CHAPTER 18: I SAW HIM AGAIN
Love
CHAPTER 18 I SAW HIM AGAIN
Everyone are busy for the YG family concert that will start 2 months from now, as of the moment all of them are practicing for their production numbers as a group, solo or mash up. The production crews are busy with the layout of the stage, lighting of the stage or whatever they call them. I really don't know about the terms they used on stage or... Whatever!
Me and Nikki will fly to Manila for her parent's 50th wedding anniversary. They will renew their vows, I really don't want to go i'm allergic to weddings all I want is to go back to Manila and stay in our house but I know I have to deal with this kind of stuff whether I like it or not and beside its going to be a family reunion so I don't have any choice.
"When will you leave noona?" Daesung asked me while were eating in the YG cafeteria. "We heard that you and Nikki noona will have a vacation in Manila?"
"Next week but I won't comeback anymore." I said with a deadpan expression.
"WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT" We both heard a loud scream or whatever you call it, me and Daesung turn around and found maknae with Seung Hyun, Youngbae and Jiyong holding their own food trays. "Yah noona!" He continues and slam the tray on the table.
"Why are you shouting?" I look and ready to strangle him.
"What are you talking about huh?"
"What?" I ask.
"You're coming back here, no arguments." He said with finality. I scoff and cross my arms on my chest.
"And who are you to tell me what to do?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Hyung." He whines and look at Seung Hyun with puppy eyes. "Hyung talk to her." He said again and point at my direction. I scoff again and shake my head.
"I'm going now." I stand up and carry my food tray then give it to the ahjumma who works on the counter then left. I still hear Suengri calling me but I didn't bother to turn around. If I can do that I will in a heart beat, I won't return in this place forever.
I went to the 6th floor to look for Nikki both of us will go to the mall to find a gift for her parents, I really don't know what will I get for them while Nikki already booked a flight and hotel for her parents in Japan, she said it's for their 'honeymoon'. Actually I want to puke just by thinking that their still doing it, I just can't even imagine.
"Ready?" I said as I found her in the meeting room with Xin.
"Bigbang needs to try their outfits first before we leave." She answer me without looking at my direction. "Help me."
"Nope! That's not my job." I wiggle my finger and leave them before she force me to do whatever she thinks off.
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Nikki is crying silently while her parents are saying their vows to each other in front of the altar, i'm kind of annoyed to everyone no one told me that they will renewed their vows in the church where I should supposed to get married. Every emotions, things that happen in the past replayed in front of me. Yes it s*cks but I have to endure it, I have to be strong in front of everybody especially in front of my parents. I don't want them to be worried for their only child because apparently she can't moved on.
I don't know whats happening around me, i'm not interested with the surrounding plus the fact that I shut my brain down. I want to strangle Nikki right now I don't know why the hell she's crying for pete's sake her parents are renewing their vows not getting a divorce. The whole clan is complete, indeed this is a family reunion. my mind is flying somewhere else when I feel a light squeeze in my hand, I turn to my right and look at my dad.
"Are you okay darling?" He said in a normal tone but his eyes says a different thing.
"Yes." I fake a smile and lean my head on his shoulder. "I'm hungry thou." I add.
"This will end in a couple of minutes." He kiss my forehead and chuckle.
"I hope so." I look at him again and smile
"What are the two of you talking about?" My mom whisper.
"Your daughter is hungry." My dad whisper back.
I hear my mom chuckles but my eyes are fixed on the altar, I suddenly remember the day of my wedding everything suddenly came back to me as if it wants to rip my heart out of my body. I lean again my head on my dad's shoulder trying my best not to cry with a lot of people around me, I shake my head wishing to wash away my thoughts and to convince myself that i'm really hungry.
I tuck my tongue out for the nth time when my cousin's 2 year old son look at me, I smile as he frowns at me, brows knit together with pouting of the lips. My cousin probably notice it that's why he turns around and look at me then to his son, I tucked my tongue again and he cries to the point that our relatives look at our direction. I just realized that I want to have a child of my own but I know that will never happen because I need first to find the man of my own and I still have to move on and love myself.
The reception is in full swing, everybody are happy, talking non-stop, catching up with each other. Some of our relatives came from different countries, they just go back here to attend the reunion and to witness the wedding. I mingle with my cousins, aunts and uncles its been a long time since I saw some of them. I don't even remember everyone, the last reunion they had i'm not there because I went to some country to mend my heart, When the wedding didn't happen I resign to my work then go and hide from everyone.
"Gian, you want to join us tomorrow we will go shopping and bonding." One of my cousin said.
"I can't, I promise Tori that I will meet her tomorrow for some business." I replied. Too bad Sasha is not in the country, I hope she's here I miss the both of them how I wish that the three of us live in the same country.
"Maybe after you meet Tori, you can follow us." Nikki said.
"Okay." I nod in agreement. I need to enjoy every single bit of this freedom because for sure when I step again in Seoul its going to be a wild ride.
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The vows that Nikki's parents say to each other really tugs my heart, I lean against the pillar at the back of the church. My heart aches so much while I listen to them and while the priest is talking. I glance at Love's direction I can't see her face, she's leaning her head to dad's shoulder while tucking her tongue once in a whille to the baby who's in front of her. I smile when I see her cousin Michael carrying a baby boy, he already have his own family I assume that's his son and the girl beside him is his wife.
Time flies so fast most of her cousins are married, how I wish i'm beside her right now her head is leaning on my shoulder. I envision that i'm holding her hands right now, tucking also my tongue to the baby in front of us, whispering to her sweet nothings. For sure when the wedding happens we will also renew our vows but i'm here hiding behind a huge pillar while peeking to see my supposed to be wife.
She turn her head slightly to my direction and I can see the pain in her eyes, I want to hug her and take away all the pain. I know this is hard for her this place has a huge part of our lives I look again at the altar and the feeling is still there. I'm still mesmerize how beautiful the church is and I know she feels the same way, I grab my camera and take a picture of it, I adjust the lens and snap a couple of shots, I also took some pictures of Love before heading out of the church. My vision becomes blurred and as soon as I step out of the place and I started to sob.
I went back to my house and immediately transfer all the pictures to my laptop, I stare at Love's pictures over and over again. She still have my heart all this years but I don't have the guts to approach her, I don't have the guts to tell her my side of the story and I don't have the courage to say that I still love her deeply.
"After all this years she's still the same, still beautiful and have that wow factor." One of my friend suddenly say.
"I know."
"Talk to her."
"I can't and you know that."
"You might regret it again, she might slipped in your fingers." He said and pat my back.
"She already slipped in my fingers." I look at him. "I let her go."
"That's the worst thing you did in your entire life."
"Yes." I nod. "By the way what are you doing here?"
"To support you." He smiles and wiggle his brows. "I know you will sulk all by yourself here in your house."
"You can go now." I said and close my laptop. "I'm not in the mood to do anything."
"Let's just drink or go out, what do you think?"
"I told you i'm not in the mood for anything." My heart feels heavy when I saw Love earlier. I sigh and went straight to my room. Its been a while since I went here, everything in this house reminds me of her but I don't want to sell this house, I just can't.
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All the pictures of me and Love are scattered in my bed, I look at them one by one before stuffing it in my hand carry bag. I will go out of the country for work, I hate to leave but work is work. I hate to leave her again but I can't even talk to her I get tongue tied every time she's within reach. I sigh for the last time before leaving the house, when I got out of the front door I spotted someone across the street I blink a couple of times then the girl vanished. I walk out of the gate and cross the street then look at all directions, I can't be wrong Love is here standing while staring at the house.
"What's with the face?" My friend is beside me while buckling his seat belt. "What's wrong?"
"I saw her earlier."
"Who?"
"Love. She's standing across the street. I look for her but i'm too late."
"That's nice." He smiles.
"Nice?" I arched my brow and look at him.
"She still wants to see you." He smiles.
"How can you tell that?"
"Duh! She will not waste her time to go to your house if she forgot you." He state the obvious. "All you have to do now is find her and make her yours again."
"Sir please fasten your seat belt the plane is about to take off." The flight attendant said to us. Both of us got shocked. It's Sasha. She scoff and shake her head.
"Hi." My friend smile at her.
"Hi." She said back. "Please fasten your seat belts."
"How are you?" I ask. I want to say so much more but I don't know where to start.
"Married." She wiggle her left hand. "And the best part of it is my husband appears on our wedding day. You, how are you?" She smirks.
"I'm sorry." I said quietly but staring at her.
"Say that to my friend not to me." She stare back.
"He's been in hell all this years." My friend butted in.
"Really? It seems he's fine." She said pointing at me.
"No he's not."
"Okay if you say so."
"I saw her earlier in front of our house." I said.
"I know." What Sasha said made me froze. "She told me she saw you but she left." I didn't know what to say anymore I just stare at her then gaze at the window. I'm right she's there and she saw me. I sigh heavily and close my eyes, I really don't know what will I do now.
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What gotten in this stupid head of mine? Why do I bother to go to our house? Why? Why? Why? I see him earlier, I should have left, I should have stop myself to go there in the first place. I know he saw me, he wouldn't go out of the house and cross the street if he didn't see me. I stomped my feet and curse myself loudly before flopping myself in my bed, such a st*pid idea Gian.
"Darling is everything okay?" My mom knock on my door. I groan inwardly and stand up.
"Yes mom." I lied. "I forgot my other phone in Seoul." I lied again.
"I thought something bad happen to you." She sighs and smile at me.
"Sorry." I said. "I will go out, I will go to Tori's office."
"Just be back before dinner." My mom said.
"Okay!" I smile and grab my bag. "I'll go now, where's dad?"
"In the living room reading the news paper." I kiss the both of them then go out of the house.
I want to bang my head on the steering wheel that's the worst thing I did and I want to free fall, actually i'm sure that he's not there but to my surprise he suddenly step out of the door which startles me I almost pee on my pants for heaven's sake. I wonder what he's doing there, i'm 100% sure that he won't be there. I pinch the bridge of my nose, inhaling and exhaling for a couple of times before concentrating on driving.
"I heard from Sasha what you did earlier." That's what Tori told me when I enter her office.
"Me?" I said.
"So how does it feel to see your 'Love'?"
"Weird. It feels like i'm a stalker." I sigh and flop on the sit in front of her.
"Then why did you runaway?"
"What do you expect me to do? Run towards him and give him a hug?" I said dramatically which made her smile.
"You still love him."
"What do you think?" I scoff.
"Then why do you run? Why don't you tell him that?"
"Because I can't." I ruffle my own hair in annoyance. "Stop asking me questions."
"Fine."
"What do you want? Why i'm here?"
"Someone called last week his name is Kenny Salvador. He said that he wants the furnitures you made and he demands you to sketch some more" She said.
"Demand?"
"He said that they will open a restaurant next year he want your designs."
"I don't have time, you know that." I reason out. "YG will start the famcon next month, you know that right?"
"Kenny is willing to wait." She smiles. "I told him that you're busy with your other work."
"I'll try."
"Okay. I'll just call Kenny tomorrow." She stand up and look at me. "Let's eat, it feels like your about to faint." She laughs. "Or do you want iced coffee?" I stand up and went out of her office. Yes I badly needed iced coffee right now.
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