Monday March 28th 2022

And now as he sat here between her legs, with her touching him so freely without restraint or worry, Jaesung could see how far they had come.

He had never been more proud of Nayeong.

And he had never loved her more.

…

…

…

Nayeong’s head started to slip off of Tiffany’s shoulders and Tiffany knew she should probably carry the woman off to bed. She slid her hand gently underneath Nayeong’s head, supporting it while she shifted to the side. The thug was about to wedge her hands underneath Nayeong’s knees and hoist her up into her arms when she felt Jaesung stir by their feet and turned to find him looking at her with his head quirked to his side, studying her and Nayeong with lightly veiled mirth.

“I should be jealous you know? Any other man would be. But why is it that when I see you care for her, cuddle with her, touch her…that I feel…at peace?”

“Because you know I make her happy, and you know that she loves you and only you in that way. She…she doesn’t ever look at me in that way anymore. And the way she looks at you…it’s more passionate than when she’s ever looked at me. You never have to worry about that with her.”

“I know.”

“Here. You should take her and tuck her in,” Tiffany intoned softly as she nudged Nayeong over to the doctor.

Jaesung moved from his spot on the floor and swiftly but tenderly took Nayeong into his arms. The woman continued to slumber on, curled into his chest like a cashew. The young doctor took a step in the direction of their bedroom, halting right at the door.

“Thank you for loving her,” he said softly, without turning around. Then he strode swiftly into their room and closed the door.

Tiffany lay on the couch with the duvet falling in swathes around her, her own eyes tracing the lazy movements of a small spider on the ceiling above her.

A few meters away from her, her doll and Jaesung were asleep together on their bed. She could imagine their arms and legs intertwined together, Nayeong’s head on his chest, her hair sprawled around them, their breathing even and deep.

They were troubled.

But they were happy.

It was so evident.

Tiffany’s heart constricted.

Would she ever have this with Jessica?

A small cozy apartment to call their own.

The freedom to call friends over for dinner.

Talks of weddings and babies.

Would they ever be granted the mundane boringness that is everyone else’s life?

Because if so…that would be wonderful.

But if not…

…Tiffany didn’t even want to think upon it.

She watched mesmerized as the spider wove its tiny web to catch its own Christmas feast, the delicate filament of silvery sheen swaying slightly, but so deceivingly strong, never giving way. And then she was swirling down and down and down, deeper and deeper into the shimmering darkness that was the intricacies of an arachnid’s weave.

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Jaesung stared down into the face of the woman he loved. He felt a harsh clenching in his chest, disappointed in himself for not having seen the reason of Nayeong’s struggles sooner.

Himself.

He was the reason.

He must have been staring too long and leaning too far in because a few seconds later, Nayeong stirred and her eyes fluttered open, having been awoken slightly from Jaesung’s gentle breathing on her face.

“Baby? Are you alright? Omigosh…Tiffany! She’s st–”

“Out in the living room snuggled up to our warmest duvet, drifting off into dreams of nutcrackers and sugarplum fairies. Don’t worry…Nayeong?”

“Hmm?”

“Love me less.”

“What?”

“Love me less.”

“Jaesung…what in the world are you talking about? How can I love you less? Who the hell asks someone to ‘love them less’?! Baby…what’s wrong? Tell me. You need to tell me because I don’t think I can do what you just asked of me. I can’t. I won’t love you any less than I do.”

“I need to know that you love me less than you love yourself Nayeong. I need to know that when given a choice, you will choose yourself over me, no matter what the situation. I need for you to love yourself more and…love me less. Nayeong…I can’t bear to be the reason you are hurting! You’ve hurt enough and I promised myself that I would never let you hurt again. And yet! Here I am, hurting you. So please…love me less.”

“I’m not hurting Jaesung. You love me, you would never hurt m–”

“I don’t care for what my parents think or what anyone else thinks.”

“What?”

“I don’t care if they should ever think a woman unable to bear my child is unworthy. I don’t care for ‘carrying on the family name’. I don’t care for the sacredness of blood, because you and I both know through Tiffany that blood is however sacred as you make it. Whatever child we bring into our household, whether it be a joining of your blood with mine, or a child who came from the blood in another’s veins, we will both love it as our own Nayeong. That child will be ours in every goddamn sense under the sun and no one can tell us any less! Blood is precious, but only because we know it’s what keeps us alive and breathing, what allows us to continue to love each other and show each other that love every. Single. Day.”

“…”

“So please…love me less…” Jaesung whispered as he slowly sat up on the bed and knelt beside Nayeong’s body.

“Make me happy and love yourself more…” he repeated as he brought up Nayeong’s hands to his lips and carefully, meticulously, lovingly, kissed every knuckle.

“Make me happy and love me less…” he leaned forwards and pressed a deep passionate kiss to her lips. He felt her bring her hands up to rest on his neck and the back of his head, one of her hands threading through his black locks to bring him closer to her.

Every time Nayeong did something like this, showed him that she enjoyed and loved his physical touches, Jaesung’s heart would explode in his chest in a brilliant display of pyrotechnics. He never got tired of it.

Jaesung finally pulled away and leaned back, Nayeong’s large innocent doll-like eyes gazing ponderously back at him in the darkness of their room; their room that had over all these months, witnessed the progression of both their emotional and physical love for each other. He stared lovingly back at her and the next eight words he said would be one of the most profound and important words of his life.

“Make me happy and…marry me, Lee Nayeong.”

The young doctor shifted a little on his knees and leaned forwards once more. He hitched the thin material of her shirt up to reveal the milky smooth skin of her tummy. Jaesung caressed the expanse of her softness, marveling at the fact that he could touch her so. He bent down and placed a soft, wet kiss, right below her belly button, right where a baby would begin to grow in its mother’s womb. He could feel Nayeong take in one shuddering breath of air and felt her stomach tense underneath his touch.

“Make me happy and raise our children with me, and no matter what, they will be ours,” he promised, tears shining in his eyes and dripping like hot wax onto the silken skin of the woman beneath him. He nuzzled his nose into her tummy and then rested his cheek on her supple softness, face upturned and facing her.

And in that moment, Nayeong felt she had never seen anyone so beautiful in her eyes.

She sat up and cradled Jaesung’s head closely to her chest. Turning him to face her, she captured his lips that were salty with his tears.

“I want to make you happy…”

And that was all Jaesung needed to hear.

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Jaesung woke up at the first chime of his alarm, he swiftly rolled over and silenced it without disturbing Nayeong laying peacefully in his arms.

It was only five in the morning but he had rounds to run and interns to hustle.

He slowly e