Jaejoong entered the kitchen to make some popcorn for changmin. And yunho was there sitting on the table while drinking water. Jaejoong looked at him : " yunho sit on the chair please. Not on the table! How many times should I teach you ? ! ! " he was giving his back to yunho. He knew he still can't look at yunho on the eyes. Actually he can do that. But he can't bear the mixed feelings that yunho's eyes reflected. He knew that yunho is missing him. Yunho still loves him. But the question here is : " does yunho want him back ? Will he forgive him ? ". No matter which mixed feelings yunho had for him the decision is in yunho's hand. Will he welcome him back or will he leave him in his own hell. 

These eyes always managed to make a huge difference in jaejoong's day. It was always his source for everything : power, hope, freedom and even love. He has always thought that yunho's eyes were like a black hole. A black hole that swallows his sadness and anger. every time he looks into it, his disappointment and sadness will disappear. 

Yeah that was the effect that yunho's eyes had on him. Before. . . 

Now. . . Whenever he looked in it his guilt will grow bigger and bigger. 

Jaejoong continued his earlier sentence : " you haven't change at all yunho ". 'He meant yunho's habits.' He smiled to himself remembring the dumbfounded yunho that used to rely on him on everything that was related to their house.

He loved how yunho's character will change as soon as he steps inside of their dorm. Transforming from the ' leader U-know yunho ' to ' my cute yunnie '. This is something that jaejoong loves so much. Seeing that side of yunho and being the only one who can bring out that side made him proud. Is it wrong to keep that side for him ? Jaejoong doesn't think so. He knows that he is selfish by keeping that side of yunho for him but yunho has always loved ' the selfish Kim jaejoong '.

Yunho's voice bring jaejoong out of his special world. ' oh how much he loves that husky deep voice '. : " was it great to behave so unlike you ? " yunho asked.

Jaejoong eyes widened. At the question.  He turned around and looked at yunho's eyes. They had an eye contact for less than three seconds. But those three seconds were enough for jaejoong to see the coldness in yunho's eyes. And he shivered. He lowered his head and smiled bitterly : " that's me now ". 

Yunho looked at him : " is that true ? " when jaejoong rose his head and was about to nod. what came out from yunho's mouth next made him froze : " Then you are a person that I don't know ! ". And he left leaving jaejoong frozen on his spot.

* * * * *

Yunho walked out of the kitchen heading to his room. No their room. When he closed the door he slide down to the floor. He putted his head on his hands. And ruffled his hear. This was so hard on him.

All of this is hard on him. He will always try to kill the tiny hope that jaejoong had to make the other gives up on him. If only he can hate the person who destroyes his dream. If so ,  he can get furious at something. And then who knows . . . he  might dream again one day.

He stayed sitting on the floor. Hugging his knees. With his messed hair. He was confused. This place has caused him a lot of troubles. It brings back so many memories that he thought that he forgot but it seems that he didn't !. He hates it. He hates how the other idols and actors are looking at them pathetically. He hates how changmin, yoochun and junsu looked to him with hopeful eyes to forgive jaejoong. He hates how jaejoong looked at him. It wasn't a pathetic look!. It was A look that was filled with love and missing. A look that always successed on making him weak.

And he hates it. 

Finally he made up his mind. He took out his bag and opened his drawer. He took some clothes and closed it. He will go away. He will leave this apartment. He got out of the room and walked to the front door. He was relieved when he saw changmin busy fighting again with sunggyu. Yoochun and junsu laughing at him. He smiled silently and waved to them. 

When yunho's hand reached for the door knob a very warm voice stopped him :

" yunho . . . Where are you going ? " jaejoong asked. 

Yunho froze he didn't know what to do?. Should he turn or should he just leave ?. 

Jaejoong noticed the bag that yunho was holding. He also noticed yunho's grip tightened on it. He understands yunho very well. Even if the other tried hardly to cover everything and not to show any kindness. For jaejoong yunho was an opened book :).

That's why Jaejoong’s continued his sentence like this : " so you are going to leave . . Please be careful while driving. Don't use your phone! ". 

Yunho didn't reply. He opened the front door and was about to leave. But stopped again when jaejoong reached to his hand. Yunho froze again. What was jaejoong doing to him ?.

Jaej