Lily

[pg-13 / dark / angst / detective au / flower au]

Chanyeol’s eyelids peeled open, but the pair of eyes that perpetually haunted his slumbers still burned against the retina of his bloodshot eyes. It had been a year already, yet the flow of time could not wash away the other’s presence from Chanyeol’s consciousness nor the sin he had committed. 

"I don’t blame you,” were the words before Kyungsoo’s last. Taking a whiff of the lily, the man with eyes as dark as the richest amethyst blinked calmly and stared into Chanyeol’s trembling soul. 

“I blame myself for having trusted and loved you, Detective Park Chanyeol." 

The smell of gun powder intermingled with the raw scent of fresh split blood, and those were Doh Kyungsoo’s last words.

The lilies were blooming again. Drops of morning dew as heavy as the man’s heart dropped to the ground and shattered into millions of atomic pieces, shimmering under the peeking sunlight. Chanyeol rubbed his eyes but tiredness remained. He still could not forget that man with the face of an angel but the mind of a devil. 

In the flower shop, Chanyeol approached him and surprisingly, Kyungsoo spoke to him first. 

"When was the last time you stopped and smelled the flowers?”

“Uh… I can’t remember." 

"Then you should stop today,” a smile, “these lilies are wonderful." 

Chanyeol nodded. Six months later as they laid side by side, stark and drenched in sweat, panting heavily while recovering from the moments of passion, Kyungsoo spoke first again. 

"Never thought love at first sight would ever happen to me." 

That was also what he said when Chanyeol pointed a gun at his head another six months later. Except this time around, a smile as delicate as the lilies also adored his face. 

"Cruel world." 

"This is my duty." 

“Cruel fate then." 

Chanyeol never thought he’d ever come to hate the heart shape smile on Kyungsoo’s handsome face. As he stood immobile, clenching a gun against the head of the most wanted criminal in Korean as well as the target of his mission, Chanyeol hated himself. Suddenly, the glories of being a detective and the thrill of being an undercover agent seemed disgusting to him. 

Yet, he pulled the trigger. His pride would never forgive him if he didn’t. His heart and mind though, they will never forgive him ever again, not when Kyungsoo’s blood had been spilt by his own hands. 

Sitting in front of a table decorated with a single pink lily, Chanyeol contemplated when was the last time he stopped thinking. Picking up the stem and bringing the flower underneath his nose, the former detective took a whiff. 

It smelt like regret, Chanyeol thought, it smelt like guilt.

Author's note: I don't know why there is rarely a moment of happiness in my thoughts.