September 30th, 2014

The first stops were actually their manager oppas and unnies. All of whom welcomed the girls warmly into their houses for tea and such. These invitations were politely turned down as Tiffany didn’t want to dawdle and wanted more time spent with the girls. So the thug just smiled, dropped off a Ziploc-bagged batch of her cookies, and wished them a ‘Merry Christmas and a happy New Year’.

Tiffany took them for lunch at the small traditional Korean restaurant she had taken Jessica to the first night they became official. The elderly ahjumma was beyond thrilled at seeing Tiffany again, scolding the girl for not dropping by to visit more often. Tiffany smiled and hugged the kind old lady, whispering a few words into the ahjumma’s ears that no one else could hear. The elderly woman laughed and patted Tiffany’s hand before leading her towards the kitchen to find her husband.

Then the woman returned and poured tea for the rest of the girls, leaving Tiffany in the kitchen, chatting with the elderly ahjussi.

“You girls take good care of yourselves you hear? You work too hard! I see you on TV almost everyday! And please…take good care of that stubborn girl in there. She’s always smiling when I see her, but an old bird like me, who has seen many things since my time, I can tell her smiles are not always genuine. So much story behind those eyes of hers. It’s rather saddening.”

Jessica stood up and hugged the ahjumma tightly, brightly assuring her that they’ll take care of Tiffany. But the moment the woman was gone, Jessica frowned. If even a person who sees Tiffany casually on an on and off basis can see that the girl is not quite ‘fine’, then her girlfriend was really definitely struggling.

Taeyeon could see the concern and worry in Jessica’s eyes and tugged at her pant leg to get the younger girl to sit down.

“She’s not fine and she’s not alright. But she’s better and only going to get even better. Don’t worry Sooyeon-ah.”

“Yea Sica-ah, Tiffany’s gotten so much brighter and better than before. She hasn’t gone out fighting and she’s not avoiding us anymore. We’re getting there,” Sunny chimed in with a kind smile.

The other girls nodded in agreement.

Jessica sighed and took a sip of her tea.

She knew they were right, but she couldn’t control the ache in her chest.

If only cardiologists could actually fix a hurting shattered heart…

…

…

…

Despite the previously solemn air, the girls couldn’t help but enjoy themselves when Tiffany came back from the kitchen with plates of premium hanu beef, compliments of the kind ahjussi who’s been missing Tiffany like the granddaughter he never had.

Lunch was boisterous and the girls had a great time, chatting and telling the elderly ahjumma of what they had been up to of late. Many of them still had grandparents, but most had not seen them in a while. They saw their grandparents even less frequently than their parents and sometimes they went almost half-a-year before even having the slightest chance of seeing their halmeoni and harabeojis. It was a sad fact of life.

So many of the girls actually found themselves somewhat parasitizing themselves onto this wonderful elderly couple.

They loved how they fawned over them in ways that only the elderly would, how they kept encouraging the girls to eat more and take better care of themselves. It was a comfort of everyday life that many other young teens had that they had been denied because of their career choice.

When they finally finished their scrumptious meal, the girls helped clean up, refusing to allow the elderly woman to exert herself over their mess. And even though the elderly couple insisted on this meal being their treat, Jessica watched as Tiffany discreetly slid over two hundred thousand won under the till.

Then with more hugs and promises of more frequent visits, the nine girls bundled into the van once more.

Most of the girls fell into somewhat of a food coma after their meal and sat slumped in their seats as Tiffany drove. None of them knew where they were headed, but they decided to just let themselves be surprised with what Tiffany came up with.

And like every single time Tiffany did something…they were floored.

And not always in a good way.

…

…

…

Tiffany pulled up at the hospital.

“Second to last stop,” Tiffany said evenly as she parked the van.

No one said anything.

They didn’t know what to make of…well…anything.

Tiffany turned off the ignition and got out, already moving towards the entrance without sparing the other girls a glance. There was a mad scramble for the doors and then eight girls piled out, walking hurriedly after Tiffany.

They followed behind.

Many of them cringed and shuddered at the memories they had of this place.

Jessica didn’t want to look up at all.

She felt Sooyoung slip her hands into hers and guide her along so she wouldn’t walk into anything. The older girl afforded Sooyoung a weak smile which was returned with brilliance. And in that instance, Jessica was glad for Sooyoung’s presence and her easygoing attitude that seemed to push away her more morbid and depressing thoughts.

They stopped in front of the mental ward.

Jessica felt an uncomfortable prickling under her skin.

She was almost certain she would not like where this was going.

They watched in wariness as Tiffany approached the nurse at the mental ward station, saying a few words and gesturing towards the girls behind her. The nurse nodded and led Tiffany to a private ward.

The girls followed.

When they finally walked into the ward, there was a slight almost offended intake of air all around.

Jessica felt hate bubble like viscous molten lava up from her very depths.

This man deserved every pain humanly possible to be inflicted on his wretched soul.

But what made it worse was what Tiffany was doing.

She was…

…hugging the man.

Jessica grit her teeth and clenched her fists, her jaw set into a defiant line. She was barely conscious of Sooyoung’s soothing touch on her arm. All she could see was the blood that had been spilt and the pain that had been caused because of this .

Tiffany already knew what reactions to expect from the girls, and she knew that Jessica would react angrily if not outright violently. The thug moved back towards the girls, who stayed frozen by the doorway. She gave Sooyoung a grateful smile and took Jessica’s hand from the taller girl.

“He saved me from myself Jessi. I don’t have hate for him, only gratefulness and sadness. So neither should you. He’s alone, and sick. He’s a schizophrenic patient Jess. He didn’t mean what he did intentionally.”

“He stabbed you!”

“Out of self-defense. I was going to crush his chest and possibly kill him.”

“He still stabbed you!”

“Jessi…”

“Almost killed you! Took you away from me! Stephanie!”

“They abandoned him. His family. Because they couldn’t put up with his behavior.”

And then Jessica understood everything.

There was nothing more she could say.

She didn’t feel the need to stop her hate for the man. He had almost taken away the most precious thing to her. But at the same time, she understood Stephanie’s actions and what she was thinking.

Jessica took a few deep breaths to calm her rage.

“Don’t expect me to welcome him with open arms Steph. That’s asking too much of me.”

“I’m not. I just want you to understand is all.”

Tiffany looked up at the other girls to gage their reactions.

There was anger all around and Tiffany could see hatred flaring in eyes she was used to seeing kindness from.

Especially Taeyeon.

The shorter girl suddenly drew herself up to her full height, which wasn’t that tall. But there was something intimidating in her air, something almost menacing and ominous. Tiffany had never seen Taeyeon like this. She watched as Taeyeon approached Cho Do-Hyun.

“Don’t you ever, ever give me an excuse to hurt you. Because I will take it and ing destroy you,” Taeyeon hissed, her face contorted into a mask of fury and severe hatred.

Sunny quickly moved up and pulled Taeyeon away, rubbing Taeyeon’s back with the hell of her palm to calm the older girl.

Tiffany sighed.

This was not what she had wanted.

Nevertheless, she did what she came here to do, which was to talk to Cho Do-Hyun. Wish him ‘happy holidays’.

She sat herself on the edge of his bed.

“Have you taken your medication yet?”

“Yea…”

“Christmas is coming…”

“Yea…”

“I made you cookies. I left them by the nurse’s station. You’ll have some after dinner tonight. For dessert.”

“Yea…”

“Have your family come to visit?”

“No…”

“Do you…do you like when I visit?”

“…”

Tiffany stared intently at the man. Her past conversations with him had always been the same. Monotone, monosyllable, and utterly inconclusive of anything.

“I’ll come by again at least once more during Christmas break. You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“…”

Tiffany patted the man’s gruff hands and stood up to leave.

She felt a connection to him. And she knew it was because he too had been abandoned by those who should have cared the most for him. She asked around about his history and found that his parents had thrown him out at age nineteen, unable to put up with his erratic behavior. He’s been living on the streets ever since.

Fourteen years.

Fourteen years alone and unwanted. It would be better to die. His conduct only got worse as he went on without medication to control his schizophrenic tendencies and he started to become violent.

Tiffany understood that with medicinal control, most schizophrenics were able to function in society despite slight hiccups. Many were not violent. There was a stigma attached to sufferers of mental illnesses, with most people assuming them to be a threat to society and prone to bursts of violence. In many ways, it was better to suffer a corporal disease such as cancer than a mental disorder. At least you were not shunned and feared by society.

And if Tiffany were being honest with herself, she also saw a little bit of Dom in Cho Do-Hyun. She was sure Dom too had suffered men