Daesung is currently wiping Seunghyun's hand with a damp cloth softly and he frowning as he stares at his eldest hyung's swollen hand because of the IV drip. He caressed the swollen part slowly as not to hurt his hyung, as if his hyung can really feel the pain at that time. Daesung moves the IV tube a bit to wipe the hand further to the upper part and then he slowly moves to Seunghyun's neck then slowly wipes it, avoiding the tube that goes through his hyung's nose. However, he is not daring enough to touch the thick tube through his hyung's mouth, he is scared he might hurt Seunghyun's throat. He doesn't realize that he is crying till he sees his own tears drop on Seunghyun's cheek. Daesung slowly wipes away the tears drop with his right thumb and he then take the chance to take a proper look on Seunghyun's face. He caressed his hyung's cheek as he can feels how Seunghyun's face sunken.

 

No wonder whenever I hugged you, I can feel that you are so thin. I thought you were just over working yourself, not eating on time, not sleeping on time, but it was more than that. You were neglecting yourself too much hyung. In your 30 years of living, what have you done for yourself? I really want to know. Did you buy something for yourself? Did you get something for yourself? Do you have any hobby? Did you ever go to some nice places? Because I don't have any memory of you getting anything for your own self, hyung. I only remember how you came home with foods in your hand. I only remember how you came home, bringing toys for everyone. I only remember how you came home bringing books for everyone. I only remember how you feeding us.

 

We don't have enough money during those times but I don't know how we managed to finish our schools. Everyone went to school but you were the only one who didn't even finish your school hyung. I never sees you going to school, I never sees you in your school uniform. I never see you playing with other kids or even with us. When we were preparing to get ready for schools, you were already at the door, wearing your shoes to leave for work and we never know at what time you were coming back but you always came home, no matter how late it was. Then, when Taeyang left the house 5 years ago, it was becoming harder to see you at home, and it was becoming harder to approach you. You were basically drowning yourself with works. Now, when we are already becoming closer with each other, when we are already have the chance to get to know with each other, when finally we were able to have meals together without being awkward with each other, when all of us already getting used with your presence, you now want to leave us?? You mend things because you are leaving us? Isn't it the most selfish moves ever hyung? Don't you know how much we miss you? We love you too, hyung…

 

Another tears drop again on Seunghyun's face and slowly Daesung moves near his hyung's head and slowly kissing his eldest hyung's forehead as he softly caressing Seunghyun's hair.

 

"Wake up hyung… Don't you worried about us? Please wake up…" Daesung whispers to Seunghyun's ear slowly. Daesung wipes his tears again and he continues his doing carefully wiping his hyung's face, avoiding those tubes.

 

Suddenly he hears the door being open and he turns his head to look at the door which then revealed Jiyong who walks weakly to the bed with swollen eyes. What the hell happened? Did he just cried?

 

"Just where the hell you went hyung? It's night already and did you have your dinner? Do you need…" Daesung is unable to finish his words when suddenly someone is coming in through the door where Jiyong came just now and his eyes turn wide as he sees who is the person that just coming in right now. He just can't believe his eyes so he turns to Jiyong who is slowly walks to him with a small smile on his face, silently saying "Yeah, he is back" to Daesung. Now the man that they have been waiting for is here, with them and this time he is exactly in a perfect condition, not drunk. He is here for his hyung. He is here for his family. Taeyang hyung is finally here with them. Jiyong pats Daesung on his back when he sees the younger tearing up at the sight before him. However, the silent man is slowly taking his steps from the door towards the end of the bed with his eyes stick on the person who is lying unconsciously on the bed. This  time, it’s him who making steps towards Seunghyun, this time it’s him who is making an efforts to go near his hyung. No expressions and no words are coming out from his mouth. No one knows what is going in his mind right now as he just stares at Seunghyun on the bed and he stops at the end of the bed and shows no sign to walk further to Seunghyun's side. That hurt in his eyes are visible and Daesung notices how Taeyang is actually controlling himself to be calm in this situation. He is standing there like a statue till finally a voice appeared.

 

"What is he doing here?"

 

Jiyong and Daesung turn around drastically as soon as they heard the voice and same goes with Taeyang who moves his head to the voice that coming from the washroom's door.

 

"Seungri-ah.." Jiyong said.

 

"What is he doing here??" Seungri asked again with his eyes fixed on Taeyang, not looking at his other hyungs.

 

"Seungri, please…" Daesung said as he makes a step towards his maknae but he stops in his midway when the maknae speaks again.

 

"Leave," Seungri said shortly and clearly he pointed his word to Taeyang who is just looks at him in silent.

 

"Seungri, stops this. He is your hyung," Jiyong said.

 

"No… The one who stays here are my hyung. The one who left is not my hyung… I'm done begging," Seungri replied sternly and this shocks everyone there as they can't believe their cheerful maknae now is able to say those things to his hyung.

 

"No, Seungri-ah… Taeyang hyung is staying now.. He's coming back for good.. He won't leave again," Daesung said.

 

"No, he will. Right when we open our eyes tomorrow morning, he will not be here anymore. He will leave again. He chose to leave before so why we want to waste our time and efforts to beg him to stay? He never considers us as his family. Where was he when we need him the most? Where was he when Seunghyun hyung collapsed the other day? He ing left Seunghyun hyung alone and because of him, Seunghyun hyung almost died!" Seungri raised his voice and just in a second, Jiyong walks to him and did one thing that shocked the hell out of everyone. Jiyong just slapped his baby brother. Jiyong just slapped his beloved maknae. No one in the house has resort to this kind of action before, even no matter how bad the situation was, Seunghyun never once hit his dongsaengs with his hands.

 

"Hyung!!" Daesung said in shocked but Jiyong just stand in front of Seungri with anger flaming in his eyes and Seungri looks at the floor as he touch his now red left cheek. The pain stings and not just to his face but to his heart.

 

"Did you know why I slapped you?" Jiyong asked in his stern voice at Seungri but the youngest is just unable to find his voice to reply his hyung. "Because I don't want you to regrets with your own words later… That's why I slapped you. The one who you just threw those painful words to just now is your hyung. He is your hyung. As much as you are angry at him, don't simply say anything that you didn't mean to say at all.. There are always two sides of a story, Seungri. Why he left. Why he refused to come back. Why he came home the other day. Why he spent those days with us. Why he left again. You don't know the reasons at all, so don't simply judge him. Yes, you are right, he left us. He left Seunghyun hyung, but why he left? What's the reason he left? That very reason, you don't know yourself. So, I'm not regretting for slapping you just now. Because you know why our family become like this??? Because there were words that were not supposed to be said, was being said out loud without thinking and I don't want it to happen ever again," Jiyong said clearly to his maknae which then he slowly retreats from his maknae and continues his words. "Take him with you Dae,"

 

Daesung finally moves from where he stands and he holds Seungri's right hand, and pulls the youngest walking out of the room, leaving the hyungs behind. As soon as the two of them are out of the room, Jiyong turn around and sees Taeyang is looking at him in silent. Taeyang's eyes are watery when he stares at Jiyong but again, he just keep quiet, not saying anything. Jiyong knows that Taeyang is hurting but he doesn't know what to say to comfort his hyung now.

 

"I'll leave hyung with you… You guys might have a lot to catch up isn't it? Anything, just call me," Jiyong said with more calm tone with Taeyang and as soon as he sees Taeyang's eyes are back on Seunghyun, he finally makes a move leaving the two of them behind and when he reaches the door, he hears Taeyang's words at him.

 

"Don't do that ever again Jiyong,"

 

Jiyong just take a deep breath when he hears Taeyang’s words which then he finally opens the door slowly, leaving the room not replying to those words.

 

Now there are only two persons in the room which makes the room totally in silent. Taeyang is still standing straight with his both hands in his pocket at the end of the bed and stares at Seunghyun. He observes every wires and every tube that being hooked at his hyung's bare chest. He observes how the oxygen machine let out a hissing sound pumping up and down to help his hyung breathing. He observes the thick tube that is s into his hyung's mouth, the small tube that goes through his hyung's nose, the heart monitor that give out a rhythm line and beeping sounds, showing that the heart is still beating. He observes the IV drip tube that goes straight to his hyung's swollen hand. He watches how his hyung's chest heaving up and down taking the air inside just to breath. Just to breath, his hyung needs to make such an effort.

 

This is the reason you want me back so bad. This is the reason why you becoming closer with them. This is the reason why you are finally making things right. This is the reason why you came to my concert. This is the reason why you are finally after these whole five years, making an effort to fix our relationship. Because you yourself are leaving, isn't it? What makes you think you can leave us here without you? What makes you think that we can actually live in this world without you? How can you do this to us hyung, after you make them used to be with you. When you make them starting to love you, growing fond on you, used with your presence, able to see you every day, plays with you, having meals with you. Your dongsaengs just starting to get to know you hyung and now this. Even now you are still being selfish!!

 

“Because you know why our family become like this??? Because there were words that were not supposed to be said, was being said out loud without thinking,”

 

Jiyong was right, isn’t he hyung? He was right all along. He was there when that thing happened. He was there and he heard each and every word that we threw to each other. And finally how our family become like this hyung?? How our family had been falling apart until we becoming like this. Our fights crushing the whole family and hurts everyone. Anger and ego tear us apart hyung and I’ve been avoiding thinking about this for 5 years, avoiding admitting. We are indeed so pathetic, aren’t we hyung? We need to stop this, hyung…

 

Taeyang just stares hardly at his hyung and the tears are finally dropped from his eyes.

 

"Hyung…." Taeyang finally let the word to escape from his mouth and finally he calls the person before him softly like he always did before. "Did I come too late?? Are you angry with me?" Taeyang asked as he bites his trembling lips to suppress himself from sobbing. "Are you angry with me hyung?? You are angry, aren't you?? I didn't listen to you... I said hurtful things to you... I…. I even left you..." Taeyang burst in tears as he speaks.

 

“I left you 5 years ago and then I left you again the other day… I said hurtful things to you 5 years ago and then I said hurtful things again to you the other day.. I broke your heart 5 years ago, and then I broke your heart again the other day… You must be in so much pain 5 years ago hyung, but this time you almost died hyung…. I did that… I did that… I left you again hyung…. I left you again….” and now Taeyang is indeed breaking inside as he is shaking and holds the end of the bed with his left hand and his other hand clutching his chest like he is in pain which he then finally falls to his knees and cries as much as he wants. His tears turn into a loud cry as he holding the bed for support.

 

"Hyung~!Hyung~! I should just come to you earlier…. It was me who should come to you hyung.. It was me hyung.. It was me.. I should just come to you…. It was my fault hyung… It was my fault.. I'm sorry… I'm sorry!! I'm so sorry hyung… I left you… I hurt you… Hyung… Hyung… Take me back hyung.. Take me back hyung… I want to go home with you hyung… Take me back hyung.. Please.. It was my fault, definitely my fault… Don't do this to me hyung… I want to go home!! So take me back with you hyung! Hyung~!! I'm begging at you hyung…. Let's do things together again.. Let's have meals together again.. Let's play together with dongsaengs again hyung.. Please hyung.. Let's do everything together again hyung.. I'll bring you to nice places, I'll buy anything that you want hyung, I'll take you to eat somewhere nice hyung… Let's travel with dongsaengs hyung.. I'll play the guitar again for you hyung… I'll play the guitar again for you hyung… Please hyung.. Take me back hyung… I won't leave you anymore.. I won't leave my hyung anymore… I only have you hyung…," Taeyang begs with his all and his mind can't help but to remember each word that his hyung said to him before.

 

“Hyung is missing you, Taeyang-ah…”

“You are my dongsaeng too… You are my first dongsaeng, Taeyang-ah…”

 

"Oh hyung~~! I miss you too hyung… I miss you too… I really really miss you hyung.." Taeyang burst in more tears as he repeat his words so many times begging on his knees near his hyung's leg. He is begging for forgiveness like crazy but no matter what he said, and no matter how hard he cries, there is only silent. Only the beeping sounds filling the room together with his loud cries.

 

Unknown to him Jiyong is standing quietly outside the room with his back leaning at the door and listen to each and every words that he said. Jiyong cries silently as he heard how sorry Taeyang is towards Seunghyun and he regrets for not telling about this sooner to Taeyang. If only he didn’t listen to Seunghyun to keep this as a secret, maybe the wounds won’t be this deep and the regrets won’t be this big. Jiyong really wants to barge into the room to hugs Taeyang very tight and comfort him but he knows very well that this time, Taeyang needs to do this all alone. These 5 years of fighting needs to be end by Taeyang himself.

 

While Taeyang is crying so hard at the end of the bed, no one knows that there are tears rolling down from Seunghyun's eyes. 

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

The smells of coffees wakes Daesung up that morning, as he then opens his eyes a bit and he can see his Taeyang hyung is arranging a few cups of coffees on the table near the glass window beside Seunghyun’s bed. Everyone is still in deep sleep, Jiyong is sleeping on the long couch and Seungri is still in the same spot, on the chair beside Seunghyun’s bed with his head on the bed, meanwhile Daesung just sleeps on the single couch with his legs on the table in front of him, hugging his pillow. That’s how they sleep since Seunghyun was admitted in the hospital. Taeyang is the only one who is wide awake right now and he is busily taking out breakfast from the paper bag. He already went out in the early morning to buy breakfast for his dongsaengs as he thought that they must be so damn hungry once they wake up. Taeyang doesn’t realize that Daesung is currently just observing him from the couch.

 

Daesung observes after Taeyang finish taking out the breakfast from the paper bag, he then takes a damp cloth in a basin that he might already prepared before from the chair behind him and he uncover the blankets that cover Seunghyun’s legs, then he slowly wipes Seunghyun’s leg in silent, not caring to lifts up his head even once. Daesung notices how Taeyang do it very slowly and carefully as not to wake Seungri who is still sleeping with his head on the bed. Taeyang sometimes throwing a glance to Seungri just to make sure that the maknae is still sleeping peacefully. Last night, Daesung doesn’t know where Taeyang was sleeping because once he came back to the room with Seungri, Taeyang was not in the room and only Jiyong was there accompanying Seunghyun. Jiyong said Taeyang went out for awhile to settle few things and will come back soon after that but Daesung ended up fell asleep while waiting for Taeyang to come back. Daesung let out a relieved sighs.

 

We are back on track hyung, so now it just you who need to wake up right now. Jiyong hyung is here, I am here, Seungri is here and even Taeyang hyung is here. All of us are here, waiting for you, staying with you, and going to take care of you. You have been taking care of us your whole life, so now; it’s our turn to return the favor. 4 of us will take care of you so please wake up hyung. The one that you have been waiting is already here, and now he is back for good, so please opens your eyes hyung.

 

“Hyung…” Daesung calls with his morning voice and he smiles at Taeyang sweetly.

 

Taeyang lifts his head and sees Daesung is smiling at him from the couch. Taeyang let out a small smile to his dongsaeng but he then put his pointing finger at his mouth, signaling for Daesung not to make any noise which he then pointing at the sleeping maknae. Taeyang doesn’t want Daesung to wake Seungri up. Daesung is smiling even wider at him as he really feels like the old times. His Taeyang hyung is back. Daesung is not that scared anymore, because another big hyung is here with them. Daesung then gets up from the couch and stretch out as much as he wants and then he walks lazily to Taeyang who then back to his previous work; wiping Seunghyun’s other leg quietly. Taeyang ignores his dongsaeng who walks behind him, heading to the table that has few cups of coffees on it. Daesung takes one cup and straight away taking a sip of the coffee without asking from Taeyang first.

 

“Kyaa… What are you doing??” Taeyang suddenly scolds him in whispers and Daesung makes a puzzling look at his hyung as he then looks back at his coffee, silently saying “I’m having my coffee hyung~!” to Taeyang.

 

“You take your coffee without brushing your teeth first? Seriously Daesung-ah?” Taeyang scolds him again by whispering as not to wake up others.

 

There there our mother hen is back in action right now. This is amusing. Daesung grins at his hyung and he happily walks to Taeyang and hugs him tight. He misses this hyung. He misses this kind of Taeyang. He miss this nagging and scolding. Taeyang widened his eyes as his dongsaeng is suddenly hugging him, so he straight away smacks Daesung in the head in respond.

 

“Go wash yourself first and then have your breakfast,” Taeyang nags which then the two of them suddenly feels like someone is walking behind them, so both of them turn around and found Jiyong with his morning orange hair walks to the table and absently taking one cup of coffee and have a sips of it. Just when this guy woke up??? Taeyang’s eyes turn wide at that view and Daesung grinning even wider.

 

“Aahhh…” Jiyong said as he drinks his coffee. “This is refreshing..” he continues which then, ignoring Taeyang and Daesung, he walks to the other moving table which usually for patients to eat, and he casually picking which sandwich that he wants to have that morning. Taeyang did buy a lot for breakfast this morning. Daesung then immediately joins his Jiyong hyung and starts to choose which sandwich that he wants too, clearly ignoring Taeyang who just ends up shaking his head in return while looking at his dongsaeng’s behavior.

 

“At what time you came back last night Taeyang-ah?” Jiyong asked in whispers as he opens the wraps of his sandwich.

 

“I don’t know, I didn’t look at the time,” Taeyang answered simply.

 

“Where did you go last night hyung?” Daesung’s turn to ask.

 

“Pack my things and settle few works,”

 

“Then you must come back so late last night… Did you even sleep?” Jiyong asked with his full mouth.

 

“Yeah, I slept,” Taeyang answered shortly while he is still busily wiping Seunghyun’s body, not even lifting his head to look at his dongsaeng. Daesung and Jiyong look at each other and just observe Taeyang while eating their breakfast. They watch how Taeyang is looking after Seunghyun and this remind them about one fact which is out of four of them, Taeyang is actually the one who loves Seunghyun the most so this view in front of them is not a strange view. Jiyong gives out small smile because right now in this moment, five of them are finally together. This is what Seunghyun hyung has been waiting for and this is what he has been asking for. Being together with his dongsaengs but Jiyong is not expecting that when finally the five of them is able to be together, it will be in this kind of state.

 

Seungri is suddenly moving in his sleep which it startled the three of them and the most panic person right now is Taeyang who stops his doing and stares at Seungri. The maknae slowly opens his eyes and the first view that he sees is Seunghyun but then he slowly moves his head and the second person that he sees is Taeyang. He stares at Taeyang and he notices that his hyung is currently holding a damp cloth and is holding Seunghyun’s right hand at the same time. His eyes from the cloth then back to Taeyang but he doesn’t say anything to his silent hyung. Seungri then slowly moves from his position and sit back straight and then he is a bit taken aback when he sees Jiyong and Daesung is looking at him while chewing their sandwiches from the end of the bed.

 

“What are you guys eating?” Seungri asked in his hoarse morning voice.

 

“Sandwich.. There are many things here, lots of different sandwiches Seungri-ah… Come let’s have breakfast and there is also coffee for you.. Come here,” Daesung said calling his maknae to him. Jiyong however remains in silent and continues chewing his sandwich but he is still looking straight at Seungri. The maknae then slowly gets up from the chair and stretch his aching body because of the discomfort sleeping on the chair.

 

“I’ll go to wash myself first, then I’ll have my breakfast,” Seungri replied and then walks lazily towards the washroom, leaving the hyungs who watching him in silent and once the maknae is out of their sight into the washroom, Jiyong and Daesung straights away looks at Taeyang. Taeyang just looks at them with a stern face.

 

“Seungri is the only one who listens to his hyung… He goes to wash himself and brush his teeth first, not like the two of you,” Taeyang nags and then back to his work. Daesung ends up burst out laughing and Jiyong just chuckles at that statement. Seungri is the best maknae that one could have asked for.

 

Their laughs died when there are two female nurses come into the room, one with mask on her face pulling the trolley of which contain meds and few of medical equipment while the other one without the mask is pushing the trolley from behind. As usual, in the morning these two nurses will come and make a quick check up on Seunghyun, like taking his temperature, blood pressure and checking those monitors and tubes on Seunghyun. The two nurses bowing down a bit to greet the three of them but the one in mask looks a bit taken aback once she realized who is the one that standing near Seunghyuns’s bed. She never sees him here before this.

 

“Oh this is my hyung too, you know him right? That popular singer, Taeyang.. He is our hyung,” Daesung said as soon he notices the reaction from the nurse.

 

“He is our second hyung after Seunghyun-sshi” Jiyong introduces further.

 

“Ohh.. Yea.. Yea.. We never knew that Taeyang is a part of the family. It’s good to see you, Taeyang-sshi… We are your fans,” the other nurse without mask answered even she sounds a bit stuttered. 

 

“Well, we need to do a quick check up on Mr. Choi, please,” the nurse without mask said.

 

“Yes, please,” Taeyang said, moving away from his hyung and also his two dongsaengs are making ways for the two nurses to walk to their hyung. Jiyong and Daesung remove all their foods and carry it to their table near the couches. Taeyang notices how the nurse without mask on her face, quickly pushes the one with mask to move towards his hyung as she looks a bit bewildered while still looking straight at him. Taeyang is just standing still near Seunghyun’s legs, observing the two nurses doing their job. The nurse with the mask looks a bit hesitate in doing her job at first but after the other nurse whispers something to her, she likes regaining her composure back and then skillfully checking the tubes at his hyung’s nose and the thick tube in Seunghyun’s mouth that no one of them dare to touch it before. She must be my fan, which is why she’s acting this way.

 

The nurse with mask does the check up while the other one jotting down of whatever the nurse with the mask said. It is for few minutes till they finally done with the check up and finally greet them to leave.

 

“Thank you,” Taeyang said to them and the nurse without mask smiles sweetly to him in respond but the one with the mask just looks at him in silent. Taeyang notices that this nurse with the mask on her face doesn’t talk much and only said few things to the other nurse while doing the check up but her eyes looks different when she’s looking at him.

 

“Yes?” Taeyang suddenly asked when the nurse with mask still staring at him.

 

“Err.. No.. No.. She is just a big fan of yours Taeyang-sshi., that’s why she likes to look at you.. This is her first time.. Forgive her..” the nurse without the mask answered on behalf of her friend and quickly pulls her.

 

“Do you want my autographs?” Taeyang asked.

 

“Oh we can?” the other nurse without mask asked.

 

“Of course,” Taeyang smiles as he then moves to the table besides Seunghyun’s bed but he stops in his midway when he hears the nurse with mask speaks.

 

“It’s okay… We need to leave…Thank you..” she said and immediately walks away pushing the trolley and pulls her friend with her. Taeyang watches the two nurses walk out leaving the room weirdly and he then turn to his two dongsaengs on the long couch with a puzzling look.

 

“Woah hyung… You have many kinds of fans… Even the one who rejects you…” Daesung said while chuckling and Jiyong just laughs in responds.

 

Meanwhile outside the room, the nurses walks together in speed leaving and they finally enters a room that full with shelf of meds in it. The one without the mask lock the door and turn around facing the other nurse who finally taking down her mask from her face.

 

“You almost get us caught today, Dr. Yoon!!” the nurse scolds.

 

Eun Hye just let out a heavy sighs and she throws her mask into a bin beside her.

 

“I’m sorry…” she said slowly.

 

“Why don’t you tell me, Taeyang is his dongsaeng??” the nurse asked again. “I almost can get his autograph but you pull me away. That action was also can make us look suspicious you know. Who the hell is crazy enough to reject Taeyang’s autograph????”

 

“I don’t know that Taeyang is his dongsaeng, Jiyeon-ah,” Eun Hye said as she then turns away with her back facing the nurse. She doesn’t say anything till Jiyeon moves to her from behind.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

 

“Thanks for today Jiyeon-ah, but could you please leave me alone for awhile? I will take care of this uniform myself,” Eun Hye said without turning back.

 

“Alright… Just don’t be long, patients down there need you.. I’ll go first,” Jiyeon said and then she slowly walks away leaving Eun Hye alone in the room.

 

As soon as the door closed, Eun Hye turns around and runs to the door and locks it. She burst in tears as she falls on her knees because today, she just come to know about one thing that she didn’t even know before this. Why Seunghyun had so desperately wanted to go to the concert. Why he had been so stubborn to attend the concert. Why his face changed in instant at each time she mentioned Taeyang’s name. How quiet he will be when she listens to Taeyang’s songs. This is because Taeyang is actually his dongsaeng, the one who he never mention the name. The one who left the house for 5 years. Every moment are playing one by one in her mind as she remembers about it and her heart breaks even more as she realized how deep Seunghyun’s love towards his dongsaeng is.

 

Flashback

Eun Hye takes a sip of coffee in silent on the bench in the hospital’s garden while having a rest before continues her work in the emergency department. Today is her off day, but she still chooses to work because she doesn’t have any plans to do anyway. She stares emptily towards the space in front of her as she watches how each leaves fall down from the trees. The weather is nice and breezy today and she closes her eyes to feel the soft wind that touches her skin, till she finally feels someone is taking a sit beside her.

 

She opens her eyes and look to her right and Jong Suk let out a small smile at her while carrying a cup of coffee with him. Eun Hye smiles back at him and then back to face the view in front of her.

 

“How’s your day?”Jong Suk started the conversation.

 

“Great so far,” she answered softly.

 

“How about your room here?? Everything is okay?” Jong Suk asked and all he got was only a nod from her.

 

It’s been a week, since she moved as a resident in the hospital and she voluntarily to stay in the hospital, by looking at the nature of her work that needs to be on call for 24 hours. Emergency department is a hectic department and she needs to be there all the time. She has cardio specialist background, so everyone in the department are looking highly at her but her choice to be the resident there was definitely quite shocking to everyone. Jong Suk is one of the people that were damn shocked when he got to know about her decision to be transferred there and even staying as a resident but he refused to question it. He knows why.

 

“Have you met your father?” Jong Suk asked.

 

“I’m having dinner with him tonight,” she answered.

 

“Are we going to have this boring conversation all the time? Where I need to ask and you will answer with few words,”

 

Eun Hye smiles again at her friend.

 

“I’m sorry… So how’s your department? How’s everyone there?” Eun Hye is making an effort this time.

 

“Everything is alright but they always ask about you… Why did you moves to Emergency in short notice,”

 

“Ahh… I’ve no duty to disclose it to them… But I’m sure everyone is doing well there including my ex-patients,”

 

“Everyone is doing well Eun Hye.. But how about you… Are you doing well here? Emergency is a tough department Eun Hye-ah… Just come back to 12^th floor..”

 

“No, Jong Suk-ah.. I’m doing great here and I managed to get more useful experience here…”

 

“You are overworking yourself,”

 

Eun Hye let out a small laughs and then she turns to her friend which after that she pats Jong Suk’s back slowly.

 

“I’m fine and I’m doing well here, don’t worry about me Jong Suk…”

 

“Eun Hye, we both know why you are here,”

 

“Let’s not talk about it,”

“Stop keeping things to yourself Eun Hye.. I know you so well and I can’t ignore you like this.. Just go to London, Eun Hye,”

 

Eun Hye closed her eyes when she heard that and she let out a sighs. This is not the first time for Jong Suk to persuade her to leave.

 

“I don’t want Jong Suk-ah,”

 

“You are hurting yourself… This is not Yoon Eun Hye that I know… Eun Hye that I know is a strong person and will stand up for herself and she knows what’s best for herself but now what are you doing Yoon Eun Hye??? He won’t come back to you!!”

 

Eun Hye takes a painful deep breath when she heard those words and she can’t help the tears that start to form in her eyes. That’s hurt… That’s really hurt…

 

“What have I done that is so wrong till he left me, Jong Suk-ah…”she can’t help but to ask that question to Jong Suk and she realized that only ego that stops her from asking this before this.

 

Jong Suk stares at Eun Hye sadly.

 

“I told you before not to start the thing that doesn’t promise you anything. I told you before that this parade is going to break your heart no matter what,”

 

“I know… I know… But how can I stop things when right when I hit the reality, I already fall for him Jong Suk-ah… I love him Jong Suk-ah! I love him… I’m freaking in love with him!!”

 

Jong Suk finally pulls Eun Hye into a hug to comfort his best friend that is finally shows her true emotion. She finally cries. That is what he wants. He wants her to cry. Keeping things to herself and drowns herself in works won’t solve things. He knows how hurt she is right now.

 

“He loves you too Eun Hye-ah…..” Jong Suk whispers to her ear but Eun Hye shakes her head violently in his embrace.

 

“No!! No!! You lied to me! He doesn’t love me at all! He doesn’t love me! If he loves me, he won’t leave me.. He makes me fall for him, he treated me like princess, he did things like a lover but in the end, he left Jong Suk! He left!”

 

“I’m sorry Eun Hye….”

 

“He doesn’t love me Jong Suk-ah so tell me how can I kill this feeling inside me??? I’m all alone in this, Jong Suk.. I was left alone.. He left me.. He doesn’t love me…”

 

“You are right Eun Hye... He left you… Yes.. But he loves you Eun Hye.. He sincerely loves you… But as much as he loves you, he loves his dongsaengs more…”

 

Eun Hye breaks the hug and looks straight and Jong Suk with tears.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Jong Suk sighs, as he contemplating of whether he should tell this to Eun Hye or not.

 

“Eun Hye-ah… His dongsaeng Jiyong wants him to stop meeting you… Jiyong wants him to stop meeting you, which is why he chose to leave you… He loves you Eun Hye.. More than you can ever imagine but he knows his limit and he knows he can’t promise you a future which is why he listens to his dongsaeng. Because soon or later, he knows he will leave. So he thought it is better to leave now… No matter what his dongsaengs wants him to do; he would do it even it’s including to leave you. So, stop doing this to yourself Eun Hye.. I told you before; he’s not the one for you so listen to me… Go back to London… Get yourself out of this mess… Leave here Eun Hye… Please… He won’t come back… He just needs his dongsaengs in his life and you are definitely not a part of his plan… So get over this and leave…”

 

End of flashback

 

Eun Hye cries even harder as she learns the truth and now she really realized that Seunghyun won’t have her in his life. He won’t turn back and look at her anymore because she is never a part of his plan and never will. 

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Knocking sounds on the door alert Jong Suk who is busy preparing few reports of his patients. He allowed the person to come in which then the door opens slowly and reveals the one who he never expects will come to his room to meet him. Jong Suk takes a few seconds to settle his shocking reaction upon seeing the man in front of him.

 

“May I come in?”

 

Jong Suk gulps his saliva nervously as this is his first time meeting this guy personally, but he slowly gets up from his seat to welcome the man.

 

“Sure, please come in,” Jong Suk said with smiles.

 

The man let out a small smile and walks slowly to him, giving out a handshake to begin with. Jong Suk accept the handshake and nods slightly acknowledging their first meeting with each other.

 

“You know me right?” the man starts.

 

“Of course I know you… My best friend’s beloved dongsaeng, Taeyangs-sshi,” Jong Suk replied and he politely asking Taeyang to have a sit.

 

Taeyang is quite taken aback at how Jong Suk said that he knew him. He knew him as his hyung’s brother and not as a celebrity. He smiles because he likes this version better. Taeyang takes a sit in front of Jong Suk and smiles awkwardly to Jong Suk, because he just came to know from Jiyong that this is Seunghyun’s personal doctor for 3 years and his hyung’s best friend for 5 years.

 

“I don’t know that you are back,” Jong Suk started politely.

 

“Yeah, last night,”

 

“So, you already met Seunghyun? I came to check on him before this but you were not there,”

 

“Oh, I went out for awhile to meet some people,”

 

“Yeah, it’s okay.. So, what can I do for you Taeyang-sshi,” Jong Suk asked and he can sees that Taeyang is looking quite nervous in his seat.

 

“Jiyong said that you are Seunghyun hyung’s personal doctor and his best friend too,”

 

Jong Suk nodding his head acknowledging the fact but remains silent to let Taeyang continues with his words.

 

“Well, this is our first meeting and just like what you said before, that I just came back which means I just came to know about Seunghyun hyung’s condition,” Taeyang said and he stops for awhile before he continues again. “I already asked everything from Jiyong and he already told me everything and if I ask you about my hyung’s condition, I think you will only tell me the same thing… But I still need to confirm something with you, Doctor,” Taeyang said.

 

“Please call me Jong Suk, no formalities. You are not a stranger, Taeyang-sshi,”

 

Taeyang coughs lightly to clear his throat. “Then please just call me Taeyang, no formalities too,”

 

“Sure, Taeyang… So, what is it that you need my confirmation with,” Jong Suk asked.

 

Taeyang looks a bit hesitate when he wants to say it but he then takes a deep breath before finally speaks. “Well… My hyung… Hmm… Is there really no any other way out of this?” Taeyang asked as he looks straight at Jong Suk and he is aware how Jong Suk’s face changes in instant at his question.

 

Jong Suk is also taking his own time before answering the question and he looks like he is in deep thinking in choosing his words to answer. “Well, Taeyang… I already told this to your family. About your hyung’s condition, the treatment and his recovery chances and I’m doing my best for your hyung, and it is just not me, but the hospital too. We are doing our best for your hyung. Seunghyun already undergone a surgery about a year ago to repair his valves but now his own heart is not functioning properly and same with his valves. We can schedule him for another surgery but the risk for him to survive that surgery is too low Taeyang, which is why he refused to do it at the first place. His heart can stop during the second surgery which this already happened once recently,” Jong Suk explained.

 

“I don’t think you are answering my question, Jong Suk,” Taeyang suddenly asked with his intimidating voice and this alert Jong Suk. “What am I asking was, is there really no other way out of this,”

 

Jong Suk suddenly remains in silent, not daring to answer that question.

 

“What am I asking, is there really no other way to save him?? Is there only surgery?? Other than that?” Taeyang asked again and he can see how Jong Suk is wavering in front of him. Taeyang can sense that something is off over here. “Jiyong must have never asking this to you isn’t he?” Taeyang asked again. Jong Suk moves his eyes from Taeyang and looks at somewhere else, refused to meet him in the eyes. “You are a doctor Jong Suk, and you are a heart specialist, so you know this better. You are my hyung’s best friend too so I believed you won’t do something bad at him or doing something behind him, right?”

 

“Taeyang-ahh..” Jong Suk let out a sighs. Taeyang let out a bitter laughs in responds.

 

“I don’t know medical, Jong Suk and I’m obviously not a doctor but I think that there is actually one more way to save him right? And you are not disclosing it to my family!!” Taeyang said as he raised his voice.

 

Jong Suk finally closed his eyes in defeat as he looks down not facing Taeyang who is now so damn angry in front of him. You will always be the death of me Seunghyun-ahh…

 

“A heart transplant will save him, am I right?” Taeyang asked again.

 

Why the hell I have you as my best friend, Seunghyun-ahh…

 

Flashback

“Okay, next appointment is on the first Monday, next month Seunghyun. Don’t forget your meds and I must say, you did the right thing by letting Jiyong taking over your work in the office for now.. You need to rest okay,” Jong Suk said as he closes his files in front of him and he looks at his best friend who is now in the middle of buttoning his shirt. They just finish the check up as usual and Seunghyun has been cooperating so well now since Jiyong already knows everything. If Seunghyun refused or not listening to him, Jong Suk will threatened him to tell about it to Jiyong which makes Seunghyun just want to punch his best friend on the face.

 

Seunghyun just nodded his head in respond and once he finishes buttoning his shirt, he lifts his head to face his best friend.

 

“I’ve something to ask from you,” Seunghyun suddenly said in his serious tone. The moment when Seunghyun said that he has something to ask from Jong Suk, his best friend already got the feeling that he won’t like the thing that Seunghyun will ask from him at all.

 

“Don’t be too serious Seunghyun, I don’t like it,” Jong Suk replied.

 

Seunghyun just let out a small laughs at his best friend’s words and he continues to smiles at Jong Suk.

 

“I need you to do something for me,”

 

Jong Suk sighs at that request.

 

“What is it?”he asked.

 

Seunghyun is again let out a heavy sighs and he then looks down at his hands, thinking for words to say and he looks like he is contemplating whether to say it or not. Seunghyun looks back at Jong Suk with a meaningful look.

 

“I know Jiyong already made you promise to tell him everything from now on and I know you would do it. You will tell him everything about me, about my health condition, my progress, basically everything, but Jong Suk-ahh… Could you please not to tell him about the heart transplant thing?” Seunghyun asked with his pleading look.

 

Jong Suk widened his eyes at that request.

 

“What??? Are you crazy?? Of course I’m going to tell him about it, he has the right to know,”

 

“Just tell him about the surgery, but not the heart transplant,”

 

“Dude, again… Are you crazy? Heart transplant is one of the ways to save you besides than the surgery. It is an obvious thing! And Jiyong is your family, he needs to know,” Jong Suk said and he really wants to slap his friend now.

 

“Yes, you are right. He is my family but you have to remember that you are my doctor and I am your patient. The duty of disclosure for a doctor is only to his patient not to his family and even now, I’m using my right as your patient for asking you to not disclosing about this thing to him,”

 

“Oh my god! ARE YOU ING KIDDING ME SEUNGHYUN!! You once asked me to hide your illness for 3 years from your family and I listened to you but now this??? You want me to hide this one too??? Are you crazy?? It’s not that we are not making any efforts about finding a donor for you Hyun-ah… We do everything that we can to find a donor for you and you know this yourself!”

 

“That’s the thing Jong Suk! That’s the thing! You guys are making the effort but as we both know, there are waiting list for god sake!”

 

“SO!?? What is this has anything to do with hiding the heart transplant thing??? We still can tell this to him and explain about the waiting list too,”

 

Jong Suk’s answers shut Seunghyun up. Seunghyun looks a bit confused, a bit uneasy and a bit worried.

 

“I don’t know… It just that… Well… The fact that I know my dongsaengs too well Jong Suk-ah… I just know my dongsaengs too well….”

 

“What is it that actually bothers your mind Hyun-ahh…”

 

“Let’s do this…. Just don’t tell Jiyong about this… Don’t bring up this issue at all… Unless he brings it up… If not… Don’t... Just don’t Jong Suk-ah…” Seunghyun begs.

 

Jong Suk looks confused at first but then he slowly catching up as he think deeply about the reason why Seunghyun been asking this from him. He then stares at Seunghyun with disbelief in his eyes.

 

“Seunghyun…. Do you really think that your dongsaeng would do that????” Jong Suk suddenly asked but not mentioning what he really meant. However, Seunghyun knows that they are on the same page now.

 

“I know Jiyong Jong Suk-ah... In fact, I know all of my dongsaengs so well… It could happen,” Seunghyun replied.

 

Jong Suk is finally leaning on his back on the chair in disbelief. As far as he knows Seunghyun’s brothers, he does realized that the thing which crossed his mind right now might happen but he is not sure whether Seunghyun’s dongsaengs could really go to that extend to save him and looking at Seunghyun’s action right now, even Jong Suk starts to feel scared himself.

 

End of Flashback

 

“I am right, isn’t it??” Taeyang’s voice pulls him back to reality.

 

But this time, it’s not Jiyong who brings this up, but Taeyang, the very last person that crossed Jong Suk’s mind before this.

 

“We are doing our best to find a donor for Seunghyun, Taeyang-ah, and the effort has already been made since your hyung being diagnosed with this problem and we worked even harder to find a donor after the last surgery…” Jong Suk finally opens his mouth and he sees how Taeyang throws his back on the chair, leaning in defeat as he stares at him. “I’m sorry,”

 

“So, there is other way… He can survive…” Taeyang said and sounds almost like a whisper. Jong Suk doesn’t know whether Taeyang is talking to him or talking to himself.

 

“Taeyang-ahh…”

 

“Did he’s the one who made you kept this from Jiyong???” Taeyang suddenly asked and Jong Suk has no choice but to nod his head.

 

Taeyang let out a bitter laugh as he then bite his lip, thinking further on what to say or what to ask.

 

“So, any progress about the donor?” Taeyang asked again.

 

“Not yet… There is a long waiting list before him,” Jong Suk said with a heavy heart.

 

Taeyang nods his head understandingly, and he now stops asking question to Jong Suk. They are in silent for awhile till Taeyang suddenly nodding his head again and smiles at Jong Suk.

 

“Thank you so much for telling me this… And please do as what my hyung said, not to tell Jiyong or any of my dongsaengs about this. Even to Daesung or Seungri… Could you do that?” Taeyang asked.

 

Jong Suk gulps his saliva as he stares at Taeyang in the eyes. Seunghyun is indeed right, he knows his dongsaengs so well. Jong Suk nods his head.

 

“Thank you for your time too, Jong Suk-ah.. You are really my hyung’s greatest friend, and I’m glad he has someone like you with him. Thank you and I believe we will meet each other often after this because I’ll be staying with them from now on. And, can I ask something from you?” Taeyang said as he gets up from his seat, preparing to leave the room. Jong Suk gets up from his seat as well and he can’t help but to hate how these two brothers asking things from him.

 

“Please, don’t tell anyone about I meet you today? Can you do that for me?” Taeyang asked.

 

“Of course I can but with only one condition,” Jong Suk said.

 

Taeyang made a confused look at that sudden condition.

 

“Don’t do anything foolish,”

 

Taeyang stares at him first not answering that statement but then he slowly smiles at Jong Suk. He let out his right hand for a handshake and Jong Suk does the same. Taeyang just nods his head and then walks away, leaving the room without saying anything about what Jong Suk said just now.

 

These brothers will definitely be the death of me…..

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

It’s almost 4am and everyone is in their deep sleep, still with their usual position. Jiyong on the long couch, Daesung on the single couch, and Seungri on his usual chair beside Seunghyun’s bed but there is only one man that still does not close his eyes yet sitting in silent on the chair beside’s Seunghyun’s bed, across Seungri, with the glass window behind him and his eyes are solely fixes on his unconscious hyung on the bed. Taeyang can’t sleep for two nights now and just like yesterday, after came back from meeting someone, he spent his time sitting on the same chair and looking after Seunghyun. He spent his time looking at Seunghyun, waiting for his hyung to open his eyes. He can’t sleep and he is not dare to sleep too. He is so damn scared to close his eyes as if Seunghyun would leave if he closes his eyes.

 

Just like the previous night, he looks at Seunghyun in silent. He misses his hyung so much and only God knows how he really wants to come back to his family before this, but his anger and ego stops him and now he finally realized what his anger and ego has done to him. His anger and ego almost took his hyung’s life away.

 

“Seunghyun hyung wants you to come home even for a day; he wants you to come home. He wants to eat with you, having drinks with you, listen to you, and many other things. Just come home, hyung. Even for a day, just come home, stays with us. Let’s do everything together like before. Let’s have fun together like before and the most important thing, meet him hyung. Please meet him. I’m begging you wholeheartedly, please meet him; no one knows what God has planned for all of us in future. We certainly don’t have forever,”

 

Wake up hyung and let’s start all over again… Let’s do everything together.. Let’s eat together, let’s have drinks together, I will tell you about my life, about my music, and I’ll play my guitar again for you hyung… Let’s play together… Let’s make silly jokes about our dongsaengs… Let’s make Seungri bankrupt by playing monopoly and then throw him in the pool.. Let’s bully Daesung and makes him do things for us hyung… Then let’s steal Jiyong’s car and go somewhere nice to eat… Let’s do that hyung… I really want to eat the meals that you cook hyung so cook for me again hyung and I will eat all of it really well… I miss you hyung, don’t you miss me too?? I’m already here, so open your eyes and hug me… I want to hug you so bad…

 

Taeyang’s tears fall as he stares at Seunghyun. Help me hyung… I can’t carry this guilt within me anymore… I need you…

 

Suddenly a chocking sounds coming from Seunghyun and Taeyang immediately gets up from his chair and moves to Seunghyun. He looks at his hyung’s face and he can see Seunghyun’s eyeballs are moving even his eyes are close. Taeyang holds Seunghyun’s right hand right away.

 

“Hyung….” Taeyang calls in whispers. “Hyung….” He calls again.

 

Seunghyun’s eyes slowly flutters as his right hand is moving in Taeyang’s grip. Slowly, very slowly, after few seconds, Seunghyun is finally opens his eyes and Taeyang is finally smiling in joys.

 

“Hyung….” Taeyang calls again softly.

 

Seunghyun looks a bit chocked maybe because of the thick tube in his mouth, down to his throat and his heart rate is suddenly in speed. The beeping sounds drastically become in speed and this wake everyone in the room. Seungri is the first one to wake up and then followed by Daesung and Jiyong. They run to Seunghyun in panic but they see Taeyang is already at Seunghyun’s side.

 

“No… No.. Hyung… Don’t fight… It’s the tube… It’s the tube in your mouth… It’s okay hyung… It’s okay… Calm down… It’s only the tube,” Taeyang said repeatedly to calm Seunghyun that just conscious.

 

“Should we call the doctor????” Jiyong asked in panic.

 

“Yeah, just call him… Hyung is panic because of the tube,” Taeyang said in speed. Jiyong immediately pushes the red button near the bed to alert the nurse.

 

“Hyung…. Hyung…” Seungri started to cry because he is so damn panic when Seunghyun looks a bit unstable right now. Seungri is traumatized by the previous incident when he found Seunghyun at home but Daesung do the right thing by pulling Seungri into a hug to comfort him, while Taeyang is calming Seunghyun down.

 

Seunghyun’s eyes not looking so focus right now because his vision is not too clear but he can hears each and everyone voices around him. This thick tube is going down to his throat and making him in pain. He can hear someone is calming him down and that voice sounds so familiar to him.

 

“Hyung, look at me hyung.. Look at me.. It’s me.. Don’t fight the tube… Don’t fight it, just stay still… Calm down hyung,” the voice said.

 

Seunghyun blinks his eyes for few times to get a clearer vision and slowly a face came in and Seunghyun narrowing his eyes to get a proper vision of who is this man. Once his eyes managed to focus on the face, finally he can see clearly who is the owner of the voice that keeps on calming him down just now.

 

Taeyang moves his hand to Seunghyun’s head and caressing his hair softly when he realized that Seunghyun is slowly focusing on him, and not panicking because of the tube anymore. Taeyang finally smiles at his hyung for the first time till suddenly Seunghyun makes a sound, looks like he wants to say something to him. Taeyang immediately shakes his head in respond.

 

“Don’t hyung… Not now… Not now.. Later… We will talk later.. You can’t talk now, wait first okay… Later.. We will talk later,” Taeyang said softly. He can see how suddenly tears are forming in Seunghyun’s eyes while staring at him. Taeyang knows that his hyung wants to say a lot of things to him right now but this is not the right time.

 

Taeyang softly wipes the tears that rolling down from Seunghyun’s eyes. His hyung is looking at him sadly.

 

“It’s okay hyung.. I’m here now... I’m here... I’m not going anywhere… I’ll stay here with you, with dongsaengs, with our family. I’m here now… I won’t leave you anymore… I promise…” Taeyang said as his own tears dropping from his eyes and then he slowly moves to Seunghyun’s head and kiss his hyung’s forehead. “I’ll take care of you from now on, hyung….” He whispers to his hyung.

 

Seunghyun tries his best to speak again but he knows that his effort is useless for now, because of the tube in his mouth, but he can’t help the tears that fall from his eyes. Now, everyone is here with him, and this including the one who he has been waiting for all this time. Taeyang said that he will stay and won’t leave anymore and Seunghyun is just want to say one thing to Taeyang right now.

 

Hyung is so sorry for everything Taeyang-ah…