a/n: are you ready for the angst? Well I am so please don't kill me just yet.. or else I won't give Myunggyu a happy ending.

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Reality bites apparently and Sunggyu wasn't sure on what to do with the situation in his hands. For sure he wanted Myungsoo to stay, he may not confess it but Myungsoo has been part of his life; the food he makes was part of it. Yet there was this gnawing feeling inside that he shouldn't take the risk at a new relationship which could only lead to heartaches like the previous ones that he had.

“Something bothering you?” Woohyun asked as he entered his office where Sunggyu has been sitting for a while.

“I'm just confused.” Sunggyu replied and Woohyun smiled at him as he took his seat.

'Why don't you tell me then?” Woohyun said and Sunggyu sighed before he confided to Woohyun the worries he had and the fears that probably are stopping him from being able to completely let himself love the younger. “Myungsoo huh?” Woohyun uttered as he jot down on his notepad.

“I'm just afraid that it will happen again.” Sunggyu confessed and Woohyun nodded.

'You don't have to force yourself Sunggyu.” Woohyun said and Sunggyu sighed at that.

'that's my problem, he'll leave in a month's time.” He stated as he closed his eyes in frustration and ran a tired hand on his face, effectively missing the smirk on the doctor's face.

“Why don't we go out for a drink Sunggyu, it's been a lonng time.” Woohyun suggested and Sunggyu looked at the doctor then nodded, perhaps a little alcohol would make him think better.

---

“Myungsoo!” Sungyeol called out and the said boy waved at him. “Hey, the grad party is later, you are not going to miss it are you?” Sungyeol asked and Myungsoo smiled at him.

“I'm coming okay.' He replied then bid goodbye to go home and change clothes.

The apartment was empty and Myungsoo sighed in relief as he took a quick shower and grabbed some decent looking shirt and skinny jeans before stling his hair casually and dashing off towards the place they were supposed to have the graduation party.

Apparently, the school council had decided that the students were all legal enough to have a few drinks such that the place they chose was actually a decent bar 3 blocks from their school. He entered and scanned for familiar faces and smiled as he found the twins. He moved his way towards them and he flinched as he saw the sight of Sungjong locking lips with Howon.

“Good Lord you're here! I can't stand these guys.” Sungyeol exclaimed as he dragged Myungsoo towards the bar and order some drinks.

The bartender served them the cocktails, half the alcohol content as per instructions of the school principal. The two made a toast to their impending graduation and drank the drinks in one shot. The two laughed and ordered another one before proceeding to the dance floor to let loose and maybe snag some girls (or guys) to flirt with.

Myungsoo was feeling light headed as he kept on drinking while the music blasted and he flirted with a few people of different genders. He was happy, so to speak as he let the worries slip from his mind and enjoy the intoxicating sights, sounds and smell of seniors enjoying their graduation party.

Woohyun led Sunggyu towards the bar while they evaded teens who were easily getting drunk and were being silly to the point of being shameless. Sunggyu cringed at the sight of teens making out and dancing (rubbing their bodies togehter was the right term) while the latest boy group song was blasting from the speakers.

“And I though we'll be drinking at a reputable bar.” Sunggyu shouted and Woohyun grinned at him.

“You won't enjoy alcohol in a drab place, this is night life Gyu, enjoy youth as you please.” Woohyun replied and Sunggyu was sure to check his friend's sanity as he figured the psychiatric part of his job has gotten to his brain.

Sunggyu searched the place and he was getting sick with the feeling of people around him that it was really suffocating him. He took one last scan when his eyes landed on a certain mail almost kissing a girl who was utterly flinging herself to the teen. Sunggyu held his glass tightly and Woohyun was smirking as he watched the friend stare at the object of his affection.

'Myungsoo.” the name slipped from his mouth and made the grin on Woohyun's face wider.

Sunggyu then placed the glass on the bar and walked towards the teen in the middle of the dance floor. He pushed the girl off of the teen and pulled him out of the place in a blink of an eye.

'Stop! Let me go!” Myungsoo was shouting but Sunggyu held him tightly, his body was consumed with anger. 'I said let me go!” Myungsoo managed to free himself and Sunggyu faced the younger. He could tell that Myungsoo was drunk and he needed to get him home.

“Let's go home.” Sunggyu said and Myungsoo scoffed at him.

'Who are you to tell me what to do?” The younger asked and Sunggyu was taken aback, Myungsoo never talked back to him. “You don't own me. FYI, you are nothing but an old man i needed to keep company.” Myungsoo stated and his words stabbed Sunggyu's heart deeply. “I can drink all i want and I can even if I want, you said it yourself.” He finished and started walking (with difficulty) back to the dance floor.

“You're right, i am no one. Like i said, go ahead and waste yourself, just don't go home in that state.” Sunggyu said and then turned to leave the place.

Myungsoo did not watch the retreating back of the elder as he made his way back to the bar to grab a drink. He then down it in one go then left the place, missing the smirking doctor who watched the scene with eagle eyes and delighted that it was better than what he had expected.

Myungsoo walked with uneasy steps. He didn't expect Sunggyu to appear out of nowhere, and he didn't really expect himself to talk back to his sunbae. He was drunk and happens, he's sure of that. He felt his tears forming on the side of his eyes but he tried to hold them in. He stumbled once or twice and scraped his knee but he brushed it off and continued ot walk, maybe it will make him a bit sober to face his sunbae when he reaches home in a couple minutes. Maybe.

Sunggyu was frustrated that he threw the first thing that he could reach, which was unfortunantely the vase by the door. It broke into pieces but hell he cared. He took a step barefoot and a few shards pierced his sole but he didn't care, he was too focused on his heart to think of his bloody feet. He sat on the white couch an faced the wall, tears silently falling from his eyes; he was beyond hurt.

He let the tears spill as small pools of blood formed beneath his feet, still he did not care. He sat there, recalling Myungsoo's face, how his lips almost touched the girl's skin and how he talked back like he was never a part of his life.

He wanted to take a knife and plunged it deep into his heart, mind you he had done it a couple of times in the past.

“Myungsoo.” He uttered as he fisted his shirt, trying to lessen the pain the younger had caused. “Why?” He asked the empty room and broke down. Why was he even this emotional when he knew the younger was right? He wasn't sure himself so he cried.

After a few more stumbles and added scraped elbow, Myungsoo was able to climb up to their floor and walked to the front door. He sadly eyed the door and sighed as he turned his back and sat down on the floor, his back flushed on the cold metal door while his head was hung low.

He let out the tears that he cant hold anymore, crying for the reason he was yet to fathom. He never really knew why he was this emotional, he had the right to flirt, he wasnt even dating Sunggyu. He took in a deep breath as the cold wind from the open window of their building blew but it only gave him fresh tears that seemed to have no end.

“Sunggyu-nim.” He uttered, a hiccup followed shortly and he drew his knees towards his chest and wrapped his arms around them as he lowered his head on his knees. The tears soaked his jeans, stinging the wound underneath but he didn't flinch, he deserve more pain after what he did to his sunbae.

He stayed there, crying tears that never ceased, and his heart was wrenched and tattered by his own doing. He can still recall Sunggyu's face, the hurt expression mixed with anger, it was too much to bear.

But they were never an item and Sunggyu had never confirmed anything other than having some sort of feelings for him and that they should take it slow. But why was he hurting so much?

And as if time stood still, the two were frozen in their place, Sunggyu sitting on his couch staring blankly while Myungsoo sat outside, hugging his knees. The sun rose already and Myungsoo collected himself as he stood with difficulty. He arranged his clothes a bit and then proceeded to enter the apartment.

Sunggyu heard the door click and he knew who it was, he wanted to turn his head and look at the figure but his mind had filed a coup de etat from his heart and controlled his body to stay still. He composed himself, trying not to make it obvious that he waited for the younger, he had to be strong to face his nightmare.

The first thing that Myungsoo noticed was the shards of broken china and the blood stains on the floor. He was a bit sober by now and he knew whose blood it was. He stumbled slightly as he tried to avoid the broken china and walked towards the living room where he saw the elder sitting while staring blankly on the white wall.

His eyes drop to the elder's feet and was wide eyed at the bloodied body part. He walked towards one of the cabinet and grabbed the first aid kit before walking towards the elder and kneeling in front of him. Myungsoo winced in pain as his scraped knee touched the foor, but he dismissed the pain as he was clearly sure his sunbae was in far worse pain that he is.

He took one foot and examined the cut, the touch jolted Sunggyu as he tried to get away from the younger. “you are hurt.” Myungsoo stated without looking at Sunggyu. The older was teary eyed as he watched Myungsoo examine the foot and took a pair of tweezers and pulled a lodge piece of shard from his foot. “This will sting.” Myungsoo informed him as he took some tissue to wipe the excess blood and then took a cotton ball drenched in antiseptic.

Sunggyu hissed as the pain ran through his body, that was far worse than he predicted. Myungsoo continued to clean the wound and eventually dressing it up in bandage. He then took the other foor and did the same thing. Sunggyu couldn't understand why the younger was suddenly concerned with his injured foot because a few hours ago, they were just in an argument that ripped his sanity away from him.

“It's all done.” Myungsoo announced and he took the wastes he had used to throw.

When he stood, however, Sunggyu noticed the torn jeans and the scraped elbow of the younger. Just as Myungsoo walked away from him, he grabbed the younger's wrist and pulled him towards him and made him sit on the couch next to him.

He took a cotton ball and soaked it in antiseptic before dabbing it on the younger's elbow. Myungsoo hissed in pain as the liquid cleansed his wound. “Where were you last night?” Sunggyu asked as he placed the bandage on the wound.

“You didn't want a drunk person inside the house so i stayed out.” came the reply and Sunggyu sighed as he motioned for the younger to lift his knees.

“I don't.” Sunggyu replied as he took surgical scissors and ripped the jeans open, much to the dismay of Myungsoo. “It's already ripped okay.” Sunggyu uttered and Myungsoo pouted, it was his favorite after all.

Sunggyu then treated the would carefully and gave the younger a small smile. “It's all done, thank you for treating my wounds.” He said and Myungsoo bowed at him.

“I'm sorry sunbae.” Myungsoo said, tears threatening to fall.

Sunggyu then sighed before placing his hand on the younger's cheek, carrasing the sof skin of the younger before he leaned in and took the younger's lips on his. Myungsoo wasn't sure if it was the remnants of alcohol or what but he kissed back and by the time they parted, he was sure his decision would hurt both of them for good.

“i'm really sorry.” Myungsoo uttered and Sunggyu gave him a peck on the cheek.

“I trust you.” He replied, staring back at the dark orbs of the younger like a laser light locked on its target.

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a/n: hmm not as angsty as i would have liked because they kind of made up towards the end. But uhm well, next chapter won't be rated if anyone's asking~ why? Because it's too damn soon.

And nope this will not be mpreg ~ just saying.