The Sweet Escape

*banner by G-Dara21

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It was endless. The bottom was endless; at least that’s what it felt like to her. She wanted to do something, she wanted to but her body seemed to stop operating, as if it has given up fighting – tired and exhausted. Death would be a sweet escape from all the pain, guilt, shame and everything else. What’s the point of fighting if the person she’s fighting for flew away from her already, looking as if he did not want to come back anymore? She made a mistake, she acknowledged that. She does not blame TOP for what happened because she knew; a part of her actually wanted that to happen. And she felt sicker because of that.

She blinked her eyes and thought that she saw a shadow of something flying above the water. She smiled and closed her eyes. Jiyong has come back for me, she thought. And not long after that, two set of hands grabbed her and started hauling her up to the surface. The moment she resurfaced, she suddenly felt the weird sensation of being transported. The next thing she knew, she was on dry land. She coughed out some water and looked up, only to be disappointed to see TOP. He, on the other hand, looked angry.

“What do you think were you doing?!” he demanded. “Are you that desperate to go to the river like that?”

“What are you doing here?” she asked softly, turning her face away from him to hide the tears of disappointment threatening to fall from her eyes. He didn’t come back. He didn’t come back. He didn’t. . . .

“What do you think I’m doing here?!”

“I told you to go away,” she said.

He exhaled harshly. “I can’t just leave you like that!” he said. And although he was shouting, his voice sounded raw. The rawness of it made her even more emotional.

“Go away.”

“Dara. . . .”

“I said go away!” she shouted and jumped to her feet. She started running away from him. But her legs gave in. she stumbled again and this time, she finally broke down into tears. She curled herself into a tight ball, hugging her chest tightly. A while later, someone pulled her up and hugged her. She knew who it was. She knew his scent, his arms, his warmth. She wanted to push him away but she was just too tired, too cold, too hurt. “He doesn’t want me anymore because of you!” she cried. “He. . . left me. He. . . . .”

He pulled her in closer. “I’m sorry to see you hurting like this but I don’t regret kissing you and touching you.”

She closed her eyes tightly. “Don’t. . .please don’t remind me. I hate you.”

He chuckled. “No, you don’t.”

She didn’t answer. She just cried and cried until her voice went hoarse, eyes red and nose puffy. TOP didn’t say anything. He just kept his arms around her, as if trying to hold her parts together so she won’t break apart.

When her cries turned to sobs, he started rocking back and forth, his hand going up and down her back to comfort her. “I overheard you a while ago,” he started. “About you forgiving him for what had happen before. I’m not going to ask about that yet. But maybe Jiyong needs time, Dara. Sometimes, when the wound is fresh, it hurts so much that it would make you frustrated and illogical. You should give him some time.”

“No,” she brokenly said. “If I do that, he’ll only slip farther away from me. He’ll think I’ve given up on him. I don’t want to let him go. I love him.”

TOP closed his eyes tightly and balled his fists. You have to let him go.

- - -

“Please. . .”

Bom sighed. “I don’t know where he is, Dara.”

“Bom please, I’m begging you.”

“He needs time to be alone, Dara.”

“But –”

“Remember before, when you went away? It took you some time to forgive him. He needs time, too.”

“But he’ll think I’ve given up on him. I don’t want him to think that and. . .” Dara stopped and took a deep breath. She felt so tired and dizzy.

“Are you feeling alright?” Bom asked. “You looked a bit pale,” she commented and touched her forehead. “You have fever!” she exclaimed.

“I’m fine,” Dara firmly said. “I need to talk to him, please.”

“I really don’t know where he is,” Bom said. “And even if I knew, I can’t tell you. You’re my friend, Dara. But Jiyong’s my friend, too.” She turned to TOP. “She’s sick. Take her to a hospital.”

“Aren’t you a healer?” TOP asked with raised brows.

“I’m fine,” Dara wearily said and then coughed.

“I think we should go, Dara.”

“No,” she snapped. “I won’t leave unless I can talk to Jiyong.”

“He’s not going to talk to you, Dara,” Bom said. “The more you force him, the more he’ll rebel against it. You know him.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Dara suddenly cried. “Just give up on him? After everything we went through, you want me to give up on him? I know I made mistakes and I admit that. I’m not perfect but I’m trying my best to show him how much he means to me, how much I love him. I’ve already had a taste of life without him before, when I went away and work in Han Eul’s boutique. I can survive without him, yes. But I can’t call that much of a survival or life either. Life without him is like eating a teaspoon of food once a month; drinking a glass of water once a year; breathing without getting air into my lungs. Everyday, I would look normal but everytime it goes dark, I always curl in my bed and cry myself too sleep, thinking that I’d better be dead than feel the way I do. I’ve broken down time and time again but still, I’m breaking right now. Do you even know how painful that is?”

“Maybe he thinks you need him more than you love him,” Bom quietly said.

“You know how much I love him, Bom. Surely you do, don’t you?”

She was silent for a moment. Her eyes went to TOP then back to her. “I’m sorry, Dara.”

- - -

“Dara was here a while ago,” she informed him.

“So?”

Bom sighed. “Why are you being difficult?”

He snorted. “And now I’m being difficult?”

“Yes, you are. You do know how much Dara loves you. And you said before that you’ll prioritize her happiness from anything else.”

“She doesn’t love me,” he bitterly said. “She just needs me because she doesn’t have anyone else anymore, because I took everyone from her life. She would not feel the way she does to that guy if she loves me. If she were happy and contented with me, she would not seek for another man’s arms.”

“Well, damn you!” Bom exclaimed. “Do you really think she’ll go here everyday just to ask for you even if she’s burning with fever? Goddamnit Jiyong, they just kissed! Nothing happened between them and she was drunk!”

“You can say whatever you like, Bom but no words from anyone would change how I feel.”

“You might as well turn into a stone!” she said and stormed out of the room without another glance at him.

He sighed and looked out of the window. With a blink, he was gone.

- - -

Loud music was pounding on the background. He wasn’t paying attention to it or anyone in particular. He doesn’t care about the phoenix anymore or anything and anyone already. He hasn’t been into the local bars or clubs that much since he was always lounging in the arena. But tonight, he chose a local place outside the shadow world he used to move around. He took a gulp from the bottle he was holding. Alcohol – it was quite reliable when you wanted to forget something or someone for just a moment.

“Jiyong?”

He paused and looked around. A familiar face greeted him. “Krystal Jung.”

“It is you!” the girl exclaimed. “What are you doing here? And where’s Dara?”

He shrugged and looked away. There was silence but at the corner of his eyes, she was still there, watching him in awe. He looked back at her. “Are you with your friends?”

“Yeah, sort of,” she laughed. “And I can see you’re alone. Want some company?”

He took another gulp of alcohol and shrugged. “Depends.”

“Depends on what?” she asked.

“Depends on up to what extent you would want to accompany me.”

A knowing smile curved her lips. “If that’s the case, I’ll join you then.” She took a seat on the stool beside him and ordered a drink.

“Want to dance?” he asked out of nowhere.

She shrugged. “Depends on up to what extent of dance you want.”

He heard it – the underlying meaning in her words and voice. It surprised him a little. As far as he can remember, it was Victoria who was pretty outgoing. “How about a dance that would blow your mind?” he suggested darkly.

She bit her lower lip and smiled. “Let me have a drink first.”

A moment later, they could be seen dancing in the middle of the dance floor, amidst other dancing people. Their bodies were pressed together, rubbing. She was a good dancer, he acknowledged that. A normal guy would have exploded already, but he wasn’t a normal guy. She lifted her arms and wrapped them around her neck, her hands playing with the hair at his nape. With a smile, she tiptoed and kissed him on the lips. She chuckled as she pulled away. “I have a confession to make,” she whispered in his ear. “I really find you very y, even before. But I was quite. . . shy back then,” she went on, laughing.

Jiyong didn’t say anything. Instead, he pulled her closer and buried his head on her neck. He started sniffing and nipping her. He heard her moan. He went on kissing her up until he reached her earlobe. He tugged at it before he went kissing her cheek and her lips.

- - -

When Jiyong opened his eyes the next day, it was already late afternoon. He pushed himself in a sitting position as he felt someone moving about the room.

“Hey,” Krystal smiled as she pulled her pants on. “I’m afraid I have to leave. My parents are looking for me already. But I’ll see you soon,” she said. He didn’t say anything. He just watched her put her clothes back on. When she was done, she walked to him and kissed him on the lips. “Thank you for the wonderful time.”

“I’ll walk you to the door,” he said obligingly. He went out of bed, not minding if he was . He grabbed a robe and put it on, tying the knot loosely.

He walked her to the door. As she was about to leave, she turned to him again and kissed him. “Ah,” she sighed. “No wonder many girls swoon over you.”

He didn’t say anything.

“So, when will I see you again?”

He was about to say no, he doesn’t have any plans of seeing her again but he chose to shrug. “Depends,” he answered, making her laugh.

“Okay then,” she said. “But I hope it’ll be soon.”

Then, she left. But he stood there in front of the door, his eyes fixed on someone from afar. He knew the physique even without seeing fully her face. But when he looked at her face, he saw her eyes were wide with hurt. He was about to step back in and close the door, to shut away the look on her face when someone called for his name just across the road. He looked to the source and saw Sohee.

“What do you want?” he growled.

“Why are you being snappy?” she asked, frowning.

“I’m not in the mood to talk.”

She raised her brows. “Well, it’s not going to stop from talking to you anyway.”

“What the is wrong with you women?!” he breathed.

“And now he blames our kind,” she said, clicking her tongue. She walked past by him and went straight into his room without another glance at him.

“I thought you wanted to talk,” he said as soon as he reached his room. “But you went straight to my room.”

“You do know that Dara’s outside, right?”

“Really?”

“You’re being an again, do you know that?”

“No, I don’t.”

Sohee sighed impatiently. “What’s the matter with you? You broke your promise to me because of her. You even said her happiness matters to you more than her safety. You’re not the only one hurting here.”

“I’ve already had enough scars on my body,” he said. “I’m already scarred inside, I don’t want to add more scars to that.”

“Well, that’s bull!” she burst out. “You’re not the only scarred person here, Jiyong and you know that!” Jiyong didn’t say anything. Sohee sighed in agitation and started taking her clothes off. “Look at me,” she said. “Look at me closely.”

He did. And he saw them. A normal person would not see them. Even he, at first glance, he didn’t see. But then, there they are – scars weave here and there in her body. There was something gut-wrenching seeing those scars on a woman’s body, especially since Sohee’s built was almost the same with. . . with. . . .

He shook his head and walked towards her. He lifted one arm and traced one scar with his forefinger. Sohee flinched and stepped away from him. He looked up at her and saw the look on her eyes – she looked terrified. Sohee was scared. He had never seen her like this before. She had always been a bubbly person, an independent and will-driven person. But then, she looked terrified. And he knew why. The scars. . . it could run deeper than the skin sometimes. That’s how he used to feel, until Dara came into his life. He could still remember how she used to cry seeing her scars; he could still remember how it felt when she kissed his scars before.

“Sohee, what happened to you?” he asked.

Outside the house, two pair of brown eyes was looking up at curtained window, where the shadows of two people can be seen. It was already dark but she could see their shadows clearly. She stood there and watched them. Minutes passed, maybe an hour or so but the shadows just stood there inside the room. And then, something happened. The shadow of the guy moved, leaning in towards the shadow of the girl. Her breath froze in her chest. She knew what would happen and she did not want to see it but for some weird reason, her eyes remained opened.

Just as the shadows fused together, making them look as one, she started feeling it. Her chest tightened, making her clutch it. Her airway seemed constricted that she found it hard to breathe. Her mind spun around and she knew she was going to fall down any moment. She looked up once again and she wasn’t able to take it anymore. She was starting to black out and just as she was about to faint, she felt two arms around her. And she knew, she knew who it was. Just before her mind snapped close, a tear fell down from her eye.

Meanwhile, far from the Valley, far from the chaos of Dara’s world, a girl stood in front of the mirror. It was just then that she looked at herself closely. She had changed, she acknowledged that. It was quite. . . unnerving now that she think of it. She no longer looked like one of the boys. Her white blonde hair was down, curled at the tip elegantly. She wondered, what would he think of me now?

She shook her head to drive the thought away. No, she should not be thinking about that. Just then, she heard footsteps coming closer. She looked behind her and saw her aunt. The woman smiled at her. “Will you look at that,” she said.

“I feel a bit awkward, actually,” she confessed. “I haven’t worn a dress before.”

“You look perfect!” her aunt said, holding her arms up for a hug.

“Thanks for this wonderful dress, aunt. No birthday gift could be better than this.”

“Oh no,” her aunt laughed, pulling away a little. “I have another gift for you.”

She frowned. “But. . .”

“No buts,” she said. “And besides, you’re not going alone. I’m going with you, too. I haven’t gone into a vacation for a long time. But I’m afraid it’ll still be a few months from now.”

“Vacation? Where?”

“Where else?” her aunt piped excitedly. “To the Valley of course!”

The smile instantly left her face. “T-the Valley?”

“Yes!” her aunt happily clapped. “Aren’t you excited? You’ll see all of your friends again!”

“All of my friends. . .” she repeated mechanically.

“Chaerin, are you alright? You’re a bit a pale.”

No, I’m not okay, she wanted to say. But then, she didn’t want to spoil her aunt’s mood. So she smiled. “Yes, I’m alright. I’m just a bit tired.”

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Sorry for the typos and grammar errors!!

Wee, read your comments guys and saw a lot of different opinions, hahaha.. me loves it!!

Anyway, I've got work on Christmas so as much as I want to updated on that day, I'm afraid i won't be able to. But I'll try to update all of my fics on the 22nd or 23rd. If I can't then maybe on the 29th or 30th of this month. If not, then next year, LOL. Aside from updating all of my fics, I'm planning to post the thing that I'm working on. I haven't finished it yet coz I wanted to take time to write it and well, that thing isn't really my genre, so. . . . hehehe.. Most of you already know what that thing is since well, I've posted some teasers and preview on twitter already. However, I'm afraid it won't be posted OL yet. It'll come out as a downloadable file first, kkkk. ehem, calling a kind-hearted banner maker, LOL

As to the question if TBP is nearing the end, my answer is: