Seohyun laid on the cot and stared up at the ceiling. She chose to focus on how strange her surroundings looked instead of what was going to happen. Her head turned slightly and her gaze landed on a flickering candle she stared at it for a few moments, a million and one thoughts raced through her mind. Jongin was strangely silent she noticed. Her eyes moved from the candlelight over to him. He stood off to the side, head down and looked oh so very alone. Her heart seized, wondering if he was going to feel even more alone when she could no longer see him. Tears pricked at her eyes and she tore her gaze away from him. She clenched her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms hard enough to distract her from that thought.

This was what he wanted. This was what they both needed she reminded herself.

Still, she couldn’t help feeling so heartbroken. Sure, it didn’t make sense to fall for someone like him. She couldn’t expect anyone to understand, but despite what she was told he had always been real to her. Because if he wasn’t, there was no way she would be feeling this ache in her chest right now.

She turned to face him once again and this time he looked up in time to catch her gaze. He wanted to look away, but she stubbornly held onto his gaze. She might’ve seemed angry, she thought to herself, but she didn’t care. She wanted to capture his image in her vision. She wanted to remember the way he stood, the way his lips moved, and the way his eyes shone for the rest of her life. Even if it seemed impossible, no matter how much her mother told her she would forget eventually, she didn’t want to forget. She wanted to remember every little thing about Jongin.

A wave of regret washed over her as she suddenly sat up and kicked her legs over the edge of the cot. She felt a hand on her shoulder and froze. She stared at Jongin and smiled bitterly. He let out a soft laugh, nothing like how he usually laughed, it was so empty.

“Everything is ready. Are you?” Hyun Ok asked and Seohyun shook her head softly, unable to look away from Jongin.

Maybe if she didn’t look away…

“Seohyun” She said sternly, not angrily, but simply insistent. She knew that Seohyun would never be ready, “We’re going to begin” She said gently as she made Seohyun lay back once again.

Seohyun kept her eyes on him the entire time. She refused to look away. Hyun Ok move around her and stood near her head. Jongin opened his mouth and quickly shut it back. Seohyun stared at him with pleading eyes, say something. If he asked her to, she wouldn’t go through with this. She would run as far away as possible… if he just asked her to stop this. She would never send him away, but she knew she couldn’t force him to stay. Not when he was suffering by her side. She thought about the night before, the misery in his voice as he cried besides her and forced herself to lay still. She could not forcefully hold onto him.

Hyun Ok began to recite a prayer that Seohyun blocked out. She did not want to listen.

“Sleep Seohyun” The woman’s gentle voice said quietly.

Seohyun refused. She would not sleep. She would not take her eyes off him.

“Sleep” She repeated and Seohyun felt a veil of drowsiness gently fall on top of her. Her eyes drooped, but she kept them fixed on Jongin. She felt tears slide down her face as she began to lose the strength to keep her eyes open. She blinked once, her eyelids growing so incredibly heavy. She couldn’t sleep, she chanted in her head as she forced herself to open her eyes. Jongin stood beside now, he looked torn as he knelt beside her. He smiled softly for her.

“Sleep” He whispered and she did.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

She woke up in a dark room. It was her bedroom, except it wasn’t really. Everything was off about it. There were no lights and although everything seemed like it was the same, it just didn’t feel right. She felt strange too she realized. She looked down at her hands and moved her fingers as if that would somehow give her the answers she needed. She was confused. What was she doing before this? She fro