the nightmare
My Handsome HousemateJiyong's POV
Two years later...
Since last three months. I have this habit of not letting Hyeri slept alone again. Even when I have to stay out the country for several days for some seminars and meeting, I try my best to come back early. I know how well she would behave if I try to bring the topic of her family and any arguments will be impractical against her. At the end of the day, again and again she will and always stay alone, for her excuses are always favorable towards winning.
For one of the senior architect in the company, she is incredibly disorganized when she’s working on drawing the plan. It drives me bat crazy, so I fix the problem by setting up a filing system for her loose papers and projects sheet. I loved doing things like that but hey, Im not ODC to make things clear.
Any other issues I have with her is her sudden testiness. I don’t know what her problem is with me putting on my favourite perfumes on my own body. Even deodorant would cost the smile on her face. She said she likes my natural body odor which I reply ‘bull’ silently in my mind. Sometimes I wear it without her knowledge but when she finds out about it, she keeps the distance away from me. My mom said maybe it is because her temporary allergic due to her pregnancy and it will wear off when time comes. With that solely reason, I lose again to Hyeri. Zero to infinity.
Aside from working on her new project, the week passes in a blur of ual activities: office, kitchen, couch, bedroom, the end result is always the same- Hyeri , me inside her. But getting there is always an adventure, partly because her choice of underwear never ceased to amuse or arouse me. She has sometimes unmatched underwear which doesn’t portray her personalities much. To think about it, Hyeri sometimes doesn’t even wear any make-up to the office. It’s not that she’s lacking in natural beauty but sometimes I just wish she could recognize her laziness in keeping herself in check. On Saturday she comes out of the bedroom in red satin with black polka dots. Her hair in a ponytail, she looks like a pinup girl. We do not make it past the couch. After she falls asleep, I slip into my personal office to finish never-ending work on the desk.
On Sunday I change it up and take Hyeri late-night grocery shopping, because we realize there is no decent food in our house. She has terrible eating havits now, unless one counted iceberg lettuce as a healthy choice. I inform her that she has to eat high nutritional value of food, to make the baby and her in good condition. She respons with an eye-roll and traipse down the cereal aisle where she picks up a box of Cap’n Crunch. She points out all the essential vitamins and minerals in a serving when I about that, too. Why would she eat a cereal that tore apart the inside of is beyond me. I make her promise not to eat it or anything instant anymore.
On Tuesday night Hyeri has one of those nightmare she is used to have every now and then. I am so shocked when she has that because her nightmare seems disappearing lately and I don’t know what makes it to come back. She always has this scary wailing and shouting and sometimes she would hit herself on her chest when we first marry. Well, that was years ago and it only came on and went off after some times. The last time she had bad nightmares was when I tried to leave her two years ago. She had gone crazy in her sleep and she would only settle down when I wrap my arms around her. At times when it comes back, Hyeri would flail restlessly and then cuddle right into me, like she couldn’t go close enough.
On Thursday, her nightmare visits her again unless tonight it is worse, much worse. The whimper she has almost terrified me. I roll over and put my arm around her. Three days having the same nightmare, it seems worked on her, but not tonight.
“It’s okay, I’m here,” I mumble and kiss her hair, still in the warm balm of mostly sleep. It doesn’t last long, though. She starts to thrash, pushing away from me, and the whimpers becomes louder, more despondent. That is new. I let go of her to find her eyes are open, but it doesn’t seem like she is really seeing me. Locked inside the nightmare, she backs away until she hits the headboard, which she immediately starts to scale, clawing it like she is trying to escape. The frame is wrought iron and feminine with all these curlicues and pointy ends. She is pregnant our four-month-old baby, and I am worried she is going to hurt herself and the baby as well.
“Come on, Hyeri, wake up, you’re having a bad dream.” I pry her hands off the frame. It takes more effort than I expect.
All of sudden, she sits up, eyes scanning the room until they come to rest on me. She is awake, no longer looking through me but at me. Her fingers drift unsteadily over my cheek and across my jaw. “Jiyong?”
“I’m right here. It was just a dream. You’re okay.” I put hands over her and kissed her palm, drawing her closer.
“I thought…” She looks so confused, then her eyes fills with tears. “You’re gone. Everybody is gone.”
“Who’s gone, babe?”
Hyeri scrambles into my lap and throws her arms around me, her body shaking so hard that her teeth chatters. I could feel her tears on my neck as she burrows in. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles into my chest as she hiccups.
“shhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.” I her hair back. Her skin is damp with sweat. I pull the covers over us and pile up the pillows behind me so I am half sitting with her in my lap.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” she moans, her arms tightnening around my neck.
“Go? Where would I go?” I kiss her in her temple and shift her around. She holds on hard, her face buries agains my neck.
“Hyeri?” When she doesn’t reply, I try again. “Hyeri, look at me.” I urge her head up until her eyes lift. “Nightmares won’t take me away from you, okay?”
More tears slide down her cheeks. “I love you, Jiyong. I don’t want you leave me.”
I kiss her softly. “That’s good. I don’t want it either.”
Eventually, her breathing evens out and her body relaxes, arm loosening but not letting go. She is almost lying on top of me in her bid to get as close as possible. It takes me a long time to fall back asleep. The painful scream and her words keep replaying in my head. I want to know what exactly happen in her dream because I know, Hyeri is so much fragile than she looks. Her painful memory when she’s still young keeps taunting her mercilessly and I calculate the solution in my mind how to make her better.
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