cut-,”

I turned around, preparing myself to reprimand the girl.

“Ahjussi! I am not an Ahjussi! I am pretty young!! And I’m older than you, so you better give me respect…do you understand?!” I exclaimed, wagging my finger at her.

The girl immediately sunk her gaze to the ground, probably intimidated by my response. What’s good, you rascal? I can’t believe she had the audacity to call me an Ahjussi.

I mounted my step up the bus, soon reaching for my pockets as I gathered some change. Paying the driver, I slipped the coins inside the hole, hearing them clink.

Scanning the bus, I gravitated towards the empty spot at the very left corner, drawn by its vacantness. It was also a seat geared towards one person, which made the chances less high of Jaejoong sitting beside me.

To my non-existent luck. Jaejoong stood an inch from me as he held the bus handle from above.

What the hell? Why were there no seats? Why is the bus so crowded? Seriously.

Even from this angle, Jaejoong managed to upkeep his looks. His nose looked higher from this perspective. The adam’s apple embedded in his neck protruded outwards, seeming more prominent than before. His lips were plump and curvaceous, which resembled big, mountainous hills that sat within a sea of snow.

His gaze travelled towards my sight, causing me to turn my head away.

~

The bus ride was quick and silent. I was too delved in my own thoughts, which made the ride seem faster.

As I step out of the bus, I glance over to my watch.

10:45

Was it really that late? Were we out for that long?

Steps from behind came to my awareness as Jaejoong dragged his feet against the rough surface.

Two more blocks, a hundred more steps and a thousand heart beats to go until my house. I shoved my hands in my jeans pocket, guarding them from the cold.

I resumed my walk as I headed forwards. The sight of the street’s end becomes into a reality as I quicken my pace. My concern consumed me, resulting in a sudden stop as I turn over my shoulder.

Jaejoong’s pain was evident as he took slow, staggering steps forward. My conscience took the best of me as I walked back to join him.

“Jaejoong…”

“I thought you were supposed to avoid me? What happened to your cool act?” he asked, looking up.

How did this guy know me that well?

“Um well,” I said, scratching my head.

“Do I look that pitiful?” he asked.

“Well, yeah.”

“I’m too tired to talk, so just shut it.”

“Okay,” I nodded. What the hell? Just one answer for him? Why was I so weak?

Silence loomed upon us, the life out of our mouths. Only ten steps from our destination, the curvaceous, slope of my roof soon enters our eyes as we reach the familiarity of my home.

“Do you have the key?” I asked as I pass through the gate.

“Why? Don’t have yours?” he muttered.

“Nope,” I said, searching though my pockets.

“You’re so disorganized, it makes me crazy…” Jaejoong said as he pulls the key out of his pocket.

Just about to put they key within the hole, the object pangs onto the ground as it falls out of his grasp. Another hoarse cough scrapes against my ears as Jaejoong aims his mouth towards his arm. 

I immediately jammed they key inside, in hopes to get Jaejoong inside. The light coming from the hanging lamp beams upon the tip of my shoes as I fling the door open.

Jaejoong whims past me before I could catch a grasp of his intentions.

“Jaejoong!” I exclaimed. “You should let someone treat you!”

“No,” he said, standing in front of the master bedroom’s door. A panicked expression warps his face, scrunching his eyebrows as he digs through his pockets.

“Why do you even lock your door? It’s not like someone’s going to-,”

Jaejoong surrenders to his own illness as he sinks to the ground. He clenches his collar, loosening the tie around his neck. Sweat doused over his colorless skin. His current state dullened the pristine radiance he once possessed, making him look like a corpse.

“Aish…” I said, hoisting him within my arms. “You’re a mess Jaejoong-ah.

Making each step cautious, I assisted him to the living room. I could barely feel his weight, despite his arm being on top of my shoulder. Finally, I set his limp, weak body on the couch. As I pulled away, he entwined his arms around himself, in attempts to supress his jolting shivers.

Once again, I rest my hand on his forehead, feeling the heat sizzle into my skin. His chapped, dry lips quivered in response to our flesh meeting as he flinched slightly.

“It’s okay…I can do-,”

“Sometimes you need people to help you too…don’t you know that Jaejoong-ah? Stay here, and don’t move,” I said.

“You need to change your clothes…it’s doused with sweat…” I said.

“Aish…I’m tired,” he groaned, rolling over as he faces his back towards me. “Leave me…”

“Aish,” I spat, darting towards the backdoor. Sliding the door open, the breeze encompasses me as I head to the dry rack. Not a single trace of Jaejoong’s clothes were to be found. Left with no option, I grabbed my own sweatshirt, along with its matching sweatpants and headed back to the living room.

“Here,” I said, hovering the clothes above him.

“What are those? Your clothes?” he asked, grabbing them from me as he rose from his position.

“I had no other option okay? Where do you even laundry?”

“The dry cleaners…”

“What a waste of money,” I said, shaking my head.

“You get better quality cleaning. With those clumsy hands of yours, I doubt you manage to get the dirt and sweat off the clothes…”

“Stop sassing me okay? Be grateful that I’m taking care of you…aish…” I said as I headed towards the kitchen.

A downpour of water sprouts out of the tap, as I dampen the towel. Wringing out the towel, drips of water splats onto the sink.

It was strange seeing my own clothes on Jaejoong’s small frame. The fabric seemed to have taken Jaejoong’s entire body away as loose folds draped over his arms like a blanket. Was he that small? Or was I that fat? Despite my long legs, my pants seemed to have fit him just fine as the hem of it hit his ankles at the right spot.  

He grabbed the blanket at the end of the couch, soon spreading it throughout his whole body as he lays himself down.

“Ah…he’s sick with the flu…haven’t you heard? There’s some large flu spreading out! Ick! Better be careful…it totally ,” he sighed, flipping a strand of hair. “There’s less customers and less money because of the flu…aish…”

“Where did you get this sickness?” I asked.

“It must’ve been from the campus…”

“I thought you were just a writer. Why do you need to go to a campus?”

“People can have double jobs you know…”

“Oh right…” I said.

 “…”

“Did you wash your hands before eating?” I asked abruptly.

“Of course…do you think I’m stupid…”

“No…but you still managed to get the flu…”

“Aish…I’ll give you a flu if you continue to pester me…turn off the lights…” he groaned as he squints at the ceiling.  

“Oh…right!” I exclaimed, darting towards the light switch. The amber shade of the lamp glowed within the darkness, changing the atmosphere completely. 

“Yunho.”

“Yeah?”

“Can… you get me my voice recorder?”

“Where is it?”

“In…in my jean pocket…”

“Uh…sure…” I said, walking over to the folded pile of Jaejoong’s clothes lying on the ground.

I crouched down, digging hands through his jeans. A rectangular object makes its way into my grasp. The wire of the headphones dangled within the air as I pull it in my sight.

 “Here,” I said.

“Thanks,” he said, extending his arm as he sizes it away from me.

The tension creasing his face disappeared within seconds as he puts the headphones both in his ears. Like a mother, I watched him close his eyes as he puts his worries behind him. He held the recorder to his chest, eager to not let it slip away.

“Good night,” I whispered.

“Don’t go,” he mumbled.

“I thought you were sleeping,” I gasped, halting my journey to the room. “You scared me.”

“Stay here until I fall asleep…”

“Why do…”

“Just do it…” he pleaded.

“Aish! Fine!” I exclaimed. “Why do I have to be with you at all times?” I asked.

“Because you owe me…”

“…”

“Anyways, turn on the T.V,” he ordered.

What was I? His maid?

I obeyed his orders like a dog and grabbed the remote. Soon, the T.V flickered to life, exhibiting two people on the screen. From a small distance, I could hear the pace of Jaejoong’s breathing as I sat on the ground.

To my surprise, the puzzle in front of me was beginning to take form of a tree as its branches displayed itself against the plain, cardboard.

“What? My daughter Geum Sa Wol already ended?” I asked, raising a brow. The intro of the usual night time drama took a dramatic change, which showed a different set of actors and background music.

“I didn’t know you liked to watch makjang,” Jaejoong said from behind me.

“It’s my guilty pleasure,” I replied.

The title of the drama flashes on the screen, taking me by surprise.

The One You Loved

“Oh! Isn’t it that cellphone novel? I forgot it was going to be a drama…that author is so good…Jaejoong, did you read that?”

“Wow, Jung…you never fail to surprise me…I always assumed you were the type to read basketball manwha’s…not read romantic novels…”

Aish. I speak too much when I get excited.

“Well…um…” I said, scratching my head.

“You don’t have to be ashamed…since I read them too…”

“Really?!” I asked, raising my voice. “Are you reading the author’s newest installment…the Drive to Our Love?”

“Oh…um…well,” he said, his voice faltering. “I read it…”

“What did you think of it?”

“Well, it has a lot of hidden messages, don’t you think?”

“A lot…”

“What do you feel when you read it?” he asked.

“Well,” I said. “It’s weird. Somehow, the stuff the person