[LEA’S POV]

“Are you sure about this?” asked GD with a concerned voice.

I sighed and nodded my head as I continued packing my clothes. I tried my best to be strong. I tried my best to control my emotions. I really did. GD came closer to give me a hug, and that was when I broke down. I cried my heart out in his arms and his grip got even tighter.  He didn’t say anything but I knew that he was really worried for me. After all, he is my cousin, my family.

“Let’s go.” GD picked up my luggage and gave me a weak yet caring smile.

We were about to get into his car when Hae Jung and Lay stopped us. “Where are you going?” asked Hae Jung with a very confused face, her eyes on my luggage.

“I’ll let you guys talk for a while.” GD tapped my shoulder softly and went to put my luggage into the trunk of his car.

Hae Jung and Lay were still looking at me, giving their where-the-hell-are-you-going face. “Something happened. I need to go back to the States for a while.” I took one long breath before continuing. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I’ll be back as soon as possible. But I’m sorry, I’m afraid that I won’t make it to your fashion show.” I added before letting out another sigh.

“Silly, you don’t need to be sorry. Whatever it is, I hope you’ll stay strong, alright? You can always call me if you need someone to talk to.” Hae Jung hugged me tightly and tears started to fill my eyes again.

“But-” I paused for a moment and Hae Jung took a step back to look at my face. “Please don’t tell Yongguk about this. I don’t want him to worry about me. He needs to focus on their album. The boys need him more than I do now.” I continued with a weak voice.

“Are you sure? Don’t you think he deserves a little explanation? Don’t you think that he’ll worry even more not knowing anything?” as much as I wanted to deny everything, I knew deep in my heart that Hae Jung was right, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell Yongguk about it, at least not yet.

“We should go or we’ll miss our flight.” GD suddenly interrupted the, somewhat, awkward atmosphere. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her.” he added and opened the car door for me to get in.

“Lay, take care of my best friend, alright? I’ll kill you if you ever hurt her feelings. And I mean it!” I said firmly one last time before getting into the car.

GD talked to Hae Jung for a while before we left. I guess he was just trying to assure her that he would take care of me while we’re gone and whatnot. The long ride from my apartment to the airport was quiet, and so was the entire journey to the States. I tried not to think about anything, so I put my headphones on and just listened to some music. Well, mostly B.A.P’s music. I guess I’ve already started missing Yongguk.

After several hours, we finally reached our destination. I took a deep breath as soon as I stepped out of the plane, trying to feel the American breeze. It’s been five years since I last stepped my feet on this ground. Everything still seemed normal, nothing much has changed. My aunt and another cousin welcomed us at the airport. She gave me a hug and I could feel that she was trying her best not to cry. “How are you? We’ve really missed you.” she said with a shaky voice.

“I’m doing good. I’ve missed everyone too.” I replied with a weak smile.

“Let’s go home and get you to settle down first.” she said as she grabbed my luggage from GD’s hand.

“No.” I cried, surprising everyone including GD. “I want to go straight to the hospital. I need to see her now.” I continued.

Everyone stopped walking and all eyes were on me. I could see from their faces that they were shocked, as well as worried. “I’ll be fine.” I said to them with a very convincing tone.

[NARRATOR]

Lea looked at her mom, lying unconsciously on the hospital bed, and her heart began to ache. The pain was just too much for her. She couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard she tried not to. She might come off as a strong woman but she’s actually very weak inside. She’s been hiding this side of hers for a very long time. It’s one of the main reasons why she left America in the first place. She needed time; she needed some space to gather her emotions, her strength.

“She’s not going to make it, is she?” Lea asked GD, who was standing beside her.

GD, who has known Lea since they were little and everything that she has gone through while growing up, felt really sorry for his cousin. He wanted to lie to her and tell her everything’s going to be okay, but he just couldn’t. He sighed and hugged Lea tightly. “Whatever happens, please promise me one thing.” he said as he pulled Lea away from the hug only to look her in the eyes. “Promise me that you will never blame yourself ever again.” he continued, his eyes still looking at Lea’s, waiting for an answer.

Lea just looked down on her feet, trying to hide her tears. “Kwon Hee Yeon!” GD said loudly while shaking her shoulders to get her back to her senses. “Promise me that you won’t blame yourself, you silly girl!” he said again.

“I promise.” Lea finally managed to answer him with a weak voice and GD pulled her into a hug again.

“Come, let’s go home. You need to rest for a bit.” GD’s suggestion was, however, rejected.

“I think I want to stay here, by her side.” said Lea as she sat down by her mother’s bed. “I’ve been gone long enough. I just want to be with her.” she continued while caressing her mother’s weary hand.

“Okay, then. I’ll come back late and bring you some food.” GD replied and kissed her forehead before he left.

Lea just sat quietly by her mother’s side, caressing her hand, what’s left of her hair, her bony cheeks. Memories started to flood her mind, both good and bad. She leaned her head down onto her mother’s hand she was holding and started crying once again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I left you all alone.” she sobbed.

Suddenly, Lea felt something touching her hair. She looked up and to her surprise, it was her mother. She was awake but was still very weak. “Doctor!” Lea cried as loud as she could.

“Mom, are you okay? How are you feeling? I’m here now, mom. I’m here now. I’m sorry.” Lea started to sob again but her mother was not replying.

Instead, she just looked at her daughter with a pair of sad yet very happy eyes. She really wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, she has forgiven her a long time ago, that she missed her, that she loved her, but she was just too weak to speak. She tried moving her weak arm one more time and slightly touched Lea’s cheek and smiled. Lea grabbed and held onto her mother’s hand tightly but suddenly, something happened. Something really bad. Her mother’s heart stopped beating, and so was her pulse. Lea’s eyes widened when she saw straight lines on the machine next to the bed.

“I’m sorry, miss. But you have to step outside for a moment. We’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” said one of the nurses as she guided Lea outside to the waiting area.

Lea immediately called GD and fortunately, he wasn’t that far from the hospital yet and so he headed back as soon as he got the call. Lea paced back and forth nervously, waiting for the worst. And the worst did happen. The doctor came out several minutes later with a straight face. He paused for a while. “I’m sorry but we couldn’t bring her back.” he simply said and tapped her shoulder sympathetically.

Lea fell down on the ground but she wasn’t crying. She just stared at the empty, white hospital wall, still trying to grasp everything that just happened. “Miss, are you okay?” asked the doctor with a concerned voice, but Lea just kept quiet.

GD finally arrived and immediately hugged Lea when he saw her sitting on the ground, lifelessly. “She’s gone, Jiyong-ah. She’s gone. She left me. Just like what appa did. Just like what Soo Yeon did. And it’s all my fault.” She said weakly and tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.

“Ya! Didn’t you promise me that you wouldn’t blame yourself? Pabo ya! It’s not your fault!” GD, too, was crying as he hugged her and rocked her back and forth to comfort her.

[GROUP CHAT]

Yongguk: Hae Jung-ah…

Hae Jung: Yes?

Yongguk: Have you heard anything from Lea noona?

Hae Jung: [silence]

Yongguk: ???

Hae Jung: Umm… nope.

Yongguk: Liar! You’re such a bad liar, do you know that?

Hae Jung: She’s fine, Yongguk. Don’t worry too much about her. Just focus on the album for now.

Yongguk: Why is everyone keeping a secret from me?!! Ugh!!!

Hae Jung: I’m sorry but Lea made me promise not to tell anyone.

Yongguk: Whatever!

Hae Jung: That’s it! I can’t do this anymore! Let’s meet up and talk.

Yongguk: And you’ll tell me everything?

Hae Jung: Yes! I love you both and I just can’t stand watching the two of you suffer like this. It’s driving me insane!

Yongguk: Ok, then. Usual place, tonight. You can bring Lay if you want to.

Hae Jung: Alright. See you later, then.

To be continued...

A/N: OMG! I know it's a sad one and it's gonna be even more sad in the next chapter so stay tuned! T_T There 2 more chapters left! 2 MORE! For real, this time. Lol. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Upvote, subscribe and comment! Thank you ^^