A/N: Before you begin reading, make sure you've read the foreward because that has a little bit of description abou the characters.  

Please note that my spelling may be slightly different to yours. Because I live in Australia I spell everything in the UK English way :)

This story contains ual refrences, violence, mentioning of depression and mature themes. 

Chapter Twenty Two
hurt
the long bits that are in italics are flashback

Krystal

“So you haven’t talked to him at all ever since?” Sulli asked, for the 20th time.

I nodded, biting into my sandwich but then I realised I had no appetite.

It had been exactly 1 and half weeks since we got back from Kangwondo.
1 and half weeks since I semi-confessed to Jongin.

1 and half weeks since Suho confessed to me.

“Next time you want to be by yourself, don’t be by yourself.” Suho advised.

We were both squatting down on the roads in the back yard of the beach house. After Jongin broke my heart I needed time to settle, but I didn’t know time flew so fast and I sure didn’t know everyone was looking for me.

I giggled. “What’s the point of saying that?” I questioned.

“I don’t know what you’re upset about and I’m not going to force you to tell me what’s wrong. But I want you to know that I’m a shoulder you can lean… Or even cry on.” Suho said nicely.

“And just because you know I like you, it doesn’t mean we have to be awkward.” He mentioned.

I nodded.

“What do you like about me? You… Basically know everything bad about me, my cuts… my life…” I mumbled.

“I don’t know. It’s just different with you I guess… Can’t really explain my inner feelings.” He said.

“Suho can I tell you my answer now?” I asked gently, looking at him.

“If you’re not going to regret what you’re about to say, then… Yes, you may.”

I sighed. “First of all, you are such a wonderful person. I owe you so much, and I know I’ve only gotten to know you better this year but… I feel like we’ve been best friends since childhood, I find your lame jokes surprisingly funny and I like it when you walk me home. When you confessed I… I was shocked but I considered it. I considered the imagination of going on dates with you and being loved by you. It felt phenomenal. I liked it. But not in that way, I guess I like you as a brother, as a best friend.” I explained.

This felt right, telling Suho the truth, even though it’s going to hurt felt right.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered as I leaned on his shoulder.

“It’s okay.” He muttered.

“I hope our friendship doesn’t change. I still want to have cup ramen hangs with you.” I said.

“I would like that.”

Ever since that night my friendship with Suho seem to have grown. We spent more and more time together and it was good. But god knows I much I wish that was Jongin.

Jongin had been avoiding me for the past week and half. He either skips the lessons he have with me or sits at a different seat. It’s obvious. Maybe I was too harsh on him? Or maybe he really just doesn’t like me. I attempted approaching him, sending him texts but I would only get short replies or even no replies. Even though it’s only been around 10 days I felt like my world was ending. What if Jongin becomes Jessica? But he promised.

“He’s been acting weird too lately. And with holidays coming up, this really isn’t helping. You guys have to be friends again so that we go to parties and stuff in the holidays!” Sulli exclaimed.

“We can still go to parties Sulli. We’ve basically been ignoring eachother for the past week and half at lunch times.” I said, trying to cheer her up.

“Yeah but it’s better when there’s no beef around.” She muttered

“Me and Jong—Kai aren’t having beef.” I said.

“Maybe you two should solve the beef by eating beef?” She joked.

“Solve what beef with beef? I’m up for beef.” Chanyeol said as he sat on the table.

“Not that beef you idiot, the ‘problems’ beef.” Sulli said.

“Oh. Who’s having beef with who?” Chanyeol asked.

“Don’t worry.” I murmured.

Once everyone had joined the table, including Jongin I decided to go up to the rooftop. Fresh air is definitely what I needed the most right now.

“Well, I’m off guys.” I said, standing up.

“Where are you going Krys?” Luna asked with a frown.

“Oh I’m just going to the library to see my history teacher, there’s something I need to ask her.” I said quickly, making up a lie.

“Want some company?” Suho offered.

“No its okay. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” I said and bid them goodbye.

The rooftop had always been a great place for alone time.
Except after I met Kai it’s been more of a place for the two of us. I liked that, but I also liked being alone and away from everyone.

Today I decided not to listen to music, instead I sat on the bench and pulled out mum’s journal. Just to read another entry of it. I was more than half way through