Yoochun finally opened his mouth : " do you remember the stupid mistake that I told you jaejoong did ? ". Yunho nodded. Yoochun paused for a minute before continuing : " he . . . He tried to kill himself ". Yoochun said fast. Still avoiding his hyung's eyes. 

Changmin gasped and Yunho froze. 

' what . . . ? I heard it wrong right ? ' yunho thought. 

Flash backs of jaejoong crying, singing,  cooking,  sJaejoong smiling widely to him while saying ' welcome home ' when they were filming the roommate programme repeated in his mind. In All of those flash backs jaejoong was wearing a wide accessory around his wrist. Even today when he was in his house. 

And that was when it hit yunho : 

' jaejoong . . . Tried to kill himself ! '

* * * * * 

Yunho was shocked. Very shocked !. What the hell was jaejoong thinking. What did happen that lead him to do this stupid thing? He expected anything but never imagined that it will reach to the point that jaejoong will think of killing himself. Not only think !! he  did it !!! Does that mean that maybe he will do it again ? 

That idea made yunho terrified !. He can't lose jaejoong. Not again. And never. 

" what should we do ? " changmin asked still panicked. Junsu looked at him and smiled warmly. He held Changmin's hand tightly. Their maknae is so sensitive. Even if it wasn't obvious. But he is the most sensitive of them. Especially when it comes to his umma. 

" calm down " yunho said in his leader tone. The tone that yunho used to use it with them. Or use it a as a mask to cover up his nervousness,  sadness,  and weakness. They all looked at him waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. And continued : " where may jaejoong go ? We need to find him ! " he turned to yoochun and junsu : " where is your apartment? Hurry up let's go ". 

Yoochun nodded. Junsu and changmin went to stop a taxi. While yunho was still trying to call jaejoong but still failed. 

" appa . . . Let's go " changmin screamed. 

Yunho and yoochun ran to the taxi. The driver was shocked. His eyes widened when he saw the tohoshiniki that his daughter is crazy about them in his car. 

" please take us quickly to this address ". Yoochun said. The driver nodded and drove to JYJ'S apartment. 

The ride was quite. No one dared to talk. They were thinking of their umma and praying that he will be wise enough not to end his life. But yunho was curious. He was mad. But he needs to ask. To know what he wanted to know. Cause he knows that its a sensitive topic to Jaejoong. 

" when ? " here Comes yunho's husky yet shaken voice.

Junsu tightened his hold on Changmin's hand. 

Yoochun looked at yunho. He knows that yunho was shocked. And disappointed. Not in jaejoong but in himself too. He saw how yunho's eyes were sparkling when he came to them in the restaurant. And when he told them that part of the story yoochun was sure that yunho did something. Maybe hitting or letting his anger out on the CEO? This was an expected thing from yunho. He never feared anything. And yoochun would swear that he guessed right when yunho asked about jaejoong. 

A huge burden was left from yoochun's shoulders when he heard the story yunho told them. As if someone has put him in a peace. Cause for all of this years he thought that he and junsu has pushed jaejoong to leave with them. They knew that jaejoong will never leave yunho's side. But the two were shocked when they opened the subject and talked to jaejoong about how they were not satisfied with the contract. 

" let's leave SM "

They never ever thought that those words will come out of jaejoong's mouth. And when jaejoong told them not tell yunho or changmin they couldn't say anything. No mater how many times they tried to convince him to tell the other two he refused. So they just gave up. 

For all of this years they were blaming their selves. They were a part of the mistake too. But this all was blamed mostly on jaejoong. And they were sorry. Very sorry for dragging him along with them. 

Now he can understand why jaejoong did what he did. And he don't blame him Cause if he was in jaejoong's shoes and that happened with junsu. He will not hesitate to leave his lover side just like how jaejoong did. 

' It's better to be safe than sorry ' right ?

" when ? " here comes yunho's question again. 

Yoochun took a deep breath and finally answered : " after a year of the separation ". Yoochun paused when he noticed yunho tensing. Yunho's palms formed a fist. Yoochun knew that yunho wanted more details. That's why he continued : " when TVXQ was back as a duo with their new song ' keep your head down ' ". 

The car stopped and yunho was the first one to get out running to the  apartment. 

* * * * *

Yunho knocked the door hardly. But there wasn't any response. He noticed that the lights were off which means that jaejoong must be in there. 

" wait " yoochun ran to him. He took out his copy of the key. And opened the door. 

They all ran into the dark apartment . 

" umma . . !! " changmin and junsu screamed.  

" I am going to search in the rooms " yunho said running into the rooms and bathrooms looking for his other half. 

Yoochun had a feeling.  He looked toward the kitchen. And his legs dragged him to the kitchen. His eyes widened when he saw a figure of a man that he recognise holding a knife in his hands : 

" JAEJOONG HYUNG ! ! " yoochun screamed. 

Junsu and changmin ran to him. Both of them gasped seeing jaejoong like that. 

Jaejoong froze when he heard their voices. He rose his head up meeting yoochun panicked eyes. and lowered his head immediately. He smiled weakly and whispered something. But yoochun and the two were able to catch it. 

" he knows yoochun ah " jaejoong whispered. He was trembling and they all noticed that. 

" hyung " yoochun said calmly. And took a step closer to the other. " please don't ". Yoochun said desperately. He can't let jaejoong do this. To see him in that hopeless state again. He won't let jaejoong go through this state again. Never.

" he knows everything !! " jaejoong said this time loud enough for them to hear. He half screamed. And yoochun stopped in his place afraid to make it worse. 

' ash yunho hyung plea