CHAPTER 36: ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG
Love
CHAPTER 36 ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG
Its Seung Hyun's birthday today and i'm determined to talk to him. I won't take NO for an answer, i'll do anything for us to sit and talk. That's my plan if it doesn't work, I have to figure out something else. I want the things to be right for the both of us, i'll swallow my pride and my everything. I want him to hear me out, I definitely want to hear him out. I want to know the real reason why he suddenly broke up with me and not to mention that I deserve ing explanations.
"I think Scarlet is a bad influence to Tabi." I heard Eun Ji unnie said.
"Why?" Nikki asked.
"He's been smoking again since they got back together." All the hair in my body stands up. "Since we arrive from Japan I heard that the two are always together, he's been staying with Scarlet since that day."
"Really?" Nikki said. "I know that they love each other but being a bad influence to Tabi is a whole new thing."
"I know." Unnie sighs. "He's not been smoking since forever then he's back to his old habits when the girl appear again all of a sudden."
"I don't know what to say."
"Well I don't like her from the beginning." Unnie declares. "But who am I to tell him that, right?"
"We can't do anything."
"What do you think Gian?" I startled when I heard my name.
"I don't know." I shrugged, just the thought of him and Scarlet together makes me sick to my bones. "I have to go." I didn't think twice. "I have some errands to do."
"Do you want us to accompany you?" Nikki look at me.
"I'm fine." I said. "I'm meeting with Erin's sister after this." I lied. "I need to give something to her from Erin."
"Okay. Take care." They wave at me and i'm out of the YG building.
I called Seungri and ask if he can call Seung Hyun and ask him where he is right now. No one knows that we broke up, I just don't have the guts to tell anyone about our status besides Marcus and Erin. When Suengri asked me why, I just told him that I want to surprise my boyfriend since it's his birthday today. After a few minutes he called me back and told me that he thinks he's in the dorm right now since he's not in the villa nor in the apartment. I said thanks and hurriedly hail a cab.
I bought a cake and I have a small gift for him that I bought in Tokyo. I took my time in front of their dorm, I inhale and exhale, fix my hair and even check my make up a couple of times while i'm on the lift. This is it, I will talk to him and this is the first time I will saw him after a couple of weeks. I enter the lock code and slowly open the door. The place is empty and I feel a bit down, what I heard earlier from unnie comes unwelcome to my mind again. He and Scarlet, but then I heard a stifle moan, coming from one of the rooms.
I stop, its from Seung Hyun's room and the moans is very familiar to me. My heart races as if its about to jump out of my chest, I walk slowly and quietly, the door of his room is left open slightly. I see him, with her, Scarlet. She's on top of him, both of them . My heart constricts, I can't breathe. Am I seeing it right? They both moan in unison as if they're enjoying every single bit of it. I tighten the grip on the box of the cake, I want to walk away but my feet are glued on the floor. I want to shut my eyes tightly but my eyes are glued to the both of them.
"Happy birthday baby." I heard Scarlet say.
"Thank you." He responds. "Thank you for staying with me."
"I'm more than happy to spend this day with you."
"Thank you." He said again in a hoarse voice. "I've missed you."
"Me too." She moans once again and start to move, up and down. They can't see me, Scarlet's back is facing me while she's blocking Seung Hyun's view. "I love you baby."
"I love you too baby." My mind went blank. It feels like the world collapse in front of me. He loves her, how about me?
I mindlessly place the cake somewhere and went straight to the door, I can't handle anything anymore. I want to go somewhere on my own, the pain is unbearable. When i'm on the lift I press the button to Marcus' unit, he still keeps the apartment and I still know the lock code. When I enter the unit I sit on the floor and stare at nothing, the scene earlier keeps replaying in front of me, the way he holds her, the way he caress her back, the way he say those three words hurts me the most. God! I'm so stupid why didn't I think about it that he and her are together again.
When he broke up with me it didn't even entered my mind that a girl is involved but then again my guts failed me. I stand up and went to the shower but before I can even reached my destination, I flopped myself on the bed. I close my eyes trying to dismiss the images of them on the bed. I love him so much but he decides to hurt me, my tears suddenly make an appearance for the first time and I didn't bother to wipe them away. I just hope by the end of this emotional breakdown i'm going to be fine.
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I hurriedly went out of the unit, I didn't realized I dozed off, Its almost midnight but i'm worried because there's a huge possibility that I might saw them on the basement parking lot or worst in the elevator so I decided to take the stairs. I don't care if i'm on the 17th floor besides i'm going down and thankfully not up. Its still the same, I think it worsen, everything is still in my mind like a math problem that I can't solve. I want to bang my head until it bleeds, until I lost consciousness but nothing will change, my heart is still bleeding.
"Noona!" I heard Daesung's voice then I see him with Suengri. I smile like nothing's wrong.
"What are you both doing here?" I asked them.
"We want to eat grilled eel." Maknae said. "Come with us noona. Have you seen hyung?"
"Okay. When I arrive the dorm is empty, he's in the villa right now. He's with his family so I decided to just surprise him tomorrow when he arrive in the apartment." I nod and smile. I set aside everything that's been bothering me since this morning. "Are they still open at this hour?"
"They're open for 24 hours noona so don't worry." Daesung smiles.
"Where's Jiyong and Youngbae?"
"YG." Daesung stutters.
"Midnight gym." Maknae adds.
"Okay. Let's go." I smile.
The dinner went well, I try my best to be okay and I succeeded. The three of us talk endlessly as if everything is okay. I'm thankful for their presence, i'm thankful that they asked me to eat out. Daesung is a little more talkative and loud but i'm very fine with that, he talks as if he didn't care that the other customers are staring in our table. I didn't mind, were not doing anything bad unlike Seung Hyun and Scarlet, well I really don't have the right to Seung Hyun, he broke up with me so technically he can be with anyone who he wants.
"Noona, we will drop you off to your apartment." Daesung insist.
"No need." I shake my head and smile.
"But its late noona."
"Me and Jin-hee will meet." I lied.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Just drop me off to the bus stop. I told her to just pick me up."
"Noona, we will just drop you off to Jin-hee's place." Daesung said.
"I'm fine." I smile again. "Oppa, stop the car to the next bus stop." I face Hyun Gon oppa.
"Okay." He simply said and after a few minutes of driving, I get off the car and wave them goodbye even though Daesung is still protesting.
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KANGIN'S POV
The group is very busy this past couple of weeks, we've been practicing for our comeback. I love my work but sometimes its really tiring plus tomorrow morning we will go to Thailand for a photo shoot so I decided to go in my apartment instead of staying in the dorm with the other members.
"Hyung, just pick me up tomorrow morning."
"Okay! Be ready, I don't want banging your apartment door at 10 in the morning."
"I will." I chuckle. "Just call me when you're about to go here."
"Okay. Take a rest now, I know you're tired."
"Thank you hyung."
I close the door and went straight to the kitchen making a sandwich because my stomach is kind of grumbling at the moment. I don't have time to cook some proper meal because I don't know how to and i'm too lazy to do all the chopping and preparing all the ingredients. While i'm munching the sandwich I made, I notice that my bedroom door is open. I'm sure I close it when I left a couple of days ago and I don't have a habit to forget the door open. I chew the remaining sandwich and walk to my room, I open the lights and scan the whole area. Everything seems to be in place, nothing is missing but.... the balcony sliding door is open.
"What the !" I startle when I peek my head to the balcony. "Gian?" My heart is pumping and not to mention I almost fainted when I see her.
"Hi! Did I startled you?" She said and drink something from the bottle.
"What are you doing here?" I said and sit beside her on the floor. "It's freaking 4 in the morning."
"Sitting. Drinking." She said. "You. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here because this is my apartment and not to mention you're trespassing."
"I know. I'm sorry. I just want to get away from everything for a moment." She drinks again then look at me. "I hope you don't mind."
"Do I have a choice?" I look at her, she laughs but her laugh is off, way off.
"Don't worry after this bottle i'm going home."
"Are you okay?" I asked but we both startled when we heard someone outside of the bedroom.
"Kangin-shhi." Its my manager.
"Sh*t!" I muttered. "Why the hell he's here again?" I quickly stand and look at Gian who giggles. "What's so funny?" I whisper.
"You're funny." She said. "I'm sorry I cause trouble."
"Just stay here okay, don't go out of this room." She nods to what I say and I went out to face my manager.
It turns out I forgot my phone in the van and my manager went back to my apartment just to give it back to me. I have a lot of things in my mind right now, i'm tired but my body become alive when my manager showed up. I found Gian on my balcony, sitting on the floor drinking liquor. I mean I don't care if she stays here but i'm worried what if i'm not the one who saw her in the balcony? What if one of the managers spotted her, what will I tell them?
"Okay my manager is gone." I said as I stand beside her. "Care to tell me what are you doing here?"
"I just want a different place, I mean i'm too bored in my own apartment." She explains and drink. "Promise I will go home after this."
"Wait! What's that?" I point something beside her. "2 empty bottles of vodka? Seriously Gian?"
"What's wrong?" She shrugged as if drinking 3 bottles of liquor is a normal thing to her.
"What's wrong?" I look at her. "What's your problem?" I cross my arms and look at her.
"Nothing." Shaking her head while looking straight at the buildings around my apartment. "I'm too tired, I just want to unwind."
"You unwind too much." I said.
"Because my schedule of work is too much."
"Why are you here alone? Where's Jin-hee?"
"I don't know." She said and gulp the remaining vodka in the bottle and wipe with her hand. "I'm busy and so is she."
"That's enough." I told her and she nods.
"Fine." She stands but tumbles down.
"You're drunk."
"I'm not. I will go home now." She stands again but the same result.
"I think you should rest first." I wrap my arms around her waist and help her walk back inside my room. "You should sleep first."
"I'm fine." She remove my arms around her and walk towards the door but after 3 steps she fell down on my bed.
"You're fine in that situation huh?" I smirk.
"Five minutes." She mumbles. "Just give me five minutes." And with that she fell asleep.
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I chuckle while looking at Gian who I think is about to faint, a couple of minutes ago Bigbang's main manager calls her just to tell that they will have a meeting at 7 in the morning. Time check... 7:30 AM. That's why she's freaking out right now, she didn't know what to do.
"If you wake me up after I passed out early this morning I won't be in a rush right now." She shouts from the bathroom.
"I literally shake you furiously when you passed out but you didn't move an inch." I shout back.
"You should woke me up when oppa called my phone earlier." She shout again. "I'm late." She goes out of the bathroom wearing the same clothes she wear early this morning.
"Blame it to your 'schedule'" I air quote. "You have too much work." I chuckle.
"I don't have time to go home, can I borrow some clothes?" She sighs. "Shirt maybe."
"Wait." I stand up and went to my walk in closet, I toss a plain white shirt to her. "Is that okay?"
"Yup. This will do. Thank you. and one more thing." She look at me.
"What?"
"Underwe*r."
"Here." I toss a boxer short.
"I can't wear this." She whines. "It's longer than the shorts i'm wearing." She toss it back at me.
"Here." I toss a new one, this time its a white boxer briefs.
"This will do thanks." She said and close the bathroom door. I went out of the bedroom and find something to eat, I still have another 30 minutes to spare before I take a shower.
"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" I say without looking when I hear the bedroom door open.
"I'm late." She said. I turn around, she's wearing my shirt and I bet she's wearing the boxer bri*f. Wearing her trench coat while walking to the door. "I have to go, have a safe flight. Don't worry i'll clean your unit when I got back from Italy." And with that she leave.
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It's past 8 when I arrive in YG, the security greets me and reminded me that i'm more than an hour late for the meeting. He smiles when he see that I make a sad face as if he's enjoying my tardiness. My head hurts, my stomach grumbles, my throat is dry as a dessert and on top of that i'm not wearing my own clothes. The shirt is way too big for me, the underwe*r i'm wearing is too tight as if my privates are suffocating. I want to go straight to the cafeteria to eat but I have a meeting to attend.
"God! Gian, where have you been?" Nikki shouts when I enter the meeting room, everybody are present. "Answer me!" And my head hurts like hell.
"Home." I simply said and sit beside Eun-ji unnie. "Why?"
"Home?" Her voice raise a few octaves high. "I've been there to your apartment a couple of hours ago."
"Stop shouting." I hiss. "I over slept." I scan the whole meeting room and I spot him immediately, the guy I love the most, his back is facing me. He's on the phone talking animatedly, laughing once in a while.
"I almost knocked down the door."
"I'm with Jin-hee till 4 in the morning." I said quietly, I suddenly felt like crying but I have to composed myself. At the corner of my eyes I saw Daesung staring at me as if he wants to tell me that every word that comes out of my mouth is a big fat lie.
"Next time tell me where are you going."
"She's all grown up now." Eun-ji unnie defends me. "For sure she's with her boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" Daesung shouts that everyone look at our direction.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Nikki asked me with a smug look in her face. "So?"
"What?." I asked..
"Kangin." Unnie said chuckling. "Her boyfriend is Kangin."
"Kangin? Super Junior, Kangin?" Nikki's nose is flaring with fire. "That Kangin?"
"Yes." Unnie nods.
"Why didn't I know that? Why you know that?"
"Everybody knows that." Unnie is mocking Nikki which is a very bad idea, then my phone rings. "See, it's Kangin." She points at my phone that is place on top of the table.
"Why?"
"There's a lot of dirty dishes in my apartment, clean it." He chuckles.
"After work."
"So how's the hangover? I thought after Italy?"
"Terrible." I mumble. "I'll go to your place after the meeting."
"Clean my apartment very well okay?"
"Fine.... I will"
"See, they're still together." I heard unnie said.
"God! Why didn't I know all of this?"
"I bet she stay in Kangin's place that's why she didn't open the door earlier while you're there."
"I didn't know we're still together." He chuckles, I bet he heard unnie and Nikki's conversation.
"Me neither." I sigh.
"Remember what I told you last night about the new lock code of the door?"
"I didn't remember that I passed out last night."
"Early this morning." He corrects me.
"She's even drunk last night." Unnie look at Nikki, laughing.
"I don't remember anything."
"062085."
"What's that?"
"New lock code."
"Okay." I said.
"We have to board now."
"Okay." I simply respond. "Bye"
"So is it true?" Nikki cross her arms over her chest. "Thank God! You're finally over with that ex-fiance of yours."
"Ex-fiance?" I jerk when Nam-gook oppa shouts. "Seriously?" I glare at Nikki, she can't keep shut.
"You're about to get married?" Unnie poke my shoulder but I didn't answer her. "Why aren't you even shocked?" She points at Youngbae and Daesung. "Even Jiyong, Seungri and Tabi?"
"They know it already." Nikki confessed. "I told them about her."
"I see." Unnie said. I stare at Nikki, i'm really pissed, why did she needs to bring up that subject again?
"The flight is tomorrow morning." Byung Hyung oppa suddenly speaks. "You can all go now if you don't have anything to do." I stand up and leave the building.
I went straight to Kangin's apartment and clean the whole place, its a welcoming distraction for me. I don't want to think about anything about him, I don't want to deal with it at all, I feel like I've been back to square one, back to where I start, back to the hell I came from. While cleaning I decided to open one of the liquor in Kangin's wine rack and there's a post it note that says. Hands off Gian! I want to laugh but I failed. He didn't glance at me, he didn't even acknowledge my presence as if i'm invisible to him. After cleaning and washing all the dirty clothes including the one i'm wearing and the clothes I left behind this morning, i'm drunk again with an empty stomach. I empty two bottles of I think vodka or gin, I don't care.
At night time, Kangin called me again I told him i'm still in his place cleaning even though i'm just sitting on the balcony floor, drinking and smoking. If you try, i'll try. If you stop, i'll stop. That's what I said when he told me to stop smoking. Good times! I smile bitterly as I place the stick in between my lips and light it. I told Kangin that i'm going to spend the night in his place before heading to my apartment to get my luggage. He say its fine but I need to read the post it note he left, I will just replace what I consume and he won't find out that I didn't follow his instructions. My body and mind are dead tired but I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes or even blink I saw him and her in the bed, both .
The morning came, I wash my face and grab my bag. Hail a cab and went back to my place. I just stuffed my suitcase with clothes, grab my passport and went to the airport, I don't want to scan the whole apartment, I didn't want to see anything, I didn't want to look at his apartment door either. When I arrive at the airport I spot the staff of YG and him but then again he treats me as if i'm nothing or someone he doesn't even know or someone who didn't exist in his world.
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