“It’s been quite long that I wanna be your friend, at least” He adds, when I don’t say anything instead staring sharply over him. His eyes focus on my bare face in high hope.

The words ‘I like you’ frequently make me sick nowadays. I know they never meant it in the way I used to believe before. Now, I decided to never take them seriously. I know there’s hiding reason behind it. I just can’t understand, why don’t they blunt with me? I mean, about wanting my sister.

Is that fun using me? Do they know I am a person too? A person who deserves to be loved. But my bad, of course, they don’t because they only see my sister.

I have an argue to say ‘No’ but instead I roll up my eyes in front of him “Whatever”

“Wait, I really mean it” He panics when I turn back my head, ignoring his demand. I open the door and ready to dash out of the room. He pulls the hem of my shirt from my back, I’m speechless.

I turn over him again and quickly he let go of them as drag his hand back to him “Er, Sorry I didn’t mean that” He apologizes, biting his bottom lip. His lips is thick and y and what the hell am I thinking. I cursed myself for almost losing control again. Why all of the men who are trying to hit on me are hot?

I shut my mouth immediately when it was apart a second ago. I don’t like when he begs like this. Why he is so desperate?

“Ok” I finally said, just to escape from him. I think I will play along with him until he gives up and leave me like others but this time is different. I won’t give in for real. I don’t want make myself look stupid ever again.

“I take that as yes” He says.

Yes? I’m not sure what does that supposed to mean. Yes for being his friend? Yes for accepting him? Yes for giving him a chance? I don’t want to know. I will just leave it to him. He can think whatever he wants as long as he doesn’t cross the line.

He smiles with full of satisfied. I give him a weird glance and walk out from the place when the bell ring right away.

Great, I’ve missed my lunch time.

I head to the block where placed my real classroom and pull out my phone. Luckily they didn’t drop when he lifted me a while ago. I swipe to unlock and noticing I got a massage from Soyeong. I tap the open button.

Soyeong: Where r u? r u ok?

I tsk loudly as I read them.

Me: Stop pretending, I know u were laughing too

Soyeong: OMG Hana, that was HILARIOUS I can’t help it. Mian. Hehe

Me: U r not my friend anymore!

I throw my phone on the table once I got in my classroom and grunt in irritation. For a second, another beep coming out from my phone again. I take them in my hand.

Soyeong: Oh come on, Hana. U luv me and u know it. Look at the door.

I quickly glance over the door and to be greeted by Soyeong’s face and she is waving the roll of Kimbab in her hand over me and I know I will love her more. My stomach let out a grumpy sound to be filled. I get up and walk down to the door.

“See? You love me, right” She said as soon as I approached her. I ignore her and snatch the meal from her hand. She grins then handing me a bottle of water.

I take them “Thanks”

“Anyway” She moves aside to let my classmates get in the room. “Who was that boy? He is cute” She says, adjusting her big circle glasses. I noticed those glasses quite popular now, which being trending among of people.

I just shrug “Don’t know”

She doesn’t say anything afterward, probably don’t want to push me. I love how she respects me. She does know I have this problem where the boys in our school are starting to get interested in me and how I have entire attention after my relationship with my sister been revealed. She was being there when I’ve been breakdown for long enough after finding out my first boyfriend has been lied to me that he wanted my sister and had used me for it.

“I need to go now” She state, glancing down the watch in her wrist. We in different classes which sadly separated both of us.

“Ok, see you later” I says as watching her walk away.

….

It’s late evening when I step in to the kitchen room and saw my mom is preparing meals for our dinner tonight. My father has not come back yet from work and there’s only both of us. I Jump up into the chair and watch my mom across the counter in a sigh.

It’s not that loud but it seems like she was hearing them when she turns around, looking at my bitter face.

“Hey, honey. How was your school?”

I take a carrot in my hands then play them quietly “Not that good” I blunt.

She raises her eyebrow for a second before turning back “What happened?”

A sigh left my mouth again “I embarrassed myself again” I slam my head down, remembering the moment I tripped in front of students. It was horrible moment ever that I hate myself more.

“And embarrassed me too as well” a voice appears behind us. It’s sound annoying.

I don’t need to look at the person. By the voice I could tell she is my sister. I bet she just arrived from hang out with her friends. She always like that, after school she never straight goes home instead goes somewhere enjoy herself, rather spending her time with her friends more than me. I remember once we used to play together but now is different. We are more like doing our own stuffs.

“Can you stop doing silly stuff?” My sister sits beside me, putting her bag on top of the counter.

“It’s not like I want that to happen though” I say, lifting my head up but don’t look at her face. She grunts from her seat.

“Of course you don’t but, at least be careful or what. People were making fun about us, you know.” She is trying to sound concern but what I only see she’s being full of herself.

“I don’t know what’s your problem, Unnie. I told you, it was just happened” My tone turns hard and I hate she keeps pushing me and put all blames on me. I can sense she is regret for revealing our siblings relationship. As she knows, I more hate with that and glad if she really regrets it.

“Girls, calm down” My mom interrupted when the atmosphere become tense all of sudden. I can’t bear anymore. I might throw my tantrum over her and it would get worse than I thought. I hop down the chair, walking upstairs in huff. I think silent is better.

Once I in my bedroom, I climb the bed  then lay on my back before pulling up the cover until reach my chin. I blink my tears as I stare up at the white ceilings. I stay like that about ten minutes before I hear a twice knocks from my bedroom door.

I don’t answer them when the door crack open by the person. Minjae Unnie’s head pops out through the door, peeking inside.

“Hana?”

Silent. I shut my eyes. I hear her footstep over the floor, approaching me slowly. For a second, I can feel the weight at the end of my bed.

“I’m sorry about a while ago” She apologized, I can tell she is sincere through her tone.

“Did Omma asked you?” I ask, without opening my eyes.

“Yeah” She pauses, her voice low “It’s her job, right?”

I slightly smile, yeah, mom always wants the best for her children.

I playfully open only one eye and to be greeted by her soft face with amusing smile. It makes myself warm again as an anger cold down completely.

Told you, I can’t hate my sister.

….

The next day in the morning, I head off to my classroom with Soyeong and at the corridor I saw the boy from yesterday. He is talking with his friends, smiling wide over the joke they are making now. His gray bag hanging onto his left shoulder as he leans manly his back on the wall. His black hair pulled up and showing his forehead.

Me and soyeong walk past the group of him. I thought he didn’t notice me but I’m wrong. He stops talking and secretly glances at me. I try to make myself busy chatting with Soyeong  and when I look at him for one more, I saw he waves at me with those smiles again. His eyes sink into it.

I turn away, pretending that’s not for me.

What I have set in my mind already;

Don't trust any man anymore.

Bap are in Hawaii now! They are starting film 'One fine day'.. I can't wait to watch that! I can sense their awkwardness.. hehe