Jessica struggled to control herself, to not cry a river as she and Tiffany sat on a park bench in deafening silence. She’d be lying if she said it hadn’t hurt when Tiffany pushed her away. In fact it hurt, a lot. Because one moment she was sky high, and the next, Tiffany had torn out her heart and plunged it deep into the watery depths of Mariana’s Trench. And now as they sat here, the normally snarky, smart-alecky girl didn’t even have the guts to look Jessica in the face and tell her ‘it’s all one-sided’. Jessica scoffed inwardly. It would gall to have those words thrown into her face, except this time, Tiffany wouldn’t be talking about Yuri, it would be about her, Jessica Jung.

Tiffany couldn’t bring herself to look up. She had almost used Jessica. Used her to satisfy carnal urges. She and Jessica didn’t exactly get along, but Jessica sure as hell didn’t deserve to be the victim of Tiffany’s own selfish primal instincts. Tiffany’s head was still reeling from the kiss, and her body was still vying for more. But now that Tiffany had come to her senses and realized that she had almost used Jessica like she had used the girl from DaMasque, her shame kept a tight rein on her self-control. Tiffany wanted desperately to apologize, but those words never came easy out of , still…she had to try.

“I’m…I’m bad at stuff…you know…feelings…stuff…”

Damn it…what the hell is that Tiffany? Stuff?! Just say you’re sorry!

“…” Jessica shot Tiffany a pitiful look, wondering what on earth the younger girl was talking about. Jessica waited for Tiffany to explain, but she never did. Jessica steeled herself. She had lost all pride and self-worth tonight; she at least deserved to know what she had lost it to.

“I like you,” Jessica said carefully, mulling over each word like one tastefully mulls red wine. The three words seemed so foreign to her, felt so strange rolling off her tongue. Jessica glanced over at Tiffany, who was still staring at the ground. It was so disconcerting, seeing Tiffany so unsure of herself. The younger girl always seemed to have a rather dominating and assured presence, even when she tried to appear to be a bumbling fool. But now, merely looking up to have a proper conversation seemed beyond her.

The younger said nothing. Jessica thought she heard a slight intake of air, but that was all that came from the otherwise unresponsive girl.

Jessica decided to wait. To be patient. And seeing as Jessica Jung was not the most tolerant of people, it was quite a feat. She wanted more than anything to scream and yell and demand an answer, or at least a word. Just one word would do. A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Even though that didn’t directly answer anything, ‘yes’ is very easily interpreted as ‘ok, yea, I like you too’ and ‘no’ can be taken as ‘no, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to work’. Not ideal. It wasn’t anything elegant or romantic, and it really would give no explanative reasons behind the answer, but it crudely did the job and would put her out of her misery. Jessica wasn’t looking for anything fancy or memorable, she just wanted to have a tangible reason for her tears.

Tiffany knew. Deep down she knew the ice princess had feelings for her. Romantic feelings. Feelings she herself had never encountered and never thought to encounter. Tiffany was not one for princes and princesses, shiny drawbridged castles, happily ever afters, and Disney-tastical fantasies. And could anyone blame her? Tiffany didn’t allow herself the luxury of dreaming such irrelevant and impossible delusions. Why dream when the world was so stark in contrast? Why put herself through such useless futility?

Useless and jaded.

Jaded. There are no illusions here. Tiffany was jaded beyond belief. The overlying layers shattered repeatedly and clumsily put back together with hardy duct tape and shoddy glue-work, then wrapped in another shiny new layer of jade to cover the blemishes. She was the tiniest in a Matryoshka doll and she was covered in countless fronts till she was almost lost in the intricacies of the designs.

She had shouldered the yoke that was her family with no complaints, for she never saw it as a burden in the first place. She had a good life, a happy life with her haphazard but perfect hodge-podge of a family. Mom and dad, Dominic and Jaxon, and of course, Alexandra Isobel Everett. The light of their lives.

But it had all jaded her till she was almost unrecognizable in the impassive face that was ‘Tiffany’.

No one deserved that; to have to spend the rest of their lives peeling away layer after layer, constantly wondering which instances were glimpses of the real Tiffany and which was the product of the world. How could Tiffany knowingly place this burden on another soul? Knowingly give herself to someone and have them bear that pain? No one deserved her. Jessica didn’t deserve her, a shell of a girl. This was her fate she had willingly chosen, but she wouldn’t wish this on anyone else.

So no. Tiffany had no feelings of that sort towards Jessica. She only had her family. For Jessica…all she had was pure lust.

“I…I’m sorry Jessica…” Tiffany almost had to choke out the words, her tongue suddenly felt too big and fat for .

Jessica laughed. Bitterly.

“I’m surprised you don’t have some snarky reply for that. You seem to have an arsenal of them, especially when it comes to me. ‘Oh yea, well I like you too princess. And why wouldn’t I? You’re demanding, obstinate, and utterly delusional. Who wouldn’t fall head over heels for you? Let me be your prince charming my dear and let’s ride off into the damn sunset!’ ”

“Don’t. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“What?! Do what to myself?!”

“Make this a joke.”

“Well I am the one being humiliated, so I think I’ve earned the right to damn well make a joke of whatever I want can’t I?!”

“It’s just you and me here. And I’m not humiliating you.”

“Oh don’t your words just ooze of comfort and put my heart at ease! Were you the one who threw herself at another girl like some damn hussy?!”

“I think you and I both know that was as much me as it was you.”

Jessica realized right then she had lied. She did want to know why. A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ was not enough. She needed a complete answer.

“Then I at least deserve to know why you pushed me away.”

“It was wrong.”

“That’s not an answer! Lying is wrong! Stealing is wrong! Cheating is wrong! The freaking holocaust was wrong! I need an answer! Please…can’t you just give me that? Haven’t I lowered myself enough for today to at least deserve a straightforward answer from you?”

“I want you.”

“…”

“…”

“You…want me?”

“Yes. Most vigorously.”

“…”

“…”

“So…yo– …you’re bad at stuff?”

“Yes!” It was the first time someone had understood what Tiffany meant when she said she was ‘bad at stuff’, and Tiffany wanted so much to clap like a retarded seal in her excitement, but she figured Jessica wouldn’t appreciate it.

“And so when you say you ‘want me’ you don’t mean what other people usually mean by that…because you’re bad at stuff…? You…don’t mean that you…like me back?”

“…That’s not what wanting someone means. Wanting does not pertain to liking…”

“So you want me…but you don’t like me?”

“Yes! So you get it!” Tiffany nodded excitedly, thinking Jessica had finally caught on.

“No you retard! I don’t ‘get it!’ ” Jessica shrieked in fury. How the hell could this girl be so socially inept? It was beyond infuriating talking to her! Jessica felt like having a nervous breakdown and shaving her hair and eyebrows! Britney Spears can stand the frick aside!

“I WANT YOU! I want those lips, those s, those hips, those legs, goddamnit I even want your toes! YOUR GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL TOES!!!!” Tiffany screamed back before she could stop the rush of verbal diarrhea. The silence following thereafter was enough to make Tiffany want to crawl into a hole and die.

“…”

“…”

“Yo…you want my body?” Jessica confirmed uncertainly. It was such a weird notion, and Jessica didn’t know how she felt about it.

“I lust after you! Ok?! My body imagines itself doing all sorts of things to you! I can’t control myself when you’re near me! I lose all sense of decency and self-control when you look at me! The smell of you drives me nuts! I almost you that day when I had to guide you to the showers! I had to pray for divine empowerment! I want you! I’m freaking for you! ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!!” Tiffany screamed herself hoarse on that last part. All those months of suppressing her carnivorous desires, of avoiding all contact that could make her body explode in many colorful yet painful ways