Must all good things come to an end? 

[chansoo / g / angst / HE / half real-life / 1727 words] 

“Hello, my name is Chanyeol.” A tall boy of seventeen introduces himself with a toothy smile, his bright eyes sparkling behind round lenses. Standing across from him, a shorter boy of the same age stares at the extended hand with a stunned expression while fidgeting with the hem of his shirt out of nervousness. Slowly, the wide-eyed boy meets the tall boy’s friendly gaze and holds onto the outstretched hand as a shy smile blooms on his childish face.

“Hello, I am Kyungsoo.”

---

The boys of timid faces are no more. Chanyeol has left behind his glasses, but not his smiles and Kyungsoo has learned to disguise his shyness, but not his signature wide eye look.

From strangers to soul mates, they have become the pillars supporting each other’s world. They are always together, inseparable and indisputable, sharing the same goals, the same pain, the same songs, and the same laughter. Like looking through a looking glass, the days they spend together locked inside the practice room are the most surreal as well as real. As if living in a dream, those truly are the happy times that will never return.    

“Promise me we’ll always be together,” Chanyeol pants in a rugged whisper as his legs give out from long hours of practice. His chest heaves up and down as he lies on his back next to Kyungsoo, who is also breathless from exhaustion. Damp skins touch and both boys relish the warmth emitting through their pressed palms as they hold hands. Turning to look Chanyeol straight in the eyes, Kyungsoo’s lips curve upward with innocence and fondness.  

“Promise.”

---

Life is like a large dye vat, colouring everyone from light to dark. The world is beautiful, the world is ugly, the world is never what one wants it to be. Kyungsoo has learned that some things can be forgiven while some things cannot be. He has learned that there is once in a lifetime, but there is also one wrong that can ruin a lifetime.

Kyungsoo has learned that you cannot always follow your heart and that promises are made to be broken.

With a click, a single flame ignites in the night and it lights up a cigarette. Taking a long draw, Chanyeol exhales with narrowed eyes. Next to him, the person once closest to him now seems miles away. His shadow even seems faded. The bitter aroma of burnt tobacco assaults Kyungsoo’s senses and blinking back the tears welling in his glossy eyes, he gazes at the neon lights in the horizon without saying a word. For a long while, the soul mates just accompany each other in the cold night.

“Is this it, then?” Chanyeol asks eventually, his voice husky and trembling. Fifteen years, they’ve walked through the highs and the lows side by side. The idol life is not a smooth ride, but they toughed it through together until today. They were at least together then.

“Life must go on,” Kyungsoo answers flatly without tearing his eyes away from the lights, “I’ll still be here for you, but just… in a different way.”

The taller man scoffs and exhales another puff of smoke. “I’d rather you die,” he spats in an angry hiss, “I’d rather be dead.”

Kyungsoo shuts his eyes and sighs. Forcefully grabbing the other’s cigarette, he takes a deep inhale and coughs as smoke invades his lungs. A painful burn lingers in his throat as he shares the same bitter breath as the other man.

The night is cold and windy. For the first and last time, Kyungsoo leans over and kisses Chanyeol. Words that were never said but understood were still there, but until the end they are not said. They are idols and their lives are not theirs. Perhaps since the beginning, they’ve already bypassed the chance to say anything at all when they chose to make a life in the public eyes.

In between chopped and stifled sobs, Chanyeol chokes out: “Congratulations on getting married.” Kyungsoo nods and bites into his bottom lip, his eyes once again glued to the neon lights in the horizon. As he listens to hearts break, crumbling piece by piece into the darkness, a tear rolls down his cheek.

All good things must come to an end.

---

“This year marks the 20^th year anniversary of EXO’s debut,” the magazine interviewer asks the tall, handsome man who has already lost his boyish charms and innocent smiles, “You and the members definitely went through a lot of good times but also bad times. Looking back at the past twenty years, was there anything you regret?”

Taking a moment, Chanyeol blinks into space before looking down at the silver sound wave ring he has never taken off all of these years. Faintly, his lips curve upward as he briefly recalls the days when someone else worn the matching ring.  

“I guess not being brave enough to face and fight for a love I’ve already lost,” he answers gently as his thumb glides over the band of silver, “I will always regret letting go of that person, whom I loved, no… still loves very much.”

Chanyeol looks up at the interviewer with a polite smile and locks his hands tightly together.

“Oh?” the interviewer tilts her head and smiles as well, “you too, Chanyeol-shi?”

The tall man freezes momentarily and also tilts his head in question. The interviewer quickly explains: “When I was interviewing D.O.-shi earlier, he said the same thing. He said he regrets letting go of someone he has always loved deeply without a fight. I thought it was his ex-wife, but he denied it. It is interesting that both of you share similar experiences…”

Chanyeol can no longer hear the interviewer’s words as he stares at her moving mouth in a daze. His bottom lip trembles a little as a soreness rushes up to his head through his nose, causing his eyes to water. Kyungsoo’s slightly slouching form surfaces in his head, the other man’s serious profile and downcast eyes. He could almost hear Kyungsoo’s soft voice, carefully uttering out his words of regret.

“… Chanyeol-shi? Are you alright?”

The man in question snaps back to reality. Faced with the interviewer’s worried gaze, he flashes her a bright smile reminiscent of his younger days, those happier days. With some difficulty, he gulps down the lump in his throat.

“I will be,” he answers in a calm tone, even though his hands are shaking. Blinking away the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, Chanyeol lets out a quiet sigh and continues with his interview.

---

It has been years since they faced each other so directly, without anyone else around, just the two of them. Kyungsoo was forcefully dragged into his dressing room by Chanyeol, who stormed into the shooting location of his new movie. The taller man’s large hand is still clenching tightly around Kyungsoo’s wrist, but the latter does not struggle to be freed. Rather, he just stares at the tip of their shoes pointing towards each other while Chanyeol looks down at the top of his head. For a long while, neither men speak nor move.

“What is it?” Kyungsoo finally breaks the silence as he listens carefully to the bustling noises of the film crews outside, still refusing to raise his head.

“How much more time are we going to waste?” Chanyeol asks quietly, his voice trembling with suppressed emotions and Kyungsoo freezes. When he answered that interview honestly, more honest than he has been to himself or anyone in many years, he wasn’t even sure if it would reach Chanyeol. After all, they seem to have become strangers overnight; familiar strangers who are so close yet so far.

“I,” Kyungsoo stutters, suddenly too aware of their closeness and the warmth on his wrist, “I need to go.”

“Don’t go,” Chanyeol tightens his grip and lets the only thought in his head fly, “Don’t leave me. Stay, stay by my side.”

Slowly, the hand around Kyungsoo’s wrist loosens and caresses downward, sending waves of shiver through his body. Chanyeol entangles their fingers loosely together, letting the outside of his ring warm up against the other man’s burning skin.

“I don’t want to go back to a life without you,” he confesses in a wearied croak as his eyes moisten. Chanyeol presses his cheek against the shorter man’s hair and breathes in the comforting scent distinct to Kyungsoo, mixed in with the foreign perfume of hair gel. He has missed this man too much and for too long.

Suddenly, a staff calls from outside the waiting room and interrupts the unplanned reunion. In a frantic, Kyungsoo pulls himself away and rushes to the door, leaving Chanyeol standing alone in the middle of the room with lingering warmth still in between his fingers.

As Kyungsoo places his hand on the cool doorknob, the other man’s question echoes in his buzzing mind: How much more time are we going to waste? A voice inside him screams ‘no more, no more,’ and it makes Kyungsoo want to cry.

So before he walks out of the dressing room, he turns around and faces Chanyeol, his cheeks tinted red and brows knitted together from holding back his tears. Quietly but surely, he says: “Me either. Wait for me.”

---

“EXO’s Chanyeol never married?” a fan girl asks her friend absentmindedly as she scans the latest KPOP article that recounts EXO’s legendary achievements since their debut almost three decades ago.

“Mmm, but apparently he has a lover,” the friend answers while scrolling through the same article, “don't know who she is but he said they are happy, so isn’t that enough?”

“I suppose… haha, I wonder if his lover is jealous of D.O. since they are so close. Chanyeol calls D.O. his soul mate,” the fangirl giggles and shows her friend her a photo from the article. On the small phone screen, Chanyeol is laughing with his arm wrapped intimately around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, who is also smiling happily.

“They look good together,” the friend comments and also giggles, “I’d ship them.”

“Hm… I guess I’d ship them too,” the fangirl grins as she reads Kyungsoo’s message to Chanyeol in the interview part of the article.

“For the next 10, 20, 30 and 100 years, let’s always stay together.”

---

FIN.