Forcing yourself to change may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your entire existence. It’s difficult to wake up every morning and shed the normal off your system, like a snake changing its skin.

Three days has passed after the party. Jiyong and I are still cold to each other and the family feels it. In fact, they are trying to talk to us to get to the matter, but none from either of us are spilling the beans. Actually, I don’t know why we ended up like this when there’s really no reason for a ‘cold war’.

“Aren’t you going to eat breakfast first before leaving?” Kwon Omma saw me going down the stairs, all ready for work.

Yong and I have been staying at Dolce Vita for days now, as said by Kwon Appa. I agreed to it because I’ll be more at peace knowing that my son is being taken care of by family than someone from the day care, while he’s sensitive caused by teething. It’s not easy to be honest, because my work is almost two hours away from here.

With a few minutes to spare, I joined Kwon Appa and Omma for breakfast at the balcony, overlooking the lake. This brings me back to when I’m still living with them. We always eat breakfast together, while talking about our plans for the day.

“Jiyong just got home an hour ago” Omma said while handing me the plate of egg rolls.

Well, he’s been staying here too. The business is actually close for the mean time.

I just continued eating. There’s really nothing I want to say.

“Yaa” Appa made me look at him “Can you tell us what’s really going on? If this is about who’s going to take care of Yong, I’m telling you, you two are so petty”. He is annoyed by our actions already and it clearly shows on his face.

Omma sighed, “If you two think that we cannot see and feel it, and that we won’t care. Well, we do. I just want to remind you that you’re no longer kids, petty fights should just be dropped”

This isn’t the first time they’ve spoken to me about this, and I’m sure Jiyong is hearing the same from them as well.

“I should get going now”. Politely, I stood up and bowed at them. “Thank you for the meal. I’ll see you later”

Running away just to save myself from talking is the only way I can think of. Truthfully, I don’t really know what’s going on between Jiyong and I. We just woke up the next day after the party, cold to each other, only talking when needed.

There was even a time when I thought maybe he’s doing this to give way for Dr. Miller, that he’s teaching me how to depend on him, other than him. If my hunch is right, then he’s so pathetic, because I don’t need to depend on another man just to get by. I can manage.

My head is so full while working, it’s a mix of my personal life and work, and I swear, it’s driving me insane. Dr. Miller is not helping as well. I already cleared myself to him, saying that for now I’m just up for the friendship which he willingly agreed to, but he’s doing things that a man only does when courting a woman, like sending flowers to my office.

“Up until when are you going to give me flowers? And, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s just a waste of money?”

He’s in my office, paying a short visit after his rounds. Our shift is unbelievably at the same time, that doesn’t happen often.

Relaxed, he leaned back and sit like a man. “You’ll receive them until you’re ready to take things to another level”. New thing that I discovered about him is he’s sometimes pushy. “Just let me be, please” he begged.

“So, if I happen to take this in longer, the flowers won’t stop” I stared at him who just grinned at me.

“Is this a strategy?” I asked, but he’s still only grinning. “Fine! I’m going to give the flowers to patients every day, which is going to be so good because in one way or another, it will make them feel better”

Bravo, Areumie! You finally thought of a good way for the flowers not to just wilt in your office. Not just that, you’re adding up a good deed.

Defeated, Dr. Miller sighed “I’m letting you do that if that’s what you want”

Smiling in satisfaction, “At least your money will go to a good cause”

Good thing the two of us are in good terms after his confession. I realized that there’s really no reason for me to distance myself to him only because he likes me when I don’t have any plan, for now, to entertain him. We can use the time to get to know each other and hopefully, build a strong bond that will get us through another level.

I will be totally dumb if I won’t give this man a chance. He’s a good one. Very reliable, responsible, and sensible. It’s also not hard to love him.

“Are you free later, after work?” he’s checking medical reports that I’m yet to have a look.

I snatched the stainless file folder from him, “I have to be home by dinner” I said and started reading the report.

He snapped his fingers. “Great! Let’s just have coffee at the cafeteria then. Later, after your rounds?” his sarcasm is pretty hilarious.

“Good with me” I replied and continued what I’m doing.

Actually, I don’t have to be home by dinner. It’s just that, I don’t want us to go on a date. Maybe I’ll let it happen after a while, but not now.

Time is running faster today. I’ve done so many things, including my rounds. Couple of hours and I’m off. I’ll get to see Yong already.

“How are things going with you and…”

Accidentally, I told Dr. Miller about Jiyong and I, and our ‘cold war’.

I cut him off. “Not yet talking. We haven’t seen each other the whole day yesterday”

“Look, Areum” he stared at me “I think you have to talk to him already. Make the first move”

I rolled my eyes, “That is only possible if I’ll see him around the house”.

Jiyong is too busy nowadays that he goes home so late. “Also, what will I tell him?”

You know, it’s easy to approach him and ask if there’s a problem. What’s hard is, to be asked the same question which I’m sure he’s going to do, that I don’t have an answer to.

Really, I don’t have a clue on what’s happening.

“Tell him that the silence and coldness is getting the best of you already”

Defensive, “It’s not getting through me”.

I’m lying.

Not buying what I said, Dr. Miller chuckled. “Deny all you want”. He received a slap on the arm from me.

“I swear, it doesn’t!” I exclaimed.

Leaning forward, he tapped the tip of my nose. “That’s what you’re making yourself believe. When truth is, you’re really dying inside”. He scanned my face with a small smile on his face. “Tell me, aside from your break up, when was the last time you two have been like this?”

Hmm…let me think.

AH!

Snapping up, “It’s when he got fed up with me nagging him to stop smoking” then I started laughing, “He doesn’t want to talk to me because he knows that I’m going to fire non-stop”. The memory of it is so clear and good to remember.

It made him chuckle. “I didn’t expect that”

I looked at him curiously. He cleared his throat and went back to being serious. “I mean, I was expecting something big. You know, like he didn’t show up for a date or you somehow cheated on him while you two are together”

As if! In the short period of time that Jiyong and I have been together, it’s not enough to even make a big mistake, aside from breaking up with him.

“We don’t fight big” I told him. “And I’m afraid that if we do, we’ll not be able to patch things up anymore”

Every friendship, no matter how deep or shallow, is possible of an end. It just takes that one big fight and a whole lot of pride to happen.

If you think that, that doesn’t apply to us because our friendship stand even after our break up, this time might be different.

“Do you think it’s not gonna come off weird if I confront him?”

In my head, I’m already composing a good piece to tell Jiyong if ever I decide to talk to him later.

Dr. Miller smirked. “It’s weirder to be in a cold war, clueless of why it’s happening. You’re like two lovers who just tripped on fighting even without a valid reason just to see who can last and who will bend”

In all fairness to this man, he’s really a good listener and adviser, much like Jiyong (oh ! I shouldn’t compare).

My shift ended an hour late because I attended an emergency. A five year old girl busted her head while playing at the park, causing over ten stitches to close her cut. It made me think, what will I do if that happens to Yong? Then, another came in, what will Jiyong do? I’m sure he’s going to freak out and exaggerate.

On my way home, all I can think of is how I’m going to confront Jiyong. I’m willing to stay up until he arrives, even in the wee hours of the night just for it. We should end this war because it really doesn’t make any sense.

“Oh!” I was shocked to see his car. “He’s home early” I nervously free myself off the seatbelt and slide out of my car.

Walking in the house, I prepare to face him with a smile on my face. “It smells really good in here” I said, the moment I opened the door. My nerves calmed down because of the delicious aroma. Omma must’ve been cooking something special.

“Areumie!” Appa saw me in the living room while putting down my things on the single couch.

I bowed at him. “Good evening, Appa!” I greeted and he smiled at me warmly.

“It smells so good in here” I told him, and he chuckled. “Omma is cooking your favorite stew. Also, we have a visitor” he said, making me curious.

Maybe Jiyong brought a friend or Youngbae for dinner. If so, I have to wait until that visitor leaves before talking to him. It seems like God is giving me more time to prepare.

“Appa” I called. He’s watching the news. “Where is Yong? Is he sleeping?”

He shook his head. “He’s with Jiyong. They are at the pool area”

Excited to see and hold my son, I dashed to where they are. “OMO!” I gasped in surprise.

“Areumie!” Jiyong stood up, looking a little nervous. “Lena is here” he said, and I saw my son on her lap.

Coolly, I waved my hand. “Hi!”

She smiled at me, “Hello Areum!” then she asked Jiyong to help her with Yong. He carried him and Lena walked towards me to give me the Hollywood type cheek to cheek kiss. “Nice to see you again!” her voice sounds really cheerful.

“Yeah…” my eyes shifted from her and Jiyong “Nice to see you!” I said, then forced a smile.

My plan of confronting him is washed away. All of a sudden, I want to bring back the time to this afternoon when Dr. Miller asked me if I’m free after my shift. I should’ve said yes.

“Aigoo” Yong has been begging to be carried by me and Jiyong handed him right away. I kissed my son on the cheeks and hugged him tightly. “Are you hungry?” I asked.

Jiyong cleared his throat, “We just fed him” he said and all I can do is stare at him.

OK. So, I feel….

FINE! JEALOUS, and it’s out of place because I don’t have any right.

“Dinner’s ready!” Omma called out from the balcony.

As fast as I can, I went to the dining area, greeted Omma and prepared Yong’s high chair. Originally, Jiyong and I sit beside each other with Yong on my other side, in between me and Omma. But today, he’s in between me and Jiyong.

“Jiyong’s mom prepared all of this” Appa told Lena who is all smiles at us.

She scanned the table and excitedly looked at Jiyong. “The food looks very delicious”

The sound of her voice is ticking me off.

“Omma is a very good cook” Jiyong said, making Omma giggle.

After grace, we started eating with Jiyong assisting Lena with everything. All that’s lacking is for him to feed her, while I feed Yong the baby food Omma made for him.

“Our little boy is already close with Lena” Omma told me in the middle of our meal.

With a fake smile, “Really?”

Lena giggled, “Your son is so adorable. I’m actually teasing GD that they look so much alike, that Yong can pass as his son”

Nice! Even Lena can see a resemblance. The only one who can’t see it is me, I guess.

Appa chuckled. “Jiyong and Yong are inseparable. Yong calls Jiyong “Appa”, meaning Daddy”

Lena seemed impressed. She sweetly caressed Jiyong’s cheek.

Why do I feel like something is going on that I didn’t know?

All throughout dinner, I only focused on feeding my son and myself. I stopped listening to their conversation after that sweet caress.

“I’ll clear the table and wash the dishes” I volunteered, making all of them look at me.

I need to divert my attention to something. I have to be occupied or else…

“Are you sure, Areumie? Aren’t you tired from work?” Omma asked with concern.

I touched her arm and smiled. “I’m all good Omma”

All of a sudden, Lena started stacking the plates, “I’ll help her” she said, making me look at Jiyong as if telling him to get his woman out of my sight.

                                                                                      ~ ~ ~ ~

While wiping a glass, “GD and I decided to try to be in a relationship!” she excitedly announced.

                                                                                      *****