How can he say that? Is he stup!d or what?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can't he tell that i'm still head over heels in love with him?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to throw myself to him every time were together, I want to be with him all the time. I know something happen between the two of us a couple of times after he found out that Zoey is not our child. I'm a total hypocrite if I tell to myself that I don't like it or its just a mistake. I enjoyed and love it at the same time. Nothing change, my feelings for him is just the same even though he do unexpected things in the past. I got hurt but my love for him is so strong that I myself can't believe it.

 

 

 

People around me always say that its the best for me if he's out of my life, I know that they're concern but who else will I listen to? Who else know what I had in mind? My whole being screams for him, that's how I love him. Yes, he hurt me. Yes, he didn't showed up in our wedding. Yes, he's a douche bag but whatever they said about him I just can't make myself hate him or make myself love him less. And one more secret, i'm enjoying being chased by him. I'm enjoying all the pampering he's giving me, all those sweet words he kept on saying. All the efforts he's doing makes my heart flutter. I'm weird right?

 

 

 

"Mommy, are you and Love going to watch me while i'm in my ballet class?" Zoey looked at me with her big round eyes. We're about to go to her ballet class after we drop Marcus in the Airport. He have a business meeting in Hongkong, he's with his business partner Oliver and his secretary Ivo.

 

 

"Sure." I say. 

 

 

"But what if the girls start to scream again just like what happen when Daesung oppa come with you to fetch me?" She pouts at me then look at Seung Hyun in the drivers seat. 

 

 

"Don't worry no one will recognized me." Seung Hyun said as he look at Zoey through the mirror.

 

 

"Should I tell them that you and Mommy are together so that they don't scream?"

 

 

"No/Yes!" Me and Seung Hyun answered at the same time.

 

 

"Its confusing." She whines and cross her arms across her chest. 

 

 

"Don't worry about it Zoey." Sueng Hyun assures her and she just nods.

 

 

"Mommy, next time that Daddy will go out of the country me and you should come with him." 

 

 

"You can tell him that. Why? Do you missed him already?"

 

 

"Yes." She said with a nod. "But i'm happy that Love will stay in the house with us." She beams and giggle a little bit.

 

 

"I'm glad you call me yesterday morning." Seung Hyun said.

 

 

"No problem Love." She beams. "Nobody will take care of us while Daddy is away."

 

 

"I can take care of you." I turn around to face Zoey. "We always spend time with each other every time your Dad is away."

 

 

"But Mommy!" She paused. "Its nice if Love is with us. He's funny. He makes me laugh and He takes really take good care of us."

 

 

"So you like to spend more time with him?" I point at Seung Hyun. "Than me?" I point at myself.

 

 

"I like to spend time with the both of you Mommy." I pouts. "Are you jealous of Love?"

 

 

"No!" 

 

 

"She's not jealous Zoey." Seung Hyun said and I hear him chuckle. "She loves me." Yes I love you!

 

 

"Yes I know that." Zoey said after a long silence. I frown and look at her. "Daddy told me that Mommy love you Love." She giggles.

 

 

"I know that." He laughs then glance at me. Why are they ganging up on me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've been sitting on the couch for at least half an hour trying to list down ways or plan that I have to do while i'm here in Manila, I need to do all the things that make Gian fall for me again. If words are enough I think I can win her over again, if love making is enough I think I nailed it already. I can't think of anything that can make her happy, I can't think at all, actually i'm afraid that she might slip in my fingers and this time she might be gone in my life forever.

 

 

 

"What are you writing Love?" I startled when Zoey suddenly sit beside me. Freshly showered, we just came back from her ballet class. "Can I see it?"

 

 

"Actually its a secret." I whisper to her which made her more curious, I can see it in her eyes that suddenly lit up like a christmas tree.

 

 

"Secret about what? You can tell me, I won't tell it to anyone." 

 

 

"A secret about Mommy." I said.

 

 

"My Mommy?" She look at me and point at her self. 

 

 

"Yes!" I said with a nod. "I'm thinking of ways on how to make her my girl." I smile.

 

 

"Your girl? You want my Mommy to be your daughter?"

 

 

"No." I shake my head and laugh. "I want her to be my girlfriend then after a few months I want her to be my wife."

 

 

"So you want to take my Mommy away from me?" She stands up and put her hands on her waist. "What if I said you can't do that?"

 

 

"I won't take her away from you." I ruffled her hair. "If I do that Mommy will be sad as well and she might cry and I don't want her to cry."

 

 

"But you always make her cry." She commented and I don't know how to answer. "Why do you make my Mommy cry?"

 

 

"I know its my fault." I sigh heavily. "And I regret that." Why am I explaining this kind of stuff to a 4 year old girl? "Will you help me?"

 

 

"What are you two talking about? We both turn around and look at Love. "Are you scolding him Zoey?"

 

 

"Yes Mommy!" She said with authority.

 

 

"What do you want for dinner princess?"

 

 

"Anything Mommy. How about you Love?"

 

 

"Anything."

 

 

"Okay." Gian just shrugged her shoulder and starts to walk.

 

 

"Mommy, Love wants you to be his girlfriend." Zoey suddenly said. I was shocked.

 

 

"What?" Gian walk back to our direction and look at Zoey. "What did you say Zoey?"

 

 

"Nothing." I wave my hand. "Go cook dinner now, Zoey's hungry and there's some side dishes in the fridge my umma made." 

 

 

"Mommy, Love's a liar!" She runs towards her. "He said that he wants you to be his girlfriend then wife." I mentally do a face palm. My plan is ruined even though it haven't started yet.

 

 

"She's just joking. You know... kids." I stand up and hold both side of Gian's shoulder. "Go cook now."

 

 

"Mommy, i'm not lying." Zoey said and frown at me. "I'm telling the truth."

 

 

"I know princess." Gian smiles and walk away from us.

 

 

"See that Love? Mommy, knows who's telling the truth between us." She tucked her tongue out and march out of the guest room.

 

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Everything's set! The flowers, different kinds of chocolates and a couple of stuff that I  prepare. I'm just waiting for Love to go out of Zoey's room, Its almost midnight, the dinner is a bit awkward. I can't look at her straight in her eyes because of what Zoey told her. I can't even defend myself to her earlier, I know Zoey's right with all the things she told Love, I don't even know what's going to happen and its just day 1 of my 1 whole week.

 

 

 

"Hey." I said.

 

 

"Why are you here? Zoey's asleep." She said and gently close the door of Zoey;s bedroom.

 

 

"I'm waiting for you."

 

 

"Why?" She stop probably waiting for what i'm going to say. "You know what, its really nice of you to stay here and look out for me and Zoey."

 

 

"No problem."

 

 

"Aren't you busy with work? Its really not a big deal if you want to go back to Seoul."

 

 

"No." I shake my head "I mean I like to stay here with the both of you."

 

 

"Okay." She just shrugged her shoulder. "I'm going to my room now."

 

 

"Wait!" I hold her hand. "Come with me for a minute." I said and we both walk to the pool side. 

 

 

 

We walk hand in hand, i'm a bit nervous because it feels like i'm back to square one. The first time I plan something like this to her i'm excited and happy. Don't get me wrong i'm happy right now but at the same time i'm kind of angry at myself, if I didn't do all those things before were married right now and have kids of our own.

 

 

 

"I prepare something for you." I said.

 

 

"What?"

 

 

"In the pool side." 

 

 

"Chocolates?" She whispers but I hear it loud and clear. I smile inwardly. I still now all the things she wants and I want to pat my back and hug myself.

 

 

"How did you know? Did you peek?" I said as we stop. 

 

 

"No"

 

 

"I bought different kinds of your favorite chocolates." I started. "Then the last time i'm here... I...."

 

 

"I what?"

 

 

"I rummage your cabinet."

 

 

"What?" She frown while munching some of the chocolates. "Why?"

 

 

"Here." I grab the photo book I made a couple of years ago. It has some pictures in it but most of the pages are blank. "I want to continue what we started." I said then show her a polaroid camera. 

 

 

 

She stop and just stare at the photo book and polaroid in my hands then her gazed shifts on me. I don't know what she's thinking, did I go overboard with these kind of stuffs? Is she mad at me? I hope not! I'm waiting for her response, i'm waiting if she's going to agree with what I had in mind. She starts to munch again the chocolates, I stare at her. Then she sniffs and turn the other direction. Is she crying? I walk to face her, I don't know if i'm going to smile and laugh or hug her. Tears spring down her cheeks while is full of chocolates. 

 

 

 

"You always made me smile Love." I said with a wide smile on my face. "I love you." And with that I put down what i'm holding and hug her tightly. I GUESS THE FIRST STEP WAS A SUCCESS AFTER ALL!