A/N: This chapter has been a long time coming.

October 11th 2007.

M! Countdown.

The girls had performed and it was going to be another great night. Their debut song, ‘Into The New World’ was more than favorably received and the girls had successfully presented a new and fresh face to the entertainment business. The mere size of their group was already quite remarkable, but their enthusiasm and energy was the captivating clincher that kept audiences enthralled. Of course, their physical attractiveness helped also.

The girls were sitting in the audience now, just enjoying and basking in their surroundings. It had been two months now since their debut, but they weren’t any less excited with anything and everything.

Tiffany was seated between to Seohyun and Yuri smack dab in the middle of her group members. She was concentrating on smiling as she knew cameras were roaming everywhere. Just then, one of their manager oppas came discreetly running down the aisle, trying very hard not to draw attention to himself. He crouched next to Hyoyeon, who was sitting closest to the aisle and handed her a vibrating phone. He whispered something into Hyoyeon’s ears, who nodded in understanding. The phone was then passed from one girl to the next, slowly making its’ way towards…Tiffany.

The girl had watched the approaching phone with a growing fear in the pit of her stomach. The screen of the phone kept lighting up as it vibrated, and as it got closer, she could clearly see the number of the caller. It was Jaesung. Tiffany began to tremble and she gripped the seat of her chair so hard it ripped the plastic covering. Taeyeon had the phone now, and she too saw the caller ID. Of all the girls, only Jessica and Taeyeon had Jaesung and the hospital’s number memorized. Taeyeon’s head snapped up and immediately sought out Tiffany. What she saw almost broke her heart.

Tiffany was staring wide-eyed back at her, the fear in the younger girl’s eyes was so devastating that it almost took on a corporeal form of its own. Taeyeon wanted to stand up and grab the girl in a hug, to comfort her as Tiffany had done for her so many times before. Jessica was on the other end and the phone would never reach her, but even so, she was picking up that something was wrong.

The rest of the girls were also now beginning to recognize that Tiffany was under some sort of distress, and even they could feel the stink of fear now emanating from the thug. The phone had now reached Sunny, who slowly and tentatively handed the phone to Tiffany beside her.

Tiffany stared with glistening eyes at the phone in her lap. Everything else around her grew dark and she heard and saw nothing else but that vibrating screen that was flashing Jaesung’s number like a cruel taunt. She was blind and deaf to everything. Deaf to the hushed whispers of her manager oppa telling her that it was an urgent call and for her to pick it up immediately. Deaf to the claps and cheers of the audience as the show went on, oblivious to Tiffany’s pain. Blind to the worried looks of all her members. Blind to Taeyeon mouthing Jaesung’s name to Jessica. Blind to the now crouching form of her girlfriend as she crawled in the small space between the next row of seats and the other members’ legs. Jessica was very aware that her actions were unbecoming and completely unbefitting of an idol, but in her desperation to reach Tiffany she could have cared less if she were standing in front of all these people. Tiffany needed her, it was that simple.

Time had slowed and stopped for Tiffany. The phone was still vibrating off the hook, but she had yet to pick up the call. She was numbly aware of Jessica’s hands on her thighs as the brunette knelt in front of her and picked up the call for her. Then, Tiffany watched weakly as Jessica’s face paled and drained of all color. Jessica was fair of skin as it was, but now she looked like she could pass for a corpse, and Tiffany found herself wondering how Lexi would look…

Then, like someone had pressed a fast forward button, everything around them sped up to normal speed.

“And the winners…SNSD!”

They had won.

They had won their first M! Countdown. This was the first time they had won anything.

But this was also the first time all the girls were finally exposed to a broken and vulnerable Tiffany. Only Jessica out of all of them had seen this side of their thug, and it was disconcerting to see their beloved Tiffany so shattered and weak. Their emotions didn’t match the occasion, and the girls felt disheartened.

Jessica was still on the phone and had seemed to gained some color back in her face. She was now nodding in… Was that excitement and happiness that the girls saw in their ice princess’s eyes?! Their manager oppa was now bustling and herding the girls up the stage. He whispered to Jessica as she passed, telling her and take Tiffany and stand near the back where they were less visible to the cameras. Manager oppa understood Tiffany’s situation, and there was no way he would make the poor girl wait for news of her own hospitalized sister. They were family and he had grown to care for the brusque girl that seemed so different from her other members. He vowed silently to do everything in his power to aid and help her in her time of need.

On the stage, the girls were initially disoriented and rather unfocused. None of their minds were on their current situation. They all simply wanted to know what was going on with Tiffany.

Taeyeon knew she needed to step up, the girls needed a leader more than anything else at a time like this. The kid-leader mumbled encouragements under her breath as she passed each of her group members, telling them to smile and act natural. Taeyeon kept a smile on her face the entire time. She needed to lead by example. She could only hope the girls would follow suit.

To Taeyeon’s relief, she watched as the girls unfurled, smiling and waving in very convincing mock happiness. Most were even able to squeeze out ‘tears of joy’ and the kid-leader found herself mentally thanking all those dramas Sooyoung made them marathon when they had nothing to do. The girls indeed benefited from that. Taeyeon alone was able to spot the glints of uncertainty in their eyes, but no one else in the audience would be able to pick up the underlying current of unease that was settling amongst the girls. Taeyeon’s chest swelled in her pride. She gave a short speech, dutifully thanked the people that needed to be thanked, said the things that needed to be said. Her calm demeanor assured the girls and steadied their resolve.

The show must go on.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Jessica gripping Tiffany’s hands within hers, a blazing look in her eyes. Jessica looked positively glowing with hope, and Taeyeon drew strength from that spark in almond russet orbs. Perhaps the news was not bad. Taeyeon held tenaciously onto that hope with the faith of a devout religious follower.

Right after her speech, the girls gathered around to cover a still shell-shocked looking Tiffany. Taeyeon wasn’t sure, but she caught a flashing glint of fear in Tiffany’s eyes. It was soon gone before she could really register it and Taeyeon wanted to attribute it to the spotlights that were on everywhere around them. Jessica looked happy after that phone call, which means it was good news from Jaesung right? There shouldn’t be such a huge discrepancy between what Jessica was feeling and what Tiffany was feeling. Maybe Tiffany was just still too dazed to be able to react accordingly.

The MCs, Super Junior’s own Leeteuk and Eunhyuk looked so happy for their dongsaengs for their first win. This was a monumental moment for them. They said a few blurbs and invited SNSD to perform Into The New World once more for their audience. At that moment, the girls were taken aback to see Tiffany look straight up at them and into the cameras. The thug gave them a quick reassuring nod and then suddenly, she was beaming with a soul-shattering smile. Tiffany gently pushed the girls into position, murmuring her reassurances as she did so. The change was amazing. Suddenly, Tiffany was smiling and laughing, crying tears of joy and jumping up and down with the hyperactivity that the public had come to expect from her. Tiffany was turning on her ‘Brighter than Mushrooms Fany Fany Tiffany’ alter ego as she had never before. The girls breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps things were really going to be ok.

And then, even as the thunderstruck girls watched, Tiffany sang and danced right along with them with gusto and enthusiasm befit of Tigger himself. Taeyeon nodded and reassured herself.

Everything’s alright.

…

…

…

Tiffany looked into the screaming audiences and saw Jaxon staring back at her, smiling. She looked to his side and saw that he had an arm draped loosely over Lexi. Lexi was smiling too, smiling and mouthing something to Tiffany.

I’ll see you soon Stephie. I love you.

Tiffany cried tears of terror which she hid artfully behind the pretense of ‘tears of joy’.

Her world may be crumbling, and she had no idea if she could come out alive this time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After their performance, Tiffany rushed off the stage. She immediately went to find their manager oppa. The girls followed closely behind. When Tiffany found their manager, she ran up to him with desperate urgency.

“Take me to the hospital. Now! I need to go see my sister!” Tiffany was not asking. She was demanding.

Manager oppa had expected as much. Tiffany was never one for flowery ornate words, she said what she meant and meant what she said. But what he hadn’t expected to see what the terror that was screaming from her eyes. The girl looked shaken and unstable. He looked behind Tiffany and saw all the other eights girls laughing and smiling like they had been given everything they have ever wanted.

“Lexi’s awake!” They screamed like a bunch of wired five-year-olds.

He wanted to smile, but couldn’t. Something wasn’t adding up.

Tiffany had given up requesting a ride from her manager by now and was running through the crowds. She was stopped by the film crew, who was telling her she needed to stay with her group so that the cameras could take more pictures of their first win. Then, even as everyone watched, Tiffany threw herself at the men blocking her way, trying to ram her way through. She was screaming like an insane asylum patient, thrashing her arms and legs out violently, not caring who she hit. The girls and their manager were beside the crazed Tiffany in seconds, struggling to understand the situation.

“LET ME THROUGH BEFORE I BEAT YOU TO THE GROUND! I NEED TO LEAVE! I NEED TO LEAVE!!!!!” Tiffany screamed, spittle flying from .

Manager oppa and even the girls were afraid to approach this seemingly unhinged Tiffany. Lexi was awake. Why was Tiffany acting out like this? Jessica alone steppe