A lot food are laid on the table, I can't even count how many different kinds of food or dish I stuffed in my mouth. I don't know if it is a good combination in my stomach, all I know is that I need and want to eat. Just to ease away some of the pain i'm feeling right now. I know I should listen to everyone not to trust him again. Not to fall for him again. Not to believe even a single word that's coming out of his mouth. Yes, its my fault! I've never learn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I massage my temples a couple of times while munching on some grilled beef, I still can't believe that after all the things happened to us we ended up like this. Well he choose for us to be like this. I sigh heavily. We will never going to surpass this stage of our lives, we will be forever like this. No us. No eternity.

 

 

 

"Wow!" Zoey's eyes widens as she scan the dining table. "What's the occasion Mommy? There's a lot of food, I don't know what to eat first."

 

 

"Nothing." I said. "What do you want to eat?" 

 

 

"Chicken." She respond and sit on the chair. "Daddy, what's the occasion?"

 

 

"Mommy's a little depress."  Marcus said without thinking. i glared at him. I know he wanted to be honest with his daughter but I hope not like this honest.

 

 

"Depress? What's that daddy?"

 

 

"You will understand that when you  grow up princess. Just eat okay."

 

 

"I hope I become depressed when I grow up so that I have a lots of food like this." She beams at her dad then at me. 

 

 

"Oh no princess!" Marcus shakes his head. "I will do anything for you not to feel that but I know that's impossible." He ruffled Zoey's hair and continues. "But I will always be by your side when that happens."

 

 

"And you will buy me a lot of food Daddy?"

 

 

"Yes! I will buy it for you princess."

 

 

"Thank you Daddy. Will you stay with me as well Mommy?" She look at me, her innocent look captivates my heart. "Mommy, answer me." She whines and pout.

 

 

"Yes! We will eat every food Daddy will buy."

 

 

"Yes!" She shouts, hands on the air and wiggle her body. "But Mommy..." She stops and put a mouthful of chicken in . "...why are you depressed?"

 

 

"Nothing to worry about princess." Marcus smiled at her. "Mommy, just want to fill her tummy with a lot of food."

 

 

"Me too." She said happily. "My tummy is very happy." She continues as she giggles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Good night princess." I said and kiss her forehead. She's laying on her bed. Freshly showered and wearing her princess pajamas. She smiles at me while rubbing her eyes.

 

 

"Good night Mommy." She said. "I love you." 

 

 

"I love you too Zoey."

 

 

"I love you Daddy!" She shouts. After a few seconds Marcus is inside the bedroom. So I stand up and give them a father and daughter moment.

 

 

"i love you princess." I heard Marcus say. "Good night. Sweet dreams."

 

 

"Daddy can we go somewhere tomorrow?"

 

 

"Where do you want to go?"

 

 

"Mall. Ice skating." Zoey responds happily.

 

 

"Okay! Just sleep and we will go out tomorrow."

 

 

"Thank you daddy.Good night."

 

 

 

I felt the pain one more time, I really can't believe that i'm feeling this familiar feeling inside me. Of course I want to fight for us, fight for the relationship. God only knows how happy I am when we got back together. How contented I am when i'm laying beside him. How safe I feel when his arms wrapped around my body. My chest constricts but I vow to myself that I won't cry anymore. But who am I kidding? I still love him but I feel betrayed. I still care for him but he just use me. He grab the chance to take advantage of my feelings for him. Who wouldn't be happy with that? He found a girl who is

 

 

1. Madly in love with him.

 

 

2. Will do anything for him.

 

 

3. Accepted him after all the things he do to me.

 

 

4. Always willing to give myself to him.

 

 

 

And the list is endless. I'm still trying to figure out what I did wrong or where in our relationship I am lacking off. I went down stairs and clean up the kitchen. I feel bloated but i'm still hungry. I went to the fridge and grab a tub of triple chocolate ice cream. I grab a spoon and sit on a bar stool then I start to dig in. I feel like i'm going crazy, i'm eating while trying my best not to cry. I'm in this situation that I don't know how to get out off.

 

 

 

"Still not full?" I heard Marcus say. " I can call a delivery for a pizza." He continues and sit beside me.

 

 

"Can you?" I asked. "If you say so." I grab the cordless phone on the kitchen counter top and hand it to him. "Call now."

 

 

 

He just smirked and grabbed it from my hand. As he waits for the operator to answer he snatch the spoon on my hand, dunked it on the tub and put a spoonful to his mouth. We eat alternately the whole time he's talking to the operator on the other line, too bad Zoey is as sleep for sure she will be in heaven if she found out that we order pizza. That's one of her favorites. 

 

 

 

"By the way have Erin called you?"

 

 

"No. Why would she call me?" He said in a monotone voice.

 

 

"I thought she will call on a regular basis just to check on Zoey."

 

 

"She doesn't have any right to Zoey. You know that." He look at me. "Its clear as the blue sky, she has nothing to do with my daughter the moment she step out of my life and Zoey's life."

 

 

"But she's still the mother."

 

 

"I know and Zoey wouldn't be here in this world without her but I had enough. I trusted her and gave her a second chance but she stirs the whole situation."

 

 

"What if she wants to be with Zoey?"

 

 

"Do you developed memory gap when Sueng Hyun broke up with you?" He said and tap my head lightly. "When we sign on the agreement about Zoey, you are there, including the lawyers."

 

 

"I know." I glared at him. "But what if she changes her mind?"

 

 

"I'll sue her." He said without thinking it twice."I'll just take a shower. Wait for the pizza." He said and grab a couple of bills in his wallet then place it on the table. "Save some for me okay."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I jerk when someone rang the doorbell, it must be the pizza. I hurriedly went out of the gate and get the pizza as I hand him the money. The silence inside the house is killing me once more, I think i'm about to go crazy but I shrugged it off, Marcus ordered 4 different kinds of pizza and I ate two slices of each. 

 

 

 

The reason Sueng Hyun gave me that night is unacceptable, I think he's just making excuses to get out of our relationship. i just hope that he just talked to me sincerely, if he really doesn't want to be with me i'll set him free. I won't tie him up in a situation that he doesn't want to be in it. It badly hurts until now. I thought everything will be okay and who he thinks he is to tell me that he doesn't like the set up I have with Marcus and Zoey. He's not included in my life when I made that choice so clearly that he don't have any right to tell me that what I did is wrong or unacceptable.