A Mistake [ EDITING ]

Please Subscribe to read further chapters

Description

" roommate " a program about a group of men and a group of girls idols were or actors. Originally it was kai a member of exo who will be in the program but they changed him and choose chanyeol maybe because chanyeol is friendlier  and a smiling angel. But what they didn't see coming is when an exo's member " kris " will leave the band. The staf thought it was a rumor but unfortunately it wasn't ! They must take a fast dission because the filming MUST be tomorrow so what should they do ?!! 

Finally they found a better  replacement for chanyeol. Well of course they are better because they are what we call them as " THE KINGS ". Of course they are because they are none other than the famous group TVXQ shim changmin and Jong yunho. But what they didn't expect is that they weren't alone ! Another group were with them. Let's say that it's the only group that they didn't want to deal , speak , or even meet them not after all of these years. yes you got it right. They are the completion of " THE KINGS ". They are " jyj ". What will happen when those two groups meet again ? What will be the reactions of the members when they see each other ? Which expression or look will appear in there eyes ? Is it confussion , weakness,  sadness , betrayal ,  or MISSING 

Foreword

Yunho came back from an interview. He got out of the car and entered into the building that they will be living in or filming the new TV programme " Roommate ". He doesn't know what is for ? Or With who ?. He lost interest in almost everything. The yunho who used to enjoy his job and living his dream is dead now!. How the hell could he enjoy after everything that happened. For him NOW  it's a business. He prayed regularly that all of this was a dream ! That one day he will wake up from the bed and see that all of THIS didn't happen and that it was a nightmare ! He hoped thst He will wake up and see that angel sleeping peacefully while hugging him as they used to. But unfortunately that morning never came.

Walking slowly toward the door of the apartment that they will share and film in it. He took a deep breath and entered the secret code that the director send it to him. He entered the apartment and took his shoes off. He walked in and bowed to the staf who were behind the cameras. He looked around the place checking it. And finally he spotted the other idols who will be with him. There are some females who were wispering obviously about him. He searched for his dongsaeng but he couldn't find him !. Finally he saw him chatting with two men that he couldn't see their faces ! He walked toward them and suddenly he stopped in his track ' no it can't be them right ? '  he encouraged himself to walk a few more steps to make sure that he was wrong but his eyes widened as he recognised who those two were ? And they seem to have the same reaction as him immediately they lowered their heads looking at the floor.

Suddenly the door opened and a new guest entered : " sorry for being late ". ' this can't be !!!. This voice . . . Belongs to . . . . '. Yunho turned around and as soon as their eyes met. The man on the door dropped whatever was he carrying.

AnVocNighMa
Chapter 5, Impossible isn't here. I accidentally deleted it so I am just editing all the other chapters. Chapter 6, The Beginning is posted.

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
jcnafaiz
#1
(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
verine #2
Chapter 35: Hi, thanks for sharing this fic. I always enjoy fic about tvxq reunion so thanks again.

I won't comment about the plot and the portrayal of the characters. I keep open mind about how the author want it to be. There are various typos but it's still okay.

My main concern about this fic is the punctuation, which is a mess. I'm sorry if it sounded so harsh.

(example from the last chapter) :
Changmin hesitated. Can he ask this or not?. But he collected his courage and asked : " when will we meet them again? ". He looked at yunho's calm expression and waited for him to answer !
" leave it " yunho said.
Changmin was dumbfounded!!! Leave it ! !!!! For who !! He was confused by that very simple reply. So he asked again:
" for . . . . ?! "

Perhaps most of this fic loyal readers don't care about it or they just do fast read and get the main point. But for me and perhaps other readers out there who read in detail, it's so messy and distracting. Punctuation is a very basic stuff and there is a default rule about it. Unlike grammar, there is no excuse for such author to not put it properly.

I'm not a pulitzer winner author but I can give some suggestion about how it could be written (mostly related to the punctuation) :
Changmin hesitated. Can he ask this or not?
He collected his courage and asked, "when will we meet them again?"
He looked at Yunho's calm expression and waited for him to answer.
" Leave it", Yunho said.
Changmin was dumbfounded. Leave it? For who?
He was confused by that very simple reply. So he asked again, "for...?"

It's not perfect but better. Don't overuse !!!!!! or ????? Also put the correct punctuation mark. If they just talked normally, don't put !!!! as if they're screaming at each other. I hope in your next story you will put more attention. Doing that plus improve the way you write the dialogues, I'm sure people will come to read and votes without you asking for it :)
Fireglobe
#3
Chapter 1: Hi. New subscriber here. :) After reading the description, I really want to read this fanfic but this fanfic in a progress of editing? I've subscribed, so can you notify in the story feed if the whole editing has complete? Thank you ^^

Sorry for asking a sudden favor. :)
natalie_ed
#4
Chapter 1: aishaa ... i miss u dongsaeng ^^
hy2min #5
Your story is just beautiful, I love your story !!
dee_9576 #6
Chapter 17: Hi, I am a new subscriber. I really love your story! I just found out about your story, was supposed to study for my exam but ended up reading 15 chapters in a go! :P
But it was worth the time, and I feel so much relaxed after reading it! I really love it! Hwaiting! ;)
bluelegacy
#7
Chapter 33: This is so heartwarming... I hope they get back together or at least they are in contact..
I am in tears right now... I have never loved a group like this <3
melinoes #8
Chapter 35: hi Author-nim! i'm back after a long absence :3 you will update soon, right? i really wait for your update, so please come back as soon as possible, kay?? Btw, i like your poster!! <3 hehehe
CoLatte
#9
Chapter 1: Hi. I'm a new subscriber. How do I know if you're done editing that chapter? You know, I don't want to miss a chapter.
T-araFans #10
Chapter 35: Nice poster ^^