Jungkook and Yoongi were both sitting on the curb, but they were quite a distance away from each other. Jungkook was pretty pissed off at him for telling Jimin about his crush on Taehyung. The only reason he had never told the older boy was that he was afraid that the small brunet would blab his mouth off to Taehyung. 

You can never trust little elves.

Jimin and Taehyung were playing Go Fish when the older boy sneezed.

Taehyung looked at him.

"Are you okay, Chimchim? You're not getting a cold, right?"

Jimin twitched his nose a few times before sniffling. He rubbed the back of his hand against his nose and stared at it in disgust.

"I don't think so. That was so weird."

Now Jungkook was grumbling about his leaked 'secret' to himself, hoping that someone would come along and suddenly miraculously understand what his predicament was and solve it for him.

But no one would.

Because Jungkook is alone in this world.

And this trip to the amusement park was the day he realized that he could never be happy.

Yoongi was staring at Jungkook who had his head basically buried in his crotch. He didn't know what the kid was doing, but he really hoped that his mother would show up soon and pull his head out of his because wow, Yoongi did not need to know that Jungkook was that flexible.

He shook his head. That wasn't the point right now.

To be honest, there wasn't really any point right now. The two of them were just patiently waiting for the younger's mother to show up so that they could both go home.

Hopefully, she would be nice enough to let Jungkook crash at their place for a few hours because he was definitely not in the mood to try to talk to his mom. Great person, he wouldn't deny that, but she was also... well... he didn't know exactly how to put it...

She was kind of... crazy.

Yeah.

That's really the best word that he has to describe the woman who gave birth to him.

I guess in turn that makes his somewhat crazy, but he already knew that. Min Yoongi was not the most normal kid on the block, no way.

Not with the things he used to do as a kid.

He was well aware of the fact that he was by no means 'normal', but now that his friends were people like Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook, he thought that he was probably one of the most normal ones here. 

Even Namjoon and Seokjin had questionable sanities.

Yoongi shook his head again before he dragged his hands over his face. He needed to focus right now. He had to make sure that Jungkook didn't up and kill himself somewhere, somehow without him knowing. He needed to be watching over the kid at all times so that he didn't get hurt because god knows what Taehyung would do to him. He wouldn't be conscious enough to even tell the kid's parents that he lost Jungkook.

Looking to his left, Yoongi was delighted to see that Jungkook wasn't there. That meant that he didn't have to go look for the kid-

.

Goddamnit.

.

Yoongi ran through the list of all the swear words he knew while he stood up, looking around the entire vicinity for the child that he had just lost. He thought of everything that could have happened. Maybe Jungkook's mother had shown up and taken him (though that was highly unlikely since the kid would have at least said goodbye (he hoped)), maybe Jungkook had taken a stroll and he was actually back at the gates right now, maybe he had been taken by some strange guy who was really into little ki-

okay

literally

no

Yoongi didn't even want to go there.

He sighed and stood in front of a trash can. He really didn't want to stick his head in there. He didn't even want to think that it was a possibility that Jungkook was down there. He just wanted to pretend that he didn't even know who Jungkook was, that when his mother showed up he would somehow manage to convince her that he was her son, not some kid named Jeon Jungkook. Then he would go home and live with the Jeon family forever. He'd fool everyone, and his real parents wouldn't even care because at least they don't have to pay for him anymore.

Yeah, that was a really solid plan he had built up there. There was only one problem. How was he going to manage to fool Jungkook's family?

And if he didn't fool them, how the hell was he supposed to explain that he lost their kid?

Just as Yoongi was about to finally let go of his pride and shove his body inside the trash can to find Jungkook, the said blond boy dropped down from the tree above him, letting out some sort of battle cry and pinned Yoongi to the ground.

"DIE!"

"WHAT THE FUC-"

"I SAW YOU EYEING MY CROTCH LIKE SOME ERT! DIE! DIE! DIE, MIN YOONGI."

Jungkook started hitting the top of Yoongi's head, seconds away from biting down on the older's ear. Instead of doing that, however, Yoongi started hitting his thighs, extremely pissed off.

"GET THE OFF OF ME, YOU RABBIT MONKEY THING. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

He managed to throw Jungkook off of him, flipping over so that his back was on the ground. He stared at Jungkook with a crazy look in his eyes, not sure exactly what the just happened. Jungkook breathed really hard, his chest rising up and down as he glared at Yoongi. He articulated his lips, making sure that the older boy could see his words clearly, barely breathing them out.

"You ert."

Yoongi's eyes literally fluttered, not wanting to look at Jungkook anymore. He attempted to lift himself off of the ground, and after a solid three seconds decided that the ground was a pretty nice place to stay and take a nap on. He was about to fall asleep when he felt like someone was watching him and he barely opened his eyes and turned his head, only to be met with Jungkook millimeters away from him.

"JESUS . HELLO THERE, JUNGKOOK."

Jungkook took his bottom lip into his mouth, chewing on it while he slowly narrowed his eyes.

"Min Yoongi."

The mint green haired boy threw his hands into the air (mind you, he was still on the ground so he basically just threw them in front of himself) and all but screamed, "what the hell did I do wrong now?"

Jungkook shook his head and pulled the older boy up with some effort. After Yoongi was now in a sitting position, he scrunched his nose up.

"What is it now, kid?"

"I should really start working out."

"You're twelve."

"Meh. That's almost thirteen. And thirteen is almost fourteen. And fourteen is almost fifteen. If we're being honest here, I'm almost 27. Goddamn, Yoongi, you're almost 50. Scratch that, you already are 50."

The boy seemed astonished by this, but Yoongi just shrugged. He really was basically 50 and he knew it.

After the two argued about pretty much nothing for a while more, a small, white car pulled up next to them and Jungkook had stood up. His mother had pulled up right in front of them and she did not look very pleased.

"Hi, mom-"

"You're not passed out."

Jungkook and Yoongi shared a look, confused.

"Umm, yeah, you're right. I woke up a few minutes ago. No more being drugged or anything. I'm back to being your normal kid."

Jungkook threw his hands out at the end of his sentence, lifting up the corners of his lips in an attempt at being 'normal'. His mother wasn't taking it, though.

"This isn't what Taehyung told me. Why aren't you passed out? I don't understand, this doesn't match up. Couldn't you have at least pretended to be passed out so that your dear mother wouldn't have to be confused like this? Jungkook, what sort of child are you to put your mother through this stress? I came here to pick up an unconscious twelve year old who can't protect himself from drugs, and that is very much not what I got. You have no idea how displeased I am right now. I was told to pick up a comatose child of my lineage and this is not what I received. Who do you think you are? Yoongi, dear, I love the new hair. Jungkook, please, do me a favour and just pretend to be half-dead?'

There was such a large cacophony of words that Jungkook wasn't really sure what just happened.

"Wait. You want me to pretend to be dead? What?"

His mother rolled her eyes as if it were the most simple thing in the entire world.

"Yes, Jungkook. That's exactly what I said. Now if you could go along and just, pretend to be dead or something, that'd be perfect, alright, sweetie?"

The blond's mouth opened and closed a few times before he slowly sat down on the ground. He looked at Yoongi who just shrugged his shoulders again (he didn't really want to live at the Jeon household anymore) and continued sitting. He stared at his mom and she lifted an eyebrow, and he very confusedly lay onto the sidewalk, people avoiding walking within a thirty meter radius of any of them.

Jungkook lay still, eyes closed and hands clasped together on the top of his chest. He let out a shaky breath, hoping that his mother wasn't going to make his hold his breath the entire trip home. Soon, he heard the sound of a car door closing and some whispering before he was suddenly lifted up and off the ground. His eyes shot open and he threw his hands out to steady himself, letting out a sound.

"Whoa-"

Yoongi stopped to lay him on his knee before slapping his forehead and then continued to carry him towards the car.

"Ow, what the he-"

He was hit again, Yoongi having to stop and start once more.

"Jungkook, you're supposed to be unconscious. Unconscious people don't make noises. Or open their eyes. Be a good unconscious body now, okay?"

This conversation was all sorts of wrong.

But Jungkook complied anyway and let himself be carried to the car where he was thrown placed into the back seats. He wasn't really sure about what happened next, but he fell asleep to hearing his mother and Yoongi talking and laughing about whatever she was obsessed with these days.

When they got back to Jungkook's house, the blond boy was surprised to find Taehyung and Jimin sitting on his couch, the latter paying on Jungkook's PS4 and not caring any less about Jungkook's condition, the former all but biting his entire hand off from the urgent way he was chewing on his nails.

"Uhh, hey guys- okay hello-"

"JUNGKOOKIE!"

Taehyung had jumped on him in the middle of his sentence sending both of them to the ground.

The blond boy just sighed, expecting so much.

"Taehyung. Please get off of me."

"HA! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID."

"Jimin, that wasn't even a real joke. Stop. Can you just- oh my god. I don't even know why I'm trying to reason with you. You're Park Jimin, after all. I hate you."

Jimin crawled towards him, ignoring the man still lying on top of Jungkook and cooed at him.

"Aww, Jungkookie, you know me so well- wait a minute. Wait a ing minute. Jeon Jungkook."

The man in question got scared.

"What the did I do. Oh my god. Did I kill someone? Oh my god, Jimin, what did I do, tell me right now."

"JEON JUNGKOOK. NO YOU DID NOT."

"OH MY GOD, JIMIN, WHAT DID I DO."

"You know, Jimin, it's not nice to leave the kid hanging like that."

Yoongi sat on the couch, watching all of them freak out (because seeing Jungkook trying to act frantic with Taehyung suffocating him was funny) while he ate some of the food that was very much not set out for him.

But hey, free food.

When does anyone not accept free food?

"JIMIN. WHAT. THE. HELL. DID. I. DO."

"YOU ING DYED YOUR HAIR BLOND YOU PIECE OF . YOU GODDAMN PRICK. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME- ING HELL! TAEHYUNG GODDAMNIT-"

"WHAT?"

Taehyung had flung his head up and hit Jimin square in the jaw. This was news to his ears. He couldn't believe it. Jungkook's hair was not black, it was not brown, hell, it wasn't even some weird colour like orange, no, it was ing blond. 

"JEON JUNGKOOK."

"Jesus Christ almighty can you guys not."

But they did.

And Jungkook internally cried the entire time.

Yoongi just stayed sitting on the couch, enjoying seeing Jungkook suffer the entire time, but also wanting to cripple in on himself because Jimin was paying more attention to the boy's new hair colour than his own. He mumbled to himself as he turned away, violently stabbing a piece of melon with a toothpick.

"It's just blond. My hair was blond. Now it's green and no one seems to give one single ."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Yoongi stuffed the melon into his face, chewing angrily. Then, a hand threaded its way into his hair, sending shivers down his spine.

"I like you new hair colour, Yoongi. It really suits you."

Jimin looked at him and smiled, eyes crinkling and disappearing. Yoongi turned away from the boy and cleared his throat, making sure that Jimin couldn't see how red his face was.

"Oh. Thanks, Jimin."

a/n: there's been waaaaaaaay too much mentioning of ia in this story and i don't even know how that happened what am i turning this story into

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