A/N: Before you begin reading, make sure you've read the foreward because that has a little bit of description abou the characters.  

Please note that my spelling may be slightly different to yours. Because I live in Australia I spell everything in the UK English way :)

This story contains ual refrences, violence, mentioning of depression and mature themes. 

Chapter Thirty Five
Heartbreak

Krystal

It’s been 2 days since I last talked to Jongin, after that argument.

It’s been a day since I accepted to go to America. Dad was proud, so was step mum, she said she wanted to host a goodbye party with all my friends. Jessica was the happiest, she believed that it would be a new chapter of my life. Speaking of my sister, I finally took her to Seyeon, their reunion was a lot different to mine and Seyeon’s. Jessica took it in well and everything went satisfactorily, but she still doesn’t know about mum’s journal. I plan to give it to her the day before I leave.

Today is a day I have been waiting for years, graduation.

Everyone is dressed in their senior school uniform and most of us are lined up to accept our certificates. I am too. In fact, I’m standing beind Sulli. We’re backstage because the principal is still doing his speech and I have been trying to look for Jongin but he’s nowhere to be found.

“Hey.” A voice whispered and I turned around, it was Sehun.

“Hi.” I greeted back.

“Did you and Kai have a fight?” He asked.

“Kind of.” I murmured.

Sehun sighed and grabbed my wrist, which hurt because of the unhealed cuts and pulled me to the end of the line so that we had more time to talk.

“Did you two break up?” He asked.

“Not really… I don’t know, why? Did he say something?” I answered.

“No he’s just been moody and down. I asked what was wrong but he wouldn’t say.” Sehun replied.

“Is he here?”

He nodded.

“Krystal Jung.” The principal said and I walked on stage, earning small claps. I shook the principal’s hand and accepted my certificate, then went back downstairs to the backstage area.

“We have officially graduated.” Sulli said with disbelief.

“We have this feels so weird, this year went so quickly!” Luna exclaimed.

“Because you were too busy partying! I don’t know how you passed everything.” Chanyeol muttered.

“YAH! I did not party heaps!” Luna exclaimed.

I laughed along with the group until my sight reached to him. He looked at me with a grin then gestured his head up. I automatically knew he wanted to meet at the rooftop.

“Be right back.” I said and quickly walked off, trying to follow Kai.

When I reached the usual, school rooftop I was greeted by a different atmosphere. Usually it’s a small breeze on a sunny/cloudy day but right now it was dark because it was night. I had never been up to the school rooftop at night, so it felt dissimilar to usual.

“Remember when I followed you here at the start of the year and we talked about the Script? And I made you listen to Diplo’s songs?” Jongin said as he let out a chuckle.

“Yes.” I replied, sitting next to him on the same bench. Of course I remember, that day changed my life.

“I’m sorry Soojung. If I made you think that I didn’t want you, of course I want you, I want you by my side forever. I just felt too greedy.. Not allowing you to accept your life-changing opportunities and pathways.” He said. I felt the sincerity of his voice.

“I’m sorry too. For yelling at you and leaving the house that night.” I murmured, trying to hold back my tears—everything was making me too emotional.

“I still want you to go, it’s my one wish.” He said.

“I’m going.” I announced, no one had known except my family.

“What?” Jongin whispered as he looked at me.

“I accepted the offer.” I repeated.

“Wow… I’m so… I’m so happy for you.” He said.

“It’s what you wanted.” I said.

“It is.”

“But… I am willing to cancel it if you ask me to stay, right here, by your side.”

Jongin remained silent. I already knew his answer, it turned out I needed him more than he needed me.

“It’s okay. I understand, I get it.” I said.

“Of course I want you to stay, I really do but I don’t think I’ll be able to feel happy when I know you sacrificed something huge for me. You’ve already done a lot for me Soojung.”

“Sometimes Jongin, you’re really frustrating and I cant comprehend how you feel.” I said honestly and walked out, because my heart ached too much.

To me, Jongin was sometimes a completely different person.

Just like that time when he began pushing me away because he felt guilty about the court case. To now, right this situation. The past couple of days I assumed he was hiding a big secret again… But now I feel as though I’m the one clinging onto him, and I’m the one that’s needs him more and I’m the one that loves him more.

It’s hard, just leaving a person you spent nearly 365 days with; but now I’m starting to think that I should learn how to live without relying on someone else. Like, mum, I depended on her for my whole life and I lost her. I don’t want to go through that experience again.

“I honestly cannot believe I’m at your house Krystal! It’s so beautiful!” Victoria said as she looked around.

“To be honest this is just a huge party with media and economics, but it’s a ‘goodbye party for Krystal’.” I muttered.

4 days before my departure, my step mum, as promised hosted a party for me. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, maybe it was because the group except Jongin was here. Surely he would have heard that I’m leaving in days now…