A/N: Before you begin reading, make sure you've read the foreward because that has a little bit of description abou the characters.  

Please note that my spelling may be slightly different to yours. Because I live in Australia I spell everything in the UK English way :)

This story contains ual refrences, violence, mentioning of depression and mature themes. 

Chapter Twenty Five
Follow your heart

Krystal

I guess today isn’t my death date, because the car stopped only a few centimetres next to me. For a moment I felt a bit of self pity.

“Soojung what the ? Why didn’t you move?!” A familiar voice yelled angrily as a figure surged out of the car.

But then I realised it was him. It was Jongin, the person I’ve been longing for all week. What a coincidence.

He stood opposite me as he breathed heavily.

My heart wanted to hug him tight and tell him everything that was happening to me, I wanted his comforting words and support. But my pride did not let me.

“Because I didn’t want to.” I murmured.

Jongin shut his eyes for a brief moment then re-opened them to look at me. Then in a split second he pulled me into his embrace and I felt his warmth again. Tears were close to rushing down my cheeks but they stopped when I realised Jongin smelt like alcohol.

He let me go and asked me what was wrong. Was he in his right state in the first place?

“Why didn’t you come see me at the hospital? Surely you would have known.” I said, ignoring his question.

“I asked you first.” Jongin said coldly.

“Can you just answer me first.” I asked, feeling tired.

“Stop being so stubborn Soojung.”

Ouch, that hurt a little.

“Do you really want to know what’s wrong?” I asked.

Jongin only looked at me with his glistening eyes.

“Everything is wrong Jongin. Everything. From the fact that my family didn’t even know I wasn’t in the house for a week to the fact that everyone knew about my mum’s secret affair except me then to the circumstance that she ing had cancer. I had a whole heap of hatred on dad but they all turned into dust within minutes, oh then I fight with my mind about you. Contemplating on contacting you first even though you keep pushing me away. I knew this would happen, you broke down all the walls I’ve been building for years and you say all these comforting words that I keep longing, then you start ignoring me after I practically told you that I was in love with you. Then you suddenly rock out of nowhere after I waited a week for you to come see me at the ing hospital.” I yelled, releasing all my anger and sadness.

Jongin stood still very quietly.

“Why did I even think you were different in the first place? I mean… You’re Kai and I’m Krystal, we’re different people just living in the same world.” I muttered.

It was my chance to get away from him before the tears fell down. As I took each step away I secretly hoped he would pull me back and apologise, then everything would be somewhat okay. But he didn’t. Oh wait a second….
“Soojung!” He yelled and ran towards me.

I faced him again with tears spilling down .

“Please don’t self harm. Please eat more. Please smile.” He begged then walked off.

My heart broke again.

He knows that I… self harm? The one secret I was desperate to keep away… He already knew? I mean… How? The only person that knows my secret is… Suho.

I walked straight to his house in the dark and called him to come out because I didn’t want to go in. I was fuming with anger, I trusted him. I trusted everyone. All I get back is betrayal, of course, I should have expected it anyway, its my fault, all of this is my fault.

“Hey, whats up? Why don’t you come in its cold out here.” Suho frowned.

“You would be the last person I would expect to break such a secret. How can you do this Suho? I know I’ve hurt you but come on, you honestly didn’t need to get back to me this way. ‘On the verge of an eating disorder?’ that! I don’t even care about that because it can be fixed. But this.” I said angrily as I showed him my arm. “This is what I am, who I am and no matter how much I try I keep coming back for more. I hate myself for doing it, it’s filthy, I’m disgusting. That’s why I didn’t want anyone, especially you or Jongin to know. But how could you go blab it to him? I mean.. When did you?I”

Suho only looked at me blankly.

“I’m disappointed in you Suho.” I murmured as I was ready to walk off.

“Krystal.” He called.

I was planning to ignore him but I honestly couldn’t.

“I haven’t told a single soul about… that. I would never tell anyone unless you wanted me to. I promise you I did not tell Kai.” He said seriously.

What? If Suho didn’t tell him how did Jongin find out?

“Oh.”

“I’m assuming you finally saw him?” He asked, walking up to me.

I nodded.

“I was surprised at how you didn’t ask about him for the past week.”

I didn’t reply, because I was too busy holding in my tears and trying to figure out how Jongin found out. I never wanted to talk about Jongin with Suho because in that way I’m being a complete . I honestly didn’t want to but… I couldn’t help but spill tears at how confused and hurt I felt about him. I know I can’t cry in front of Suho when I’m well aware that he has feelings for me. But he