October 31st 2013

Things did nearly go back to ‘normal’ after Tiffany’s near brush with Death. She did not quite go back to her more open self that she had slowly begun to display in the days before Lexi had died, but she was definitely a far cry away from the morose, Death-seeking Tiffany who had darkened the doorway of every room she walked in.

The thug no longer frequented illegal fight rings and gradually, her skin was once more milk-white and flawless in it’s own scarred way. She came home to sleep regularly and resumed her usually routine of getting up early to run and work out before returning to the dorm to cook breakfast for her members. She was still a little distant and avoided most forms of skinship with almost everyone apart from her Achilles Heel: Jessica.

Jessica could tell there was still a whole ton of fears and quandaries beneath Tiffany’s calm and collected exterior, but she was used to this. They were at least back on familiar grounds in some ways and Jessica knew more or less what to do. Their -life ramped up once more as Tiffany poured her troubles into the physical exertion of rather than fighting.

Jessica took some matters into her own hands and now frequently took control in the bedroom, completely dominating the younger girl and sometimes even going so far as to purposely cause Tiffany a controlled amount of physical pain. The older girl could see that Tiffany gained some sort of psychological release from feeling pain and after every session, she noticed that Tiffany always slept a little better than usual.

Jessica could tell that Tiffany was still struggling with feelings of self-guilt, but at least now it was manageable and Tiffany was finally allowing herself to be needy and seeking help. With time, Jessica hoped that these destructive feelings of survivor’s guilt would eventually stop plaguing the younger girl and Tiffany could truly and finally live again.

Jessica was finally feeling hopeful after so long.

Tiffany was finally leaning on her and opening up in a way she never had before. She has never loved Tiffany more than she did now, and she was starting to come under the impression that ‘love really was enough’. The love she and Tiffany had for each other was strong enough to surpass everything.

Jessica believed it with much adamant faith.

Love is enough.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was the beginning of December and Seoul was starting to look more and more like a winter postcard with every passing day. The weather took a turn for the usual biting bitter cold and white fluffy flakes were expected to float down from the sky soon in beautiful mesmerizing swirls of erratic dance.

It was said to be a white Christmas this year.

With the approaching holidays, the girls all made plans to go home and spend time with their families, but there was much tiptoeing around the issue as Tiffany didn’t have a set home to go to.

The Lees were undoubtedly going to ask Tiffany to stay with them for the holidays, as was Nayeong and Jaesung. Jessica’s parents had also expressed a desire to have Tiffany over and even Taeyeon’s parents had extended a polite initiation to have Taeyeon’s other ‘pea in the pod’ come visit for the holidays.

The Jungs themselves had surreptitiously started to sneak in larger portions of food and supplies into the girl’s dorms when they came to visit Jessica. Gradually, the portions increased so much so that they were buying food and everyday needs for all nine girls. It was left an unspoken understanding, but everyone knew this was solely for the benefit of Tiffany, who the Jungs had started to take under their wing. But of course, they had to get in line behind the Lees, ‘NaSung’, as Naeyong and Jaesung were now branded, and even Teddy. Not that anyone minded. Everyone was just happy that Tiffany now had a whole line-up of people waiting to love and care for her, because in their eyes, the girl could never be loved enough.

But to everyone’s disappointment, Tiffany did not choose to spend Christmas with any of her many prospective families. There was an initial clamber of uproar when Tiffany’s sentiments were known and many became worried that the thug would slip once more down the slippery slopes of depression and guilt with the quickly approaching Christmas season that celebrated family above all else.

In many ways, despite the outpouring of love and support, Tiffany was the poorest of all the girls in terms of familial love. Everyone knew that there was but one family Tiffany yearned for, and none of them could ever fill void. No matter how many families sincerely opened up their home and hearts to the girl, there would always, always, always, be a gaping hole where five now ephemeral souls now resided. And in some ways, the almost over-the-top outpour of love and offers only made Tiffany feel that much more empty. The more fervent the efforts made to fill that hole, the more the aching in her chest grew, reminding her of the completeness of her loss.

So Tiffany was steadfast in spending the Christmas season alone at the dorm.

All the girls had then scrambled to change their plans and were gearing up to ask their parents for permission to spend Christmas at the dorms so that Tiffany was not alone, but Taeyeon and Jessica stopped them.

The two eldest knew the pains of Tiffany’s heart and thought it best to leave Tiffany alone. The thug had recovered enough from Lexi’s death and they could see that the wound was starting to close up. They felt they could trust Tiffany enough to not go out seeking Death once more. Between the two, they spoke secretly about keeping their schedules open during Christmas, both ready to come a-flying back to the dorm if anything should happen or if Tiffany needed them in any way. Both the parents of Taeyeon and Jessica understood the situation and were more than happy to accommodate, giving their daughters permission to disappear at will if that proved to be necessary.

As Christmas came nearer and nearer, Jessica could tell that Tiffany had something weighing heavily on her mind. This was to be expected. Everyone assumed that Tiffany was morose because she was once again reminded of her losses. But a small incident that Jessica chanced to witness made her think there was perhaps something else on Tiffany’s mind.

They were hosting a signing event and everything was going well. It was at peak hour and things were starting to get a little chaotic and messy. And like it always was with Tiffany, she was the most perceptive to their surroundings and was therefore the first to notice the crying child standing off to the side.

Jessica had been sitting two seats away from Tiffany so she was not able to see the entire incident, but from what Taeyeon, who was sitting beside Tiffany, told her, Tiffany had essentially dropped everything, ignored the fan that was standing in front of her, and walked briskly to the bawling child to haul him up into her arms.

Then the rest of the girls had watched as Tiffany searched valiantly for the little boy’s mother or father amongst the crowd. When that proved to be futile, Tiffany had charged one of the security guards with finding the child’s mother before carrying the child back to the signing table and sitting down with the child in her lap. She bounced him expertly up and down her knee and cooed softly into his ear as she continued to sign photographs like nothing was the matter.

There was a slight hesitation amongst the fans, as if the thing sitting on Tiffany’s knee was a ferocious Rottweiler guard dog that would tear them to pieces if they should dare to approach the Brighter than Gems Fany Fany Tiffany rather than a cute adorable yet bawling baby. But then, it seemed that there was a sudden consensus amongst everyone that this only boosted Tiffany’s already angelic persona in the publ