#20/21/22 - “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you/We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain/I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice”

Jungkook x You

Word Count: 1,276 (I failed but uh lets count it as an apology for taking so long)

Losing someone close to you is something nobody could ever be prepared for. Jungkook knew from the second he answered his cell phone on that day that he would never be the same again. Day and night he relived that moment in his mind, paying attention to absolutely nothing else of the outside world. The once cheerful and happy Jungkook morphed into a person who hardly left his room and who only remembered to eat meals if you brought them directly to him and practically forced him to eat.

Nearly two months ago on a Saturday night, Jungkook’s phone rang nonstop. At first, he tried to ignore it seeing as he hardly gets any time to himself, but the more the phone rang, the more uneasy he felt. After 10 minutes and 8 missed calls, he finally answered only to hear frantic sobbing coming from the other line.

“Hello?” he asked, stomach twisting with dread.

“Hello, I’m calling from—” the receptionist’s words all meshed together in his mind. All he remembered hearing was the name of a hospital and something about his brother.

By the time he made it to the hospital, he learned his brother had been in an accident, and that only the driver of the car was fortunate enough to survive. There were only two people in that car. And Jungkook’s brother was not the driver.

Since then, Jungkook had created a shell to live inside, rejecting anyone and everyone who tried to pry him out of it. Including you. It took a few weeks before Jungkook even acknowledged your existence again when you would drop by his apartment. A couple weeks ago, you screamed at him the way you never have before. As he sat on his bed staring at the ground, you balled your hands into fists. “Jungkook, this isn’t living! Snap out of it! I’m sorry about what happened. I am, from the bottom of my heart, but you can’t keep going on like this! Your mom needs you, your dad needs you, I need you. I can’t do this without you, Jeon Jungkook. Please, please, please wake up!”

After that incident, Jungkook seemed to open up a bit more. He came out of his room more often and even began eating on his own again. You were given the key to his apartment ages ago, and you were extremely thankful for that. Otherwise you don’t know what would happen to Jungkook.

You found yourself at his apartment again, standing in front of his door and wondering if you should even go inside. Heaving a sigh, you unlocked the door and stepped inside to see Jungkook sitting on his couch watching some random show on TV.

“Hey,” he greeted softly.

“Hi,” you greeted back. “Wanna go for a walk?”

Jungkook seemed to mull it over for a couple seconds before agreeing to it. He walked with you to the front door and slipped into a pair of comfortable shoes, allowing you to lead the way. The two of you made it outside and walked down the street with nowhere in particular in mind. No words were exchanged between you two, but you didn’t mind. You were just relieved he even decided to come outside.

You glanced over at Jungkook, sighing to yourself at how horrible he really looked. He looked like he got a total of 2 hours of sleep the entire week, and you wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually true. His eyes were hard and no emotion could be seen in them. His mouth was set in a permanent frown, and he kept his hands shoved in his jeans pockets.

“Jungk—” you were cut off by the feeling of droplets of rain falling onto you.  You looked up at the sky both irritated only for a second then grateful. Stopping in place, you grab Jungkook by the wrist, forcing him to stop as well. It took a few moments, but you waited for the rain to come down more until your sweater was almost soaked through. A shiver ran down your spine, but you stayed rooted in place.

“Jungkook,” you repeated, louder this time so he could hear you over the rain.

“What?” he asked, eyes trained on the pavement.

“Look at me,” you told him, tugging on the sleeve of his sweater.

Jungkook sighed softly and turned to face you, looking you in the eyes. “What?”

“Do you feel this, Jungkook? The rain?” you asked, holding your free hand out palm-up, allowing the rain to wash over your skin. You grabbed Jungkook’s hand and did the same, holding his hand out palm-up so he could feel the rain as well. A crack of thunder boomed off in the distance, it made you both jump. Whereas you began to smile and look up into the sky, admiring the streaks of light slicing through the air far off, Jungkook was frowning. Your eyes glanced back over to him, hoping he was feeling what you were, alive with every cold wet drop hitting and sliding down our skin. You needed him to feel alive again, to take a step no matter how small in a positive direction.

Jungkook’s hand curled into a fist and you weren’t sure if it was the rain or your eyes playing tricks on you, but you could have sworn you saw tears trickling down his face. He lowered his eyes again and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you in the direction of his apartment. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain. We’ll get sick or...worse.”

You sighed and allowed him to drag you back to his apartment where you quickly shrugged out of your jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. After trying everything, you’re not sure what else you can do to help Jungkook come out of this shell aside from letting time do all the work.

Jungkook called out to you, and you grabbed a towel, placing it on the couch so you could sit down. “Yes?”

“You know, I see the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he began, biting his lip. He seemed a little more lively than he did before. Jungkook looked into your eyes, sadness very visible in his own. “I love you and all. You’ve been there for me since we were kids. I know you want this to turn into something more, but right now I just . . . I can’t do that. I can’t even take care of myself properly right now let alone successfully maintain a relationship. I’m really sorry. I just can’t right now.”

The words cut through you though you knew you ought to have been prepared for them. You tried not to make it seem like it was a big deal on the outside, forcing a smile on your face. “Don’t worry about that. I would never force you into anything. Nor would I try anything right now. I know you need time to heal, and I understand that. I’ll still be here for you, okay? I have to go for the night, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, you stood up and turned around, ashamed at not being strong enough to hold in your tears at least until you got outside. You grabbed your still-soaked jacket and headed out the door, taking a moment to lean against the wall beside his door. You knew nothing would be able to come of you and Jungkook during such a fragile time, but hearing it meant that it was solidified. There was just no way it could work.