Hug Me

[chansoo / angst / soldier au / romance] 

It is night and inside the almost empty apartment, there is just a block of light piercing through the darkness from Chanyeol’s phone. He looks down numbly at the small animated icon of his Geodude flexing its muscular arms on the screen. The name ‘D.O.’ displays quietly beneath the Pokemon and black letters contrast sharply with the game’s white background. Blankly, Chanyeol stares, unblinking, at the screen until his eyes well up from the intensity of the phone’s brightness. Yet still, he refuses to look away and gradually, drops of tear begin to free fall from his bloodshot eyes. There is fatigue on his face, as well as deep sorrow and indescribable pain. 

It has been a year since Chanyeol last saw Kyungsoo. That was when Chanyeol had just captured the Geodude on his phone and as a joke, he named it D.O. after Kyungsoo because of how much the Pokemon seemed to resemble the stoic man. “Look at this silly thing trying to be manly but still end up looking so cute, floating about and pumping his rocky muscles,” Chanyeol cackled and slapped his leg repeatedly out of amusement. His mirthful eyes squinted into thin lines as his pearly teeth shone brightly under the sun. Next to him, Kyungsoo rolled his eyes but a tiny fond smile tugged at the corner of his plump lips.

“Are you insinuating something, Park?”

Chanyeol flashed a shy smile at his boyfriend and scooted closer until the side of their arms pressed together. Leaning his head against Kyungsoo’s shoulder in a rather uncomfortable position, Chanyeol grinned broader and showed off his new capture.

“You have to admit he is cute,” the silly giant said quietly and glanced up at Kyungsoo, who looked back at him with an emotionless face and an arched brow, “just like you, Kyungsoo.”

“I’m not cute,” Kyungsoo retorted with a slight frown. But before he could further justify his non-cuteness, Chanyeol had already enveloped him in a warm bear hug.

“You’re always cute in my mind,” Chanyeol mumbled and pressed his face into the other’s short and soft hair. Shutting his eyes, he took a deep inhale of Kyungsoo’s distinct scent and engraved it into his mind. He didn’t know when he’d see his boyfriend again but he hoped that it will be soon. As a soldier, Kyungsoo was at the disposal of their country and in this turbulent time, he was always away more often than he was at home by Chanyeol’s side. “I’ll miss you,” the gentle giant whispered into his lover’s ear, “a lot… everyday… until you come back again.”

Slowly, Kyungsoo lifted his arms and wrapped them around Chanyeol’s body as well. He too, used all of his being to embrace the man in his arms. He could not see Chanyeol’s face, and he knew that was deliberate on the latter’s part, because Chanyeol did not want Kyungsoo to see him sad. ‘Always remember me smiling,’ the taller man always said with a wide grin and sparkling eyes, ‘then when you’re sad, you can think of me and feel happy again. I’ll be your sunshine in the rain.’

When Kyungsoo heard those words, he could only muster a bittersweet smile in return. In that moment, he wished he could offer Chanyeol forever. But he could not. Because forever was a luxury that Kyungsoo knew he could not afford. Because he was a soldier. Because his life was not his own.

“Then when you miss me, look at your Geodude,” Kyungsoo said quietly after a brief moment as he relished the comforting warmth from Chanyeol’s body, “it’ll be like I’m always around, okay?” Gently, Kyungsoo caressed Chanyeol’s broad back until he heard a wavering ‘okay’ from the sentimental giant. Then for a long while, they hugged each other tight, as if trying to imprint a part of themselves into each other’s body.  

“I’ll be back.”

“Okay. I will wait for you.”

---

Gradually, the phone screen dims in Chanyeol’s hand. As if in a trance, the taller man brings the devise close to his heart. Eyes swollen and pale faced, he shifts his gaze out to the midnight sky littered with stars. Firmly, he presses his phone against his chest as if hugging the small Geodude; as if hugging his Kyungsoo. Then as the last of the light from the phone diminishes, Chanyeol falls back into darkness and he shuts his eyes.

FIN. 

Inspired by Chanyeol's Hug Me cover on soundcloud. I have been really busy with real life so no writing for me. But right now I am visiting my friend Nat (who is also a huge chansoo shipping!) in Vancouver :D So I return with angst lol OFC