CHAPTER 38: A DREAM AND A GLIMPSE OF MY REALITY
Love
CHAPTER 38 A DREAM AND A GLIMPSE OF MY REALITY
Italy?
Why am I in Italy? I roam my eyes around the surrounding, i'm in Italy! But I don't remember anything about this trip and I think in my situation, this is the least place I want to visit. I'm in the hotel where me and Love stay every time we go here for vacation but then I stop, I saw myself standing in the corner of the lobby, busy doing something on my phone. Wait! Am I dead? I saw a guy approaching myself but I didn't notice it because my focus is in my phone, the guy bumped me and I got annoyed.
WAIT!
I'M DREAMING!
YES! IT'S A DREAM! THANK GOD, I'M NOT DEAD!
Then it hits me, this is the first time we've met, here in this hotel. He bumped me several times, at first I didn't even care but after a few times I shout and curse him. It's my vacation that time but I keep receiving emails from work, i'm a flight attendant. Me, Tori and Sasha. I have a couple of days off so I decided to go to Italy, I meet him and that's how it all started.
Then.... When I blink i'm in different place but still in Italy. I'm in a bar!
I'm in a bar, drinking all by myself. Enjoying my night alone here in Florence, Italy. Standing in a corner, I let my head bob to the beat of the music while sipping my gin and tonic then someone bumped into me.... again! I turn around and saw him... again.
"Sorry." He apologized then smile.
"You again?"
"You recognized me?" His smile widens.
"Who wouldn't? Aren't the space wide enough for you? I think I dislocated my shoulder."
"Sorry.Does it hurt?" He rubs my shoulder then slipped something in the back pocket of my jeans. I slap his hands and grab the thing in my pocket.
"I have my own phone." I said and hand him back his phone.
"I know." He smile again and I am lost for a moment. "I want you to save your number on my phone."
"What?"
"I'm asking for your number." He sighs cutely and wink at me. "Don't be st*pid."
"I'm not st*pid, you id*ot!"
"I know, please can I have your number?" He said like a 4 year old kid. "I'm Seung Hyun."
"So?"
"Choi Seung Hyun. What's your name?"
"Gian. Are you flirting with me?"
"No." He shakes his head. "I'm asking for your name and number."
"Why?"
"Because you caught my attention and I have a crush on you."
Then...
Everything becomes blurry as if I am in a time warp. I am in a plane, doing my job as a flight attendant. I saw myself in the business class with Tori and Sasha. I saw him again, he's one of the passengers, I can feel that he keeps glancing on me, he keeps calling me for assistance, asking non-sense questions but I have to do my job, the plane is bound to Seoul from Italy. And before the plane touches down Incheon Airport I finally gave him my number.
Time warp again....
I saw myself inside the hotel suite with Love, flower petals everywhere. He's dashing, very handsome. I can't take my eyes off to myself and to Love who is standing a few feet away from me, we're so happy that time, i'm in cloud nine, he ask me to marry him, we ate dinner together and made love, he even engrave our initials on the bedpost. That was the best night of my life, the happiness in me over flows and I can wait for our wedding but......
Time warp again... and I want to wake up!
The church is empty, I've been staring at nothing. He didn't come to our wedding. Didn't even leave a note or a text explaining what went wrong, I feel so confused and hurt. Months past by, I quit my job as a flight attendant. I travel to all the country that we didn't have the chance to visit, I thought I will forget him but i'm wrong. I apply to different jobs but ended up resigning after a few months, I can't find my own and old self, in the morning when a lot of people surrounds me I feel normal and act normal but at night when i'm all alone I went to all the bars I know, I drink, got drunk and get laid with different guys I randomly met.
Time warp...
The balloons that hang in the ceiling in our room in Dolce Vita are very beautiful, different color, different sizes and different shapes. Love really steps up a notch. I didn't expect that we will be together after 6 long years but here we are together again. He told me every single balloon contains a note so before we go back to Seoul, Seungri and Daesung hep me to pop all the balloons.
Love,
I've never see this coming, I never thought that we will be together again. I never thought that you will forgive me with what I've done a couple of years ago. I got scared and decided not to show up in our wedding, I know I cause you a lot of pain. Please forgive me. I know I don't deserve you, I don't deserve a second chance but here you are, accepting me in your life again with open arms. I love you, nothing change.
I won't promise you that everything will be smooth with our relationship but I won't do anything to jeopardize what we have. I know I have a lot of things to explain to you but you said that everything will be fine and I trust you, we will be fine, we will be okay. I love you... I love you... I love you...
That's the last note, I can still remember it by heart.
Everything becomes blurry again... Why am I dreaming this kind of stuffs? How am I supposed to forget?
"Jin hee?" I saw myself, going out of the apartment with two suitcases in both hands.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"Can I ask for a favor?"
"Sure!" She said but frown when she saw the suitcases. "What happen?"
"I'm leaving." I said.
"Why?"
"I really can't tell you why. I just need to go somewhere else, tomorrow morning is my flight."
"Where?"
"Somewhere."
"Is this about him?" She asked. "About Love?"
"How did you know?"
"Marcus." She stops. "Don't get mad at him, he told me about the time he came to your apartment and saw a bunch of pictures of you and Seung Hyun plus the engagement ring."
"Yah! It's about him." I smile bitterly. "He asked me for a favor and i'm granting it."
"He ask you to leave?" She look at me with shocked expression.
"Can we talk something else?"
"You can spend the night in my place, I just came back from Japan."
"Can we just go to a bar or club."
"Sure! Let me help you with one of your suitcases. Good thing I went here."
I feel pain everywhere as I saw myself in that kind of situation. When I came back from Italy, I don't know what will I do, part of me wants to stay and try to work things out between me and love but another part of me wants to pleased him with what he wants. He doesn't love me, he never loved me. Why didn't I see that coming, when we got back together I thought everything will be fine. I didn't asked him to explain what happen to the past because all that matters is the present and future.
Time warp....
Where am I? Bar? Again? I saw myself in the bar, drinking shot after shot. I'm definitely not in Italy but where? I stare at myself, I feel sorry for myself, I've been in this kind of situation for many years then heaven open up but then again i'm in hell right now. The pain is unbearable, i'm in excruciating pain now. All I want is to love and be loved, I found him but it never work out, from the first time until the end all of it is a big fat lie. Should I be mad? I want to be mad but I can't, I want to take revenge but I still love him. I walk and take a sit beside my drunken self, I look at her and sigh, this has to end.
"Stop ruining our lives." I said quietly and face myself.
"He ruin us." My drunken self says.
"And if we don't stop we will die."
"We still love him." She stares at me. "Don't we?"
"But he doesn't love us." I said and its weird to talk to myself, in a dream like this.
"But we can try." My drunken self stutters. "We did it before, he came back to us. I can feel it he loves us, I know you can feel it."
"But its all a lie." I sigh. "Remember what he said while were in Italy? He said he didn't love us."
"He loves us." Myself shouts.
"That's not what he told us." I said. We both stop when the place suddenly shakes, like an earthquake. "Let's just forget him."
"I can't." She sobs. "We can't."
"But we have to." I close my eyes, "Let's just stop loving him."
"How? How can we stop loving him?" The bottles starts to fly everywhere, the glasses are starting to crushed on the floor.
"We have to, we have a new life now."
"I know but half of us still longs for him."
"Yes that's true." I smile. "I think that won't change but its for our own good, we have to stop loving him." The whole place is about to collapsed. I need to stop this. "We have to help ourselves to forget him."
"Will we be okay?"
"Yes we will." I smile bitterly. "No one will help us."
"Okay!" My drunken self smile. "Let's start a new life." She grab a bottle and raise it. "To our new life." She drinks it and everything went black.
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"Mommy!"
"Mommy!"
"Mommy! Wake up." I heard a little girls' voice and she's shaking me furiously. "Mommmmmmmmmmmmmy!!!!!!!!"
"Hmmmmmmm" I moan and open my eyes. I smile at her. She's perfect.
"Good Morning Mommy!" She said excitedly.
"Good Morning my princess." I kiss her tiny hand and caress her cheeks.
"Happy Birthday Mommy!"
"Thank you baby." I sit up and rub my eyes.
"Me and Daddy make breakfast for you." She said happily. "Breakfast in bed."
"Really? What did you and Daddy cook for me?"
"Its a secret." She giggles and sit beside me. "Daddy!" She shouts. "Daddy! Hurry up! Mommy's awake."
"If I walk fast the juice will spill from the glass." We heard her Dad said then after a few seconds we saw him enter the room.
"Hurry up Daddy."
"Stop pressuring me."
"I'm hungry Daddy."
"But the breakfast is for Mommy."
"I know, we can all share. Right Mommy?"
"Of course baby." I kiss her forehead. Her Daddy put the tray on top of the bed and sit beside our princess.
"Mommy, we made pancakes, bacon, eggs then I toast some bread and make orange juice."
"Thank you." I smile.
"I prepare the entire breakfast, you just sat on the couch and watch cartoons."
"Daddy stop." She pouts. "Let's eat."
"Okay!" I said.
"Daddy greet Mommy."
"Happy Birthday." He smiles.
"Thank you."
"Kiss Mommy." He kisses me on the cheek. "Mommy, I made you a card."
"Wow." I smile. "Its beautiful."
"Look Mommy, I draw this." She said. Its a house then three people holding each others hand. "Daddy help me with the spelling because I don't know how to spell our names."
"Really? You're so sweet." I said. "I love you."
"I love you too Mommy. I love you Daddy." She kisses both of us on the cheek. "Look Mommy." She points at the drawing. "This is Mommy Gian, Baby Zoey and Daddy Marcus." She giggles and hug us both tightly.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: (Let me refresh your memories)
The previous chapter made everyone confused, I know it's a good thing because no one see it coming, all of you thinks that Love is a different person but I receive a lot of 'confused' comments, so i decide to refresh your memories.
There's a lot of hints in the entire story that Love and Seung Hyun is the same. Let me enumerate some of it:
*Suengri's recation when he saw Gian with Manager Lee and Jiyong's reaction when he found out that Gian is in their dorm. (Gian being the new assistant manager)
*The way Gian and Sueng Hyun react with each other when they first met in YG building.
*Seung Hyun's way of getting even with Gian when he got jealous. (e.i When Marcus appears in the elevator, Seung Hyun decides to go to Scarlet's place and make out with her in front of Gian and the rest of the members.) Do you remember that chapter?
*What Daesung said when he gave Gian his birthday gift. (Proof that they know each other)
*The way the four guys reacted when Nikki say that Gian's ex-fiance is a 'er'
*The fight between them in Gian's apartment and when Seung Hyun said that 'he is not just a random guy'
And so on.....
Did it help? I hope you still find the story interesting. Thank you again for supporting my fanfics. Don't forget to leave a comment. Good night.
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