That afternoon, taeyeon and jessica eonni went to the hospital where yoojin eonni stayed for awhile.

They decided to see yoojin’s eonni condition that, well the doctor said that she was okay now but still have to stayed in the hospital.

        “why don’t you go to college?” asked jessica eonni to me and i told her that i wanted to stayed in the hospital first to made sure that yoojin eonni was okay.

“can’t you just ask someone else in your family to take care of her while you’re at campus?” asked taeyeon eonni. “yoojin eonni is all i have, eonni” i told both of them who sat right next to yoojin’s eonni.

They fell silent, and all of them looked at me as i looked at yoojin eonni. “i can’t trust her to anyone else”

        “hey, calm down, your auntie is looking after her and you can get a rest” said myungsoo as we got into my apartement. Auntie soohee decided to stayed there to took after yoojin eonni and she told me to get a rest at my home.

But how could i get a rest when my sister was dying in the hospital? “i cant myungsoo-ah” i told him. “hey, , i didn’t go here just to hear you don’t want to get a rest. I’m here to make sure you’re okay and make sure you get a rest”

        “where’s suji?”

        “she’s fine, she’s at campus right now”

        “and why the hell you’re here and not at campus?”

        “i wanted to look after you” he smiled and sat akwardly on the couch. I squinted my eyes on him and realized that there was something wrong.

And i knew what was wrong.

“what’s happend between both of you?” i asked and his face suddenly changed.“w-what do you mean?” he suttered.

“don’t think that i’m too stupid just to realize that you actually have a problem again with suji. That’s why you decided to go here, you’re afraid to face her”

        “that’s not so true!” he protested. “yes i have a problem with her but i came here because i care about you, geez” he rolled his eyes as i chuckled.

I told him to tell me about what happened and he told me that they were fighting because of mino. I didn’t get it, though.

        “why him? are you cheating on suji to mino?” i asked and he threw me a pillow. “suji said that mino was going to did something bad to us, but i didn’t believe it since mino was my friend too and he was so nice. That was why she was angry to me, because i didn’t believe in her”

        “myungsoo”

        “what?”

        “you’re dumb”

        What minho oppa said to me still linged on my brain about what happened if i dated with one of exo’s members.

He told me that what happened to taeyeon eonni, might will happened to me as well.

I groaned, i didn’t want to think about negative things for a while. My head was hurt too much.

        What i should thinking about was yoojin eonni. Yes. her.

        Then i heard a bell rang, i opened the door and found sehun was there. “are you okay? How’s yoojin nuna?” he asked and i told him that yoojin eonni was fine.

Sehun cupped my face and he asked me, “have you eat already?” he asked and i shook my head. I lost my appetitte since yesterday.

        “do you want to eat?” he asked again and i shook my head. Sehun closed the door and leaded me to the couch.

We sat there together and fell silent for the first 5 seconds.

“i know you don’t want me to say that it’s going to be okay” he grabbed one of my hand and held it tight. I sighed, yeah, that wasn’t the sentence that i wanted to hear today.

        “if everything wasn’t going to be okay, well, i just wanted to tell you that just keep living this life. it won’t be easy, yes i know. but hey, everyday is a good day to be alive. Whether the sun shining or not”

        “that’s the worst thing i ever heard today, sehun”

        “wait, why?”

        “because how am i going to live without yoojin eonni? I barely didn’t even have anyone by myside again. my parents are dead, and if yoojin eonni also died then who’s going to stay with me?”

        “wait, am i invisible for you?”

        “and what if someday, you’re going to leave me, sehun?” i asked and we both fell silent. We both looked at each other, and he didn’t answer me.

we both didn’t know what were we going to do if somehow we got separated. “are you going to tell me that you won’t leave me? or , are you going to tell me that i’m going to be okay without you? if you would, then don’t. i’ve lost everyone and if i lost yoojin eonni and then i lost you, what am i going to do with my ing life?”

        “then don’t lose each other. don’t let yourself lose me since i’m going to do the same thing either. i’m not going to say that i’m not going to let you go or you’ll be okay without me. i’d say that i don’t want to let you go and you won’t be okay without me since i’m not going to. I want to learn you, i want to learn with you, i want to learn from you. and i that’s all i want”

        “sehun”

        “what now?”

        “do you think that our relationship will hurt so many people around the world?” i asked to him and he nooded. i sighed, of course, he has a lot of fans around the world and when everyone knew that we both were dating then we were doom.

The world will be crying blood.

“i don’t want to hurt anyone, sehun. I know how it feels like when your idol suddenly were dating with anyone. What can i do for it? i don’t want to make other people feel the same way as i did”

        “why are you so worried about other people and ready to give all you have to make them happy while you were here, still not happy?”

        “because.....” i sighed before i continued, “i know how it feels like when someone freely doing everything without worried that it will hurt me so bad”

        I went to the coffee shop just to see how’s myungsoo and suji. As i walked into the cafe, i saw that myungsoo was there but i couldn’t find suji anywhere.

“where’s suji?” i asked to myungsoo and she pointed at suji who cleaned the table with full of anger.

“you haven’t make up with her?” i gave myungsoo a glare and myungsoo shook his head with his desperate expression on his face.

        “suji