She walks slowly towards the door, slowly opening it a bit, silently peeking if there is anyone in there. She then sees the man that she wants to meet and he is alone in there, packing up his shirt. She wrinkles at that view. He is going to discharge today? He didn't tell her at all. She then opens the door properly now, slowly enters the room, with puzzling face. The man that currently is sitting on the side of his bed and busily wearing his watch, turns around and looking at the woman who enters the room. His bright expression fades slowly upon seeing her and he just let the woman to walk up at him slowly and finally stop in front of him with puzzling look on her face.

 

"Are you going home today?" she asked.

 

The man turns away from facing her and just nods his head in return, back to busily checking around if there are any of his belongings that he forgot to take with him.

 

"I thought you are going to stay here for few days more?"

 

"Nope," he answered shortly then he gets up from the bed, literally ignoring her and busily pretends to take his stuffs in the drawer. There is a small bag on the bed, which he puts his clothes that he wore the night before.

 

"Who is going pick you up?"

 

"Jiyong," he answered again shortly and now he is absently looking into his bag, trying so hard to ignore the woman who is just standing still beside him. He hears the woman sighing and the woman slowly taking a sit on the bed beside the bag, looking up at him in silent.

 

"Hyun-ah," she called softly.

 

Seunghyun stops at that soft calls of her but he just keep his view into the bag, refused to make an eye-contact with her who is waiting for him to say something.

 

"Why didn't you tell me that you are going home today?" she asked.

 

He didn't answer her but he just zips his bag and takes a deep breath. He wants to say something. He moves the bag down and put it on the floor and then he finally sits on the bed, beside the woman. She didn't takes her eyes off the man beside her and just be in silent and waiting for him. He looks bothered and she can feel that something is wrong and whatever that is going to come out from his mouth would not be a nice thing. She can sees that the man beside her is having a hard time to speak and just sit beside her in silent, as his hands are clasping with each other.

 

Just say it, even if it hurts, as long as the burden inside you can be lift, Hyun.

 

"Let's not meet each other anymore, Eun Hye," finally he said it.

 

She knew it. She knew that he would say this kind of thing but she can't help but to feel how those words hurt her inside. She never feels this kind of thing to other guys, and it never cross her right mind that she is able to feel this towards a man. What is this feeling? What is this that she feels in her heart? Why those simple words managed to hurt her? I'm hurt? Do I hurt by those words?

 

"Why?" she asked softly and still looking at him.

 

"This is wrong and you know it. I'm sorry, Eun Hye. I'm so sorry. This is entirely my fault. You are the result of me being selfish. I dragged you with me even if I knew so damn well that I can't promise you anything, even a future. So, where is this thing going? Where the hell are we going with this? Jong Suk was right. I shouldn't start all of these and this parade that I created; will only going to break your heart. I don't want you to stick with me just because I need someone by my side. This is unfair. Do you get what I meant? I started this and I need to end this too. I was so selfish by dragging you together with me just because I never have someone before. Eun Hye, let's stop this, you know what I meant. I was just using you because I need someone by my side, to listen to me and filling the emptiness in me, nothing more. You can call me or anything, I deserve that but this thing that we have right now, we need to end it because at the end, I will only need my family with me. I’m sorry, Eun Hye. Let’s not do this anymore,"

 

Eun Hye didn't even bother to listen to all his words but just look at him in silent and unfortunately she is fully understands what he said and again, she can feels inside of her is breaking by those words. Should I be angry about this? I should be angry right? I have all the right in this world to slap his face and leave, right? I can do that! But what the hell is this thing in me that refused to listen to what my mind is saying! Why I can’t move? Why? Why am I not angry at all? Is this love?

 

I fall for the wrong man or I fall at a wrong time? People's words are indeed true. The first is always the hardest and if there's a wound, it will be the deepest.

 

"Eun Hye…" Seunghyun calls her when he heard no response from her and finally looks at the woman beside him. His time stops when he sees the woman smiles.

 

"Hyun-ah… Do you love me?" she asked innocently and her sudden question takes him off guard. He loses his stand at the moment. He looks taken aback at the question but still Eun Hye looks at him with smiles on her face and waits. She looks in his eyes and he can't help but to looks in her eyes too.

 

"No.." he answered with his eyes still lock on her and the steadiness of his words, almost fools Eun Hye.

 

“Only the idiots can’t see that he loves you,”

 

She smiles. You almost fool me, Seunghyun-ah but yeah, it still hurts even if it is a lie. She finally gets up from the bed and moves to face him as she is standing in front of him who is still sit on the bed. She looks down at him and still with the smiles on her face.

 

"Okay, let's not meet each other anymore. Time's up, I guess," she said with a bright tone. She fakes it?

 

Seunghyun just looks at her without saying a word. He can't read this woman at all. He doesn't know what is going on her head at the moment but he can feels those smiles on her are indeed fake.

 

"But can I kiss you before you leave?"

 

Seunghyun's eyes widen at that request. Eun Hye let out a small laugh upon seeing his shock reaction and without even a warning, she moves up her hands to cup his face, then she just cut the gap between them letting her lips touch his and close her eyes at the same time. She kisses him softly. This kiss is not like the last night kiss. Last night kiss was beautiful and sweet but this one is different. This is just a like parting kiss. She is already missing him even he is still here with her. Seunghyun is shock when Eun Hye suddenly kisses him but at the moment he feels her lips on his, he can't help but to finally close his eyes even he is fighting the urge to kiss her back. Eun Hye then slowly opens her eyes and moves away when she feels that he didn't return her kiss. It still hurts even if it is a lie. She takes a proper look at the man who still closes his eyes.

 

"Hyun-ah…." She whispers. "I won't let you die," she said again.

 

Seunghyun opens his eyes back at those words and found Eun Hye is looking at him smiling.

 

"I think that's the part of loving someone, we have to give things up or there are times when we actually even have to give them up, but Choi Seunghyun, just like what I promised you earlier. I won't let you die. Remember that," she said. She then retreats from him slowly and looks around her.

 

"Well, I guess you already finished packing. Have a good time at home, rest well and take care of yourself okay? I'll leave first, bye," Eun Hye waves at him brightly and then she takes her steps away from him walks out leaving the room. Once the door close, at that very moment, Seunghyun is like being pull to the reality harshly. Who leaves who now? What he had done to her and what he had done to himself. He stares emptily at the space which before this was fills with her presence and slowly his mind is rewinding back to the words that Eun Hye said to him since last night.

 

“Let’s ditch this concert and let’s go grab foods and drinks somewhere and stream the concert. We don’t have to go through the crowd and loud sounds and there will be only just the two of us. I’m perfectly fine and totally fine about this as long as I watch it with you,”

"Choi Seunghyun! You ! You scared the hell out of me,"

"I can't believe that I just had my first kiss in an ambulance,"

"I won't let you die,"

"I think that's the part of loving someone, we have to give things up or there are times when we actually even have to give them up,"

 

She loves me. That fact hit him hard.

 

"Don't meet her anymore hyung,"

His dongsaeng.

"Taeyang wants to come home,"

 

Seunghyun close his eyes tightly, with intention to wash away the greed that he feels inside. The feelings of wanting for more. Since the very beginning, he only wants his dongsaeng and that's all, nothing more. That is what he wishes for everyday and never once it occurred to him, there will be other things coming in the way. He can't have her even if he wants to.

 

“I need to give you up,” he whispers to himself.

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

“Seungri-ah, stop staying in your room! Come out! What are you doing?” Daesung called his dongsaeng from the stairs till he finally reached Seungri’s room and he found Seungri is sitting quietly at his study table. Daesung walks quietly to his dongsaeng and once he is behind his maknae, he frowned looking at what his maknae is doing at the moment. His maknae is studying.

 

“What the hell are you doing? It’s Saturday! Weekend! You went to a concert last night and now you are studying in the middle of the day???? Why are you such a good boy lately? Studying all the time?” Daesung asked as he standing behind Seungri and taking a look at the book that his maknae is reading right now.

 

“Why hyung? What do you want from me?” Seungri asked him back while busily jotting down notes from the reference book.

 

“You should entertain me, as today is weekend, should be no school, and no books. Let’s play game, Ri-ah. Hyung will switch on the tv, in the game room,” Daesung said brightly.

 

“Hyung, let me study for awhile, then I’ll entertain you,” Seungri said softly, without even lifting his head to meet his Daesung’s eyes. Daesung wrinkles at that answer and he did find Seungri acting a bit weird lately since he caused problem the other night. Weird means that Seungri is acting so nice and he has been behaving so well lately, no more troubles, no grumpiness, no shouting, and he didn’t even answer his hyung back like he usually does. He either helping the hyungs, reads, play with his phone and just stay at home like a good kid. He didn’t ask them to buy anything lately. As Daesung thought earlier, Seungri is indeed behaving so well and this doesn’t suit him at all.

 

“Seungri-ah… Do you have problems?” Daesung suddenly voice out his thoughts and his sudden question managed to make Seungri stops from writing his notes and finally lifts up his head to meet his hyung’s eyes. Seungri looks at Daesung weirdly.

 

“Hyung, what is wrong with you? What makes you think I have problems?” Seungri asked him back.

 

“No… You are just weird lately. Behaving so well and studying all the time and don’t try to deny this okay! I know you so damn well,”

 

“Hyung, you sound even weirder, you know. What is wrong with behaving well? Isn’t it great, I became good? You are the one who always complain about me, and now I behaving well, you said that I have problems. Which one do you want me to be?”

 

“Kyaa! Are you angry now?"

 

“No…”

 

“Then?”

 

“What?”

 

“Seungri, my maknae is a bright boy, with a wide smile, cheerful, laughing hard, teasing hard, and he might cause troubles all the time, but that is how my maknae is and I love him as the way he is. He doesn’t have to be different,”

 

Seungri turns away from his hyung and face his books back. He is just keep quiet at that sudden statement from Daesung and the usual Seungri will get up from his seat and hugs his hyung hard by hearing that but now, Seungri just be in silent, didn’t even bother to respond to Daesung’s words. Daesung notices this and he is agreed with himself, that his maknae is indeed having problems that he refused to tell.

 

“Dae, hyung wants to go to fetch Seunghyun hyung from the hotel; you and Seungri stay at home okay. A maid will come in 30 mins, let her tidying up the house and Taeyang hyung’s room,” Jiyong’s sudden interruption caused Daesung to turn around and looks at the door and finds Jiyong already in his new clean shirt.

 

Daesung doesn’t know at what time Jiyong arrived at home and he refused to ask as he can see that Jiyong is a bit tired. Jiyong told them last night that he needs to meet Seunghyun for some business matter and Seunghyun won’t be home last night because of some problems with the work. Daesung was a bit weird looking at Jiyong who came home alone without Seunghyun but judging from how tired Jiyong’s face is, Daesung doesn’t want to ask further, he believes Jiyong will tell him what happened but surprisingly to both of them, Seungri didn’t ask further too as he just easily nodding to whatever Jiyong explained to them. Usually, Seungri will make a big fuss about it and will begs to Jiyong to follow him or he will ask hundreds of question of why Seunghyun is not home with him, but that morning, Seungri just easily nodding when Jiyong said that Seunghyun needs to stay in the hotel because he needs to attend an early morning appointment there. Seungri just nods his head and eat his breakfast in silent that morning.

 

Now, Seungri is again keeping quiet when Jiyong said he wants to go to fetch Seunghyun from the hotel. He didn’t ask about Seunghyun’s car or something else.

 

“It’s Saturday, hyung. Maid usually comes on Monday,” Daesung asked.

 

“Seunghyun hyung asked them to come today because Taeyang hyung is coming home. The house should be clean,”

 

“Taeyang hyung is coming home, which means, he will go to US after that?” Daesung asked again.

 

Jiyong didn’t answer that question but his face looks a bit worried. “Let’s put that US part aside first. Let him come home, okay? I need to make a move now, you wait for the maids, Dae,” Jiyong said and then he leaves them in the room. Then, Daesung slowly is looking back at his maknae who is just staring at his books, not saying anything and doesn’t even gives any reactions to what Jiyong was saying just now. Daesung can feel that right now is not the right time to talk to his maknae, so he just ruffles his maknae’s hair and slowly leaves him and walks out of the room. Once the door close, Seungri closes his eyes and let out a heavy sighs.

 

Flashback

Seungri: Hyung, where are you?

Daesung: Class.

Seungri: I’ll come back quite late okay. Study group and basketball training. I already told the driver not to pick me up. I’ll come back by bus with friends.

Daesung: How late is that?

Seungri: Should be home by 7pm.

Daesung: Why so late?

Seungri: Stop being overly-attached hyung =.=

Daesung: Kyaaa! You want to get hit that much? Just come home straight as soon as you finish with everything.

Seungri: Alright. Don’t miss me too much.

Daesung: Shut up!

Seungri: Bye hyung. Saranghae <333

 

Seungri chuckled as he sent the text, then he keeps walking in the street alone heading to where he already planned before this. Yes, he just lied to Daesung because there is no study group or basketball training but he just need to do this, because he can’t wait anymore and he can’t stop worrying, he just need to know about this. Finally he steps stop in front of a pharmacy and after taking a deep breath, he pushes the door and get inside. He walks to the counter and finally meets a lady who works there.

“Yes, Sir. How can I help you?”the lady asked politely.

“Oh yeah, hmm.. Actually I need to ask something about these few medicine because I found it somewhere. I don’t know how to pronounce it but I can spell it for you. Can you help me on that?” Seungri asked.

“Yes, of course Sir,” the lady smiled and she take out a piece of paper and a pen for Seungri to write down the name of the medicines. Seungri took the pen and started to write.

Angiotensin & Digoxin

“These two meds,” Seungri said as he gives the paper back to the lady. The lady nods her head understandingly like she knows about those two meds.

“Alright Sir, can you give a minute?” the lady asked and Seungri just nods his head and let the lady leaves to the back.

Seungri gulps his saliva as he waits for the lady to come back. Part of him, he doesn’t want to know, part of him, he needs to know. Something is wrong, he can feel it. He can go browse about the meds through the internet, but he seems can’t to bring himself to browse about the meds that way. He needs explanation from the experts. Seungri didn’t think that those meds are for fever or flu or whatever. Judging from the bottle of meds that he saw last time when he entered Seunghyun’s room, all of it looks different. Like it was for a serious illness and to make his assumption even stronger, from his view Seunghyun didn’t look so fine to him too. Seungri feels so nervous while waiting for the lady to come out, and tries to ease his feelings of waiting by tapping his foot on the floor, scratching his head, ruffling his hair, till finally the lady come out with the two exact bottles that he found in Seunghyun’s room. Oh, please make it a flu meds or migraine or coughs syrup or something else, but not for something serious. Seungri moves back to the counter while staring at those bottles.

“These are the bottles am I right?” the question from the lady made Seungri startled. He looks at her and nods.

“May I know who owns these meds Sir? Your father?”

“Erm.. No… Hmm.. Well, I found these in my hyung’s room, I think these belongs to him,” Seungri answered with wariness on his face. “Why? What are those meds for?”

The lady gasps a bit at that explanation and she looks a bit uneasy to speak.

“Well, I think I’m not in the position to tell you this, I suggest for you to meet your hyung and ask him, whether these meds are really his,”

“Are you kidding me? If I can ask him, I won’t be here and ask you. For godsake, just tell me what these meds are for?”Seungri’s voice started to rise and everyone in the pharmacy is looking at him. The lady however looks concern but she takes a deep breath before she speaks.

“Well, alright Sir, I’ll explain it to you one by one. I already make a double confirmation; these meds are actually for a chronic heart failure patient. Digoxin here is needed when the patient’s heart is weakened; therefore he needs these to help his weakened heart to send blood through the body and helps the heart to work more efficiently. It strengthens the force of the heart muscle contractions and improves the blood circulation. As for the Angiotensin here, it is used to lower the blood pressure for patient that has a heart failure. It helps to keep the blood vessels as wide as possible so the blood can flow through the body more easily. Usually the patient won’t take these meds at the same time, but it depends on what therapy he is having right now. Based on these meds, I can tell that the patient is having a chronic heart failure,” the lady explained slowly to make Seungri understands what she is saying right now.

She looks at Seungri’s blank face and how a tear drops from his eye. This is the reason why the lady is a bit reluctant to explain it to him earlier because she knows that this boy in front of her doesn’t know anything about his hyung’s illness. Seungri feels like the time has stops around him and his ears are deafening at the moment. If there is a sound of heart breaking, Seungri is damn sure that he can hear it now. His both hands shiver and he can’t think of anything at this time. His hyung… Seunghyun hyung… His hyung is that sick? Is this the reason why he changed?

“Sir?”

“What do you mean by heart failure?” Seungri lifts up his head to meet the lady’s eyes and not even bothered to wipe his tears. He can’t wipe his tears, his hands are shivering.

“Heart failure is a condition where the heart can’t pump enough blood to meet the body’s need and this caused blood and fluid to back up in to the lungs, edema, tiredness or shortness of breath,”

Those symptoms reminds Seungri to the time when his hyung went to fetch him up from school, when his hyung saved him from the lorry. Oh my! Was his illness relapsed that time? Seungri takes a deep breath to control himself.

“Will… Will he die?” Seungri asked again.

“If he already at the end-stage of heart failure….” And the lady can’t continue with her words anymore when she sees more tears from the boy in front of her. Seungri can’t hold it in anymore till he finally burst into tears right in front of the lady and this time the whole people in the pharmacy stops and turns to look at him who is crying at the counter. The lady already expected this as she then pats his back slowly.

“Go home and ask him first, this might not be his,” the lady comforts him softly.

Seungri shakes his violently. “These are his,” he said in his tears and finally turns around, runs out from the pharmacy.

End of flashback

 

Seungri’s tears drop again and he can’t help it this time. He shoved the books away and put his both hands on the table and drops his head on his hands, crying in silent. That is why Seungri has changed a lot since that day he came to know about Seunghyun’s illness. He doesn’t want to cause any troubles that can makes Seunghyun worried about him. Seungri didn’t join the basketball team anymore, because after school, he will straightly come home, and do the necessary things but always the first one that he will looks for when he reached home, is his eldest hyung. If Seunghyun is not in the house, he will bother everyone to ask about his eldest whereabouts, and once he found him, Seungri will stick with him the whole time. He will spend his time by studying and he didn’t even ask for many things now, and because of the changes are too obvious, Daesung and Jiyong definitely notice about it but Seunghyun never once complains about it.

 

I would do anything for you hyung, I will be a good kid, I will listen to you, I will study hard, I will do whatever you want me to do but please, don’t leave us like this. 

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Eun Hye just finished with her round when she enters her room. She takes off her coat and lazily put it on the couch in her room and walks slowly to her desk and slams her body on the chair. She closes her eyes, as she tries to finally have her rest after hectic rounds that she had just now. She voluntarily took over two patients from other doctors and did a thorough check up on them. She also did the unbelievable by voluntarily to join in a big surgery that is scheduled tomorrow morning and that surgery is estimated to last about more than 10 hours. She let out a small laughs as she remembers back what she just let herself gotten into.

 

She is indeed voluntarily to do everything, taking over everything and working nonstop like crazy and she already planned in her head about her schedule through the remaining week. She will fill in every single of her free times with work. She needs that. She needs work. She can’t let herself to be free or else she will think about something that she didn’t want to think, or to be more accurate, someone. Eun Hye opens her eyes and turns to her table, with intention to open the medical reports and few records that she needs to complete but her eyes stop at one piece of paper on her desk. A circular. She reads it word by word, line by line and then she reread it once more just to be sure of what she is reading right now.

 

That is a circular that saying she will be transferred to a hospital in London which needs a specialist urgently there. That circular is approved directly from the hospital’s director. What the is going on right here? Today is indeed not a good day for her. Eun Hye takes the paper roughly, gets up from her seat to meet the one who approves this circular without even telling her first, which is her father. She walks out of her room and she is obviously looks so pissed and no one is daring enough to stops her in the middle. She uses the elevator and pushes the button, going up to his father’s room. Once she arrives and walks passed the glass sliding door, she is stopped by a man who is the assistant of her father.

 

“Yes, Dr. Yoon. Is there anything that I can help you with?” the man asked politely.

 

“I want to meet with the Director,”

 

“He has a guest at the moment, please come again later,”

 

“What makes you think that I will listen to you? I want to meet my father now!” Eun Hye said as she pushes him away and just walks till she is in front of the door and straight away turn the door knob open and revealed there in the room, her father with an old man who is about the same age with her father. She stands there in silent but just looks straight at her father without acknowledging the other person in the room.

 

“I’m so sorry Sir, I stopped her already but…” the assistant stops at his trails of words when the older man just lifts up his right hand as a sign to stop.

 

“It’s okay, Sung Jae. Just let her in, you can leave,” her father said calmly.

 

The assistant just bows his head and walks out leaving the room. The situation is still in awkward silent as Eun Hye is still standing there, near the door.

 

“Well, this is not a good impression, Mr. Jung but still I’ve to apologize on my daughter’s behalf,” Dr. Yoon Seung Won said carefully to the guest near him.

 

“It’s okay, I understand. There must be a problem, so I think I have to make a move now, Doctor. About what I said earlier, please help me with that, for old time sake. Please,” the other old man said as he then gets up from his seat and exchanges a handshake with Eun Hye’s father. Yoon Seung Won just nodding his head understandingly and then he walks the guest to the door. Eun Hye just moves a bit and finally bowing down to the guest as a greeting. The guest just nods his head and walks out from the room followed by her father. Eun Hye is now in the room alone and she walks to the couch but she has no intention to sit as she still feels so damn angry with what she read just now. She heard the door being open and she turns around, then she meets with her father who also looks so damn pissed at her.

 

“Who do you think you are just now? Barged into my room like you own this goddamn hospital?” Seung Won raised his voice at his daughter and what he gets in return just an angry stare from her. “What!”

 

“Just what the hell is this thing that you sent to me!?” Eun Hye said as she shows the paper to her father and just by looking at the paper, her father already knows what is that and he just ignore her and walks to his desk. “Woah! Seriously? You are going to ignore me like this! Appa! What is this? Why are you sending me away?”

 

“Sending you away? Stop being so childish Eun Hye that is for work so stop making it like it is a big deal. That is not the first time you fill in the urgent call for that hospital. Just prepare the necessary and go there. They need a heart specialist right away, and I already gave them a call so they will prepare all the necessary for you too. You knew the procedure; you don’t need me to explain more. Just finish up your paperwork here, and then leave,” Seung Won said without even look at his one and only daughter.

 

“Appa! I won’t leave,”

 

Seung Won finally lifts up his head to see his daughter’s face that is standing in front of him, staring at him in anger, obviously showing her disagreement. The last time he saw that kind of expression was when she refused to further her studies in medicine. This daughter of him never wanting to further her studies in medicine at the first place as she loves art so much and wanted to further her studies in that particular course but being a strict single father, Eun Hye obviously can’t say no to her one and only father and end up taking the medicine course nevertheless.

 

“Eun Hye..”

 

“Why suddenly you wanting me to go back to London? Don’t you like me being here with you?”

 

“Eun Hye…”

 

“No, appa! I won’t go. I don’t care,”

 

“Why are you so eager to stay right now? Before this, it won’t be a problem for you to go to London and stay there. You even will be so damn excited to go there and now you wanting to stay here so bad! Why???”

 

“Can’t I stay??? What reasons needed when I can stay here with you?”

 

“Are you staying here for me or for someone else?”

 

Eun Hye is taken aback at that question as she didn’t see the question coming at all. She stares at her father, silently asking whether this is the reason for him wanting her to leave. He knew.

 

“Why? Suddenly loss of words?” her father asked her. “I knew what you did and I think it’s time to stop, Eun Hye,”

 

Oh this is another one who wanting to stop things which mean there are two persons in one day that asking her for the same damn thing.

 

“Appa…”

 

“No.. Do as what I said,”

 

“Appa, please..”

 

“Eun Hye! You did the wrong thing, and appa didn’t say a single thing about it so don’t make me. You have done enough so stop this, and go to London. There is nothing for you here,”

 

“What is the thing that I’ve done that seems so wrong to you? What? That I finally fall in love with someone?” Eun Hye said and her words finally managed to make her father gets up from his seat and stand in front of her.

 

“You fall for the wrong person! That’s the problem! I never stop you from having a relationship with anyone and I will never get in the middle with your love life but Yoon Eun Hye! Out of many people in this world, must it be our patient? A man who is literally counting his days to live! Are you out of your mind? He can’t even promise you a future, Eun Hye. There are a lot of men out there, and appa can even find for you someone, but not him. I don’t care, so stop this parade, pack your things and go to London,”

 

Eun Hye just keep in silent while listening to her father’s words and not even bring herself to answer back to her father. She bites her trembling as she is not sure what her feelings right now are. Anger? Sadness? Frustrated? These mixed feelings inside her are breaking her heart even more.

 

“So I am right.. You are really sending me away. This is not because of work,” she said slowly as her tears finally drop. The tears that she has been holding in since morning and now she can’t hold it in anymore. Two men that she loves the most just break her heart. Seung Won turns away; refused to meet his daughter’s teary eyes that staring at him with sadness. “Appa… Can’t we compromise this time?”

 

“Eun Hye….”

 

“Appa, I’ve nothing here, and I’ve nothing there too but at least I can live normally here. About that guy, we ended it already, so please don’t worry about it. I don’t even have any relationship with him at the first place. It was a mere mistake that we made, that’s all, nothing more. So, please appa. Let’s compromise for this one. I will forget him, and focus with my work from now on. Appa, please don’t send me away. I’ve never ask anything from you and I always listen to you no matter what but for this one, please I’m begging you. Don’t send me away, let me stay here. Please, appa,” Eun Hye begs to her father and this is the first time in her life, she ever begs to him for something. No matter how much she dislikes the thing that her father asked her to do; she would do it anyway for her father sake. She has no one in her life except her father. She lost her mother when she was still a kid and she already promised herself that she would listen to her father’s word in everything, but this time. Only this time, she begs to her father to let her do what she wants.

 

Seung Won moves from his place and walks slowly to his daughter and when he reached her, he holds her shoulders and looks into her eyes. Seung Won hates the fact that his action is making his strong daughter to cry.

 

“Eun Hye-ah, listen here, this is for your own good and I know you so well. You won’t forget him,”

 

“What makes you think that by staying in London will make me forget about him?”

 

“Eun Hye, he will come here again, having treatment so tell me, can you really stay away from him? Can you control yourself from meeting him again?”

 

She is loss of words once again. She doesn’t know what to answer this time. She can’t lie, she can’t hide it anymore.

 

“That is why appa wants you to leave. This is the best,” Seung Won continues.

 

Eun Hye is in silent for few seconds, as she looks in deep thinking as she moves away from her father and walks slowly to the couch. She finally sits on the couch, refused to let out a word and Seung Won just knows his daughter so well. She gives her best in everything that she does, she did her best in schools, she did her best in her studies, she did her best in her job and as for love, Seung Won is damn sure once she falls, she’s going to fall hard. She will be like him. He can’t even forget his wife who was his first love and how his daughter will ever forget this one man.

 

“Appa… I won’t stay in 12^th floor. Instead of making me going to London, let me change department,” Eun Hye said suddenly.

 

Seung Won wrinkles at that request and he stares at his daughter till Eun Hye turns her head to face her father. “Appa, let’s compromise this time. Don’t send me away, let me change department. I won’t see him and I won’t meet him. Let’s do that,” she said with determine in her eyes.

 

“Eun Hye…”

 

“Appa, let me join Emergency & Trauma Dept,”

 

This time, it is Seung Won’s turn for not knowing what to say.

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Jiyong drives the car in silent but there are few times he cast a glance to his side, take a look at his hyung who is not talking since he fetched him up from the hospital and now his eldest hyung is sleeping peacefully at the passenger’s seat with his head at the window. He does look tired right now and Jiyong doesn’t want to disturb him. He stops the car at the red light and again he looks at his side towards Seunghyun.

 

Hyung, do you remember when we were kids? We dongsaengs will be so happy when you came home from work and you will bring foods for us. How you told us not to scramble with each other for the foods and I forgot how at the end, you will end up feeding each one of us to make sure all of us eat but we never ask you whether you have eaten or not. I don’t know at what time you will finally fall asleep but then another day will come and you will go out for work. How you gave long reminders to Taeyang hyung to look after us at school and you will send Seungri to our neighbor before going to work. We will go through the same routine every day, waiting for you to come home. We went crazy and anxious if you were late and you didn’t know how relieved we were that time when we finally see you entering the house. No matter how long you went away for works, you will always come back hyung and we were already used to that. No matter how busy you are, no matter how long you’ve gone for work, and no matter how late you are, we knew you will always come back. No matter how many times you have leave, you will always come back. You are there somewhere, working. That’s the idea. But what will happen after this hyung? What will happen if you won’t come back after this? Do you know how scared I am right now? Do you know how scared Daesung is right now? The idea of not having you with us is scaring us to death! What should we do without you, hyung? I am desperate. We are desperate.

 

The sound of honk managed to startle those two brothers as Jiyong finally turns his view to the traffic light and it is green, he needs to start driving back.

 

“Are you okay?” a deep voice asking and Jiyong turns his head to see his hyung who is already awake. Maybe the honking sound just wakes him up.

 

“Yeah, hyung. I’m okay. Sleep back hyung, I will wake you up once we reach home,” Jiyong said as he coughs a little to clear his throat.

 

“It’s okay. Sleeping makes hyung more tired,” he answered as he looks out through the window. “Ji…” Seunghyun called his dongsaeng softly while his eyes still looking at those buildings around him.

 

“Yes hyung,”

 

“When Taeyang is coming back?”

 

Jiyong can’t help but to sigh at that question. It’s always Taeyang. Seunghyun hyung is missing him.

 

“I need to call him first hyung, and then I’ll ask him,”

 

“Hmm…”

 

Then, the situation becomes quiet again and Jiyong just continue with his driving till his eldest hyung calls for him again.

 

“Ji….”

 

“Yes, hyung,”

 

“Did Dae and Seungri know that Taeyang is coming home?”

 

“Yes, I told them already,”

 

“Did they know about the condition?”

 

“Err.. Yes, hyung..”

 

“Hmm.. They must be freaking mad about it,”

 

“I already talked to them hyung, they will be okay,”

 

“Seungri won’t be okay,”

 

“I will talk to him,”

 

“Hmm..”

 

“Hyung, don’t worry. Everyone is okay right now. Don’t think too much,”

 

“Ji, how’s office?”

 

“Everything is going as planned hyung and I’ve Mr. Jung and Hye Jung with me. For now, everything is fine at the office,”

 

“Any news from HanShin Group?”

 

“Nothing for now but I will look into it later. Hyung, I told not to worry, isn’t it. I can handle this. Just rest,”

 

Seunghyun smiles at those words and finally he turns around to face his dongsaeng beside him who is still focusing on his driving. He ruffles his dongsaeng’s orange hair with his left hand and Jiyong fake an annoyed face to his hyung caused the older to laugh lightly.

 

“Have you ever thought of changing your hair color? Maybe back to black?” suddenly Seunghyun asked while he stares at his dongsaeng’s hair.

 

“Why, I like this color,”

 

“Too bright,”

 

“Suits me well,”

 

“Didn’t you find it funny that a Director of a big company is having an orange hair? Not professional at all. Just imagine you chairing a board meeting with that hair. Instead of looking at you, people are looking at your hair. “Look at the Director’s hair, he must love tangerine so much,”’ Seunghyun jokes then he laughs at his own joke but Jiyong just threw him an annoyed face.

 

“You want me to change my hair to black back? Like yours? Hyung, let’s do this. I change my hair color back to black, and you change your hair color to something else?” Jiyong starts to get excited about his own idea.

 

Seunghyun smiles at that request and he finally relief once he sees Jiyong’s excited face. He just misses that face of him.

 

“Nope,” Seunghyun directly decline the offer.

 

“Hyung…. Let’s do that. I never see you with different hair color,”

 

“I don’t have reasons to change it,”

 

“Now, you have,”

 

“And what is that?”

 

“I want it. I want you to change your hair color,”

 

Seunghyun smiles as he then turns his view to the front. Jiyong is indeed knows his weakness.

 

“Hyung.. Say something. Let’s do that okay? We call hair stylist to come to our house and then we just do it at home. You don’t have to go to the hair salon.”

 

“What makes you think I will agree with this?” Seunghyun asked with amused expression as they then finally reach their house.

 

“You will,” Jiyong just grins at his hyung as he drives the car into the lawn and then he finally parks the car.

 

“Wait! What you told them earlier?” Seunghyun asked right before he wants to get off of the car.

 

“I told them that you have urgent meeting this morning and decided to pull off the night at the hotel. Don’t worry hyung,” Jiyong answered assuring the older guy who again looks worried.

 

Seunghyun nods his head and gets off of the car and Jiyong followed him and takes his hyung’s bag with him. They walk to the house and right before Jiyong manage to dial up the house password, the door is already open by Daesung with his big smile on his face.

 

“HYUNG!!!” Daesung spring up to Seunghyun with open arms and gives his big hyung a tight hug. “Hyung, don’t stay at the hotel anymore. No matter how late your work is, just come home hyung. I miss you already. Let’s go in, we are cooking for dinner. Your favorite,” Daesung said as he then pulls Seunghyun into the house. Jiyong just looks at his dongsaeng’s action with a gaping mouth.

 

“Kyaa! Do you only have one hyung? How about me?” Jiyong asked with unsatisfied manner but deep inside, he is so thankful that Daesung welcome them in a cheerful manner. Seunghyun needs that. He needs to be sure that his dongsaengs are alright.

 

Daesung then walks to Jiyong and pulls him to into the house with him while Seunghyun already walks in and heading towards the kitchen where he found his maknae is in apron and currently is cutting the onion. Seungri finally lifts up his head from the cutting board and look at his Seunghyun hyung. Seungri smiles at him widely.

 

“Can you cook, Ri-ah,” Seunghyun asked as he walks to his maknae, smirking at him.

 

“Hyung you should try my cooking tonight. You will be shock!!” the maknae replied as he continues to cut the onions.

 

“Of course I’ll be shock. I’ll be shock on how bad it will taste,” Seunghyun jokes at his maknae but all he got in return is just a deathly glare from Seungri. His laugh died at that glare. “Okay.. Okay.. Just cook, I won’t disturb you. I hope it is edible though,” Seunghyun continues as he takes a look of what is cook in the pot on the stove. It smells nice and he just smiles then ruffles Seungri’s hair as usual.

 

“Well, I’ve an announcement to make,” Jiyong’s voice suddenly emerges and everyone in the kitchen look at him with puzzling look. Jiyong smiles evilly to his eldest hyung before he speaks. “Well, Seunghyun hyung wants to change his hair color,” Jiyong announced and then he laughs at his own words. Daesung and Seungri straight away stare at Seunghyun with wide eyes. Seunghyun really wants to smack Jiyong’s head right now.

 

“Don’t listen to him,” Seunghyun said.

 

“What color hyung?” Daesung asked nevertheless.

 

“No! I’m not changing my hair color. Don’t listen to Jiyong. You know how his mouth works, right? Cheap mouth!” Seunghyun throws a deathly glare to his dongsaeng who is grinning from ear to ear as he sits at the dining table.

 

“Well, it is not a bad idea, hyung. I would love to see you in different hair color. You never dye your hair even once,” Seungri said as he looks at his hyung beside him.

 

“Yes, hyung. Why not? Let’s think of the color. What color you love hyung?” Daesung asked.

 

Seunghyun close his eyes tightly, clearly hating this situation. Jiyong is definitely an . He opens his eyes back and looks at Jiyong who is happily sitting there, looking at him.

 

“I won’t change my hair color,” Seunghyun said it again.

 

“Ah hyung~~~~” Seungri started to whine at him. Seunghyun’s ultimate weakness is Seungri’s whine. He hates it when Seungri do that to him and he will ends up giving what he wants. Daesung is currently looking at him with puppy eyes, silently begging to his eldest hyung to agree with them.

 

“Let’s do it for fun, hyung. I will change my hair color to black in exchange,” Jiyong said.

 

Daesung and Seungri immediately stare at their other hyung. They know damn well how Jiyong loves his current hair color and his offers to change it to black is just shocking to them. Seunghyun and Jiyong looks at each other. Seunghyun is biting his lips thinking hard and Jiyong is just smirking while waiting for his hyung to say yes.

 

“I want to kill you Ji..” Seunghyun said with a grim face.

 

“Is that a yes??” Jiyong asked with wide eyes.

 

“Ahh, I really want to curse… You guys decide the color, hyung needs to lie down,” Seunghyun said giving up to his dongsaeng’s request as he then moves away, leaving the kitchen. The loud cheering sounds are deafening his ears right now as all his dongsaengs are laughing so hard at him and cheering between them on how cool his decision is. Kids!

 

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Taeyang is having a drink in a private bar in the middle of Seoul with his manager, Kuch when a text suddenly comes in. While laughing with his manager, he checks the text and his laughs immediately died as soon as he read the text.

Jiyong: I told Seunghyun hyung about your terms, and he said yes. He asked when you are going to come home.

He sighs as he read it and then he just throws his phone lazily on the bar counter without even replying the text. He takes another shot of drink without saying anything. This goes unnoticed to Kuch as he stares at Taeyang and he understands that look so well. Family matters as usual.

 

“That look on your face, I know it so well already Taeyang,” Kuch starts.

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Taeyang replied lazily as he stares at his now empty glass.

 

“Well, what is it this time?”

 

“They want me to come home,”

 

“Well, that’s not a new thing. Just go home like you usually do. Have dinner or lunch with them at home. That’s not your first time,”

 

“This time is different,”

 

“What?”

 

Taeyang sighs at that question as he close his eyes before he speaks. “They want me to come home for real now. I mean for good,” he said as he opens his eyes back.

 

Kuch raised his eyebrows at that answer but later nodding his head understandingly.

 

“What did you tell them then?”

 

“You knew my answer already. I said no to them,”

 

“Taeyang…”

 

“Don’t start Kuch… Not now,”

 

“A family is still a family no matter what, and you know this very well,”

 

Taeyang really wants to throws away the glass that he is holding right now but he ends up hold it even tighter. Kuch noticed this and he shakes his head looking at how stubborn his artist who he already considers likes dongsaeng. He moves his right hand to Taeyang’s left shoulder and squeezes it firmly.

 

“You know your family better. They want you to come back this bad just showing how much they love you Taeyang-ah. So, stop being so stubborn and making things worse. They want you back. Don’t you love them too? Don’t you miss them as much as they miss you? If you continue doing this, you will just deny yourself a chance to happiness. I know you were hurt by your hyung before this but don’t you think that he was hurting himself too when he did that to you?” Kuch said and this is his first time commenting about this issue. He knows Taeyang’s story from the very beginning since 4 years ago but he never said anything about it as he doesn’t want to hurt Taeyang’s feelings but this time it’s different. Taeyang is being egoistic and hurting his family in the process. He needs to say something. “As much as he hurts you, he hurt himself too, Taeyang,”

 

Those last words really touch Taeyang’s heart and for the first time in 5 years, since the incident, Taeyang let himself think about Seunghyun. His serious, strict and quiet hyung. His one and only hyung. He has three dongsaengs after him but he only has one hyung. His tears drop as he reminding himself about that fact.

 

Kuch pats that man’s back, comforting him in silent and he knows right now, that man needs his time alone to think further. To reflect what he has done, what he has gone through. Kuch decides to leave first as he then makes a move without saying anything and he knows Taeyang won’t mind. He needs his time alone.

 

Taeyang just sit in silent as the bartender pours him another shot without being asked and Taeyang just let him pour him the drink.

 

“You can leave the house, if that’s what you want,”