CHAPTER 7: SAME FATE
Love
CHAPTER 7 SAME FATE
No night life for all the staff, dancers, managers and Bigbang members.
I scoff while looking for Manager Lee, we have a meeting while the Bigbang members are busy for their comeback plus I heard that Mr. Yang will watch the rehearsal for the first time. I'm planning to go in a bar after my work but it seems like that won't happen.
My phone beeps it's Marcus. He sends a picture of him in a bar holding a Vodka bottle while smiling from ear to ear. He's trying to turn my night into worst, when I receive the letter earlier I took a picture of it then sent to him. When I went to the meeting room everyone are there, the 5 managers and the 4 assistant managers. Well i'm one of them so it means i'm late.
"Let's start the meeting." Byung Yung oppa said. "Next month will be the comeback so we're going to be busy."
"But they have a fan meet before the comeback right?" Jung Geun oppa said.
"Where?" I ask it feels ike i'm the only one who is clueless.
"Manila." Oppa answered. "You didn't know?"
"Clueless." I said while pointing at myself.
"Manila will be the last stop of the fan meet." Byung Yung oppa said again. "Then we have a four day vacation."
"But Nikki insisted that we can spend the vacation there."
"Yup! Everything are settled, even the boys agreed on it."
I feel dumbfounded we will have a vacation in Manila, I became excited in a second I think I can go on my own for four days, they will not need me there since everyone can look after for the boys. I should call Sasha later and tell her that i'm going back, maybe we can go to their resort or to some other place to relax.
"And about the memo." Boram oppa said. "Its effective starting today." He said looking at me, for sure they know what happen this morning.
"Okay" I smile.
"Actually this is the first time we have a memo."
"And we have another event to attend." Boram oppa continues.
"That's right." The Harry Potter assistant manager said, all of them look at me.
"What?"
"Its your birthday next week."
"So?"
"Where are we going to celebrate your birthday?"
"I'm not celebrating my birthday." I smile.
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to."
"You don't like to treat us for lunch or dinner." One of them said.
"I will treat all of you but not on my birthday." I said. "Some other time."
"This is the first time you will celebrate your birthday with us."
"I know, I will treat all of you don't worry."
"They guy you're with earlier is that your boyfriend?"
"No!" I shake my head.
"Okay." Nam Gook oppa said but smiling like he's not convince about what I say.
"Are we done my oppa's?"
"Just tell us if he's your boyfriend so that we can grill him."
"Atleast if he marry you in the future, he will not have a hard time to convince us." What Nam Gook oppa said made me irritated.
"I'm not into marriage, so you don't have to worry about my future."
"We just wanted to protect you, you're the only girl here." Boram oppa smile.
"Protect me all you want but i'm not going to marry anyone."
If they only know my past they won't have the courage to say that. Celebrate my birthday? What to celebrate? My existence on this earth or my lost? I walk quietly behind them. I wonder why the hell I agree to work here. I can do whatever I want just to stop Nikki on dragging me to this company. I sigh, I have my own reason but i'm beginning to regret it.
"You want." A bag of chips appear in front of me. I turn my head it's Sung-min oppa. I grab the whole bag and munch the chips, both of us together with the Managers go to the dance studio.
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The most painful day arrive, I've tired to avoid it but its no use this day will arrive no matter what I do. My phone are flooded with birthday greetings, all of them came from my co-workers in YGE but none from my friends, they all know I hate this day, I hate birthday greetings even the gifts. My parents greeted me of course i'm their daughter and I can't do anything about it, i'm planning to just stay inside my apartment and drink but I know Nikki will surely go here, so where to go?
"Hello"
"Let's jog." It's Marcus.
"I'm not in the mood."
"Hurry up! I'm in your apartment building parking lot."
"Go home."
"You want me to drag you from your unit to the park?" He shouts.
"Fine." I shout back.
"5 minutes."
"Okay!" I hang up, maybe a jog is not a bad idea. I will run until i'm out of breath or until I lost my consciousness.
He left his car in the basement parking then we jog from my apartment building until we reach the park, we didn't talk we just jog around the for a couple of times. Both of us are occupied with our own thoughts, I wonder what's he's thinking, he's a bit off today, he seem different or should I say he's not the Marcus I use to know, for the past month we always hang out together, so I got to know him well.
"Tired?"
"No."
"Let's run four more times around the park." He said.
"Okay."
We both run and run and run and run. Our breathing becomes heavy, both of us are panting. Believe me but I preferred this feeling rather than being hurt, alone and betrayed. Both of us are breathless after the fourth lap around the park, both of us slumped our tired bodies on a bench still not talking to each other busy with our own thoughts. I hate thinking about him and my past, I wonder how he is right now I mean this day and this time, is he thinking about me? Is he thinking that if he just showed up we will be celebrating our wedding anniversary.
Nikki is right I think he's happy right now, I know he's happy maybe he didn't even think of me, maybe for him i'm just his past that's need to be forgotten. My heart constricts just by thinking that he forgot about me, about the time we shared, about the plans and things we want to build in the future. Yes, I have to accept the fact that i'm his past now, bad memories flash in front of me, I can't breathe. I shake my head and gulp the remaining water in the bottle, I look at Marcus, if you see him right now he's like a lost child.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Yup! Can we just stay here for a couple of hours?"
"No problem." I replied, smiling at him. We both become silent one more time. I smile bitterly at myself I suddenly remember something.
FLASHBACK
"Love" I stomped towards my boyfriend, he's peacefully sleeping in his bed. It's my birthday today but this so called boyfriend of mine didn't even greet me.
"What?" He scowls.
"Its lunch time, can we eat now?" I scowl back. "I cook lunch for us."
"Can you eat alone?"
"I don't like." I whine. "Let's eat together then you can go back to sleep."
"Okay! I'll just wash up."I went to the kitchen and prepare the table for us. He didn't forgot my birthday right? Maybe he has a surprise for me later. I giggle while waiting for him. He wouldn't ask me to sleep here in his house if he's not planning anything.
"Love, I have to go I have a meeting." He said.
"What?" I shout, i'm starting to get pissed.
"I have a sudden meeting, just eat lunch without me." I send him a death glare. "And don't wait for me tonight, i'm going out with my friends."
"So i'm going to stay here alone? All day?" I hate him.
"Yup! I promise I won't drink too much." He smiles. Damn you!
"Then why the hell you ask me to go here?" I hiss.
"Because I miss you." He smile. "And... and I don't have any clean clothes to wear."
"So you want me to do the laundry today?"
"Yes. Please Love." His eyes are twinkling.
"Get out!" I shout. "Before I stab you with a fork."
"Thank you Love." He smiles. "Bye."
And with that he leave the house, I scoff and trying my best not to burst in anger. Its okay if he ask me to do the laundry or clean the house but to forget my birthday, that's a different story. I loss my appetite so I decided to do the laundry instead, after this i'm going home or go out with my friends and drink to death. My phone rings and I answer it instantly.
"Hello!" I half shouts.
"Happy Birthday." It's Sasha.
"Thank you."
"What's wrong? Mad? Planning to kill someone?" She chuckles.
"Love" I simply said.
"Why?" She chuckles again.
"He forgot that today is my birthday." I hiss.
"Comeback home so that you can celebrate your birthday with us."
"I will." I said with authority."I need to do laundry first."
"What?" She laughs. "You're really in love huh? Even though you're mad to death you still want to do the laundry for him."
"Yes!" I sigh. "I'm madly in love with him."
"I know." She's still laughing. "Are you going home tonight?"
"I don't know."
"Just call me okay?"
"Okay"
"Bye! Happy birthday again."
"Bye! Thank you."
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After doing the laundry, changing the sheets of the bed and cleaning the whole house I drift to dreamland, its almost 7 in the evening and not even a single text from him to greet me, i'm going to punish that guy. My phone rings, it's one of his friends.
"Hey."
"Yes?" Would he greet me?
"Can you come here? Your boyfriend is drunk." I had enough i'm going to bury him.
"Just leave him there." I hiss.
"Just pick him up, I can't drive."
"I don't care about him or you, its only 7 in the evening and you're both drunk." I shout.
"Just come here okay? To the bar we always hang out." He said. "Bye." I ruffle my hair in annoyance. I'm going home after I pick him up in the bar. I hurriedly change my clothes and hale a cab. I'm going to push him in the river.
When I reach the bar there are a lot of people having fun especially that its a weekend, I went straight to one of the VIP rooms. I inhale a lot of air and i'm getting ready for a fight, I don't care if he and his friends are drunk and don't he dare vomit in the house or else i'm really going to kill him with my bare hands but when I open the door all my anger wash away.
"SURPRISE!!!!!!!"
The VIP room are full of white and pink balloons, our friends including Sasha are here. There's a 6 layered cake at the center of the table with food and drinks, I blink a couple of times more, scanning the whole room. Luckily there's no one drunk, everyone are smiling at me including Love, he smiles from ear to ear staring at me.
"Happy Birthday Love." He finally say when he stands in front of me.
"I hate you."
"Do you think I will forget this day?" He said. "Did you like my surprise?" I nod in response.
"But I still hate you." I hiss.
"Stop the drama." Sasha shouts. "Its a surprise party for you, so just come in so we can start the party."
"Come." He say and they sing for me. "Make a wish Love then blow your candles." I do as I told and smile at him. Earlier I want to kill him but now he's the best boyfriend in the world. "Pink and white." He whispers. "That's going to be the motif for our wedding in the future." He smiles and kiss me deeply.
END OF FLASHBACK
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"Let's eat i'm hungry." Marcus brings my senses back to reality.
"Okay! Where?"
"I know a good restaurant." He said while standing up. "Are you tired? I'd really love to walk."
"I'm fine, lead the way." I stand up, we walk 3 blocks. We reach a familiar restaurant, i'm afraid to go inside because I might find him there and worried because i'm with Marcus, what if he thinks that i'm dating?
I let him order for us because i'm really not hungry, scanning the whole restaurant because I might find Love. After a few minutes our food are being served one by one, my jaw literally drops on the floor it feels like a feast. I think he ordered for 10 people, I just look at the servers when they place a new dish on the table. Holy crap! Are we waiting for someone? His family or friends or girlfriend?
"What are you waiting for?" He look at me. "Eat."
"Are we waiting for someone?"
"No. Why?"
"Why did you order a lot of food?"
"Its fine." He smiles "Just eat."
"What's the occasion?"
"Its my birthday." He simply said.
"Happy Birthday."
"Thank you."
"I hope you told me ahead of time so that I can buy a gift for you."
"I don't like celebrating my birthday." He said. "A year ago this same month and day." He pause. "I was about to get married." I stop breathing. "I'm so happy that day, i'm getting married with my first love."
"First love?"
"But when the priest ask her Do you accept this man to be our husband?" He gulp a shot of soju. "She look at me with a sad expression and she said Sorry Marcus but I can't marry you." He chuckled bitterly and look away from me. "Then she run away leaving me alone in the altar."
"Then after almost a year fate brought let us meet again, but we didn't greet or glance at each other, she didn't even ask how am I or explain why'd she runaway."
"The night I met you in the bar." He continues. "I'm so sad and devastated then the thing between us happen." He pour soju in his glass. "You take away my physical needs but the pain and loneliness stay."
I didn't know how to react or what to say, I feel a sudden rush of pain fom his story. We have the same dilemma, I want to tell him that it's also my birthday today and I experience what happen to him. What's more painful? The person who said she can't marry the guy or the guy who didn't show up at his own wedding? He just continue to drink in silence while I continue to absorb what he just told me.
"Last night I just found out that she's engaged." He said. "That's way too painful than being alone for almost a year."
"I'm not going to lie, i'm still hoping that one day she will look for me and tell me that she made a bad decision." He chuckles. "But I guess that's not going to happen anymore."
"Did you talk to her?" I finally had the courage to talk.
"Yes." He smiles. "I still love her, just the way I loved her before."
"Then what happen?"
"Its really over this time, I mean its over for a long time but I have hopes and I hold on to the love that doesn't exist anymore."
"You're hurting right now because you still have hope and you still love her."
"Maybe. For a whole year a lot of questions loom over me but I hate to find the answers, actually i'm afraid to hear the answers from her."
I look at him, he's putting words in my mouth. Yes I still have hopes that one day he will comeback to me, one day he will tell me that he still love me and Yes, I have many questions but too afraid to find out the answers.
"I'm sorry." He look at me.
"For what?"
"Because of my loneliness and sadness something happen between us."
"It already happen." I answered him. If he only knew that we feel the same way that night. "Its fine."
"Is that a normal thing for you?"
"What?"
"One night stand."
"Maybe." I said and he chuckles. "Why?"
"Nothing." He smiles. "Let's eat so that I can take you home."
We eat in silence then go back to my apartment building not saying any single word to each other again, i'm not the only one that's been experiencing this . I wonder what's his reason why he didn't show up, did Love also feel loneliness and sadness? Wait! ERASE! What if he feels that, does it mean that he also seek ual intimacy with other girls?
"Thank you for today." Marcus look at me. "Thank you for keeping me company."
"No problem."
"Let's drink some other time."
"Okay! Just let me know when and what time."
"Tomorrow night?"
"Okay!" I smile, I don't care if we have a memo. "Be careful driving and Happy Birthday again." I hug and kiss his cheek.
"Thank you."
"Do you want to drink now?" I ask, I don't want him to be alone, he need a friend right now.
"Tomorrow." He pats my head. "Just rest, we both have work in the morning."
"Fine. Bye." I wave at him. I just stay there until his car is nowhere in my sight.
Love, I know you're happy right now, I know you've move on. Should I not wait for you or should I give it a try and will do my best to win you back? I suddenly have an urge to talk to him, I want to look for him, to ask him questions that need answers. I should just prepare for the worst.
The elevator pings at the 4th floor and I went straight to my unit, I enter the pass code then everyone shouts.
SURPRISE!!!!!!!
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