I woke up to the sound of my phone rings in the early morning, it was an alarm. I was getting used to it for couple of weeks now, it wakes me as soon as I heard it. It didn’t take a long time for me to get out of the comforter and heading to the bathroom for a quick wash before tidying up my own bed. Back in the trainee era, I didn’t even have the time to clean up my bed because I have to leave the dorm to go for my training before the sun rises and left when it’s past the midnight. It was a dark time for me and the other members, indeed. Today, as I have all the time just for myself, I can manage to tidy up and clean up a bit. It was a great change I have made in my entire adult life and I can’t be more proud when I look at how clean tidy my room is when I leave.

Like any other day, I was sitting behind the wheels again, heading to the florist shop that I have been visiting in the past three weeks. I bet the owner must have known that I will visit him again today as I saw him smiling at my way as I made my way to the shop while he was sweeping off the fallen leaves outside his shop. “Hello, sir. Another pot of flower for today?” He asked me before stepping into his shop with a broom on his right hand, I followed him inside and the fresh fragrance of greens and blooming flowers greeted my nostrils.

I never been a fan of flowers to be more precisely, but ever since I made frequent visits to florist shop I began to love the scents of flowers and fresh plants. I went to follow the owner who is probably around the age of my father; he was now standing behind the tall shelves of pots of flowers, looking for a pot of flower for me to take home. My hand reached out to touch a big and thick green leave, making myself occupied for a minute or two as I wait for him.

“Here you go, a pot of daisy flowers for today.” He walked back to where I was standing, handing me a pot of small flowers with white petal surrounding the yellow.

I nodded my head and gave him the money for the flower but he shook his head in reply, “Take this as a gift, young man. But make sure to come here again with the lucky young lady that gets all the beautiful flowers you bought from me.” He told me with a crooked smile, his words gave me another pang, how much I wish it would happen in the future.

I replied him with a hopeful smile and chuckled softly when his eyes sparked in happiness, “I’ll make sure that I will come here with her. Thank you, I’ll be leaving now then.” I told him before bidding my good bye and left the old man in the shop.

I walked back to my car and put the pot on the seat beside me. For a minute, I was thinking about what the old man just told me and the crooked smile he has when he said that, it was very genuine and warming. He just sounds like the person that Eunji would love to see, I thought to myself. Eunji would definitely love to see him and probably learn a thing or two about planting flowers from him. The thought of promising him to come back later with Eunji made me feel burdened a little, because I don’t really know whether I have the chance to or not. But I have promised him, I couldn’t disappoint him. I shook my head before I went too far with all these imaginations and stuffs, I need to drive down to Apink’s dorm and deliver this pot before the road getting busy and too many people walking around.

The trip didn’t take a long time, it was probably because it was still too early in the morning. I checked on the dashboard to see the digital clock showing 4:01 currently. It was indeed so early for everyone to start their activities in Seoul. I parked my car on the basement and made sure it was locked before I head up to the floor where her apartment is located. I wished I won’t get any cold water thrown on me or killing glares coming from Bomi or Chorong. I also wished that I won’t get any long lectures about leaving Eunji and stop doing whatever I am planning to by Naeun, I wondered why she became this chatty, but I realized I might have pushed the wrong button to make her turned this way. I just wished that the younger members would be the one who get the door and greeted me with a smile, although it was forced or just out of empathy.

I knocked on the door three times just like I always do and waited for someone to get the door. I was wearing my black shirt under a black hoodie and a black hat to cover up my face, just in case people come snooping around. I actually felt a little weird because why no one ever realized that I have been visiting apink’s dorm for three weeks now, but I guessed that is because no one ever thought that I have a fling with Apink.

My thoughts were stopped once the door opened, I cocked my head to the side to see who’s behind the door only to reveal one of the younger members, a relief sighed slipped out of my mouth. It was Namjoo. Thank God.

“Morning, Namjoo.” I greeted casually just like I always do.

“Morning, sunbaenim.” She chose to keep the barrier by calling me with sunbaenim. Actually, we met a few times before and I told her to just call me with Yong oppa because I wanted to get close to her as a friend of my girlfriend, but I guess because I am not a boyfriend of her friend anymore she chose to stick to sunbaenim back again.

I smiled and handed her the pot which she took from me very carefully. Just like any other day, she just nodded her head and closed the door back again right after she has the pot. I nodded my head a few times, I did what I have to do and now it was the time for me to leave. I took a last look at their dorm’s door before taking my steps, leaving their dorm. After a few steps, I heard a doorknob turned and as in automatic move, I ran before anyone that also lives in this floor caught G-Dragon hanging around a girlgroup dorm. But before I ran for the elevator, I heard someone called, “Sunbaenim, wait a minute.”

I turned my head only to find Namjoo stood by their dorm’s door still on her pajamas. This was new, I felt something weird but I chose to make a turn to their dorm back again. I quickly made my way back to where Namjoo stood only to stop two steps away from where she was standing. “Yes? Did I forgot something?” I asked and she quickly shook her head, “Is the pot broken?” she shook her head again, “Did you break the pot?” I asked and she shook her head hardly, “No? Then, what happened? What is it, Namjoo?” I asked in confusion because she kept shaking her head to all of my questions.

Her eyes shifted from left to right while she was biting her lip, she looks like she was on hesitance whether to say anything that was on her mind or not. I bowed my head a little to the side while looking at her in hope that she would tell me whatever she was planning to say and also hoped that it was not something like, Eunji is sick or Eunji has a new boyfriend. God, please no. “What is it, Namjoo?” I asked her again, felt a little impatience at the moment because the latter kept hesitating but didn’t push me away to just go home right away.

She shook her head before blowing her bangs off of her forehead, “I hope Chorong unnie didn’t kill me after this, but Eunji unnie is on the park now. She is probably be sitting on the swing. I thought you might want to see her, because you’ve been visiting us straight in the recent three weeks, every day. She is always down there around the time you make a visit, because well- she is avoiding to see you.” Her eyes finally found its peace as she looks at me with what I read as hopeful and empathy look from my blurred eyes, I had tears on my eyes as soon as I heard her saying that.

“Oh- thank you, Namjoo. Thank you for telling me this!” I told her before running to the elevator and slipped into it. I needed to get to the park before the sun rise and I needed to see her, I missed her. It’s been days since the last time I saw her physically and it sent me to a devastating state because I missed her so bad that I couldn’t even explain it.

I ran towards the gate as soon as the elevator doors opened, I even ran toward the park near the apartment building. It wasn’t quite far actually, it was just about two or hundred meters away from the apartment building where apink dorm was, but it was still in the apartment complex. I started to walk quietly behind the green bushes and started to look for her, I didn’t want to meet her without telling her. I was afraid that she is going to cry again, and I didn’t want that to happen so I just wanted to see her from far away. I hid well behind the bushes when I found the only person that was currently sitting on a swing, it’s her, it’s Eunji.

I couldn’t help but crying to finally see her in person, she looks beautiful even without anything fancy. She was wearing a navy blue jumper and grey jogger pants, look comfortable as she always did, and she let her hair fall free under the black adidas cap that I just sent her recently as a gift. I took a few steps closer so that I could see her a bit more clearly and stopped right when I thought I was stepping on a small tree branch, it cracked and made a little sound, I immediately hid down afraid that she might heard it and go away but lucky she didn’t. She was too preoccupied, I saw her reading something. I tried hard to see what she was reading, it’s definitely not a book, it was a piece of paper, or probably two pieces of paper or probably more. As I squinted my eyes to add more focus on the details of the paper and my eyes widened in surprise when I saw a certain pattern on the paper that I recognized, she was reading my letters and she was crying as she reading them.

I wished I have a longer time to watch her, but my heart crumpled when I saw her continue to wipe the tears away from her cheeks as she reads the letters. I wanted to hug her so bad. I wanted to run and gave her some comfort so that she wouldn’t cry, but I knew b