32/65 "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified./I wish you could see yourself the way I see you"

Pairing: Mika/Yuu

This is a special request for my adorable little sister. (as you can all see that it's not BTS but MikaYuu from Owari no Seraph)

Word Count: 1954

Being on the run was tiring. Being separated from your group, no your family, was worrisome. Being all alone would have been horrible but Yuu had Mika. As tired and worried that he was about the others he had to focus. He had to be in the here and now, he had to forge ahead for the family that was right next to him. He had to take care of the one person he knew he could never let go of again. Mika was a lot of things to Yuu, his brother, his best friend, his family and...well Mika held a special place in Yuu’s heart that could never be snuffed out, erased, scratched out; never could he be replaced.

The problem with being on the run and trying to be strong for one another while stifling your other emotions that were truly bursting at the seams was that it was easy to snap. It was easy to get annoyed with the very person you held so dear. It was easy to snap at the squirrel you were trying to catch for dinner but the damn thing got away. Throwing his weapon on the ground in the worst type of obnoxious hissy fit one could have, Yuu did just that. Cursing under his breath, as Mika came up without his vampire like speed that he knew was capable of and used just a moment ago as he was holding the squirrel with a broken neck in his hand. “Here Yuu-chan.” Holding out the prey that Yuu couldn’t seem to catch for the last thirty three minutes, the raven haired bow wanted to pout and perhaps knock the dumb squirrel out of his friends hand.

Did he say being on the run was tiring? It was exhausting and Yuu’s mental capacity was at it’s limit and it was absolutely no excuse but somehow that small gesture just blew his lid. Yuu really did smack the squirrel out of Mika’s hand and it bounced across the dirt at their feet. “Why do you do that? Huh, Mika?!” The flames in Yuu’s eyes were burning, he truly had had enough of everything. The running, the worrying, the frustrating desire to just go march right up to Ferid and chop his head right off but the oppressive noise in his head that told him repeatedly there was no way he was strong enough to do that. Not right now, not after, not after what had happened. Thinking about that wasn’t helping Yuu, it only had the opposite effort and he knew there was no turning back. All of his feelings were about to be furled at the only person in front of him. Some of them for good reason.

“Do what Yuu-chan? Help you?” Mika was very confused as to where this outburst was coming from and he took a hesitate step closer to Yuu. He wasn’t sure if he should but whenever Yuu was hurting, he was hurting and really he just wanted to take any of the burden away from the other and bear it himself.

“No!...Yes!..ugh that’s not what I mean. Just, Mika why are you still tiptoeing around me? Why are you acting like something you’re not?! You’re not human Mika stop hiding it. I’m not the little brother you had back in the orphanage that you have to play strong protector of anymore.” Yuu wasn’t blind, even through his anger he saw Mika flinch, step back and lower his hurt-filled eyes from the other. Taking another step back, Mika kept quiet. He didn’t know how to reply to Yuu. Wasn’t the answer obvious? Hadn’t he already told the other boy exactly why he was doing the things he was doing? Didn’t Yuu understand why it wasn’t easy for him to act like the monster that he was. He didn’t want to be that. He wanted to be human, he wanted to be the Mika that Yuu had always known. He had been holding back his thirst for days and he knew that he wasn’t going to be hold back for much longer either. He neither had Kruel’s blood nor Yuu’s. He didn’t want it. He hadn’t wanted any of their blood. It was one of the most frustrating and repulsive sides of himself that he didn’t want anyone to see. Especially not Yuu-chan.

Pushing back his tears, Mika hardened his watery eyes and raised them back to meet Yuu’s flaming ones. “I could rip your throat out right here. Is that what you want?” No, those weren’t the words he had meant to say. A mocking laugh filled the air surrounding the two boys as Yuu smirked, “I dare you.” Yuu even went as far as to open up the lapel of his collar, exposing his soft, delicate looking, fair skin. Mika wasn’t even able to stop himself from glancing at the expanse of neck that was now offered to him. However, what was just offered to him was the exact opposite of what he, Mika, wanted. His body on the other hand was yearning with such an intense purpose he was almost scared he’d take up the others challenge. Swallowing hard, he refocused his eyes at his childhood friend. “S-stop it, Yuu-chan...I don’t want to be a-a monster.” It was unfortunate but he couldn’t stop himself from stuttering, from the lingering yearning to be heard in his voice even if it was just the smallest trace of it. The worst part of it all was that he couldn’t differentiate whether this was the yearning from the vampire part of himself or from the thing he had been desperately trying to avoid but knew was there, knew he was feeling and knew somewhere down the line it had completely engulfed him.

Mika whispered something softly before turning his gaze away from Yuu completely. The sadness that was those now red eyes, was what managed to pull Yuu back. Something in them had changed so suddenly that it was like a hard right hook to his gut. The anger dissipated and instead all that was left was extreme exhaustion and his quiet desire to get Mika to truly understand something.

Letting out a sigh, Yuu ran his hand through his hair. He wasn’t entirely sure if he had heard what he thought he heard. He would have still been blinking blankly at the other if he hadn’t forced himself not to. The two of them had always been close. Very close, even when Yuu was denying his family, Mika, was still that unspoken person who Yuu always held dearest. In fact there wasn’t a day that went by that Yuu didn’t wake up thinking about Mika. He was always in the forefront of his mind.

Walking quietly or what would have been quietly if the other boy didn’t happen to have enhanced senses now, Yuu made his way over to Mika. He rested his chin on the others shoulder who had his back to him. “Mika, I wish you could see yourself the way I do.” The other had flinched at the contact even though he knew it was coming. The blonde shrugged off the other boy. “What does that mean?” He muttered. Ignoring the standoffish vibe Mika was giving him, Yuu wrapped his arms around the others waist and rested his chin back on the vampire's shoulder. “Where’s the monster, Mika? I don’t see one and that’s not because you’re holding yourself back. I’ve never seen a monster, not in the past and certainly not now.” Squeezing his arms around the vampire a little tighter, he continued, “You may not physically be the same Mika that I knew but you’re most definitely the same Mika to me.Stop hiding away from me.”

A frown spread across the blonde’s face as he peeled off one of Yuu’s hands. “But-” he was instantly cut off by the other reaching up and grabbing his face to turn it towards him. Yuu leaned back slightly so he’d be able to look into Mika’s eyes wanting to make sure that he understood finally everything that he had been trying to tell him since he first found Mika again. “But nothing.” Words were out before Mika could stop himself, “I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.”

Blinking blankly at the other, Yuu began to sputter “Uh-u-uh…” He had heard what he thought he heard right? That wasn’t just a bird chirping above their heads in a tree right? No, the l-word had been said...No, it hadn’t. Maybe? His reaction wasn’t the most graceful but it had been honestly what Mika had been expecting. If his heart could still beat it would probably have already leapt from his chest and ran away. “It’s okay, Yuu-chan you don’t have to say anything. I don’t even know why I said that.” The worry in Mika’s eyes was becoming clouded as he tried to compensate like he always did protection mode activated. He removed his childhood friend’s hands from his waist and stepped to the side. Mika looked down and kicked a pebble with his boot clad toe. While he was doing this, Yuu’s face had turned very pink and his ears were very much red. A confession was the last thing he had been expecting.

“Uh..M-Mika..I-” He faltered, words he was only sometimes good with and normally when he was good with them, meaning that they were coming out of his mouth flawlessly he was still butchering things horribly. Closing his jaw, that he realized he had actually left hanging open after that fail attempt of a sentence, Yuu moved towards the one person who knew him best once again. Slipping his suddenly clammy hand into Mika’s cool one, he entwined their fingers while refusing to look anywhere but at the dirt directly at his feet. “T-this is why you should be listening to me dummy. Stop hiding, be you, Mika.” He paused, the knowing feeling of Mika’s gaze on him only made him flush even harder. “Otherwise I won’t l-like you.” Those last words were a jumbled mess but Mika was able to catch it all. A very quick, barely there brush of Yuu’s lips against Mika’s cheek was felt and gone within seconds. As was the hand that was holding the blondes. Stomping over to his weapon Yuu was muttering. “Where is that damn squirrel? Oh there you are! Hah you thought you could escape me?!” He was saying all kinds of nonsense as he grabbed his dinner and rushed down the hill back to the temporary camp they had put up for the night.

Mika was still rooted to the same spot, smiling warmly at the boy who was currently acting like a kindergartner. “Yo! Mika, you coming?! I won’t give you dinner if you don’t get down here in less than three seconds.” The undertone of what dinner meant in regards to Mika made him embarrassed but he hurried down regardless. This time he didn’t forcefully hold back but showed his acquired abilities and made it down the hill in less than three seconds. Yuu’s loud laughter erupted as he made to tease Mika even more, “You must really want me then...OW!”
Mika may or may not have smacked the other upside the back of the head for that ridiculous comment. The playful bickering enveloped their campsite, the two back to normal once more. Tensions always ran tight in stressful situations, letting them out from time to time regardless of the way could really clear the air and perhaps open up for a new path. One that you know just who the right partner for the journey.