Because I'm jealous

Learn to love again

Soora's POV

 

I called Jongmin to come and get us and he didn't question the sudden appearance of Zelo, knowing that I wouldn't have answered anyway. All he did was raising an eyebrow, but the look in my eyes seemed to achieve the desired, firm effect. I had locked Zelo's wrist with my hand, not letting go of it until we sat in the car.

He was pouting. He turned away from me, knowing that I'd notice it, and stared out of the window, his eyes glued to something only he could see as he was thinking about something. I felt like he was actually disappointed because of himself. I had noticed how his eyes had become uncertain and shy while we were at the orphanage with me asking him about his past.

I swear, his mask was cracking.

I just had to give it another flaw to make it crumble to pieces and I was determined to do exactly that.

We reached my house and Zelo and I got off at the same time with me unlocking the door for him to go inside. I waved at Jongmin when he drove back to help at my father's exhibition while Hye-sun had her day off today.

We were alone.

But Zelo didn't seem to care, because he just walked straight through the corridor and I could see that he wanted to hide himself in his room again. I sighed before catching up and grabbed him by the collar, which was a little bit too high for me, but he hesitated for a second, standing still. That was all I wanted. He just didn't stop glaring at me for a while and yet, the insecurity I had noticed in his eyes earlier was still there. Good, now it was time to do what I had wanted to do since I had seen his bruised hand at the orphanage. “Sit”, I ordered, forcing him to sit down on the sofa in the living room as he groaned in dissatisfaction.

“Can't you just let me be for an hour or something like that?”, he asked angrily, but I just shook my head, running upstairs to get the first-aid kit and back down again. He was rubbing his temple with his left hand – not the injured right one, just to mention it – when I sat down next to him. I took his hand in mine, causing him to withdraw it on the spot. “What are you doing?!”

“Shut up and give me your wounded hand, stick-figure!”, I hissed desperately, causing him to freeze for a moment. After I had told him that I wanted to help him somehow, he still didn't believe me when I offered him to heal his hand? He had to learn to use that beating thing called heart again. Something was wrong in there. Zelo swallowed, his gaze wandering between his hand and my firm eyes before offering me his hand to bandage it.

I nodded in satisfaction while he seemed to crumple up slowly. His voice was quiet, a whisper. “How long will it take you to get that I don't want your help?”

At first, I didn't want to reply, but then, I felt that he would never really understand if I stayed quiet. Instead, I lightly over his blue knuckles, making him shiver. His hand was broken, I guessed. At least contused. That guy was really stupid. “At least as long as it will take you to get that I'm never going to leave you alone with your problems”, I answered then, applying some gel-like medicine to the hand and I could see how his expression switched from pained to relieved. “See?”

Zelo avoided my gaze, of course, but he didn't leave, letting me fix the bandage. Neither did he speak louder, I could barely understand him. “Never is a powerful word”, he mumbled, sounding broken and hopeless.

That's the point. 'Zelo experienced many betrayals in the past', that's what Yongguk had written the other day. 'Never' and 'always' were difficult words to him, because of these betrayals. What betrayals? His parents? “I know. But it's a promise I could keep if you let me understand your reasons.”

He snorted, suddenly angry. “And then? Am I always going to run to you when I'm injured? Am I always going to tell you about all my worries and problems, because you act like you care?”, he snarled, making me flinch at his harsh tone before I decided to hug him.

You read this right, I hugged him. I felt like it would be the best to show him that I wasn't just talking big, but meaning it the way I was saying it. He jerked when I hugged him by the chest, trying not to squeeze him too much so that his rib wouldn't be any more damaged than it had been by the kids already.

“That would be a good start”, I mumbled against his shoulder before releasing him to look at his face. Okay, that was gorgeous. He had a somewhat panicking glimmer in his eyes and was staring at me in a confused way, signalizing me that I had caught him off guard. “Now, will you let me take care of you?”, I asked to make him move again.

Zelo coughed a few times before sighing and looking at his now bandaged hand. “How can you offer me something like that so casually? What are your reasons?”

I rolled with my eyes, but guessed that an ironic answer would miss its desired effect. We were going round in circles, which is why I decided to go with what was deep inside of me. Soora becoming all deep now. “Because I'm jealous.”

My opponent frowned, snorting at the foolishness of my answer. “What is there to be jealous about? You're rich. You can do whatever you want. What should I have that you don't? I'm the one who should be jealous instead, don't you think?” His smile was weak, but at least he was trying to understand me.

“Right. I can do whatever I want to”, I stated before sighing. “And because of that, I have never been confronted with problems or hardships. I want to know what they are like, so please introduce me to that world. I'm offering you my world for yours, is that a deal?” It was a big thing to say and I knew I couldn't switch places with him just like that, but I really wanted to see what it was like...to take care of yourself.

And again, Zelo didn't let me. “Mine's a world I want nobody to live in. Not even you. But...” He extended the pinky of his left hand as if to make me promise something and smirked in a mischievous way. “I will make you experience some problems if you let me take part in your activities. I am curious too, you know?”

I swallowed. I had said that I wanted problems, which was a rather unusual thing, I know, and I was ready to show him a world without them in return. Fine, why not?

“Okay”, I mumbled, linking fingers with him, before adding: “I feel like a child, doing a pinky-promise.”

He then glared at me, standing up to leave for his room. “There's nothing childish about promises. No matter how you make them, got it? I'll be going then. See you when dinner is ready.” That said, he turned around to leave for his room, letting me sit on the sofa with a resigned smile.

I couldn't change him from one second to the other, but he had promised to show me a part of his world. I knew he'd start with the orphanage when he was ready.

All I had to do was wait.

 

 

And I'd have to wait for a while.

Zelo's behavior didn't change for the next couple of days...well, at least he wasn't running from talking to me anymore, but when we sat in the living room together, we didn't really say anything. It just turned out to be that way, I can't tell you why. I spent the afternoons with Jongup – who wanted to avoid Zelo as often as possible, because they really seemed to hate each other – and ate ice cream with Daehyun after school. Well, my daily schedule didn't change at all.

Then, on a Tuesday, Jongin – the school's playboy, you remember? – invited our whole class to join him for a party in the evening. I hated parties, but why shouldn't I take Zelo with me? He might tell me something about the differences between Jongin's party and clubbing when experiencing it! Perfect plans, as always, Soora.

Daehyun walked up to my desk when he heard about the invitation. “I see Jongin wants to get himself a new girl?”, he stated, glancing at the playboy in disgust. “I heard the last time, he even invited our teachers and got scolded right away.” The dark-haired boy chuckled, but I had just thought of my Zelo-party-plan and didn't really care about what he was saying at that moment.

“I think I'm going.”

“WHAT?!”, Daehyun exclaimed, almost shrieking while sitting down on a chair and facing me with a gaze as if I was insane. “Didn't you hear what I was saying just now?! That guy is dangerous, I say! Plus, you have more to worry about than a party. You know it's your mother's...I mean, it's that day of the year tomorrow, right?”

I glanced at him with a pout. Why was he reminding me of tomorrow? I knew better than anyone else and I thought a party might make it less sad for me...“Why? Can you decide what's good for me? I'll go. The last party I went to was the goodbye-party Junmyun held for our exchange student, it's been some time since then.”

My friend snorted, his chin resting on his hands. “That Canadian guy? I don't even remember his name... however, if you go, I'll go too! Someone needs to protect you from those playboys after all...”

That made me frown and grin at the same time. “Jung Daehyun at a party? What will your mother say?”, I , but he endured it by closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Besides, Zelo will be coming with me anyway. I'll be safe, don't wo-”

“If Zelo comes along it's even worse to me! You know I don't like-” He broke off when he saw my glare, signalizing him to stay quiet about that thing. Daehyun cleared his throat. “I'll go there too. I swear if any of the guys there lay a finger on you, they're dead meat.”

Sohee's high-pitched voice stopped me from discussing that. “Look who's talking. New money, the last time you saw a spider you were freaking out. How would you fight someone like Jongin?” She sat down next to us and sent a dreamy gaze towards said boy whose muscles could be seen as he had rolled up his shirt's sleeves. Someone's falling for the trap here.

I exchanged glances with Daehyun who rolled with his eyes when I raised an eyebrow. “Come on, it will be fun!”, I exclaimed cheerfully, laying my arms around my two friends.

Sohee winked at Jongin when he looked our way with a crooked smirk. “You bet it will”, she whispered and smiled back at him.

Daehyun on the other hand could just sigh in helplessness, a bitter undertone in his voice. “I can't wait for it...”

 

When I got home, I threw my backpack through the living room so that it landed on the sofa. A spot landing as expected from Kim Soora! I sent Hye-sun a message, saying that Zelo and I wouldn't eat dinner at home tonight before shouting as loud as possible: “Stick-figure!”

It took him a few seconds, but then, I heard someone shuffling, coming towards me with a yawn. He had kept his wounded hand in the pocket of his hoodie for the past days so that it could heal. It was difficult for him, because he could only use one hand all of a sudden. “What is it, girl? I was taking a nap, you know?”

I pointed at him with my finger. “You'll need the energy, because tonight, we're invited to a party! Be prepared!” Where did my good mood come from? I was happy to socialize after some time, it was...nice to spend some time with other people besides Daehyun and Jongup. Of course, the fact that Daehyun would be there too would make it more fun, because we loved to make fun of other people's problems – which nail polish to put on, or which hairstyle suited the shoes best. It was really ridiculous sometimes.

Zelo scratched the back of his head with his uninjured hand while yawning once again. A nap, my . He was sleeping as deep as can be! “Is that so? Why am I invited?”

“I'll take you with me so that you can see what my life looks like, of course! Don't you dare worrying about anything tonight, got it?”

The tall boy chuckled and his hair – that had been perfectly styled when I left for school in the morning – was now covering his eyes, a real bed head. “Got it. Do I have to look fancy? If that's the case we have a problem.”

Ha! Who did he think I am? Some kind of unprepared girl without any strategies? Wrong! “We don't, because that shirt we bought yesterday will be good enough. Fancy, but in a casual way, if you know what I mean.” I smiled before walking upstairs, leaving Zelo alone in the living room. “I'll wake you up at 6pm in case you fall asleep again. Jongmin will come and get us at 6.30, alright?”

 

 


 

I am not satisfied with this chapter. I don't like the way it turned out to be, but I feel like this needs to go on now so that I can write what I have already planned ^^"

Sorry for the lame chapter, but I hope you continue reading anyway D:

Just to give you a feeling for the time again: Zelo is now there for about...9 days I think, but I'm not that sure of it myself xD

 

And did you see the new Teasers for "Best. Absolute. Perfect"?? OH MY GOD, my Himchan-Baby ;^; I mean, look at how gorgeous he looks!!! D:

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Thank you!
KirinJidai
When did I write that in five chapters we'd get to the main point? It's still not the best part yet xD

Comments

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Flowerjinri_ #1
Chapter 58: I really thank u for the story i enjoyed it a lot . i tbvh don't like people like soora's personality ; who put their nose where they shouldn't sometimes, even though they meant good . Anyway i like the story & zelo's character his personality & attitudes , how he slowly started to learn how to trust people around him , i liked his relationship with yongguk it gave me a warm feelings . but i think somethings were left unsettled , like what would it be like if yongguk and jongup showed up in the last two chapters ? I'm kinda depressed that we didn't get to know how junhong gonna live after being freed , and what about his plan on finding his brother ? Is he jin ? That was my most concern right after things settled up with the untouchable, it would be more fair to know all these things because i think that was the point of this story after his relationship with soora isn't ? I felt so bad for daehyun his heart got broken in a harsh way but as zelo said scars will heal .. AND YOUNGJAE my second favorite character, i really got a feeling of him being a spy and i was sure about it , i really liked that ..
I'm sorry for my long comment , i just wanted to talk about my thoughts as a reader .. Thank u again for the story ^^
myungeunkim #2
Chapter 23: woahh... the best story i had read.... i really love this storyyyyy...
Lilajessica #3
Chapter 58: This story is really awesome! One of my fav ones from now on! You described everything so well and the characters were so real :D amazing!
Number2elf #4
Chapter 58: I think this is one of my favoritest fanfics ever. The writing is really amazing and you dwelve deep into the characters. Everything is just so good :) I upvoted a long time ago
jmayo81 #5
Chapter 58: Being able to see the makeup of a criminal is the hardest thing, you want to be mad & hate them, but the "human" side just feels so bad for them. Of course we all have choices & don't have to go that route, you still see/feel their pain. It was a nice way of ending the story, to see healing beginning with Dae, but her sweet relationship with Junhong. I really liked this chapter! thank you for updating w/ the Epilogue~
SprintingForward
#6
Chapter 58: I really shouldn't like Sleepy as much as I do right now...
jmayo81 #7
Chapter 57: O_O, thank you so much for the mention! T_T This was a sweet ending to the story, it may not have been what you wanted, but I enjoyed the story & it's ending. I feel sorry for Daehyun, but I'd love to hear more about him... maybe sleepy ^_^ as there is a back story clearly, when Junhong struck a nerve! If you want too, and get the chance too, we'll be more than happy to read it! Thank you for the great story, sad to see it end! but look forward to more ^_^
Number2elf #8
Chapter 57: Ok I read it anyway. I couldn't wait lol. Will you write something about kookie and what happens to him after? Thanks for the great story :)
Number2elf #9
Chapter 57: Ahh the story says completed. I dont think i can read it :'/
SprintingForward
#10
Chapter 57: Agh!!! Ugh loved it!

I can't believe this is over. It was such a beautiful story to be honest and I wasn't expecting it to end so soon. When I saw the green 'Complete' icon, I was genuinely confused. Probably because these characters were so real to me that I didn't really see this as a story, I didn't think it could end. Ah, but all good things must come to an end.
Keep writing Kirin! It's your calling! I know it. :)