Monday

School went by without any problems, though I wasn't really paying attention to what the teacher said. You can't judge me, I had enough to think about already. Sohee had been ignoring me the whole morning, just like the days before, and I got really worried by now. I know I should have asked her, but I couldn't get a hold of her.

Until lunch, that is.

Daehyun and I were about to finish eating when Sohee appeared in my field of vision, walking up to us while chewing on her bottom lip. “Soora, could I talk to you for a moment?” I glanced at Daehyun who gave me an encouraging smile before I nodded, standing up and following her out of the cafeteria. She remained quiet, not saying a word until we stopped on the school's roof – a very popular place when it came to deep conversations – and I hoped that she would finally tell me what was wrong.

I let my gaze wander over the forest that was marking the horizon, somewhere far away and it remained silent for another ten seconds until she turned around, leaning against the banister to face me. “I'm sorry for ignoring you. It was mean”, she mumbled and I swallowed, eyes returning to her. Wait, she really wanted to apologize? The Sohee I knew didn't care about stuff like that. I cocked my head to the side with a questioning gaze, because she seemed to expect something from me, but I didn't know what. “A-and, what do you say?”

“What do you mean 'what do you say'?”, I asked carefully and she snorted.

“Will you accept my apology?”

I inhaled in understanding, burying my hands in my jacket's pockets. It was cold up here. “Sure. If you tell me what was wrong in the first place, that is.”

Sohee bit her lower lip again. A habit of hers when she was nervous. “Do I have to?” I nodded. “I don't want you to get this wrong, that's all...just...Promise me that nothing will change, okay?”

As my confusion kept growing, I shrugged. “Well, we'll see that when you tell me, right?”, I said with a grin. “It can't be that bad, spit it out, Sohee.”

She inhaled and exhaled again as if she had to gather her courage. “I...You know... I don't know when this started myself, but...well...”, she stuttered while fiddling with one of her bracelets and I raised an eyebrow. It then seemed to burst out of her. “I like Daehyun, too!”, she exclaimed, eyes widening because she was afraid of my reaction.

And she'd have to wait for a few moments. My mind was working on what she had said and slowly but surely, the realization sank in. She liked the person that was my boyfriend. The boyfriend I wasn't being completely serious about anymore. I stood there frozen.

“I know you must be shocked now, but I just...I don't know.” Yes I was shocked, but not because of her actual confession.

“But you're always making fun of him?”

“Th-that's how I conceal it!” Sohee scratched the back of her head in cluelessness. My problem were the consequences. “But I can see how happy he is with you. Don't you hurt him, that's all I want you to promise me, can you do that?” Those consequences.

I could feel how my head began to shake. “I can't”, I breathed quietly, eyes still wide as I took her hand in mine.

“What did you say?”

“I-I'm really sorry, Sohee. I didn't mean to take him away from you, it was just, you know, he asked me in the first place, not the other way round and I didn't know what to do, I was so lonely and then Zelo ran away and I didn't know what to do anymore, because I-” I stopped myself from spilling any more information and took a deep breath. Calm down, she mustn't know about this. “All I can say is that I'm the one who should be sorry”, I repeated slowly as Sohee stared at me in surprise.

“You mean, you're not...you're not angry? Not at all?”, she asked in complete confusion and I managed to smirk somehow. This was really getting worse with every second.

“What? No! Why should I in the first place? He...he is good-looking after all, isn't he?”, I replied, trying to cover my trembling hands by hiding them in my jacket again. I felt like a bug in front of a spiderweb. One wrong move and I'd be in trouble.

Sohee nodded, still unable to believe that my reaction was real. “And kind... He doesn't care about one's appearance”, she whispered, walking back to the stairs in a hurry while clearing . “Now that this is cleared up, can we, you know, go back to what it was like before? You don't have to if you don't want to, it's just-”

“It's fine.” I spoke a bit too fast and my voice was just a bit higher than usual, but I tried not to show how freaked out I was on the inside. I had just promised Daehyun that we'd go and meet Himchan when school was out so that I could introduce him properly and now, my friend confessed that she liked him too? When I should actually have broken up with him two days ago? This wasn't just a spiderweb. It was a damn maze and every time I could see the exit, every time I could solve my problems, I turned away, because I was afraid of what might lie beyond. Some have to learn it the hard way.

“Let's just go, it's cold up here, isn't it?”, I suggested with a smile and Sohee smiled back in relief.

But what was actually cold was myself.

Two hours later, I was standing in front of my own house, a pale Daehyun clutching at my right hand. “And you're sure you're not sick? You can go home if you don't feel well”, I asked for the umpteenth time and, just like before, he nodded.

“I'm just a little nervous.”

“Look at you. There's nothing to be nervous about! It's not like his reaction would change anything, right?” Though I wished that maybe Himchan didn't like Daehyun and I'd have a more or less legitimate reason for breaking up with him. Well, it would still be better than having to tell him that I had kind of cheated on him. Though I still tried to convince myself that I didn't like Zelo. Yeah, right, as if. “We'll just go in now, okay?”, I suggested and, again, Daehyun could only nod as I unlocked the door.

I couldn't even imagine how huge the chaos I'd cause now would be.

“Himchan-oppa?”, I shouted through our house and I could hear the door to his room open before he came down the stairs.

“Yeah, princess?”, he asked during his short journey, but could just frown when he saw Daehyun to my left, who was tightening his grasp on my hand as if he'd fall to pieces if he let go.

“I wanted to introduce you to him, because I don't know if you actually know him: Himchan, that is Daehyun. Jung Daehyun, my... boyfriend.” My heartbeat quickened. You could say I was nervous too, but in reality it was my body's reaction to lies and guilt piling up inside of me. Still, this was of unexpectedly few importance at that moment, because I was concerned that Daehyun would just collapse at any second while my brother was scanning him from head to toe, his frown deepening. I tried to break the silence by clearing my throat. “Daehyun: That's my big brother Himchan-”

“What's with the tall boy?” My gaze wandered to find Himchan looking at me now, confusion to be found in his eyes.

“Huh?” I felt dumb, but what was he talking about?

“Well, when I arrived here, you were very close to that tall boy who just left right after I came. You never told me his name, I thought that was your Daehyun... You were holding hands and stuff, remember? It really looked like he was your boyfri- Oh , uhm...N-never mind, I guess?” My eyes widened as I understood what he meant. Of course he hadn't forgotten about me and Junhong. It had only been two days after all. Me. And. JUNHONG. . And we hadn't even done anything on purpose, it just happened, why did Himchan mention this now that Daehyun was- .... Daehyun.

I looked at the dark haired male to my left in fear, who stared back at me in shock. Himchan seemed to know what he had done, but he didn't plan on doing something. As always, he was just watching! “Tall....boy...? Could it be...Zelo? Very close?”, Daehyun whispered, letting go of my hand all of a sudden. “Holding hands. You and Zelo...You two...?” I took a step towards him, but he backed away again, not wanting to let me come closer. “What's your relationship? What is he to you?”

“Dae, you get this wrong. Yes, it was Zelo, that's true a-and, uhm- I think that's the wrong question, he didn't know what he was doing-”

“What is he to you?”, he repeated himself and I swallowed before taking a rattling breath. The castle of glass broke, I could almost hear it. “Or rather what does he think of you?”

“H-he told me that he likes me.” I kept staring at him while whispering these words and his shock changed into anger.

“When?”

“A-a few days ago, two days, b-but it's not like that! You know how much I missed him, right? That's why, when he came back, I-”

“Held his hand?”, Daehyun finished my sentence an expression of pure horror on his face. “You're not like that when you meet a friend. You've never been like that, only with Jongup. You don't like skinship that much, I know that. You like him, don't you? That's why you cared so much. The reason why you were so down two weeks ago? I should have known. I was such a fool-”

“Daehyun, no, we didn't- I...I mean, I didn't want it to-”

“Tell me I wasn't just a substitute”, Daehyun interrupted me bitterly, his voice nothing but a hiss that contained a mixture of emotions. Sadness. Anger. Disappointment. Shock. I hesitated for a second, lowering my gaze so that I couldn't meet his eyes that were definitely hoping for me to tell him that this was all wrong.

“You weren't. But wh-when he came back on Friday, I was just so happy. I didn't think he'd do anythi-” I couldn't lie anymore. And I wouldn't. I wasn't a good liar, I've never been. “I didn't think he would kiss me, Daehyun.”

My opponent took a rattling breath. There was an unknown coldness to his voice now. “You kissed?” Why don't I just deny all the facts? Why?

“I didn't mean to let him do it-”

“But you did.” Because it isn't only Zelo's fault after all. Why hadn't I ended this when I still had the chance to? Why had I even started it? I reached out with my hand to comfort Daehyun, but he fended it off, retreating to the door without ever letting his eyes leave me. I didn't look at him directly, but I could feel them like two spears that were piercing me.

“Don't go and hear me out, that's not all”, I whispered, finally regretting what I tried to displace for the last two days as I dared to meet his eyes.

“I've heard enough.”

Remaining silent wasn't always the best way to avoid problems after all. But now, it was too late and I can only repeat myself: Some have to learn it the hard way. “Please don't go.”

“I'm afraid I have no choice.” With these words, Daehyun turned around, opened the door and slammed it shut only a second later.

I ran after him, still wearing my school uniform and stuff as I tried to catch up with the person that was getting on his motorbike. I wouldn't reach him in time. “Daehyun, stop, don't think I-”

“Leave me alone, Soora”, he interrupted me, put on his helmet and drove off into the streets of the busy city.

He was gone.

I don't know how I got there, but the next thing I remember is that I was on the bus towards a certain stick-figure's house. There were a few silent tears escaping from my eyes every once in a while, but other than that, I wouldn't even move the tiniest bit. I was in shock. Daehyun, I thought over and over again. The way he had looked at me as if I was the most disgusting thing on earth – but I guess at that moment, I was. I couldn't handle it, I should have ended it when I had the chance to, but instead, I let him discover it on his own.

I could say that I had only wanted his best and didn't want to see him sad, but that would just be an excuse for the lies I told him, the lies I tried to tell myself. And since Daehyun had run away, the least I could do was clearing this mess up starting from Junhong. You've got to start somewhere, right? I'd tell him that I liked him, liked him in that particular way. But I'd also tell him that I didn't see any possibility of us being together in the future. He wasn't exactly what my father wanted to see by my side. I had finally realized that maybe I couldn't win against the Untouchables either – it was Junhong's fight for freedom, not mine. I would start now.

I got off the bus, slowly breathing in and out, forming tiny white clouds in the cold air as I took one step after another. I'd tell him so many things, I wouldn't let him wait and I wouldn't let the lies pile up in my head again. Bringing Daehyun to ruin was already a crime, but dragging Junhong into misery as well would be unforgivable.

I could already see his house as I rounded the last corner, my pace speeding up a bit. I was so focused on getting there, I didn't notice the people following me until suddenly, an arm wrapped around my shoulders from behind and a hand holding some piece of cloth covered my mouth.

I let out a shriek of surprise and my eyes widened as I tried to make out who was keeping me in check. I wanted to scream, ask what was going on, but somehow I felt my eyelids become heavier with every time I blinked. “Yo, stop resisting, broad”, a hoarse voice ordered next to my ear as a black frame began to form around my field of vision. “Ya ain't gettin' away anyway.” I opened my mouth to shout something, but no sounds came out of my throat and the black frame grew until I could see nothing but pitch black darkness. What the hell was going on?!

“Sweet dreams girl.”

Dundunduuuuuun! Soora, why did you let all of this happen?! °A°

Well, she's got a few problems now and her relationships don't seem to be the worst, trust me |D It might be confusing and a lot at once, but it's fine this way, I guess~

B.A.P's comeback, guys. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. I've missed them so much, I can't believe it and the songs are all so different, it's great, don't you think!? Go, keep watching the MV so that at 3 million views we'll get the first ever B.A.P dance practice, please o3o