Emma's POV

Flashback:

I ran through the woods behind my house to the gym. Tears flowed freely down my face, and I blinked furiously to keep them out of my eyes so I could see. I had already fallen three times, but the stinging in my knees and palms only fuled the rage that was slowly building in my stomache. I kept thinking about him. Him and that girl!

A loud sob escaped my lips and wreaked havoc on my breathing. I collapsed to the ground as I fought for breath through my dry heaves and tears. An ache, slow and steady and dull, was working its way through my chest, and it throbbed with each beat of my heart. I can't belive I'm letting this get to me! I shouldn't be acting like this! I'm Emma, I've put up with guys being all my life, why should this one being a hurt so much?

I know why. I know why, and I hate myself for it. Kevin has been my friend for way to long for me to just like him. No, I love him. And I hate myself even more. Loving people makes it so much easier for them to stab you in the back. As today proved.

I remember walking into my homeroom, looking for Mr. Parker. I opened the door, and saw Kevin slowly apporach the girl. She was blushing like mad, and avoided meeting Kevin's eyes. Kevin placed his fingers under her chin, and made her look at him. I saw his cheeks move, and I knew he was smiling at her. Then he leaned in, and kissed her. For a few seconds it was all him. He was trying so hard to get her to kiss back, his hands were moving all over her body. And finally, she did.

And I just stood there. I stood there, and watched the two of them kiss, stood there and watched my friend slowly destroy my heart. I had so many questions. I wanted to just barge in, destroy their moment, their happiness, and demand to know why. Why would you do this to me? Why does she mean more to you than me? Why don't you love me? Do I mean nothing to you? All those questions, bumping and running and tumbling over each other in my head. I also wanted to curl up in a little ball on the floor, and bawl my eyes out.

But I it all up. I in my gut, puffed out my chest, standing tall and proud, like I have been my whole life. Then I closed the door, and walked as calmly as possible out of the building. Then I ran to the bus stop, the tears almost making it onto my cheeks. I held them in. I held them in all through the bus ride, the driver's concerned face, and the five minute walk from the destination bus stop to my house. I cried as soon as my feet crossed the threshold.

I wanted to change out of my clothes, they were too tight, they felt suffocating. But I couldn't make myself walk upstairs. I plowed through the house to the back door, and then out to the back woods. Screw my clothes.

I know I have to be close to the gym by now. I gotta be! I need to hit something! I trip over a big root, and down I go, yet again. I stay down. I don't feel like getting up. What's the mother-effing point? I still want to hurt something though. Bad. I think, randomly, out of the blue, of that Whack Your Ex game I have on my phone. It's amusing. Maybe it'll help. Just pretend it's Kevin's face, and it will all be good. Right?

I roll over, feeling my pockets for my phone, finding nothing. I roll over again onto my stomach, feeling my back pockets. Also no phone. I deflate. Literally. I can feel my body shrinking, like all the air's been let out of me. I feel so tired... I can also feel the wave of self-pity starting to tower over me. And as much as I enjoy a good pity session, a missing phone takes precident.

Pulling myself to my feet, I turn around, and scan the brown ground for my phone. I figure it fell out of my pocket one of the times I fell. It doesn't take long to find it. I only had to walk less than a couple of yards. What took a while was trying to pick it up. I wasn't physically impaired enough to have difficulty bending over and picking up the little peice of plastic. It was some emotional thing. I kept worrying about Kevin texting me, or worse, Billy, asking why I wasn't there for him to pick up. What was wrong? He'd ask, sounding so caring. I'd answer him immidietly, and then all sorts of drama would start up.

I finally work up enough strength for the simple button press that woke up my phone. I see three messages. One is from Kevin, asking me what's up. The other two are from Billy, asking me exactly what I knew he'd ask. I open the one from Kevin.

Heyyyyyy! What's up, girl? How you doin?

I respond as normally as I can.

Hayyy! I'm just heading to the gym!

I don't answer the second question. I hope he doesn't notice. I also hope he doesn't care if he does notice. I hope for a lot of things.

End of Flashback

Now I know better. Now I know better than to trust people, anyone, no matter how close. It was simply nostalgia, no other reason, that I kept Kevin around after that. He made everything seem a little better. But I know that he doesn't care. And it hurts more and more with each breath I take, each beat of my heart. I am all alone. I am going to die, all alone. I know it. But no one else needs to know. I will die the same way I lived. Alone. I'll make sure of that. I'll make sure of it. Soon. I tell myself as I sit on Dylan's couch, staring at his phone, and a picture of me and Billy smiling at the camera.
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Oh my god, Haiii! I'm so sorry for not updating the past few weeks! I feel so bad! I've been so busy.... I also appologize for the shortness of this one. My brain has been fried lately. :(

Anyway, I wanted to thank all of y'all for being here, and I hope you're enjoying reading the story as much as I enjoy writing it! Could I have at least five comments, please? Pwease? Tell me what you think of Kevin now, what you think Emma's talking about in the last paragraph, or anything else really! <3 Love you all!