The bad memory in Italy croses my mind once again. He never loved me, he just sees me as a rebound girl, someone who will spread her legs when he starts to cuddle. Someone who will put him first all the time, someone who will love him endlessly even though he pushes away and someone who he spends time with because of guilt. YES GUILT!

 

 

Guilt! I hate that word since that night, I hated everything including myself but why didn't I hate him? I'm hurt! Totally hurt but I cannot just be mad at him. What we had is nothing but lies, nothing but guilt. No love. No caring. Nothing at all and it breaks my heart especially when I can't help but think that he is in love with someone else. How I wish I can rip my heart that time away from my body, i'm willing to do anything for him and I will do anything for him to love me, for him to want me, for him to feel something for me just like what he feels for Scarlet but then I realized i'm worthless in his eyes.

 

 

I lost him for the second time, I lost the man I love but again he never belongs to me and I think that's the most painful from everything that I've been through with him. Then when I thought that everything will be over, I gain two people in my life, Marcus and Zoey. I don't know how it all started but i'm happy and truly bless when they came especially the little one. My princess. She's very lovable, sweet and affectionate towards us, her parents. i love waking up with her every morning, I love every time she told me how much she loves me, how much she misses me if i'm not around.

 

 

 

"Mommy, I thought you're still sleeping." Zoey kisses my cheeks. "Good morning Mommy."

 

 

"Good morning baby."

 

 

"Mommy, stand up now I have a ballet class."

 

 

"I know." I smile at her and stand up. "What do you want for breakfast my princess?"

 

 

"Hmmmmm" She thinks first while making weird faces. "I want fried rice and hotdog Mommy."

 

 

"Okay. Where's Daddy?"

 

 

"Taking a shower." She points her lips toward the bathroom door. "And I remove my diaper Mommy because it stinks." She covers her nose while saying that and I just laugh with what she say.

 

 

"Let's go downstairs."

 

 

"Mommy, just call me when you're done cooking. I'm just going to watch cartoons."

 

 

"Fine." I smile and give her a kiss on the cheeks and head downstairs.This is what i'm thankful for every waking day of my life, i'm just glad that when everything is not right and i'm close on giving up Marcus is there for me. Me and him been through a lot in the past years but when Zoey came we both see a new light and hope

 

 

"Are you ready for the wedding?" I startle when Marcus nudge my shoulder.

 

 

"Yup but the clothes are not yet ready. i'll packed later."

 

 

"Okay! I won't bring a lot of clothes, after the reception i'm going back here, I have a meeting in the morning then i'm bound to Hongkong for two days."

 

 

"Does Zoey know you're going to Hongkong for a couple of days?"

 

 

"Not yet."

 

 

"You better tell her or else she's going to cry that can fill up her inflatable swimming pool." I smirk and he just sigh.

 

 

 

 

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I'm going to get married the day after tomorrow and I can't contain my happiness, I can't even explain what i'm feeling right now. I'm the first one who will settle down in the group and for some reason I can't erase this grin from my face, maybe because I found my true happiness, my partner for life and the girl that I want to be with forever.

 

 

Being with someone you truly love is the best thing in the world, as if she re-energize me. Like right now am with the soon to be Mrs. Lee Seungri, she's busy checking the gowns that we will bring this morning to Gian noona for her to fit and of course for Zoey, speaking of Zoey.

 

 

 

"Why didn't you tell me that noona and Marcus are together plus not to mention they have Zoey?"

 

 

"Because I don't have the right to tell you what they had." She arched her brow and look at me. "And the fact that I don't want your st*pid hyung to bother my friend ever again."

 

 

"Tori." I sigh , she's still mad at hyung, even Sasha and I think they can murd*r him if they want to.

 

 

"You can't blame me."

 

 

"I know baby." I look at her. "But atleast give hyung a chance."

 

 

"Chance for what? Gian accepted him again in just a snap of a finger but what did he do? He suddenly told her that he doesn't love my friend."

 

 

"Maybe hyung is a bit confuse."

 

 

"He's been confuse since the day of their wedding and speaking of that if you plan to ditch on our wedding day don't show yourself to me ever again, you have to hide somewhere that I can't find you because i'm going to kill you with my bare hands."

 

 

"Do you think I will do that?" 

 

 

"I'm just saying I don't want to experience hell like what my friend experienced when.... Never mind."

 

 

 

She goes out of the room and all I can do is sigh and slumped my body to the bed, does she think that hyung didn't experience hell when he suddenly leave noona for no apparent reason? And right now he goes back to that hell since he broke up with her. his life is so complicated, I don't know what he's thinking but i'm worried. We've all been worried for him, I know he hired people to look for noona like before but this time its different, they didn't find her. I ask him why bother to look for her and he just say that he just wanted to make sure that she's fine.

 

 

 

"I'll see you later in the restaurant." Tori crawls on the bed and kiss my lips. "And sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to be mad at you."

 

 

"I know baby. I love you."

 

 

"I love you too."

 

 

 

After taking a shower and grabbing all he things I need I headed to the driveway and went to the hotel where my hyungs are staying, they've been here for the past week, I want them to relax before my wedding. There's a lot of rumors about my wedding but I didn't confirm or denied anything. I want it to be private and solemn so I told Sajangnim that I will answer everything after my honeymoon, right now I want the whole ceremony to be perfect because it suits with my perfect wife.

 

 

 

The ceremony and reception will be held in a resort, owned by Sasha's family. No elaborate preparations but it has to be perfect, the place is all set that's what I heard from Sasha and Nash. My parents together with Sajangnim will arrive tomorrow morning and they will head straight to the resort but tonight is the most i'm excited about, me and my hyungs will go out to have  a stag party.

 

 

 

After I fetch my hyungs we all go to the restaurant, all of us are curious because noona and hyung will meet again after the incident in Singapore. We try to ask him what they talked about when we found them in the elevator but he didn't spill a word. I hope everything between them will turn to be okay but how can that happen if hyung thinks that Zoey is his daughter?

 

 

 

 

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The minute we enter in the restaurant I immediately spotted Gian to one of the tables in the private room together with Tori, she's gathering all the papers in the table then stands up. I really don't know what would I feel or even react when she's around, the atmosphere tilts to the worst like what happen in Singapore. I almost grab her by the arm for her to tell the truth about Zoey, I know in my heart that there's a huge possibility that she's mine and I want  to know the truth and I want to have my rights as her biological father.

 

 

 

"Noona, we just arrive. Why are you leaving?"

 

 

"I'm just going to fetch Zoey." She look at Jiyong.

 

 

"Why? Where?"

 

 

"We enrolled her to a ballet class across the street. I'll be back"

 

 

"Noona, i'll come with you." Daesung grins and slip his hand to Gian's arms. "Let's go noona."

 

 

 

Both of them walk and talk, I just stare at them laughing. She is indeed Daesung's favorite noona, when he first met her they become close even with Seungri. I'm just thankful that she's not mad at them or I don't... know. I can't think straight. After a few minutes I saw the both of them again but this time Daesung is carrying Zoey, she's staring at Daesung then she laughs and I can't help myself but to smile.

 

 

"You got it real bad hyung."

 

 

"Huh?" I look at Youngbae. "What?"

 

 

"Nothing." He smiles and look at Jiyong.

 

 

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh opppppppaaaaaaaaaaa!" In unison we look at the door and found Zoey shouting. Daesung walk towards us with Zoey while Gian stay behind and talk to one of the employee.

 

 

"Why are you shouting Zoey?" Asked by maknae.

 

 

"A couple of girls scream when they saw oppa, so I just imitate them." She smiles and wiggle out of Daesung's arms. "Hi Love." She smiles again and pinch my cheeks. "How are you?"

 

 

"I'm good, how about you?" I smile.

 

 

"I'm good and tired because of my ballet class." She sighs and try to sit on my lap, so I carry her. "Love, i'm hungry."

 

 

"What do you want to eat?" I asked her. She look around and wave her hand to one of the servers.

 

 

"Hi Kuya Franco." She smiles at him. "I'm hungry." (Kuya means older brother)

 

 

"What do you want Zoey?"

 

 

"The usual." She giggles. "How about you Love, what do you want?"

 

 

"We already ordered our food." I smile and ruffled her hair.

 

 

"Okay! Make my order 2 servings please, one for me and one for Mommy."

 

 

"Sure thing Zoey, how about dessert?"

 

 

"I'll think about it first. Thank you."

 

 

"Okay. I'll be back with your food." He smiles at Zoey and look at me. "Sir." I just nod back and he left.

 

 

"I almost forgot, I have something to show you."

 

 

"What is it Love?"

 

 

"Here." I hand her my phone and show her a bunch of pictures of us in the fan meet, uploaded by some VIPs.

 

 

"This is us Love." She beams at me then scroll some of the pictures.

 

 

"Yes! It's us, they uploaded a lot of our pictures."

 

 

"Wow! Can I show it  to my mom?"

 

 

"Sure." She runs and went inside the office of Gian, I wonder what are they talking about and suddenly panics raises in me. I think hard, trying to recall everything that's been saved in my phone. Why am I even bothered what's on my phone?

 

 

 

The lunch is awkward. Well for me it is maybe because after a long time, me and her are eating together in one table even though she didn't glance at me. What do I expect? For her to smile in my direction like nothing happens. Like I never cause her pain?

 

 

 

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Most of the entourage for Suengri and Tori's wedding are already in the resort, the couple will host a dinner for everyone. The Bigbang members arrived ahead of time with their managers and of course the groom. Sasha and Louie arrive followed by Gian, Marcus and Zoey. Nash is busy since he's the general manager of the resort, he wants the whole thing to be perfect since the couple are his friends.

 

 

 

"Daddy, i'll stay here while you and Mommy grab our things from the car."

 

 

"Okay but please behave."

 

 

"Yes Daddy. Hi love." She lie on the couch, her head on TOP's lap.

 

 

"Hi. How are you?"

 

 

"I'm good." Zoey said and started to drink her milk from the feeding bottle. She stops and look at TOP. "My Daddy said we will go to Seoul next week. You live there right?"

 

 

"Yes. How long will you stay there?"

 

 

"I don't know." She continues to drink but again she stops. "Can I come to your house? And to their houses?" She points at the other members.

 

 

"Of course." He nods. He knows that this is the only chance he got to find out if his hunch is true. He can show Zoey to his mom and ask her for her honest opinion, he even thinks to talk to Marcus and asked him about the kid but he seems to be uncomfortable with the topic and his chest constricts every time he thinks that Marcus and Gian are together. So this is how it feels like? He asked himself. The girl she ask once to marry him is happy now with someone else, the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life have a family of her own.

 

 

 

"Noona, she fell asleep." His thoughts stop when he heard Youngbae, Gian is now standing in front of him. She's within reach but seems so far and she still doesn't look at him.

 

 

 

Slowly Gian lifted Zoey and carried her, he wants to talk to her about the kid but he promise himself that he won't do anything stupid during Suengri's wedding week. Maybe some other time especially that the kid will fly to Seoul with Gian and Marcus.

 

 

 

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It's the day of the wedding, everything is all set. The parents of the couple are already in the venue, the entourage are just waiting for the instructions of the wedding coordinator. The bride is ready  and the groom is happy, he's very excited and he can't wait for the whole wedding to be finish. He left a note and a bouquet of roses in the room of his wife to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The reception is in full swing, the whole resort is decorated with the color motif of the wedding. The bride and groom are dancing in the center of the crowd, they're so much in love with ech other. The other members just finish singing for the couple and Zoey is very happy to watch them perform in front of her.

 

 

 

"Sueng Hyun!" The four guys turn around and found Kevin, Gian's cousin. The other side of the resort is empty so its just the five of them.

 

 

"Hey Ke..." A fist landed on his face, the four guys didn't have time to react because of shocked.

 

 

"D*mn you!" Why did you do that to Gian?"

 

 

"Sorry." That's the only word he can utter as he wipe his bloody mouth with the back of his hand.

 

 

"Kevin, easy man." Jiyong stand in between his hyung and Gian's cousin.

 

 

"I've waited three long years to punch your ing face."

 

 

"Kevin!" Gian shouts and hurriedly walk towards the guys. "What the h*ll?" She says when she saw Sueng Hyun's mouth. "Bring him to his room." She looks at Daesung. "I'll ask somebody to bring some ice and medicine kit." She said without looking at her ex-LOVEr. "And you! We need to talk. I already told you not to do a scene." Gian drags Kevin away from Sueng Hyun and they start to walk.

 

 

"Gian!" Seung Hyun shouts. "Is Zoey my daughter?"

 

 

"No!" Gian firmly said. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

 

 

"Look at me!" He shouts. He wanted to come near her but the guys are stopping him.

 

 

"Zoey is not your daugther!" Kevin said. "And why the hell you insists that? You broke up with my cousin right?"

 

 

"I'm asking her not you!"

 

 

"She's not your daugther." Gian voice out as she walks towards him. "Zoey is not your daughter." She said again as she stand in front of him, staring at his eyes. He froze. He didn't expect that he will see different emotions in those eyes and he suddenly becomes sad, her eyes are cold not like the one he keeps in his mind, the times when they're still together.