Zelo's POV

I was so sick of it. Sick of everything. My situation. My thoughts. My acquaintances.

My life.

But don't worry, it's not gonna end here – too bad. I wanted to bring as much space as possible between me and the girl I had just left behind before my legs collapsed. I made it three streets over before crouching down in the corner of a side alley, breathing heavily. I did it, I left.

Now, I know what you're thinking right now: What could have happened that he is like...this all of a sudden? It might sound funny, but it actually wasn't that much. At least it wouldn't have been for any other person but me.

The evening before

After having returned to my room, I chatted with Yongguk-hyung for a while, but then, when I was lying in bed and all lights were switched off, I could toss and turn to my heart's content, but I wouldn't fall asleep. “What's wrong with me?”, I groaned as I checked my phone's clock for the fourth time in ten minutes. “I'm feeling strange lately.”

I looked at the ceiling, my hands resting on my belly as I was lying on my back. This was neither comfortable nor did it help me to fall asleep. After another ten minutes, I let out a sound of frustration and got up to go and see the person that kept me awake. It was a short way of twenty seconds until I stood in the door frame of Soora's room.

Of course, she was sleeping soundly. She could always sleep, it seemed. I walked up to her bed and sat down to examine her features. Her long and dark brown hair, her slim face, the thin lips. “Why does this happen to me?”, I whispered, resting my chin on the bed's edge and, without even noticing it, my eyelids became heavier and heavier until I couldn't keep them open any longer. I fell asleep next to her. Just like that. Because she was present?

And when I woke up again, she was gone. My first thought was: Maybe you dreamed all of this. My second one was: If she got up before you, she saw you. And that's when I let my head fall down on the bed again. How much of an idiot did I have to be to fall asleep next to her in her room without having her permission? She'd think I was crazy or something like that! I took some deep breaths until I finally found the strength to stand up and go downstairs where she was already staring at me with a questioning gaze. I tried to avoid a conversation until she suddenly pressed her hand against my forehead.

“What a-are you doing?”, I managed to stutter.

“It doesn't feel like you're having a fever. Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting strangely for the past days, you know?”

Of course I knew that, but how would I explain something I didn't even understand? “Did I? I-I mean, I...couldn't sleep yesterday. That's...that's why...uhm...” Well done, Zelo, now she thinks you're a true idiot. If she didn't do that already. A poor idiot with a dark past, that is. At least she didn't keep asking me weird stuff – except for that one question about the Untouchables, but I couldn't blame her for being careful after all. I made sure that she had left and Hye-sun was busy when I walked out of the house to go and visit Yongguk for a while.

“Can I come by?”

I just walked around without a clear goal until he replied. “I'm currently delivering, I'm not at home... Something important?”

I bit my lower lip. I wanted to ask him about Soora. What he thought of her. I was still embarrassed because of that thing in the morning, but I didn't know if I was overreacting. I needed someone to confirm what I thought... Not that I thought of anything in particular. “Never mind, I was bored.” I needed someone else to talk to and opened another contact of mine.

“Are you awake already?”

Another two or three minutes were necessary for him to reply. “I am... Now. What's up? You can only come by if you have a good reason. Don't pity me, I'm healthy.”

Pity. As if I'd pity him, I thought with a snort. I was about to text him back when I hesitated again – for what seemed like the hundredth time. I still didn't want to tell him everything. But he doesn't even know half of it, why not, was my counterargument every time. “I've got a reason. Yours to decide whether it's good or not. Twenty minutes.”

At first, the silence was awkward. I was sitting at Jongup's table, just like the day before, but he sat in front of me instead of in his bed this time, staring at me with attentive eyes. I swallowed, taking a sip of the glass of water I held in my sweaty hand. It was even trembling, why was I nervous? “Well?”, Jongup uttered as he leaned back to rest his head against the wall.

“Yeah...”, I mumbled with a dry throat and swallowed once more. “It's about...Soora.”

My opponent frowned and glared at me. “What's with her? Judging by the way you look, something happened to her. What did you do to her?”

“No, she's alright, I...” I sighed, swallowing once more as his eyes pierced mine. “I feel like she did something to me, you know?” That didn't help Jongup at all and his frown deepened.

“Could you be more precise about that?”

I adjusted my fringe nervously. “Do you sometimes, I mean... Do her actions sometimes make you feel like, you know, an idiot? Or do you do something completely stupid or insane because of her? I'm behaving differently lately and I think it's all her fault.”

My counterpart snorted, looking out of the window. “If you want to complain about my best friend, do that elsewhere, And you've been stupid this whole time, just so you know”, he stated.

“That's not it!”, I exclaimed and he glanced at me once more. “I'm a hundred percent serious: I'm kind of switching off my brain as soon as she's affected. I mean, you think I would have come to search for you on my own, when you were unconscious? Hell no, why would I?”

“And you think I'm now your best friend because of that? Excuse me, why are you even telling me this?”, Jongup retorted in disbelief. “I thought you were here because I should help you, why are you mad at me now? That's what I stood up for?” I shrunk on my seat.

“You're not my best friend. But I thought you would answer me properly”, I mumbled with a pout to defend myself, but Jongup just rolled with his eyes and silence surrounded us once more.

“You say you feel like an idiot when being around her?” I nodded, taking another sip of my water. “I think I know that feeling, too.”

I raised my head. “Really? So it really is her fault, right? What is she? Some kind of fabulous creature? I'd accept any explanation at this point.”

Jongup stopped just to laugh out loud a split second later. I should have asked Yongguk instead. Or should have kept quiet. Too late, Zelo. “No”, he managed to say, barely able to stop laughing. “No, she's not. She may be fabulous, but not in the way you think. God, why so childish when the answer is so simple.” He cleared his throat and crossed his arms in front of his chest in order to maintain a serious face. “You like Soora.”

I almost choked on my water and put the glass away with a cough. I didn't want to hear that, to be honest. “I'd rather go with her as something mythical.”

“Well, too bad, because I know the symptoms of severe attraction to her and that's exactly it”, he retorted coldly.

I like Soora? The thought sounded absurd at first, but the more I reflected on it, the more obvious it got. Come on, you knew it already, don't be a fool. Why else would you have told her everything? And she really knew everything. Everything but my feelings for her. My throat was dry when I spoke up again. “Why?”

Jongup stretched his back, stood up and got himself some orange juice. “Why not?” He talked about it so casually, how come he didn't freak out like me?! The purple-haired head turned towards me again with a shrug. “Actually, I didn't think you'd be able to like anyone when I met you a few weeks ago. Looks like I was wrong.” I was about to say something when he sat back down, but the way he slammed his glass on the table made me hesitate and he stared at me attentively. “I don't know if I can give her to you though.”

“Who are you, her father?”, I retorted nervously before thinking about what he had said. The thought of her being mine, giving her to me, filled me with a strange feeling of satisfaction. That's when I admitted to myself that I really wanted her, no matter what consequences awaited me. My heart was beating furiously by now.

“Her big brother, if you need a reason. You're a rowdy that got to know her because of a coincidence and was allowed to spend time with her. Why would I let you get closer to her?” His voice had a serious tone to it and I swallowed. “Her father will be even harder to convince, in case you make it that far.” Maybe I should just give up, I thought. Walk away, because this isn't going to end in a positive way for any of us.

But my mouth was faster than my brain. “I'm not a rowdy and it's been kind of the same with you, what should keep me from trying?”

Jongup examined my face for a moment before he grinned at me. “Fine. Try. I'll leave it to her. Don't get your hopes up though.”

My tensed up body started to relax and I rubbed my eyes in sudden fatigue. “I won't.” I stood up, about to leave when I turned around once more and held out my hand. “Thanks, Jongup.”

He looked at it in surprise before his eyes returned to mine and he took it. “No probs, Zelo, but I'm still on her side, I won't help you with anything.”

“It's not like I was expecting you to do so in the first place.” He chuckled once more as he let go and I walked past his door, down the street and straight back to Soora's house to wait for her.

She sure took her time to come home.

I sat there for several hours. She didn't even have lunch at her house that day, which was rather strange. I grew impatient and wanted to write her a message, but... well, I didn't know what to write. “Come back here, I've got to tell you that I like you, though I don't know why I'd fall for something like you” didn't sound very romantic. I decided to wait – more or less patiently – for her to return and then slowly get closer to her. I didn't know how, because, god, when was the last time I wanted someone to like me?

That's why, while waiting, I chose to watch some movies on TV and to read some of her so-called “cheesy stuff”: Romeo and Juliet. The strange writing style aside, I found it quite interesting to the extent where I just kept reading and reading until I arrived at the so-called balcony-scene. “Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?”, I mumbled. “Well, it's not like he chose to be born as a member of her family's rival-family...” My telephone gave off a short 'pling', signalizing me that there was a new message.

From: Yongguk

“What are you doing? Still want to come over?”

It was already late in the afternoon and I decided that it wouldn't help me if I met him now. Jongup had opened my eyes already. Well, he had tried. Not like I would change on the spot. I guess.

“Nah, 45 minutes until dinner-time, I'll come over another day :)”

“Alright, good night then.”

I swallowed, stood up from the sofa and walked up to the kitchen's window for the hundredth time to check if Soora was in sight. Every time I did so, my heartbeat would increase until I thought I'd explode. This time, she was there. And my heart stopped.

She was not alone.

I froze when I saw her standing there, next to a red motorcycle on which rainbow-man was sitting. Of course, I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I jerked a bit when he suddenly pulled her closer and whispered something into her ear. I was nervous, I felt cold, I got goosebumps, all at the same time. It's just a hug, don't lose your head, Zelo-

That's when rainbow-man made eye-contact with me for a split second. I don't know, maybe he didn't even see me and it was some paranoid glance towards the house, but I saw it. And then, he kissed her. I stared at the scene with wide eyes, clenching my fists in order to suppress the anger that was bubbling inside my stomach. The fact that my damaged hand began to hurt didn't bother me that much as I watched him slowly retreating from Soora. The Soora I seemed to like.

Then it hit me. The sudden wave of denial. I was able to move again, sprinted into the living room at full speed, threw away the book I had still held in my healthy hand and started stuffing the few belongings I had brought over into my backpack. Many of the clothes had been bought by Soora, but I would deal with those later.

There you have it. What did you expect? I wasn't meant to be there, in her house. “I'll leave it to her. Don't get your hopes up though”, that's what Jongup had told me, but I wasn't ready for this. God, was I even ready to like- no, to love someone again? “This isn't where I'm supposed to be”, I told myself over and over again when I heard the sound of a key turning in the lock. After a short anxious glance towards the door, I ran into my room, slamming the door shut just when Soora was about to come in.

I couldn't face her now, this was too much. Developing feelings, admitting to yourself what kind of feelings they are, then watching them as the are crushed by the other party – it was too much for one day. I took a few deep breaths. Calm down, Zelo. Calm down, drink some water before leaving and just run.

I opened my door again, careful not to lower my gaze to meet her eyes, and walked up to the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. “You'll never believe what happened today!”, Soora shouted full of excitement and I could feel my whole body tense up at her words, her voice.

I slammed the glass on the countertop, finally managing to clear my thoughts. “No, I don't think I can believe it”, I said in complete bitterness and glared at her when she was about to speak up again. I had to get out of there before I gave in to her scared eyes that were as round as the moon. After collecting my backpack, I put on my shoes. She started talking again, this time with less agitation. She sounded guilty and said something about the mall, but I didn't listen, because I was gathering all of my strength to say the next few words.

“I'm leaving.”

There. I had said it. She was obviously taken aback, starting to ask questions about when I'd come back and stuff. “Wherefore art thou Soora?”, I mumbled, more to myself and she asked me to repeat myself, but I wouldn't. “I don't intend to come back. I stayed here long enough. I'll go back to Yongguk.” She tried to grab my sleeve, but her touch burnt me and I pushed her hand away. The anger was completely taking over my mind now. “It's not like I wanted to stay here in the first place. This is where it ends.”

I didn't think this through. It was the heat of the moment, but I just had to get rid of everything at that time. Alone, that was what I wanted to be and I wouldn't let her stand in my way. Even if she was the reason for my behavior.

“Look, Junho-”

“Stop.” If she said my name, I would break. People who said it out loud broke the wall I surrounded myself with – and this was not the moment to let her get through to me. “Don't say that name. Farewell”, was all I managed to utter before my voice could crack and I was quick to open the front door and leave the house. Put as much of a distance between myself and the cursed house as possible.

If only I could turn back the time to make it better.

Wherefore art thou Soora?

Still confusing? I hope not! I did my best....but this was sudden, right?

Sorry! °^°"

Well then, let's see how Soora deals with this next, I guess? ^^