Zelo's POV

I couldn't wait for him to reply. It was seven in the morning and I was sitting on our sofa, completely dressed and scrolling through my facebook feed, though there hadn't been any news for thirty minutes straight. I stopped scrolling to look at my phone. No reply.

“When does that sloth get up?!”, shouted I and Yongguk who was about to leave for work rolled with his eyes as I played with Soora's USB I had put back into my jacket's pocket.

“You've been awake since 5am, not everybody gets out of bed at that ungodly hour, you know? Well then, I'll get going. See you tonight.”

He was right, but I bit my lower lip in impatience. “Bye, Hyung”, I mumbled, refreshing the facebook page again. No news. I glanced at my phone. No reply. “Aish!”

It took him another hour.

“Why the were you awake at 5am?! Are you drunk again?”

I snorted. “I'm STILL awake and of course I'm not drunk! Just answer me.”

“If you say so...”

“You can come by at ten. Satisfied?”

I mouthed a silent yes and grinned, looking at the clock. 8.30am. My expression turned gloomy. I wouldn't have to leave until 9am. Half an hour, hell no. I'd die from boredom before I even got the chance to talk to him. I got up, took my backpack with me and left the apartment. I could as well walk a few stops. Still better than sitting at home with a bunch of problems on your shoulders to press you into the sofa.

9.40am.

I was standing in front of his multi-family house by now, shuffling my feet as I pressed the button with the name “Moon Jongup” on it. My breath created tiny clouds as I exhaled slowly. It had gotten cold in the past days, winter was coming. The door opened and I walked up the stairs to reach the fourth floor since there was no elevator. I squinnied as I looked at him opening the door with a raised eyebrow.

“You're too early”, he growled, scratching the back of his head.

“And you're hiding something.” Now, I didn't know if he had really hidden anything from me, but it was kind of a deception maneuver to see how he'd react. Guess he lied to both of us. He hadn't told me that Soora had been that worried about me, only that she had asked about me once or twice, maybe there was more to this.

“What do you mean?”, Jongup asked casually, but the way he avoided eye contact confirmed my guess. I kept digging.
“You know exactly what I mean, Jongup. Spit it out, what do you know that you haven't told me yet?”

“Why do I have to tell you everything in the first place?”

“Because I have the right to know about it.” I walked past him as he signalized me to come in and he closed the door with a sigh before raising his voice again.

“How'd you tell?”

I swallowed. I would do anything to reveal what he had been hiding. Maybe Soora had been worrying more than I thought. “It just sounded like you weren't honest sometimes”, I replied vaguely with a shrug. Maybe she wanted me back and it was all just a big misunderstanding. Maybe my feelings were returned? My heartbeat quickened.

Jongup sighed again and leaned against the main entrance in resignation. He had probably thought that I wasn't a good match for Soora and- “Fine, I know about Daehyun and Soora.” My eyes widened. No, wait- “She told me on the evening of the day I had picked you up from the bar: They are a couple.”

I stood there, unable to say anything. “Wh-what?”, whispered I as if I hadn't heard it. My mouth was dry and my breath quickened. I had known it all this time, but keeping your hopes up and then hearing it from someone else was so much worse. Much more painful. Reality hit me hard and the moment of speechlessness gave place to anger bubbling in my stomach.

“I know you heard me”, Jongup mumbled, eyes lowered to the ground. “I'm...I'm sorry Zelo, I didn't mean to-”

“Didn't mean to what?”, I snapped, clutching at my backpack's strap. “Didn't mean to hurt me? Keep my hopes up? Well too bad, you did.” The purple-haired man raised his head again at my tone of voice.

“Zelo-”

“But you know what is worse? Yesterday-” I pointed to my right as if Jongup could see the scene right there, in front of him. “Yesterday she behaved as-...as always.” My voice cracked and I took a rattling breath. “As if nothing was wrong!” I wanted to run out of here, run to her, ask her why.

Jongup noticed my movements and reached out with his hands to grab me by the shoulders. “Hey. Hey, Zelo, what are you doing?”

“I ha- I have to ask her. I have to-”

“Don't”, he said urgently, shaking me by the shoulders again. “She's been very happy since she got together with him. There's nothing wrong with her being happy, Zelo.”

I stopped putting up resistance only to look at him for a moment. He halted as he saw the mixed emotions and let out a sound of frustration. “She said she was worried... I-I'm sorry, Jongup-hyung”, I whispered and swallowed, not being able to trust my own voice. “To me, everything's wrong right now.”

With these words, I pushed him out of the way, opened the door and ran down the stairs. I had to talk to her. I had to. I wouldn't believe it until she told me herself. I shouldn't have waited for two whole weeks. But I wouldn't give up that easily. They say sometimes you need to fall down in order to wake up. And that's what I'd do now: Wake up.

Soora, why?

Thank god, the bus was arriving just in time for me to get on. Since I was completely rattled, I moved around all the time, tapping on the metal poles while impatiently waiting for the vehicle to reach my stop. Yes I was angry. I was hurt. I was sad. All at the same time and I didn't have any chance to let it out except for telling the person that caused all the trouble. Two more stops. One more stop. The next stop.

I basically jumped out of the bus, pacing down the street until I reached my goal. Another deep breath. “Don't shout at her”, I told myself just in time, stopping in front of the bell button, eyes closed shut and voice merely a whisper. “Don't shout. Okay? Stay calm. And now tell her like a man, Junhong.” She had a boyfriend. She didn't need me and she couldn't give me what I needed. This was hopeless. But why did she have to insist so much on helping me, when I was so useless? Stop thinking and ask her yourself. I took a deep breath and pressed the button to hear the bell ring.

It took her some time to open the door. Was Hye-sun not there? “I hope so”, mumbled I as I could hear steps from within, coming closer quickly. When the door opened, I couldn't say anything at first. Everything just got stuck in my throat and I looked at her, gaped at her. There she was again, dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a pullover. The latter was too wide and the sleeves were too long and I noticed that it was one of the pieces she had picked out for me the other day. I had left it behind when I had run away, it seemed. So there she was. The girl I had wished to be with me forever. Birthday wishes are childish, I told myself as I kept staring, waiting for her to do something. Say something. Anything. I forgot about the actual reason for me being here for the moment, searching for an excuse.

As I examined her face, she didn't seem to know what to do either. It was different from yesterday. She would have run towards me or hugged me or something similar to those two things. But there was uncertainty in those eyes of hers. Why?
Soora, why?

Soora's POV

My breath hitched and, as much as I had hoped for it, now, I was a bit scared when my heartbeat started racing. There was Zelo standing in front of my door. And I didn't even have to bait him with another attempt to go to the police. He had come on his own. My list flashed in my mind, but I shoved it away in a hurry. There's no way I could like Zelo.

But what about Junhong? Will you shut up, brain?

Eventually, I managed to speak. “Why are you here?”, I breathed and he cleared his throat, biting his lower lip as if he was nervous.

“I-I...well...That...I f-forgot some of my things”, he stuttered and took a step forward. I flinched and hesitated for a split second. It was only a moment, but he had noticed it. A shadow of hurt wandered across his eyes, but vanished as fast as it had appeared. He then slipped past me, careful not to touch me, and walked straight to his room while I closed the front door. I had checked on it. He hadn't left anything behind two weeks ago. Nothing but some of the shirts I had bought.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest as I slowly followed him into his room, leaning against the door frame. “Liar.” He froze at this word and shot me a nervous glance. I shrugged. “The room's empty. We both know that. Why are you here?”

The clock on the wall kept ticking, but I couldn't hear it. I was too concentrated on controlling my own breaths. Zelo exhaled, a shaking in his voice as he spoke. “Is anybody else home?” I shook my head, dodging as he paced past me again and into the living room. And again, I followed him. He took a few more deep breaths. “I... I've got something to talk to you about”, he said then.

My phone beeped and I glanced at it only for a second to read the message Jongup had sent. “Is Zelo with you?” I looked at the stick-figure in front of me. Yes...why are you asking? But I didn't reply, because Jongup was not important now. What was important was Junhong, the reason why he was here and the question why my heart was beating this much. “Are you...okay...Junhong?”, I asked carefully and he let out a sound of pretended surprise.

“If I'm okay?” His unbelieving grin and the sound of his voice made me shiver and he then raised his voice as if he was angry, though his facial expression remained blank. “If I'm okay?!”

“Why are you getting mad-”

“No! No, I'm not okay!” It was as if he exploded right in front of my eyes. His voice echoed through the whole house and I was really glad that my father wasn't present for once. Junhong ran a hand through his hair in despair.

I didn't understand, what he was up to. “W-what is the r-reason?”, I dared to ask, ignoring my own heartbeat and he bit his lower lip before glaring at me.

“You!” Me? “You are my damn problem!” These words had a great impact on me. They were floating between us like an invisible wall. Thin, yet unbreakable. I my lips, waiting for him to explain his thoughts and he snorted before continuing. “Jongup told me about you and your little boyfriend.” He spat out the last word as if it was an insect that had to be crushed. “Congrats”, he growled, his voice dripping with irony. The way his behavior could change within seconds was impressing. “I'm sorry to have bothered you for over a month.”

My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces on the ground and my mouth dried up. Daehyun. Daehyun was the reason he had left? I felt bad. But since I didn't know why, I covered it up with anger. I was hurt and I was not prepared for something like this. I decided to let out all the frustration that had piled up inside of me for the past days instead of thinking about it and keeping it for myself. “You disappeared just like that, came back once to stop me from helping you and suddenly you're back to tell me that I'm a problem to you?” I took rattling breaths, averting my gaze for a split second before staring at him again. “You know what? I felt really bad when you left! I thought I had done something wrong! Back then, it looked like you were sick of me! You don't know anything about what happened, what is wrong with you?!”, I shouted with a cracking voice, remembering the moment Daehyun had walked into my room to cheer me up after Zelo had left. I had never really raised my voice that much before. Look at what you've become, Soora.

Zelo frowned, staring me down with his intense eyes. “You want to know what is wrong with me? Fine, there you go:” He was calm, but there was a fire burning in his eyes. My heart beat faster and faster, wanting to escape from my chest. Maybe it knew the answer already. Before I could say something else, my opponent calmed down and started to talk again.

“Look, I can't...” He took a deep breath before continuing his sentence, hissing in despair and running his hand through his hair again. “I can't go to the amusement park with you whenever I want to.” What is he saying? What's with this? “I can't give that to you. And...I can't give you a ride on a motorcycle. I don't have one. I don't have the money to take you out for dinner or anything else that might make you happy. All I can show you is who I really am. My...my personality is all I can give you and....and I did.” Zelo banged his fist on the wall, making me flinch. “I did, goddammit!”

He began to raise his voice, shaking uncontrollably while taking rattling breaths. It had been the damaged fist he had used to punch the wall and now, his healthy hand moved to rub across his eyes. Was he crying? Surely because of the pain in his hand. “I never told anyone, because they wouldn't understand me. My pain. My problems. I thought that you were different when I showed you.” A few tears were running down his cheeks like a salty little stream now. “I thought you were different, Soora...I thought I could finally learn what it means to be loved by someone, you know?”

My name. He had said it again. I wanted to believe that I did understand him. But he was right: I couldn't. I was loved. I had money. I had never fought the Untouchables. I was so different from him, how did we end up like this, together?

And suddenly, I wished I was able to feel his pain. I wanted to take it away from him, because seeing him cry was one of the worst things I could have imagined. It broke my heart over and over again. I know I shouldn't have thought that way, considering Daehyun who was caring about me ever since we had met for the first time. Who was with me when I needed him. But Zelo, no, Junhong was that one person who made me want to throw it all away. Not Daehyun. How could I be so cruel?

Junhong sniffed once, rubbing his tears away again and trying to replace his pain with bitterness. “But I was wrong. I feel like I'm suffocating, hearing about you with Daehyun. You're just another stupid girl!”

He was behaving childish in my opinion, but it was a game for two, since I wasn't any better and got angry. At least I tried to cover my pain with that. “It's a bad world for you, I got it! And maybe I am a stupid girl! Then why do you keep returning when you know you can't breathe when I'm happy?! And for your information: Yes, I am really happy with Daehyun!” I didn't lie, yet it was only half of the truth. I didn't like how my heart reacted to Junhong considering that I had a boyfriend. “What do you expect me to do?”

“What I expect you to do?” His voice was even angrier than before, his face running red. “I want you to be happy. But I wanted to be the one who makes you smile. I wanted to be the one standing beside you. I wanted to protect you the way you tried to protect me for the past month. All along, I wanted to be the one! You want me to say it? I fell in love with you, Soora!”

He had said it. He had said it out loud. A wave of happiness overwhelmed me, but I desperately tried to push it back as Daehyun's girlfriend. “You're selfish. So selfish.” A tear rolled down my cheek and more were to follow a split second later. It was such a weak argument, I didn't know what to say anymore.

“I have been acting selfishly my whole life, why should it be different now?! But this time, I tried to deal with it. Tried to stay away from you. God, I didn't plan to fall for you in the first place! All you were to me was a rich, spoiled brat that thought if her shoes were dirty, her world would collapse! But now-...But now-” Junhong started sobbing out loud. “But now I can try as hard as I want. I can't think that anymore.”

I mustn't let my guard down. “Well, I think you should leave now”, I hissed, breathing heavily and averting my gaze. I have to get away now or he'll win. “Look, Daehyun will worry about me if I don't call him-”

“Shut up! Don't talk about that snob in front of me! Why can't you see me?!”, Junhong yelled before going back to whispering. “Why not me, Soora?” In his moment of frustration, he darted forward to grab me by the neck with one hand and bent down until I could feel something warm pressing against my lips.

I didn't realize it at first, but we kissed.

There were too many emotions to transfer to each other during the few seconds we were finally quiet for. Anger, hate, despair, panic, fear, relief. Way too many. Why can't you see me? Junhong was breathing heavily in anger while my tears kept flowing and at first, I wanted to run, but then, I could feel myself give in. It's not right to let him do this. Stop him, defend yourself! I clenched my fist, about to raise it, just to lower it back down again. I couldn't. I couldn't hurt the shattered person in front of me. I couldn't hurt the person that had messed up my feelings. I was disappointed in myself for being so weak.

He pulled me closer, his free hand slipping into mine and I forgot how to breathe for a second. His lips were soft and rough at the same time. Asking for permission, yet demanding and searching for answers. Seconds passed. Seconds that seemed like eternity – in a positive way – and all the anger that had piled up inside of us vanished into air. Disappearing just like that.

It's true: this wasn't right.

But it felt too good to be wrong.

We then both pulled away and I tried to meet Zelo's gaze, but he had lowered it to the ground, his eyes half-closed. What had just happened? I dried my tears with the sleeve of my shirt. My heart was racing, about to explode. My mind tried to grasp it, about to go nuts. My hands were shaking, trying to push him away. I was scared of myself. Scared and disgusted “Junhong...why...”, I whispered bewilderedly, making him shiver. “Why do you have to be chocolate?” His forehead wrinkled and he breathed in to ask me what that meant, when suddenly, I could hear the sound of the door opening.

“Soora? Hye-sun?”, someone shouted from the corridor and I finally found the power to shove Zelo away from me, whose eyes widened at the unfamiliar, but deep, voice.

He stared at me and his lips, not daring to turn around to face the visitor. Looks like he just realized that he's always causing trouble.

Well, .

I cleared my throat and glanced at Junhong before pushing him aside to answer the new arrival. “Himchan-oppa?!”

HE DID IT! HE DID IT GODDAMMIT! I can't believe it myself. It might all be a bit confusing, but that's exactly what I wanted it to be like.

And Himchan's back......Yay or nay? xD