A/N: Before you begin reading, make sure you've read the foreward because that has a little bit of description abou the characters.  

Please note that my spelling may be slightly different to yours. Because I live in Australia I spell everything in the UK English way :)

This story contains ual refrences, violence, mentioning of depression and mature themes. 

Chapter Twentyone

Kangwondo 3

Krystal

“So… What’s up?” He asked with a light chuckle.

I was still extremely nervous from what I was going to say, I wasn’t even processing through what I was planning to say, which is to tell him… everything..?

“Do you remember what Suho said last night?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

There was a small silence until Jongin finally spoke up.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know how I feel.” I said very honestly.

“I don’t know how you feel either.” He said back, with a chuckle.

“I mean… I really like Suho but…” I murmured as I began walking, allowing my bare feet to be splashed on the cold beach waves.

I felt the presence of Jongin following my footsteps, I eventually stopped walking when Suho’s beach house wasn’t in sight. Which is quite far away.

“I don’t know what I’m saying.” I said very honestly, facing him.

“I don’t know why I’m talking to you about this.” I said again.

“Can you tell me what to do? He risked out friendship for this. I don’t want to reject him but I don’t know if I want to accept him.” I stuttered. This is totally not what I was planning to say.

“Shouldn’t you do whatever feels right?” He questioned.

I nodded. That was rhetorical and it wasn’t the answer I was trying to get.

“Jongin, why did we kiss?” I asked confidently but inside I was panicking.

“I don’t know. Maybe we were too caught in the moment.” He simply replied.

I looked into his eyes, but the longer I did, disappointment was running through my mind.

“But I don’t think I was.” I said, with all the strength I have.

Jongin didn’t really respond, I had no idea what was going through his mind. It was completely blocked out, while mine was opened up like a flower.

“I mean… I’m having a lot of different feelings… About you.” I murmured.

“Krystal don’t.” He said, speaking almost immediately after I said my words.

“Suho just asked you out, we’re both friends with him. I’ve been friends with him since junior high, sure he’s had girlfriends before but he’s never asked a girl out or confessed to someone before. I can see it quite clearly; he likes you, more than you think. And if you keep him hanging and run to me and tell me that you don’t know how you feel, especially towards me, I can’t help you. I’m not a fortune teller, I don’t know what you are thinking of, I don’t know how you feel. You have to figure them out yourself.” He said.

I felt my heart slowly breaking, it was more painful than the cuts on my arms.

“What are you trying to say?” I whispered.

“I’m trying to say that I was a second late and our friend has confessed to you.” Jongin muttered.

“What if I like you?” The last bit of my confidence rose up and I spat it out, for him, for the whole world to hear.

A long dead silence filled the atmosphere; only the sound of the waves and the cold breeze could be heard.

“You don’t.” He finally said coldly.

“You don’t like me Krystal. You’re just used to my company, so you like me in that way. You said you want to get closer to the group right? I believe that I’m in your way. You haven’t had the chance to spend as much time as every single one of them than you have with me.”

“You just said you’re not a fortune teller and you don’t know how I feel, but why are you so sure that I don’t have feelings for you?” I confronted.

I felt my heart breaking even more and the tears were so close to gushing out of my eyes.

“You and I both know Suho’s a great guy. I have never, ever had a fight with him. He is one of the most considerate, most responsible people I know. If you want the chance to see the world clearer, follow his footsteps, not mine.” He said coldly.

“What?” I frowned, feeling confused.

“That’s my advice for you.” Jongin muttered.

I looked down, holding in the tears and I tried not to show them to him.

I was confused, extremely confused at the situation. What the hell did he mean when he said that he was a