Sail away from lullaby bay.

[ g / angst ]

Tick. Tick. The clock on the wall ticked quietly in the room. The rain had calmed. Midnight fog floated into the bedroom through the slightly agape balcony door. On the bed beneath thick layers of blankets, a slender man curled up with his knees tucked under his chin. His hands gripped tightly to a wrinkled white shirt in front of his chest, as if hanging on to a lifeline. There wasn’t a breeze to tussle his soft tresses. Merely, a wisp of fog caressed over his tear stained cheeks and his frowning brows. Muttering under his breath, incoherent words were lost in the night.  

Chanyeol looked on from the bedroom door. Walking towards the bed, he made no sound. Glancing briefly at the balcony, he frowned. ‘How could he be so careless?’ he thought worriedly. But before he could reach to shut the door, his attention was drawn to the man whispering in his dreams. Shifting in his sleep as his hand tightened around the shirt and his chin tucked even deeper into the blanket, the sleeping man whispered his name.

“Chanyeol…”

Chanyeol’s eyes softened. Gently, he lied down by the curled up figure and he answered softly.

“I’m here, Kyungsoo,” he whispered, “I’m here.”

The sleeping man continued to fidget underneath the blanket and the frown on his face deepened. Chanyeol almost reached out a hand to flatten the knot in between Kyungsoo’s brows, but stopped when he remembered the other was a light sleeper. So instead, he began to sing. Face to face as they lied side by side, Chanyeol began to sing.

“A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain, softly blows over Lullaby Bay. It fills the sails of boats that are waiting, waiting to sail your worries away…”

His song floated above the fog; a haunting voice humming in the night.

“It isn’t far to Hushabye Mountain, and your boat waits down by the quay. The winds of night, so softly are sighing. Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.”

Kyungsoo’s body relaxed. Gradually, his breathing evened. Chanyeol smiled and his deep voice calmed the souls in the dark.

“So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain, wave good bye to cares of the day.”

Slowly, Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered open. Dazed and half-asleep, he regarded the man in front of him with misty eyes. Chanyeol’s white hair shone softly in the muted darkness, as if a halo was above his head.

“And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain…” Chanyeol sang and the smile on his face stretched wider. Seeing the familiar face he had missed so much, Kyungsoo smiled in return. A single tear slide past his cheeks and he shut his eyes again.

“… Sail far away from Lullaby Bay.”

Chanyeol’s deep voice drifted into the night and into his dream. Vaguely in the fog of memories, Kyungsoo saw the tall man’s grinning face. Dressed in a plain white shirt, he looked ordinarily charming while playing a song on his worn out guitar. The warm sunlight streamed into the room and Chanyeol’s bright eyes sparkled mirthfully in the light.

“I’ll be back,” he said and Kyungsoo’s eyes moistened, “I’ll be back,” he said.

When Kyungsoo opened his eyes, there was no sunlight. There was no warmth and there was no more singing. Only a damp and empty room greeted him. Blinking blankly, Kyungsoo moved his fingers and felt the softness of cotton rubbing against his skin. It was another day.

Getting up, closing the balcony door and stumbling out of the bedroom, Kyungsoo rubbed his swollen eyes. Dragging his feet, he pulled himself into the kitchen. In the living room, Chanyeol stood by the window and watched the other with worried eyes. Hesitantly, he called out.

“Good morning.”

But he was only answered by the sound of water being poured into a tea kettle. Lowering his head, Chanyeol sighed. Silently, he made his way to the kitchen and spotted Kyungsoo dazing out by the island counter. Staring at the dark circles around Kyungsoo’s eyes, Chanyeol’s heart tugged painfully. With not a sound, he approached the island and stood across from Kyungsoo. But the latter continued to daze out into space, until the rattling of the tea kettle broke the dense silence. Concerned but voiceless, Chanyeol could only followed the other’s every movement with his gaze.

Pouring tea into a mug then staring at the tea in his mug, Kyungsoo was like a living dead. The answering machine in the living room flashed in the dimly lit room, but Kyungsoo could not be bothered with those messages of condolences. That was not what he needed, he told himself; what he needed was for Chanyeol to come back. Blinking numbly, Kyungsoo watched the wisps of steam rise from his cup. What he needed was for time to turn back, back to that sunny morning before his world crumbled apart. Across the island, Chanyeol simply watched the broken man with sad eyes.

Kyungsoo dazed out until his tea was cold. Then slowly, he poured the liquid down the drain. As he washed the cup, the sound of running facet echoed in the empty house. Suddenly, Kyungsoo remembered the pair of eyes in the middle of the night and the haunting voice singing in the dark. Turning off the tap, he stared at the mug in his hand. The cartoon image of a giraffe bending down to kiss a penguin was printed on the front. It was the last present he had received from Chanyeol. Remembering the silly smile on his tall lover’s face when he handed him the mug, a nostalgic smile surfaced on Kyungsoo’s face as his eyes also welled up from grief. Silently, large drops of tear like pearls on a broken string fell onto the counter. Staring vacantly into the air in front of him, Kyungsoo let the tears fall. In front of him, Chanyeol frowned. With a steady hand, he reached to wipe away the tears. However, the droplets simply went through his fingers and continued to slide down Kyungsoo’s pale cheeks. Wiping again and again, he could not catch any of the falling tears. Devastated, Chanyeol cupped his hands around Kyungsoo’s face, but the other could not feel his warmth.

“I’m here, Kyungsoo,”he whispered repeatedly at the weeping man in front of him, “I’m here, Kyungsoo… I’m here…”

But he knew Kyungsoo would never hear him again.

Looking down at the curled up man passed out from fatigue on the bed, Chanyeol’s eyes moistened. Running a hand over Kyungsoo’s swollen eyes, he laid down next to him. Face to face as they lied side by side, Chanyeol began to sing.

“A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain, softly blows over Lullaby Bay,” gently, he sang, “It fills the sails of boats that are waiting, waiting to sail your worries away…”

The song Chanyeol sang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sn6Tol70BjU