A mistake ?

A Mistake [ EDITING ]
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The morning came fast and here is changmin and yunho sitting on the table eating their breakfast. 

" appa  remind me why are we eating toast for breakfast? " 

Yunho rose his head looking at the other : " I don't want you to eat rameon for breakfast!! I don't want you to order something too! Bear with it " 

Changmin stared at yunho : " I am a growing kid you know. I need to eat properly " 

" says a kid in his twenties!!" 

" shut up " and yunho laughed. " by the way appa, where is your coffee?  "

Yunho : " some ninja stole it yesterday "

" oh right I forgot " changmin laughed.

" harry up. I need to drop you two at that apartment I have another job " the manager said.

" Don't you know how to knock? " yunho glared at his manager.

The manager looked at yunho : " don't you know that it's bad to teach others about manners while you don't do it ". He smirked when he saw yunho's respond. " if you decided to visit me on my house shouldn't you at least tell me ? ". Changmin was confused. " you should knock The door if you want to see my daughter. Not to meet her in the garden and give her presents. At least say hey to her parents ". Yunho's face palmed he took his toast and ran to the car " I will wait in the car. Changmin harry up ". And he ran to the car.

 " you know he loves kids ". 

" yeah but I love to see his palm face too ". Changmin laughed and followed yunho. The manager was a few steps behind him .

* * * *

In the car : 

Yunho was silent. Changmin was playing games on his phone. and The manager was driving. 

" thanks for the presents " the manager said. 

" no need " yunho answered. 

" yunho you have another photo shot today from 9 to 11. I will drop changmin first " the manager said. 

Yunho sighed.

" appa are you tired ? " changmin asked.

" no I am fine " yunho answered. 

" sure ? " the manager asked and yunho nodded.

Finally they reached the apartment. Changmin took his bag.

" I will take yours too ". Changmin said and Yunho nodded. 

Junsu and yoochun came to welcome the two. They hugged changmin and smiled to yunho. They bowed to the manager and he smiled to them.

" should we help you ? " yoochun asked when he saw how changmin was troubled with the two bags.

" he seems fine let's go back inside " junsu said. they turned and walked toward the apartment. 

" yaaaaaah " changmin screamed. 

" did you hear anything?  " yoochun asked junsu. And junsu shrugged. 

" UMMA ! " changmin screamed. Jaejoong came out of the apartment. " yoosu , come here or I will punish the both of you " but they didn't care they ran away. Jaejoong sighed " I will help you with the bags ". He came closer to changmin and took a bag.  

" where is yunho? " jaejoong asked. 

" in the car " changmin answered and walked inside. Jaejoong looked through the window and when he spotted yunho in the front seat he smiled widely and waved to him. Yunho didn't even glance at him. He didn't care about this. Jaejoong smile faded. Changmin came and took the other bag from jaejoong. 

" what time is it umma ? " changmin asked. Jaejoong looked at his watch and panicked " oh my god I am late ". He hugged changmin as a goodbye and ran to his car. Suddenly he came back running toward their car and came to yunho's window. He putted his head on the glass and made weird faces. Yunho turned and looked at him weirdly. And jaejoong smiled widely and waved : " see you yunho ". Then he ran again while screaming : " ah I am late ".

Changmin gigled and went inside after waving to the manager and yunho. Yunho was silent. The manager tried hardly not to laugh but he couldn't. Finally, he laughed loudly. Yunho looked at him sharply : " can you drive? ". 

The manager nodded : " he hasn't change at all ". Yunho didn't reply him. But the manager didn't mess the smile that appeared on yunho's face even if it was for a few seconds.

Yunho went for his schedule and jaejoong did the same. 

While in the apartment : 

Changmin was sitting in yoosu's room. He wanted to ask the other two a question that he couldn't find an answer for it but maybe the other two will. They all sat in a circle on the bed. They played some games. But changmin had something to ask. They stayed silent for a while until junsu broke the silence : " is yunho alright?  " 

Changmin looked at the other two faces. He sighed : " I gave him the medicine yesterday. At least he didn't throw it ! " 

" good " yoochun said. 

" and I made him laugh yesterday, aren't I genius?!! " changmin said proudly. " I even became a ninja ". They looked at him with wide eyes as if they were asking ' is that boy crazy '. He gigled : " I am crazy that's normal isn't it ?! ". And they all laughed. When they calmed down changmin had the chance to ask : " I want the both of you to answer me honestly ".

The other two looked at each other and then back at changmin and nodded. So he continued : " what does umma mean . . . When he said that everything was a mistake?  " 

yoochun and junsu didn't say anything. They lowered their heads.  Yoochun reached for junsu's hand and squeeze it. Changmin saw that this was hard for them. He also took both of their han

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AnVocNighMa
Chapter 5, Impossible isn't here. I accidentally deleted it so I am just editing all the other chapters. Chapter 6, The Beginning is posted.

Comments

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jcnafaiz
#1
(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
verine #2
Chapter 35: Hi, thanks for sharing this fic. I always enjoy fic about tvxq reunion so thanks again.

I won't comment about the plot and the portrayal of the characters. I keep open mind about how the author want it to be. There are various typos but it's still okay.

My main concern about this fic is the punctuation, which is a mess. I'm sorry if it sounded so harsh.

(example from the last chapter) :
Changmin hesitated. Can he ask this or not?. But he collected his courage and asked : " when will we meet them again? ". He looked at yunho's calm expression and waited for him to answer !
" leave it " yunho said.
Changmin was dumbfounded!!! Leave it ! !!!! For who !! He was confused by that very simple reply. So he asked again:
" for . . . . ?! "

Perhaps most of this fic loyal readers don't care about it or they just do fast read and get the main point. But for me and perhaps other readers out there who read in detail, it's so messy and distracting. Punctuation is a very basic stuff and there is a default rule about it. Unlike grammar, there is no excuse for such author to not put it properly.

I'm not a pulitzer winner author but I can give some suggestion about how it could be written (mostly related to the punctuation) :
Changmin hesitated. Can he ask this or not?
He collected his courage and asked, "when will we meet them again?"
He looked at Yunho's calm expression and waited for him to answer.
" Leave it", Yunho said.
Changmin was dumbfounded. Leave it? For who?
He was confused by that very simple reply. So he asked again, "for...?"

It's not perfect but better. Don't overuse !!!!!! or ????? Also put the correct punctuation mark. If they just talked normally, don't put !!!! as if they're screaming at each other. I hope in your next story you will put more attention. Doing that plus improve the way you write the dialogues, I'm sure people will come to read and votes without you asking for it :)
Fireglobe
#3
Chapter 1: Hi. New subscriber here. :) After reading the description, I really want to read this fanfic but this fanfic in a progress of editing? I've subscribed, so can you notify in the story feed if the whole editing has complete? Thank you ^^

Sorry for asking a sudden favor. :)
natalie_ed
#4
Chapter 1: aishaa ... i miss u dongsaeng ^^
hy2min #5
Your story is just beautiful, I love your story !!
dee_9576 #6
Chapter 17: Hi, I am a new subscriber. I really love your story! I just found out about your story, was supposed to study for my exam but ended up reading 15 chapters in a go! :P
But it was worth the time, and I feel so much relaxed after reading it! I really love it! Hwaiting! ;)
bluelegacy
#7
Chapter 33: This is so heartwarming... I hope they get back together or at least they are in contact..
I am in tears right now... I have never loved a group like this <3
melinoes #8
Chapter 35: hi Author-nim! i'm back after a long absence :3 you will update soon, right? i really wait for your update, so please come back as soon as possible, kay?? Btw, i like your poster!! <3 hehehe
CoLatte
#9
Chapter 1: Hi. I'm a new subscriber. How do I know if you're done editing that chapter? You know, I don't want to miss a chapter.
T-araFans #10
Chapter 35: Nice poster ^^