No one is saying a word in the car, when they are on their way back home tonight. Taeyang is only focusing on the road driving home, Daesung is just keeps his silent while looking out the window in the passenger seat beside Taeyang, and their silent maknae who is sitting behind and also looking out at the window on his left side. They are not talking with each other since they entered the car. Everyone is deep in thoughts and no one is able to open their mouth. Tonight, the three of them will sleep at home while Jiyong is taking his turn to take care of Seunghyun in the hospital. They left when Seunghyun is already sleeping. Seungri almost didn’t want to go home just now but after Daesung persuades him softly, he finally agreed. Sobbing sounds suddenly filling the car. Daesung is being pull back to the reality from his thoughts and Taeyang raised his eyebrows at that sudden sobbing sounds. He adjusts the car’s back mirror to look at behind him. Daesung turns around in his seat to have a look at the source of that sounds. They see their maknae is crying in silent while looking down at his trembling hands but the sobbing sounds slowly turns into a loud cry. Their maknae is crying his heart out. Daesung turns to Taeyang with a sad expression but Taeyang just continues his driving, not saying anything. He just let his maknae cries as much as he wants and Daesung does the same. He just let his maknae cries his heart out without saying anything. Daesung is back looking out at his window. He throws an empty look at those buildings that they passed by. He pushes one button at the car’s door and his window moves down. Daesung lets the wind from outside touch his face and he still can hears his maknae cries even there are sounds from the outside.

 

No one can describe how deep this wound is… By the time we finally can have Seunghyun hyung with us, by the time we finally can have Taeyang hyung back, God decided to take this happiness away from us. By the time we finally can see Seunghyun hyung around the house, cooking, watching television, even playing game in the our game room, lying down on the couch in the living room and even sleep with him in his room, now, he wants to leave. How unfair is life to us. When we couldn’t get to save omma before, we worked so hard thinking, if something like that happen again in future, we can do something about it but now? It is still the same. We still can’t even get to save our big hyung. We are facing the same damn thing. Why this thing happened to our family? When we finally can have meals together, playing together, and joking around together, someone is actually leaving. How cruel…

 

Taeyang finally park the car in their lawn and Seungri is still crying behind and his cries might not be as loud as before but he is still crying. Taeyang and Daesung get down from the car and Seungri finally opens his door and immediately get down from the car just to run to their house door. He presses the password in speed and once he opens the door, he immediately walks in leaving his two hyungs behind. Taeyang and Daesung do not say anything and just walk together to the door. Taeyang presses the passwords and walks in followed by Daesung. Seungri is nowhere to be found. Taeyang walks lazily to their dining table in the kitchen, throwing the car key on it and pulls out the chair to sit on it. He let out a heavy sighs as soon as he leans on the chair. He sees Daesung is straight away going upstairs, maybe heading to his room. Everyone should be left alone tonight.

 

Taeyang looks around him and for the first time, everything looks so empty to him. Their big kitchen. He imagined Seunghyun is walking around in the kitchen like he usually did before. Cooking. Cutting something on their island kitchen. Washing something at the sink. Cook rice. Wipe the cabinets. But slowly his imagination fades away and now there is only an empty kitchen in his sight. There is no Seunghyun hyung walking around.

 

Taeyang then turn his head to his left, looking at their living room. He imagines Seunghyun is walking around to search for the remote control. Lying down on the couch. Sitting on on the couch while reading a book. But again slowly his imagination fades away and now there is only an empty living room in his sight. There is no Seunghyun hyung walking around.

 

Taeyang finally gets up from the chair as he can feels that he can go crazy if he continues to sit there and imagining things. He slowly walks to the stairs and climb it weakly. Once he reaches upstairs, he stops when his eyes landed on his hyung’s room at the end of the hallway. He can sees his Seunghyun hyung comes out from the room while wearing his office attire and carrying his briefcase as usual and looks like he is late to work but when the figure is coming nearer to Taeyang, it slowly fades away. There is no Seunghyun hyung. His door’s room remains close. Taeyang takes a deep breath and he starts to walk and he is slowly walking to the room. He slowly touches the door’s knob and turns it till a click sound comes. He then pushes the door and he can see the room is dark. No light.

 

He walks in slowly and with his instinct and with his memory before, he walks carefully to the side table beside Seunghyun’s bed. There he found a remote control, he presses a button and in a second, the room’s light is . Taeyang looks around the room properly for the first time. This is the second time he entered this room. His mind flies to the first time he walked in here. Sigh. What an awful memory was that.

 

"I'm sorry…"

 

“Hyung is sorry, Taeyang-ah…. Hyung is so sorry…”

 

“Forgive hyung, Taeyang-ah… Forgive me.. It was my fault. It was hyung’s fault from the very beginning. Hyung did things behind you, hyung tried to destroy your dream, hyung tried to stop you, hyung did many things just to stop you from pursuing your dream. It was my fault, Taeyang-ah…. Hyung is so sorry… It was hyung’s fault Taeyang-ah…. I’m sorry… Hyung hurt your feelings last time. I know you were hurt because of me. Hyung made you left the house. I’m sorry, Taeyang-ah… I’m so sorry….”

 

“Hyung is sorry, Taeyang-ah… I’m so sorry… Hyung let you go,”

 

If we can turn back the time hyung, where we will be right now? Are we going to end up like this too? If only we can turn back the time, are we still going to lose you?

Taeyang’s eyes finally stop on one thing that safely leans on the wall beside his hyung’s wooden table. His broken guitar.

 

“No words can describe on how much hyung miss you… Hyung only have your broken guitar with me and nothing else,”

 

Taeyang walks to the guitar and he slowly get down on the floor and sits on it, in front of the broken guitar. He stares at the guitar in silent as he slowly moves his right hand to touch the guitar. From the tuning part, his hand softly moving down on the string that is now only has two strings left while the rest is torn off. He caressed the guitar softly while his lips drawing out a small smile. He closed his eyes at that memory.

 

Flashback

“Hyung…” Taeyang said as he hugs his knees, squatting beside his hyung who is sitting on the floor in front of the shoe racks which is located right at the door of their apartment. Their old house.

 

“Hmmm…” Seunghyun answered while he is too focus in his job, lacing Daesung’s new school shoes. Everyone is already falls asleep and now left Taeyang and Seunghyun who are still wide awake in the house.

 

“You bought new shoes for Daesung and Seungri…” Taeyang said as he watches his hyung lacing the shoe laces.

 

“Hmmm…” Seunghyun replied shortly.

 

“I would like to apply for a loan, hyung…”

 

Those words make Seunghyun lifts up his head and stares at his dongsaeng with questioning look. Right when he wants to open his mouth, Taeyang beats him.

 

“From you…” Taeyang said with his big grin on his face and that grins makes his eyes become smaller till Seunghyun is not sure whether his dongsaeng is closing his eyes or not.

 

“A loan?? From me??” Seunghyun asked.

 

“Yeah….”

 

“Why???”

 

“I have my own money hyung but…. Heh.. It is not enough…” Taeyang said as he looks down on the floor. He can’t stand his hyung stares on him.

 

“You want to buy something?”

 

Taeyang nods his head but still not looking at his hyung.

 

“What do you want to buy?”

 

“Errr… Ahh~ hyung~~!”

 

“If you are not telling me what you want to buy, then it is a no…” Seunghyun said as he continues his doing on the shoes.

 

“Hmmm…”

 

“Tell me faster… I’m almost finish over here…”

 

“A guitar…” Taeyang finally said it out and he wincing when he said that.

 

Seunghyun stops midway and he looks at his dongsaeng who is not looking at him. He knows Taeyang loves music like crazy.

 

“Do you know how to play guitar??” Seunghyun asked.

 

Taeyang finally lifts up his head and nods.

 

“Where did you learn how to play it?"

 

“I used my friend’s guitar…”

 

Seunghyun just nods his head slightly and he looks back on the shoes, without saying anything. He finishes his job and then he put Daesung shoes beside Seungri’s shoes on the rack. He gets up from the floor.

 

“Hyung, I will pay you back, I promise…. I want to bring it to college…” Taeyang said immediately as he gets up from his position as well. His hyung is not saying anything.

 

“Let’s see first,” Seunghyun answered shortly without looking at his dongsaeng at all and he just leave Taeyang behind and heading to his bedroom.

 

2 weeks later

“HYUNG!!!! HYUNG!!! Come here faster….” Jiyong said excitedly to Taeyang once Taeyang entered their apartment, as he just comes back from college.

 

“What???” Taeyang asked with his annoyed face at Jiyong.

 

Once Taeyang takes off his shoes, Jiyong ends up pulling him and brings him to his bedroom. His bedroom is wide open and Taeyang just wants to scream at Jiyong to scold him because intruding his bedroom without permission but he can’t even get to do that when his eyes landed on something on his bed. Daesung and Seungri are sitting on the bed beside that thing and they are grinning at him happily at the same time.

 

There on his bed, a new guitar.

 

Taeyang puts down his bag at his room’s door and walks into his bedroom while his eyes are fix solely on that new guitar. He smiles widely at it. This is the guitar that he wanted before. This is obviously must be from his hyung. That man!

 

“Play us a song, hyung!” Seungri said in excitement.

 

Taeyang chuckles at that request and he takes a deep breath and slowly takes the guitar carefully. He brings it on his thighs as he sits on the bed. Jiyong sits on the floor in front of him, waiting for him to play a song for them. Taeyang adjust the tunes first before he plays certain random rhythm to test the sound of it.

 

“Wuuuu~~~” Jiyong said mockingly.

 

“Shut up…” Taeyang replied. Daesung and Seungri take their places besides Taeyang, which Daesung is on his left while Seungri is on his right side.

 

Taeyang finally starts to play a song and his dongsaengs finally clap their hands in joy.

 

Taeyang opens his eyes and he looks at the guitar that is now broken and old. A tear falls from his eyes as he slowly takes the guitar and brings it to his arms. He caresses the guitar softly and he lost count on how many songs that he played while using that guitar. There are so many happy memories that came together with this guitar and Taeyang is mad at himself, cursing himself on just how could he break it at the first place. Seunghyun hyung must hurt so much that time.

 

“Hyung…”

 

Taeyang turns around when a voice comes in and he sees Seungri is standing at the door, looking at him with tears stained on his face. His maknae’s eyes swollen like hell. Seungri moves to him and his eyes landed on the broken guitar that Taeyang holds. Seungri moves down and squats beside Taeyang with his eyes still on the guitar.

 

“Play me a song…” Seungri said slowly with his now hoarse voice.

 

Taeyang looks at his maknae sadly.

 

“This guitar is out of tune and broken, Seungri… Hyung can’t play any song with it anymore…” Taeyang answered softly.

 

Seungri gives him his sad face now.

 

“Exactly like us…” Seungri said.

 

Taeyang wrinkles at those words.

 

“No matter how much we try… Still… There is nothing that we can do to save him… Am I right?” Seungri asked while tears again are forming in his eyes.

 

Ahhh… That hurts… That was really hurts… How come this boy can say something that sad?

 

“Seungri-ahh…”

 

Seungri shakes his head.

 

“How could he never ask me even one thing in his whole life and right when he finally wants to ask something, it must have to be his death!!” Seungri said angrily as another tears fall from his eyes.

 

Taeyang can’t help but to pulls his maknae to his embrace and he can’t bear to look into Seungri sad eyes anymore. This boy had enough… He has been crying so much and Taeyang is running out of words to comfort him and now he can’t do anything other than to let his maknae to cry as much as he wants.

 

“How could him, hyung!! How could him!!” Seungri said in his hyung’s embrace. His eldest hyung was too much. “He gives up hyung! He is freaking giving up!! He promised to me before that he won’t leave that easy and now how could he asked me to let him go… How can I let him go, hyung!! How can I let him go… I can’t…” Seungri said in tears.

 

Taeyang pats his maknae’s back and he just listens to Seungri’s words. Now he knows that Seunghyun already talked to Seungri. Sigh.

 

Their hyung is really saying his goodbye.

 

***********************************************************************************************************************

 

“Look at him Ji… Look at him properly now… He is tired for god sake… He is so tired… Can you stand looking at him that way??? Take a look at him properly after this... Holds his hand… Looks at his body… He can’t even eat properly Ji… He can’t even stand… He can’t even talk so much… He will fall asleep when we talk… He will just keep quiet when we joke around… He will just stares at us when we feed him, wipe him… Please… This time… Just be rational on this, for once…”

 

Taeyang’s words are keeping on lingering in his mind and Jiyong can’t help but to stares at his hyung who is sleeping right now. He falls asleep too easily lately. Jiyong is sitting on Taeyang’s usual chair and he moves forward a bit towards the bed as his eyes slowly moves to his hyung’s hand. Jiyong takes the hand slowly in his carefully as to avoid the heart monitor’s wire that is being clipped to his hyung’s index finger. He carefully takes a proper look on his hyung’s hand and as he touches it, he can feel how rough his hyung’s hand is. Jiyong slowly turns his hyung’s hand to have a look at his palm. Rough. Just how hard his hyung been working in his whole life. Jiyong smile bitterly as he looks at his hyung’s palm and then he lifts up his head to looks at his hyung’s face. Pale. Too thin. Jiyong can sees how hard his hyung is making an effort just to breath. His hyung can’t breathe normally anymore even by using that oxygen tube. Jiyong observes how his hyung’s chest is moving up and down as he breathing deeply. Jiyong looks back at Seunhyun’s face.

 

“Are you tired hyung?” Jiyong asked and he knows that Seunghyun won’t answer his question. His hyung is in deep sleep.

 

“Are you that tired? Hmm? It must be so hard on you, isn’t it? Did you remember hyung, when I first found out about your illness? I’ve gone mad… I’ve gone really mad that day… When I found your medical report, my whole world crumbles hyung… Everything seems so dark. I was lost… I asked myself many times on how can you hide things this big from me for years… I asked myself… Did I not taking care of you properly?? I was by your side the whole time hyung, but never once I notice anything odd on you… Never once you tell me anything about you… You always asked about dongsaengs every day, but you never once tell me anything about yourself… You kept a lot from us hyung… A lot…” Jiyong said as he slowly brings his hyung’s hand to his cheek.

 

“Even if our family has broken long before hyung, we still have you with us… So, tell me hyung, how can we let you go… We still can’t get enough of you and now this? Did you know how happy I was when you are slowly changing?? From that cold and quiet person to a warm one… It surprises me on how you actually capable of nagging at us everyday… When Daesung woke up so late… When Seungri caused any mess… When I always sneaked out from work… How I miss your nag hyung…”

 

“Do you really want to leave us?” Jiyong choked in tears as he speaks. “Do you really want to leave us that bad?? Hyung… I miss you… I miss you so much even when you are still here in front of me, I still miss you like crazy… Just imagine if you leave us, what are we going to do???” Jiyong said and he then kisses Seunghyun’s hand with tears rolling on his cheeks.

 

“I want you to stay, hyung… I really do… I want you to stay… But…” Jiyong couldn’t finish his words as he choked in more tears because he hates the things that he wants to say. “But… if you are so tired in holding on….” Jiyong is stuck in his words. He bites his lips so hard to control his crying sounds as to not waking his hyung. “You can let go, hyung…. You can let go…. I promise I will take a very good care of the family… I will stay strong for all of us… I will make sure Daesung and Seungri achieves whatever they want hyung… I’ll continue your project on Taeyang hyung… I will make sure everything is according to our plan, our dream… I will take care of our company, our staffs… I will protect everyone’s rights just like what you wanted… No one can touch us hyung… I promise… So, don’t worry hyung… You have done so much for us, and if you want to rest, you can let go… For you… I’ll let you go… I will let go…” Jiyong said as he cries harder…

 

 

Unknown to him, a tear is falling from Seunghyun’s eyes.

 

***********************************************************************************************************************

 

It was a bright and sunny morning. White, fluffy clouds drifted across the sky. Seunghyun opens his eyes slowly, trying to adjust with the brightness that comes from the window. He starts to stir in his sleep before when he feels someone is doing something on him. Right when he manages to opens his eyes and get used with the brightness, he looks at his left side and there is a nurse beside him, changing his IV drip. That is the cheerful nurse from yesterday, and Seunghyun can’t help but to look around the room, tries to find one more nurse who always comes with the mask on her face but unfortunately, the nurse comes alone today.

 

“Good morning Seunghyun-sshi… Your dongsaeng is in the bathroom, he will come out shortly…” Ji Yeon said with a smile, as she finds Seunghyun’s eyes are roaming around like he is looking for someone.

 

Seunghyun just nods his head slightly and he just watches the nurse do her routine on him as usual.

 

“Where is…. the other one?” Seunghyun asked with difficulties.

 

“Who? The other nurse?” Ji Yeon asked in concerned.

 

Seunghyun nods his head weakly.

 

“Ohh… Hmm… She has other patient that she needs to attend to, so she can’t come with me today…” Ji Yeon answered with a smile.

 

“She’s…. not a nurse…” Seunghyun suddenly said it out.

 

Ji Yeon’s face changes and she looks at him as she heard that.

 

“I knew…” Seunghyun said as he looks at her too.

 

Ji Yeon doesn’t say anything in respond but just looks away, continuing her job. She chooses not to say anything right now. She notices that Seunghyun is also looking away towards the window without saying anything further. She does everything quietly without disturbing the man’s thoughts and when she’s finish with her job, she looks at him.

 

“Do you want to meet her?”

 

Seunghyun turns to her and he looks dumb founded at that sudden question. However he doesn’t answer her question right away, he stays in silent. Only God knows what is in his mind now.

 

“If you want to meet her, I can tell her…” Ji Yeon continues.

 

“Is she…. doing fine…. down there?” Seunghyun suddenly asked.

 

Ji Yeon sighs at that sudden question. She looks at him sadly and she slowly shaking her head.

 

“She’s a mess…” Ji Yeon answered. She will tell him the truth even it will hurt him.

 

Seunghyun looks away when he heard that. Guilt is the only thing that he feels right now. If only he can turn back the time… If only…

 

“Seunghyun-sshi…”

 

“I’ll come to her… I’ll come to her myself… You don’t need…. to tell her that…” Seunghyun said without looking back at Ji Yeon.

 

How can he go to her when he is in this kind of state?

 

“Seunghyun-sshi, I think…” she can’t get to finish her words when Seunghyun turns to her and cuts in.

 

“I will… I’m fine… Please…” Seunghyun said.

 

Ji Yeon sighs. You are right, Dr. Yoon… This man is not that easy to love.

 

“As your wish…” Ji Yeon said and then she takes her things and turns away, leaving the room.

 

Seunghyun stays in a long silent as his mind drifted to the day he left her. The day everything was crashing down, and how this selfishness that he started months ago is haunting him. Seunghyun has been dedicated his whole life for his family and never once he thinks about finding someone that he can loves throughout his life. The woman that he loves is only his mother, no one else. He did everything that he can to fix his family, providing home and giving comforts to all of his dongsaengs. The love to his family is the only love that he knows, till one day he met her. The one that never crosses his mind, that he will fall in love with.

 

I didn’t mean to fall in love with her but eventually, I did. From the very first time I talked to her casually in that café months ago, I knew there was something so “true” in this person sitting in front of me that I didn’t have to act like a higher class version of me. I could be true me. I never know any other love besides than the love towards my family, and I never believe or even once think that I will ever have someone that can be call as the love of my life, but then I met her…

 

She’s so perfect the way she is. How her smiles reaching her ears every time she talked to me… How her eyes are shining so bright at the sight of me… How she wrinkles at something that I annoyed her with… How she will stick out her tongue playfully at me… How her hair sometimes disturbing her eyes and then I will softly tack it behind her right ear, she would blushed… She will laughs even at the smallest things that I did… How she would still smiles at me even she was so tired after coming out from a long surgery… How as time goes by, she slowly changing, without her knowing, she kept mirroring my habit each day, like raising up her eyebrows, or even smirking like a boss. One thing that would never change when we were together was that, she would always run to me with a bright smile on her face at every time we met… Like a small girl, innocently she said “I ran so that the wait will be shorter and the meeting would be longer…” I will just smile at her words, keeping the hurt only to myself. I know this thing that we had together that time would end in heartbreaks, but the greed that I felt that time was beyond skies. I can’t help but wanting to meet her every day, texting her, calling her, but never once I tell her that I love her… I never once tell her on how incomplete I would feel if I didn’t her voice even for a day. I never once call her mine… We never have a name on what we had together that time. I never call her as my girlfriend and she never brings up anything about this too. Without I realized, she was actually following my pace and never once she complains about it. Like me, she just lived in the moment till that one fateful day. In a matter of a second, I just said “We need to end this…” “I don’t love you…”

 

I broke her heart…

 

The sounds of someone coming out from the bathroom, crashing Seunghyun’s thought. He turns to his left and he sees Jiyong in his casual shirts and jeans, walking to him with a small smile on his face, wiping his wet hair with his damp towel. He walks toward the bed and pulls the chair with him. He sits on it and looks at his hyung.

 

“Good morning hyung… The nurse already left?” Jiyong asked.

 

Seunghyun nods his head and suddenly he remembered what his dongsaeng said last night. Yes, he heard everything. Jiyong’s crying sound, his touched, his words and his promise. Seunghyun heard everything.

 

Seunghyun let out a small smile. “You are…. not working?” Seunghyun asked slowly.

 

Jiyong nods his head. “I took a leave but I will drop by at the office this evening to have a look at few things and come back here…”

 

Seunghyun just nods his head weakly and he then turns to the window on his right, looking up at the sky.

 

“The weather… is nice…” Seunghyun said.

 

Jiyong looks at outside, where his hyung is looking at. “Yeah… Nice..”

 

“Ji…”

 

“Yes, hyung…”

 

“Can you take hyung out?? To the garden…”

 

Jiyong looks at his hyung who is still looking out at the window.

 

“Hyung… I can’t do that… It’s not good for you…” Jiyong answered softly.

 

“Just for a while… It won’t take long…” Seunghyun said.

 

Jiyong sigh at Seunghyun’s words. He just can’t say no to his hyung and this fact hit him hard when he now understands Eun Hye’s feeling. The reason why she agreed to bring his hyung to Taeyang’s concert last time. She had done nothing but loving his hyung.

 

“Hyung…” Jiyong said.

 

“Hmm…”

 

“Do you want to meet her?” Jiyong asked carefully.

 

Seunghyun turns to his dongsaeng and he looks at him in silent.

 

“You know who I am talking about…” Jiyong continues.

 

Same question but from different person this time.

 

Jiyong pulls his chair closer to the bed with him and he slowly takes Seunghyun’s left hand in his and as he holds his hyung’s hand, he looks at Seunghyun.

 

“I will bring her to you…” Jiyong said softly to his hyung.

 

Seunghyun stares at his dongsaeng in the eyes.

 

“I will bring her to you, hyung… Let’s do that okay… Let’s meet her…” Jiyong continues. “I know you want to meet her so bad and I’m so sorry hyung for not letting you meet her before… When even you yourself gave me permission to be with Da Ra and you never once stop me from meeting her even you already know who she is, but I messed up everything that is yours, hyung... You want me to be happy with her but I ruined the whole thing… I even messed up your relationship hyung… I’m at wrong and I’m so sorry hyung.. I didn’t know that you are actually loves her so much and she is actually your girlfriend… I thought…” Jiyong can’t get to finish with his words when Seunghyun suddenly speaks.

 

“It was not because of you…” Seunghyun said calmly.

 

Jiyong’s face changes at those words.

 

“It was not because of you Ji… So stop apologizing… Even if you never asked me to stop meeting her, I would still end it… She was not my girlfriend and we never have any kind of relationship before…”

 

Jiyong’s eyes turn wide at that explanation. He looks in his hyung’s eyes to see whether what he told him just now was true but his hyung does not waver.

 

“Hyung…”

 

Seunghyun smiles at his dongsaeng. “But, it is true that hyung loves her…”

 

Jiyong looks confused and he can’t understand this. He will never get to read his hyung’s mind.

 

“Hyung loves her… But she was nothing more than just the act of my selfishness…” Seunghyun said. “Knowing my own life is numbered, and out of sudden greed, hyung did the most selfish thing in the world, and that is by falling for her… Despite of having so little time left with me, hyung did things that would usually did by a lover and eventually it made her fall for me… We went out together, ate together and even spent some times together without doing anything, but never once hyung tells her that hyung love her… But still… She stayed… Things were so complicated back then Ji… We were so complicated and even if you didn’t tell me to stop from meeting her, still hyung would end it… Let’s face the reality for once; hyung can’t be with her… Not in this kind of state… So, don’t feel guilty about it Ji, because you’ve done nothing wrong… We were just not meant for each other…. Not in this lifetime…” Seunghyun said with a bitter smile on his face.

 

There is nothing that Jiyong can say to his hyung. No words can heal that wound and no one can describe how sad it is when sometimes, two people met and fall in love but they were never meant to be together.

 

***********************************************************************************************************************

 

That teenage girl shivered a bit when the cold stethoscope touches her bare chest and Eun Hye is listening to her heart beating, moving the stethoscope around to listen from different angle while asking her patient to take deep breaths at each time she moves her stethoscope. When Eun Hye is finish with that, she peered into her patient’s eyes to check for any lingering damage from the car accident that her patient just suffered.

 

“Close your right eye,” Eun Hye instructed.

 

That teenage girl closed her right eye and Eun Hye held up two fingers.

 

“How many fingers am I holding up now?” Eun Hye asked.

 

“Two..”

 

“Open your right eye and close your left eye,”

 

The patient complied and Eun Hye held up three fingers.

 

“You are holding up three fingers…” droned the teenage girl, even before Eun Hye could ask her.

 

Eun Hye nodded and her patient reopened her eyes.

 

Next, Eun Hye peered into each of that girl’s ears, checking of any lingering signs of damage to her ear drum from the accident.

 

“K-Pop is hell…” Eun Hye whispered. “Repeat what I just said.”

 

The teenage girl pursed her lips to avoid laughing.

 

“K-Pop is hell…” she repeated in her shaken voice to control her laughs. There is one nurse beside Eun Hye burst out laughing at those words, throwing a funny look at Eun Hye who is not wavering even for a bit at her own joke and she always does this to her patient. Her aim is just to distract her patient’s attention from the pain that she suffered.

 

Eun Hye nods her head with satisfaction on her face and she then went over to the other ear.

 

“Big Bang Top is an …” Eun Hye whispered with a sheepish grin on her face. She wanted to see her patient’s reaction to what she said and at the same time.

 

That teenage girl can’t help but burst out laughing as Eun Hye finishes her lines. She looks at her doctor and Eun Hye just raised her eyebrows, wanting her patient to do what she supposes to do.

 

“Big Bang Top is an…… Ahh… Doctor, I can’t… He’s my bias…” that teenage girl said in disagreement as her smile ghosting her lips.

 

Eun Hye smiles even wider at her patient.

 

“Alright… I can see that your eyes and your ears are fine.” Eun Hye stated. “Now, let’s look at those wounds you suffered. It looks as though you suffered some damage to your spine. Stand up and bend down to touch your toes.”

 

Wordlessly, that girl stood up, then bent over to touch his toes as Eun Hye watched. As she bent down, she winced and faltered a bit but she can continue to bend.

 

“Looks like you’ve suffered a chipped vertebra. That will heal with time, but you must take things easy for quite a while before you resume with your work. Sit down again and we will take a look at your shoulders.

 

Eun Hye starts to examine her patient’s shoulder and she in breath at the depth and length of the wound. Without her knowing someone is watching her working from the very beginning from afar.

 

“If this wound scar incorrectly, you will lose 25% of your shoulder mobility. The only way to prevent that is to stitch them properly,” Eun Hye said to her patient and she looks down at her when she heard her gasp.

 

“It would hurt…” the girl said in scared.

 

Eun Hye smiles at her. “I will give you a painkiller and it won’t hurt you a bit…” Eun Hye said softly.

 

The girl reluctantly nodding her head and let Eun Hye do what she supposed to do. Upon seeing that, Eun Hye starts her job, as she asked the nurse to give the girl a painkiller before she pulls the trolley near to her. Once the girl already take her painkiller, Eun Hye then sponging the girl’s shoulder with a dark liquid to sterilize them, then she picks up the needle and thread from the trolley beside her. She realigned the sides of the wound together and began stitching. During the entire procedure, her patient just sat stiff and still on the bed in silent. The nurse beside her suddenly moves closer to her.

 

“Dr. Yoon, someone is here to see you… That sweet school boy…” the nurse said with a small laugh. Eun Hye turns to her nurse and her nurse shows her where the boy is waiting with her eyes. She followed her eyes direction and there she saw Seungri in his school uniform and his school bag on his shoulder, waiting for her, as he leans on the wall with folded arms on his chest. He smiles at her as he sees Eun Hye is looking at him.

 

“He is already standing there for quite some time now, watching you working…” the nurse continues.

 

Eun Hye just smiles and continues with her work on her patient’s shoulder. Once she finished, she bandaged the wound up.

 

“Avoid using this shoulder for two weeks okay, or else the stitches will be pulled out and your wounds won’t heal properly,”

 

The girl nods with a smile and Eun Hye just caressed her hair lovingly. She asked the nurse to help the girl further as she then slowly take her leave. She walks away from them and now she walks to the one who is already waiting for her.

 

“Seungri-ahh… Just how long have you wait???” Eun Hye asked as soon as she reaches him.

 

“Not that long noona.. Don’t worry…” Seungri said with a smile.

 

Eun Hye can’t help but to notice that Seungri is not as cheerful as usual, judging by the small smile on his face, and it looks kind of fake.

 

“You just came back from school?” Eun Hye asked.

 

“Yeap and I want to meet you first before going upstairs…” Seungri said.

 

Eun Hye nods her head and then they walk together, leaving the ER space and heading to the coffee machine. Eun Hye said she got the time to talk if Seungri wants to talk. As they walk, Seungri tells Eun Hye about his day in school and he asks Eun Hye about her day in work too. Eun Hye gladly tells him about her day and her patients as they standing in front of the coffee machine waiting for their coffee.

 

“I need your help noona… If you don’t mind…” Seungri said as he takes his cup of coffee from the machine. Eun Hye looks at him with quizzical look as she sips her own coffee.

 

“What help?” She asked.

 

Seungri grins at her before he speaks. “I have a college entrance exam next month…” Seungri said. “And yeah, I need your help…” he continues.

 

Eun Hye raised her eyebrows at that request. What she can do for him anyway??

 

“There are certain things that I don’t really understand, and I don’t think I can learn it just by reading so, if you don’t mind, I would like to learn from you… You can clarify few things for me… If you don’t mind, noona…” Seungri said carefully.

 

Eun Hye’s face changed from confuse to shock as she is gaping right now while she stares at Seungri in disbelief. She looks confused at first and she can’t even look away from him even for a second. Her lips let out a wide smile when Seungri is also slowly smiling at her.

 

“Oh my god! Oh my god Seungri! Seriously??? Are we thinking about the same thing???” Eun Hye asked in excitement. It’s been a while since the last time she’s feeling this way. She almost wants to jump in front of Seungri but she controls herself anyway, trying so hard to play cool. Seungri nods his head and he laughs at Eun Hye’s reaction. She is that happy???

 

“You are taking medics!!!???” Eun Hye asked with her wide eyes. She really feels like her real dongsaeng is the one who is taking medics right now. She couldn’t hide her happiness and excitement. She wants to scream and jump at the same time.

 

“Yes noona…” Seungri answered as he chuckles at Eun Hye’s excitement and his coffee almost spills when Eun Hye suddenly jump at him and hugs him tight.

 

“Woah Seungri-ahhh!!! Noona is soooooo happy!!! Oh my god!! Why am I like this??? I don’t know that I will be this happy!!” Eun Hye said as she hugs Seungri tightly. “Noona is so excited for you!! Oh my god!!”

 

Seungri smiles widely and hugs his noona back. Yes, his noona. His one and only noona.

 

“I’m happy! I’m happy! I’m happy!” Eun Hye said as she finally pulls away and she looks at Seungri with her brightest smile ever. “Noona will help you! It’s a promise!! Noona will make sure that you will become a doctor! A great doctor…” Eun Hye said excitedly as she looks at Seungri with proud. Her dongsaeng.

 

“I knew you would say that….” Seungri jokes.

 

“Ahhh… That confident huh! So, when can we start??? Tomorrow is noona’s off day,” Eun Hye said with a grin on her face. Seungri’s eyes become wide.

 

“Already??” he asked.

 

“Yeah! Your exam is next month Seungri! We don’t have much time left!”

 

“Okay… Okay.. Hmm.. Let’s start tomorrow noona… After I came back from school, let’s do that…” Seungri starts to get excited.

 

“Alright… Well, thinking of that tomorrow is my off day, let noona pick you up from school, then we come back here together,” Eun Hye suggesting.

 

“Woah!! I love that idea so much, noona… Hmm.. But do you know where my school is?” Seungri asked.

 

“Noona know many things about you Seungri-ahh..” Eun Hye replied with a smirk.

 

“This must be because of Seunghyun hyung… Alright noona, it is a deal then. Pick me up from school tomorrow and let’s start… I’m actually a bit worried about this exam noona… I know that this is a tough course and it is not easy to pass the exam, I’m afraid, I might fail…” Seungri said with his sad face.

 

Eun Hye fully understands Seungri’s worries and years ago, she admits that she felt exactly the same thing too.

 

“You are a genius, Seungri… You will nail that exam in one try… Trust me..” Eun Hye said with a smirk.

 

Seungri looks at Eun Hye and he wonders inside, how her words are so similar with his hyung’s words. They copy each other too much.

 

“Seunghyun hyung said the same thing too…” Seungri said.

 

“Of course… He is always right… He knows his dongsaeng too well…” Eun Hye replied with a smile.

 

“Well, I would like to be like you… Exactly like you…” Seungri said.

 

Eun Hye’s face changes as she looks at him with her weird face.

 

“Like me??” Eun Hye asked in confused.

 

“A heart specialist…” Seungri answered with a small smile on his face.

 

Eun Hye’s smile fades away slowly as she heard that. She finally realized what this is meant. She looks at Seungri as she is back smiling, and then she put her coffee on the machine and moves closer to that boy as she cupped his face with her both hands. She really takes him as her real dongsaeng now.

 

“You are really indeed a blessing to your hyungs, Seungri…” Eun Hye said softly.

 

Seungri’s face changes, his smiles fade, and he looks at his noona in the eyes. Again, how can she say exactly the same thing like Seunghyun hyung.

 

“Your Seunghyun hyung often told me that and today, I couldn’t agree more… He was right...” Eun Hye said, and she smiles at Seungri with a total proud on her face. “Your hyungs are so lucky to have you with them… You will be the best doctor Seungri… Even better than me… You can have my word…”

 

Seungri’s lips slowly form a smile and he was deeply touched by Eun Hye’s words. The one, who he just met for few days, already makes him feels knowing her for years. Now he knows how his eldest hyung can fall for her at the first place. It is just too impossible not to love her. Seungri can’t help but to smile with tears in his eyes and he finally pulls Eun Hye to him and hugs his noona back.

 

“Thank you noona… Thank you… Thank you so much…” Seungri said in tears.

 

Eun Hye smile at his words as she hugs him back and caressing his hair softly. What a greatest feeling is this… This is how it feels to have a dongsaeng… It feels great, Seunghyun-ahh… Now, I know how deep your love towards them. If I was in your shoes too, I would definitely going to love them as much as you…

Seungri then breaks the hug and he looks at Eun Hye with a meaningful look.

 

“Noona…”

 

“Yes…”

 

“I don’t know what happened between you and Seunghyun hyung, and I guess it didn’t end good… But noona, please… Go meet him…” Seungri suddenly said it out, the things that he has kept to himself before. Seungri can sees how Eun Hye’s smile fades and she just looks back at him with her sad eyes.

 

“Seungri?” a voice comes in and the two of them immediately looks at the source of the voice.

 

Eun Hye turns around to look at behind her and her eyes went wide as she looks at who are standing behind her. There are two men with confuse look on their face are now staring at her and Seungri.

 

“Hyung~!” Seungri calls out as he immediately wipes his tears and runs to his hyungs, which are Jiyong and Taeyang. “I’m about to go upstairs..” Seungri said but he notices that his hyungs eyes are not at him anymore but to Eun Hye behind him. “Oh, hyung.. Let me introduce you guys to her… Well, this is my noona… Yoon Eun Hye…” Seungri introduced her as soon as he stands beside his hyungs. Jiyong stares at Seungri in disbelief but Taeyang is staring at Eun Hye with wide eyes. This woman in front of him now is the one that he has been looking for and so dying to meet. This is Yoon Eun Hye, the one that his hyung loves.

 

“How do you know her?” Jiyong asked his dongsaeng.

 

“Hmm… Actually… She is Seunghyun hyung…” Seungri is unable to finish when Eun Hye beats him.

 

“I was the one who attended Seunghyun-sshi when he was first brought in here…” Eun Hye said in one go. Seungri turns to looks at her questioningly. Eun Hye just ignores the look but her eyes are back on Jiyong and Taeyang. “Well, Seungri-sshi was the one with Seunghyun-sshi when he was brought in here, so that was the time I met him… He always asked me about his hyung’s condition and that was why we knew each other..” Eun Hye continues.

 

Seungri is staring at Eun Hye, and wonder why she was not telling the truth.

 

“Well, I need to leave first… Seungri-sshi, have a good day…” Eun Hye said formally as she then turns around wanting to leave them.

 

“Wait…” Taeyang finally finds his voice to speak. Eun Hye suddenly stops in her steps and she slowly turns to him with uneasy look on her face. “If you don’t mind, we would like to speak with you for a moment…” Taeyang said.

 

Eun Hye looks at him and then she looks at Jiyong who is also looking at her but this time, there is no a single trace of anger and hate on his face. Is “we” meaning including Jiyong?

 

“Please…” Jiyong said as he can sees how Eun Hye is contemplating to talk to them. He understands why. Eun Hye is taken aback a bit at Jiyong’s sudden politeness towards her but she just keeps her silent. She looks at Taeyang and she can see a desperate look on his face and finally Eun Hye slowly nodding her head in responds. They must have something to say and how I hope it is not a threat.

 

After Jiyong asked Seungri to go first, the three of them walk to the garden together and not a single word is coming out from their mouth. Once they are in the garden, far from people’s eyes just like what Taeyang wanted, they stop and Eun Hye turn around to look at them. She doesn’t even find any bench to sit as she doesn’t feel like sitting right now. She is too nervous in facing these two men before her. Only God knows what they want to say right now. Taeyang looks at her, looking like he is trying to find a decent word to start the talk while Jiyong is keeping his mouth shut as he looks at Taeyang like he is asking for help on how to start the talk.

 

“I’m Taeyang…” Taeyang starts by introducing himself for the first time as he held out his right hand for a handshake which Eun Hye looks a bit reluctant to give out her hand at first, but she does it anyway. A handshake is exchange between them and Taeyang is gladly smiles at her. Somehow his smiles did comfort Eun Hye’s nervous mind.

 

“This is my dongsaeng, Jiyong…” Taeyang said as he looks at Jiyong, introducing his dongsaeng to Eun Hye even he knows that they already knew each other. No handshake. Too awkward.

 

Eun Hye just looks at Jiyong for one second before she looks away. Too awkward to handle.

 

“I know that both of you already know each other and I also know that the encounter didn’t end well,” Taeyang said and his words managed to draw Eun Hye’s attention. “I just came to know about what Jiyong has did before Eun Hye-sshi, and because of that very reason, I’m here with him, to meet you personally.” Taeyang said and he stops for a while and looks at Jiyong beside him, silently saying that it is his turn to speak. Jiyong looks at him and then he looks back at Eun Hye. He coughs a bit to clear his throat before he finally opens his mouth.

 

“I believe our first meeting was not a good one… And I truly believe that I’ve crossed the line, Eun Hye-sshi… I caused you trouble and finally it throws us into this mess… I don’t know if by saying sorry is enough to mend things but nevertheless, it is still a big mistake and no matter what, I still need to apologize to you and your father. I’m sorry… I’m truly sorry… I ruined everything that you had with Seunghyun hyung and because of me; both of you never see each other again… How foolish was I for thinking that I could put blame on you about what happened to my hyung… I was so foolish and scared.. I’ve nowhere to go and I just don’t know what I can do to save him. I was so desperate… I’m so scared of losing him and without thinking further; I straight away released my frustration on you… What I did was very very wrong, Eun Hye-sshi, and I do understand if you choose not to forgive me…” Jiyong said sincerely.

 

Eun Hye lost of words to say because this is out of her expectation. She thought there would be another threat or warning but no, it was actually an apologize. She can feel the sincerity in Jiyong’s words and for a moment, she almost forgot on what he did to her before. Jiyong is a good man, but just doesn’t get near to his bad side and then you will be safe.

 

Eun Hye looks down at her hands to arrange her words carefully. She then lifts up her head and looks at Jiyong and Taeyang.

 

“If I was in your shoes, I might just do the same thing, Jiyong-sshi… Love makes us forget how rational works. It makes us go beyond thousands miles just to make sure that our love ones is safe and happy. I might resort to the same thing as you Jiyong-sshi and I truly understand. You love your hyung so much… I know… We both love him anyway, and there is nothing that we wouldn’t do for him. He is indeed well love by everyone, isn’t he,” Eun Hye said with a smile on her face.

 

Her smile immediately put Jiyong’s heart at ease.

 

“I forgive you Jiyong-sshi…” Eun Hye continues. “Whatever happened between us before, let’s put it behind… Don’t think about it anymore and I’m more than glad now because I finally get to meet both of you personally and it just didn’t occur to my mind before that we will meet in this kind of state. But still, it is good to see both you, Seunghyun’s dongsaengs.” Eun Hye smile.

 

Taeyang and Jiyong smiles at her in respond and they just feel happy at the words “Seunghyun’s dongsaengs” that Eun Hye used just now and how that word is really comforting their mess heart now.

 

“Thank you so much, Eun Hye-sshi… Thank you very much…” Jiyong said and now the three of them smiles with each other at ease.

 

“Well, there is another thing Eun Hye-sshi…” Taeyang suddenly said.

 

Eun Hye looks at him. “What is it…” she asked.

 

“Hmm… It’s about Seunghyun hyung…” Taeyang said.

 

Eun Hye just keep shut as she looks at Taeyang and she doesn’t think she can hide her sadness anymore when she heard that name.

 

“Eun Hye-sshi… We would like to bring you to him…” Jiyong finally said it out.