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I just finished my first Vapp-live show in an apartment near Hongdae. I am not sure if I did well on the live show earlier, but I am happy it was done nicely. I could actually manage to finish thirty minutes of live show without blabbering things that I should not, although I may say that it was thirty minutes of boredom and awkwardness.

Actually, someone gave me an idea for the concept of the show to go with 'G-Dra-Gone-Drunk', it was totally acceptable. I love the idea of drinking some with my fans, I mean I am a big fan of various kinds of drinks but my crew forbid me. They immediately turned down my idea and just asked me to do anything that is more 'commercial' and 'more you'.

Honestly, I was too tired to even put on some make up, too tired to even greet my fans, too tired to even follow my crews' orders. But I have promised Hyunsuk sajangnim that today I will do the V-app live show, no turning back. So now that I've finished it, I immediately went to my black car carrying my phone on my right hand. 

"Where is my panda?" I told my assistant as soon as I sat on my car's seat, finding the panda that was earlier with me for the show is not in the car yet.

My assistant hurried her steps up back to the building, rushing to get me that big panda doll. If you've seen the show earlier, you've seen that panda too. She is the one who need to watch me there alone when everyone didn't, although it seems like she is the one who wasn't watching me.

I glanced at my phone and scoffed in annoyance, still no message or calls from this person. Wow, awesome. I rolled my eyes as I keep pulling down my screens, thinking if she would have sent me a text. But nothing went in. Sighing deeply, I crossed my arms and just closed my eyes for a brief moment, still waiting for my assistant bringing back my panda doll and this woman to send me a text.

A few seconds pass by without me knowing; I fell to a deep slumber as soon as I lean my head on the headrest of my car. It was too tired, I just had a flight back to Korea from my MADE tour yesterday. All I need was to rest, so it is no doubt if you find me falling asleep in my car. But it didn't stay long, give or take a few minutes, my phone rang loudly, filling up the car with my ringtone. It surprised me when my assistant knocked at my window almost at the same time.

"Here is your doll. Everything's checked; nothing yours left there. You may leave now." She said as she handed me the half-human-size panda doll.

“Thanks for the hard work. I’m leaving now.” I nodded my head before letting my manager to drive away from the building.

The moment she left my car, my attention turned to my noisy phone. A name appeared on my phone screen and soon my anger left to somewhere else, as well as my tiredness, they were all thrown off to the deepest cliff or somewhere else where I myself can't find it.  A name 'Jiyang' flashed on my phone screen, telling me there is an incoming call from Jiyang.

Without taking a long time, I grabbed my phone and pressed on the green caller sign. Expecting her to greet me sweetly, but instead she cut it off right to her main point.

"I'm not seeing anyone right now." She told me, mocking me with the statement that I said earlier in the V-app live show. Hatred and anger absolutely are shown just in one sentence that she stated before. That's how cool she could be, showing emotions just through a phone call. No wonder she got many awards from her acting, she is indeed my perfect girl.

"Yes- right. I am not seeing anyone. Why- why- why?" I repeatedly nudge her as the car went off from the recording place earlier to my house.

"Nothing- you did well, oppa." She chuckled softly, pulling down her play-pretend, “But really- why a panda?” She asked me with another kind of tone, a curious one.

“Why? She will be the one who stay with me through the recording because you weren’t there.” I told her, shrugging off my shoulder in a mocking way despite she couldn’t see.

“But- it was too obvious. Panda is very much related to Apink, Kwon Jiyong.” She explained.

I nodded as she continued to reply and chose not to give her a reply, because I just wanted to hear her talking. The sound of her talking in satoori, in a very fast speed, it was a new habit to me. I never been talking to a person with such a thick accent like hers, I never had someone close to me that talk so fast as if it was the last time for her to explain everything. I was born in Seoul, I was born and grew up with such a different accent than hers. But started that day she came to my life, everything in her became the thing that I like, including her speedy talk.

“Hmm- I don’t care if it’s obvious or anything. I told everyone that I am not seeing anyone in the video too, so they must think it’s a symbol for Seungri.” I explained right after she finished her long explanation about everyth